Tourette's Guy Goes to Equestria

Within minutes, Danny had finally approached the village enough to see the civilisation and immediately scowled upon seeing it was just more ponies with ranging colours that weren't even possible in the human world along with strange looking tattoo's on their flanks. As Danny took a step into the area, all eyes from the citizen ponies were all at the human. Some ponies gave curious glances while others had intimidated looks on their muzzles upon the fact that they had never seen a human before, especially one that looked like Danny.

Danny gazed around to see all the ponies still staring at him while some of them whispered to each other, he took no notice of this and proceeded to walk amongst the equine citizens before exploiting another unexpected outburst.

"HOLY SHIT!!"

The ponies surrounding him immediately jumped back in recoil at the sudden noise and cocked their eyebrows at what he had just said while some of them gave unimpressed looks as if they knew what that word was. Some of the accompanying fillies and colts who were around were trying to stifle their giggles from the bad word.

It was not long until Twilight, Applejack and the three fillies entered the scene and stared in horror at the two legged giant. Sweetie Belle pointed a hoof at it.

"That's it! That's the thing we saw!"

Danny turned around to see the three fillies again but this time accompanied by a purple unicorn and an orange cowpony who had curious yet stern looks on their faces. Twilight stepped closely towards the biped and nervously spoke out.

"W-Who are you? And why are you here?"

"Danny. No idea how I even got here." Danny answered in a quiet, deep hoarse voice.

Twilight put a hoof to her chin and observed the creature, two legs, arms, tall body, different facial features. Twilight's ears immediately pricked up with realisation.

"Wait a minute... Are you perhaps a human?" Twilight asked.

"Of course that's a human! what else could it be?" A feminine voice chimed in, Danny and Twilight turned to see a mint green pony with a mane and tail that had streaks of blue and white, a lyre could be seen on her flanks. Like Twilight, she also had a horn protruding from her forehead. The pony donned a big smile at Danny.

"Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! A real human! In Ponyville!" The green pony bounced with delight upon her discovery, this one in particular having a major fascination in humans.

"Lyra! You've read about humans, are you sure this thing is one of them?" Twilight asked the green pony addressed as 'Lyra'.

"As sure as I'll ever be!" Lyra retorted, the smile not leaving her muzzle. Danny was already starting to get weirded out by Lyra's fangirl behaviour and was just about to walk off in the opposite direction when Applejack immediately intervened.

"Woah there, Sugarcube. Ya didn't come here to cause any trouble in Ponyville did ya?" She asked sternly.

"The fuck are you talking about?" Danny responded, Applejack and Twilight looked at him with unimpressed expressions.

"Mr. Danny, we do not appreciate that kind of language here!" Twilight scolded Danny.

"Sorry, got Tourette's." Danny was quick to apologise. This made Twilight tilt her head in confusion.

"Tourette's? What is that?"

"Oh oh! I know!" Lyra butted in before retrieving a book that was titled, 'Human Anatomy and Inflictions'. An emanating aura glowed around the book and Lyra's horn as it seemingly opened by itself and the pages were flipped until they stopped on a certain article. Lyra put a hoof on the page she found and read it aloud.

"According to this book, Tourette's Syndrome is a human infliction that makes the infected human do strange acts out of their own control, the most famous being one where they can't stop saying bad words." Lyra described before giving an intrigued smile.

Twilight and Applejack's eyebrows arched to make an expression of guilt as they looked up at Danny.

"Eh heh heh... Sorry about that Mr. Danny. Guess you have no control over it, huh?" Twilight stammered apologetically.

"I HAVE BALLS!!" Danny yelled out, Twilight and Applejack could only give awkward smiles in response while Lyra on the other hand was desperately trying not to laugh from the funny remark.

"W-well... Now that you're here, Mr. Danny. I think it's best if I introduce myself, my name is Twilight Sparkle. The orange pony next to me is Applejack and that mint green one is Lyra. And as of today, we would like to welcome you and give you a tour of Ponyville ourselves!" Twilight managed to break the silence before signalling Danny to follow her. The citizen ponies still watching curiously as the human soon disappeared out of their sight.

"I gotta tell Bon Bon about this!" Lyra immediately realised before speeding off the opposite direction.

"Oh darn it all..." Applejack furrowed her brow in exhaustion, this was gonna be a hell of a day to go through.

"And this is Golden Oaks Library, where I live! If you need to find a book to read, feel free to drop by!" Twilight eagerly exclaimed, finishing her tour after taking Danny to other landmarks of Ponyville such as Carousel Boutique (which at the time was closed for lunch) and Ponyville's school. Danny only looked on with an uninterested expression and sipped a beer that he had in his pocket ever since he had broken the toaster back at home. The silence having been quickly interrupted by a gasp behind him, Danny turned to see a pink mare with an amazed grin on her muzzle.

"Oh my gosh are you new here in Ponyville? Cus it's been a long time since we've ever had a newcomer here! Anway, my name's Pinkie Pie, party pony of Ponyville, whenever you feel down, I'll be there to make you smile!" Pinkie Pie spoke at an incredibly fast pace without showing any signs of fatigue.

"Oh hello, Pinkie Pie! This is Danny, he's a human." Twilight greeted Pinkie and introduced the human to her. Pinkie gasped again.

"A human, really?! I remember Lyra telling me some stuff about these humans when I had a sleepover with her and Bon Bon that one time! What do you humans do, Danny? What's it like to have hands? Do all humans wear that funny white thing on your neck?" Twilight could only giggle at Pinkie Pie's childlike curiosity and amazement.

"Oh my gosh! I nearly forgot, I gotta get back to Sugarcube Corner for... something. See ya later Danny and Twilight." Pinkie said before galloping away.

"The hell was that about?" Danny asked Twilight who gave a nervous toothy smile.

"Oh, she's always like that when someone new comes to Ponyville. Now how about we come inside?" Twilight retorted before leading Danny into the tree library, the interior was full to the brim with bookshelves and more bookshelves.

"You got a seat?" Danny asked, Twilight walked over to a chair and pushed it towards him. The human sat down and took another chug of his beer. Twilight noticed the strange looking bottle in his grasp.

"What is that?" Twilight asked, pointing at the bottle.

"It's good shit, that's what it is." Danny simply answered, handing the bottle over to Twilight to offer her a snip.

Twilight took the bottle with her magic and sniffed at the open top, the strange aroma made her think of wheat and barley. She tipped the bottle in her mouth and let the liquid flow inside and suddenly gagged a little upon tasting the drink.

"Eugh. It's a little bitter and malty." Twilight recoiled before putting a hoof to her neck.

"Yet... It's kind of refreshing." She finished before taking another gulp, the bottle was empty in a matter of seconds. As Twilight removed the bottle from her muzzle, she let out a hearty belch thanks to the beer's carbonation.

"Oops, excuse me." Twilight put a hoof to her muzzle and blushed. Danny couldn't help but chuckle a bit at this.

"That was a rather intriguing drink, Danny. Where do you get these?" Twilight asked.

"From Walmart." Danny just said. Twilight pondered at his answer, she had known about the Ponyville convenience store but she had never heard about a store called 'Walmart'. Twilight turned the bottle around to find the ingredients and other information in order to get an idea of how it was made. It appeared that all it needed was some malt, yeast and alcohol.

Alcohol? As in the rubbing alcohol for wounds? Twilight figured she could probably go to Lyra for some answers later since she was the brainiac when it comes to humans. Twilight turned to see Danny fumbling about with one of the bookshelves.

"Where's the TV guide?!" Danny yelled angrily.

"Danny, I don't really have a TV here. But if you're planning on watching it with somepony then I do have a TV guide here." Twilight answered.

"Throw it over here!" Danny called out, holding his arm out. Twilight launched the small book with her magic at Danny only for it to almost hit his crotch area.

"Ouch! Motherfucker, you hit me in the dick!" Danny scolded.

"Oops, sorry Danny!" Twilight apologised nervously.

"You're lucky it wasn't hard!" Danny yelled before grabbing the TV guide and shaking it in the air.

"I meant this thing, not my dick!" Danny referred to the book in his hand. Twilight tilted her head, confused at the remark.