Tourette's Guy Goes to Equestria

The Cutie Mark Crusader, Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle trotted off into Ponyville after finishing their day at Ponyville School in order to find their quest item: a television for their new human friend, Danny. They asked several pony residents on where they could find such a device and came out with information on several malls in Canterlot while hearing that there was one store that sold electrical devices like TV's in Ponyville dubbed 'Ponyville Elec-sclucives'. As they enter the store, the three fillies jaws hung wide in awe at the array of devices and knick knacks everywhere you looked. There were aisles that stored such devices such as the videogame system called 'The Ponycom Family System' that was packaged with a free video game, 'Buck Hogan's SSX Snowboard Ultra Deluxe Premium (with 3D)!'. Many of the customers were usually seen as normal everyday nerds, one of which was holding a cell phone, playing 'Ponymon GO'. The Crusaders' eyes were shifting at every angle possible to find a TV until they finally laid eyes on a certain electrical object.

It was wide and black, a light reflective piece of plastic was bordered around into a rectangular shape that was held up by some kind of small podium, the word 'PONY' written in a fancy white font was plastered at the bottom of the border. Yep, it was a TV no doubt. Upon realising this, the three fillies cheered once more.

"Cutie Mark Crusader TV Locaters!"

Back at Golden Oaks Library, Danny had been called by Twilight so he could answer several she had in mind in order to learn more about him and the human world. A notepad and pencil levitating in front of her so she could take notes, with no time spent. Twilight began the questionnaire.

"So Danny, you're from the human world, correct?" Twilight asked. Danny nodded in response.

"Alright, so here's my real first question. Which part of the human world did you come from?"

"America." Danny answered with a shrug, Twilight wrote this down before continuing.

"Okay... Does this 'America' have a leader of some sorts?"

"A president. George W. Bush, or better known as colonel cluster fuck." Danny replied.

"So, do you have something against this Mr. Bush?" Twilight questioned with concern.

"Fuck him! He's an ass! I'd like to..." Danny proceeded into a major raunchy rant about doing something quite grotesque and unnecessary to the president of USA, Twilight's concern was heightening with every word he ears picked up until Danny finally finished his answer.

"Danny, if this Bush has some kind of leadership of where you come from, then you could get into really big trouble if he heard all that!" Twilight warned Danny cautiously.

"I DON'T GIVE A DEAD MOOSE'S LAST SHIT! THATP PLACE IS AMERICA, I HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH! AND IF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT, THEY CAN GO FUCK THEIR FUCKING SELVES!" Danny spat out with disgust, Twilight flinched at the outburst before gulping nervously.

Back at Ponyvile Elec-sclusives

"But it's all the bits we have! What if we paid you the rest later, we'll work for it!" Scootaloo begged the cashier.

Unfortunately, things weren't going according to plan with the crusaders. The very TV they had found was at a price of 650 bits and all they had were 47, they were 603 bits short. The three were giving the cashier their best sad puppy eyes in hopes of changing his mind but to no avail.

"47 bits is not enough, either pay me the full price or you can come back in 15 years when you have jobs and have enough money to even afford any insurance!" The cashier spat in annoyance at the crusader's persistence. Obviously, this wasn't going anywhere unless the three fillies had another back up plan. Luckily, they managed to come up with one.

Sweetie Belle started to sob hysterically which immediately grabbed the cashier's attention.

"T-T-There's a friend we have at Canterlot hospital who has a horrible disease! He can't walk or move! And we're just trying to give this TV to his family as a gift before he... he DIES!!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, bursting into a tearful breakdown with Applebloom and Scootaloo joining in straight away.

"How can ya be so heartless at a desperate time like this?!" Applebloom choked out before the three fillies grappled each other in a wailing group hug.

That finally got the cashier to lower his stance down. The fact that these three fillies were just trying to get the TV as a gift for a dying friend and that he had just tried to shoo them away really tore away at his own heart. Struck with major remorse, he finally caved before handing the TV over to the crusaders, free of charge. The fillies smiled and wiped their tears before making off with the TV.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!!" Sweetie Belle called out gratefully as they exited the electrical appliance store.

The crusader were now in the square of Ponyville when they stopped to catch a breather since they had been pushing a rather heavy TV all the way from the store.

"Good work, girls!" Scootaloo praised Applebloom and Sweetie Belle with a smirk.

"Yeah! Now we just need to find Danny!" Sweetie Belle added. The other two nodded before reaffirming their grip of the TV to find Danny.

Twilight reread her notes and picked up on the answers to her questions that Danny had answered before she looked back up at Danny and asked one last question.

"Do you have any family or friends back at America, Danny?"

"My grandpa died 15 years ago! NOBODY GAVE A SHIT!" Danny blurted out.

"Well... I'm uh... Sorry to hear about that." Twilight said with a faint sigh, she wrote down her answer before calling out to Spike.

"Spike! I need you to take a letter!" Spike saluted and retrieved a blank sheet of paper for Twilight to write on.

"Dear Princess Celestia,

2 days ago, a creature known as a 'Human' from another world crash landed into Applejack's farm and found his way into Ponyville. His name is Danny and is rather friendly if not a little stubborn, he has a human condition named 'Tourette's Syndrome' which forces him to shout vulgar words out of his own will. Pinkie Pie has offered to take care of him at Sugarcube Corner as a means of shelter and has become quite the talk of Ponyville. Before writing this letter, I asked him several questions about him and the human world where he comes from. You'll find the notes with this letter which are the written answers that I got from him. I hope that you will be happy to meet him as soon as possible as he is quite the interesting fellow to talk to.

-Twilight Sparkle"

After finishing off the letter, Twilight rolled up the paper with the notes inside before handing it to Spike who exited the library and set off to Canterlot to have it delivered straight to the Princess of Equestria, Celestia. Seconds later, the door opened again to reveal the Cutie Mark Crusaders with the TV still in their hooves.

"Danny! We finally found you!" Sweetie Belle cheered as she and the other two presented the widescreen device to Danny who gave an expression of amazement. For their efforts, Danny walked over to the beer crate that Twilight retrieved from Sugercube Corner this morning and was holding on to it for further research and gave a bottle each to the fillies as a reward.

"Thank ya, Mr Danny!" Applebloom said before she and the other two started their trek back to their clubhouse with a beer bottle in their forehooves.

Twilight inspected the TV in curiosity before looking up at Danny.

"Is this what you wanted the TV guide for on the day you came here?" Danny nodded before the door burst open once more as Rainbow Dash sped inside with a leaflet in her mouth.

"Twilight, thomethingth happening tonight!" Rainbow Dash said with her speech impeded from the leaflet, she lowered on to the floor and dropped the leaflet for Twilight to read.

Ponyville Get Together! Hosted by Mayor Mare!

Refreshments, music and entertainment for everypony!

Ponyville Square, 8PM sharp.

Twilight smiled in delight.

"A get together? This sounds like fun! We should go, Rainbow Dash! You coming too, Danny?"

Danny was taking no notice of what Twilight was saying as he was too preoccupied with looking for something to munch on in the kitchen fridge.

"Who gives a shit about Bigfoot?! Men's Asses!" Danny exclaimed, Rainbow Dash laughed at the remark as usual. Twilight on the other hand was stumped on who Danny was referring to as 'Bigfoot'.

The Ponyville Square was bustling with every resident of Ponyville who were having a conversation or helping themselves to the many refreshments, courtesy of Pinkie Pie. Danny was helping himself to another beer while being convinced by Rainbow Dash to let her have a taste of the alcoholic beverage to which Danny eventually gave in.

"Hey Danny!" Pinkie Pie called out, bouncing over to her roommate.

"I see the gutter mouth human is here as well!" Applejack chimed in with a smirk, she was joined by Fluttershy and Rarity.

"Ah, we meet again, Danny darling." Rarity greeted politely.

"Um... H-hi, Mr Danny." Fluttershy whispered. Danny simply nodded in response when the mayor of Ponyville, Mayor Mare appeared on a stage and began her speech.

"I would like to thank everypony who arrived here to celebrate this evening in Ponyville as a 'thank you' for keeping Ponyville in working condition up until now!"

Everypony with the exception of Danny applauded, Mayor Mare continued her speech.

"As the Mayor of Ponyville, I wish everypony to have a good time at this night as--" A large puff of smoke engulfed both the Mayor and the stage before clearing out to reveal a blue carriage which was on the stage and had apparently taken Mayor Mare's place as the door burst open. Twilight scowled in frustration.

"Oh no... It's her..." Twilight grunted as a light blue unicorn with mane of a lighter shade leaped out of the carriage, donning a purple cape and hat that was decorated with white stars and moons. The pony finally spoke out just as it landed into the floorboards.

"Feast your eyes, everypony! For the Great and Powerful Trixie has returned!" The pony addressed as Trixie Lulamoon boasted before receiving unamused groans and boos from the majority of the audience which she took no notice of.

"And now, for the introductory act! Trixie shall--"

"FAGGOT!!" Danny's Tourette's got the better of him as he let out another outburst, making Rainbow Dash laugh. Trixie looked around for the source of the noise until her glare reached the sight of Danny.

"YOU!" Trixie screamed out, pointing a forehoof at Danny who turned his head at the unicorn that was still keeping her glare at him.

"You think you have the gall to interrupt the Great and Powerful Trixie?! Of all the nerve!" Danny only responded with a silent stoic expression before taking a sip of his beer. Trixie growled at Danny ignorance and fired a blast of magic that knocked the bottle out of Danny's hand and spilled the contents onto the ground. Danny looked back at Trixie with a scowl.

"If you think you are more important than Trixie by simply interrupting her, then Trixie hereby challenges you, creature from the outside to a magic duel!" Trixie boasted out. Danny trudged towards the stage and climbed up where Trixie found him to be much taller than she expected.

"No matter, You're size shall not intimidate the Great and Powerful Trixie!" Trixie yelled out while observing Danny.

"Give her a good socking, Danny!" Rainbow Dash rooted for Danny all the way. The Cutie Mark Crusaders joined in.

"Give her the same treatment you did to Diamond Tiara, Danny!" They all chimed.

"Is the outsider ready to face the Great and Powerful Trixie?!" Trixie asked Danny who gave a face of determination.

"IT'S ON, FAGGOT!!"