Tourette's Guy Goes to Equestria

"Oh my..." Fluttershy gasped nervously at the two on stage, Danny and Trixie gave each other determined glares to pump up for the magic duel, the majority of the ponies Danny had come to know were rooting him on.

"Kick her flank, Danny!" Rainbow Dash called out.

"Yeah! You can do it! Take on that bitch!" Pinkie Pie joined in.

"PINKIE!!" Rarity and Twilight yelled at her in disgust, Pinkie put her forehooves to her muzzle, figuring out that 'bitch' was indeed another bad word.

"Oops..."

"Let the duel commence!" Trixie finally declared. The blue unicorn started off the duel by challenging Danny to a telekinesis contest. Trixie picked up an untouched raspberry pie from one of the food stands with her magic and levitated it over her and making it spin around.

Danny was already stumped at this point, he knew for a fact that he had no magic and wouldn't stand a chance if he didn't act fast. Out of instinct, Danny did what he thought was the most reasonable thing to do. He ran out of the stage and over to the beer bottle that Trixie had knocked out of his hand, he picked it up and ran back on stage before slamming it onto Trixie's glowing horn, making the bottle shatter in the progress and distract Trixie from her current act. In response, Trixie yelped while unintentionally letting go of the pie that was still above her before she was met with a splat of pastry and raspberry jam all over her face seconds later, this in turn made some of the audience chortle at the act.

"Well! The Great and Powerful Trixie has never!" Trixie yelled with a scowl, attempting to wipe off the splattered jam and crust on her face. She gave Danny a more infuriated glare.

"So you like to do this the comedic way?! Fine! Then Trixie shall outnumber you with a comedic act off!" Trixie bellowed before using her magic to clean off the rest of the splattered pie. Using her magic, she lifted Danny off of the stage and into the air who felt like he was actually floating.

"HOLY SHIT!!" Danny could only say upon the feeling of being in the air, he looked down to see the entire audience watching on with curiosity but what he didn't know was that Trixie had other plans.

"Time for a crash landing!" Trixie remarked before disabling her magic which made gravity go ape shit on Danny and make him fall back on stage flat on his ass.

"OW!! PISS!!!" Danny yelled out in pain. Trixie smirked at this, but was given boos from the entire audience. Danny looked over at Trixie before yelling out again, now it was his turn.

"Let me tell you... about a porcupine's balls! They're small, and they don't give a shit!!" Some of the audience, mostly the colts and fillies couldn't help but start to giggle at the human's use of swear words.

"You call that and act of humour?! Trixie does not allow this kind of language on this duel!" Trixie scolded Danny who could care less and decided to interpret her into a heated argument.

"FUCK YOU!!" Danny bellowed, Trixie thought hard before deciding to use a more social comeback to continue the fight.

"Yeah?! Well Trixie says BUCK YOU!"

"FUCK YOU!!"

"BUCK YOU!!"

"FUCK YOU!!"

"BUCK... YOU!!"

"I SAID 'FUCK YOU' FIRST SO FUCK YOU!!!"

By now, almost the entire audience including Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were laughing like crazy mostly at hearing Danny's outburst. The only ones who remained silent were Applejack, Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy. The argument between Danny and Trixie wasn't going to stop there.

"BUCK YOU!!"

"FUCK YOU!!"

"BUCK YOU!!"

"FUCK YOU AND EVERY KIM KARDASHIAN THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU!!" Trixie stumbled back, wide eyed at the insult. The laughter from the audience grew louder despite not knowing who this 'Kim Kardashian' was. Trixie face began to turn red with rage before she found herself unable to control her violent rage.

"ARRRRGH!! TRIXIE WILL TEACH YOU FOR MAKING HER A FOOL IN FRONT OF EVERYPONY!!!" Trixie screamed as her horn glowed once again and the same aura that was around Danny when she was pulling her comedy act returned. Danny felt the air push against him as he was suddenly flung towards one of the nearby houses and crashed into a wall, several cracks were a result of the tremendous impact. The audience gasped with horror at the sight of Trixie practically trying to severely injured Danny out of anger and humiliation, Trixie threw Danny back onto the stage before trotting over to him.

"Do you concede to Trixie?!" Trixie asked with a threatening glare, Danny only responded with sheer rage by grabbing a broomstick that laying on the stage floorboards and took a swing at Trixie, the unexpected whack made the unicorn tumble on lose her footing before she fell onto her stomach unaware that Danny was about to repeatedly swat her with the broom like a fly.

"OW!! STOP!! OW! TRIXIE IS NOT A-- OUCH!! TRIXIE DEMANDS YOU TO STO-- AARRRGH!!! OWWW!!!" Trixie constantly attempted to refrain Danny from his onslaught of broom whacking but her speech was always cut off with a whack of the broom to her head. After several more swings, Danny finally ceased his swatting and dropped the broom and was readjusting his glasses while Rarity finally piped up.

"Danny, darling! I believe Trixie wasn't intending this to be a violent duel!" Rarity called out with concern.

"I'M TOO PISSED TO GIVE A SHIT!!" Danny shouted in response while Trixie managed to get back on all fours and sent a blast of magic to Danny's stomach without him even noticing. Danny was flung towards the end of the stage just before he stopped at the very edge.

"Danny, no!!" Pinkie yelled in panic before grabbing a cupcake seemingly out of nowhere and had it aimed towards the downed human, the cake in question had a kind of leaf green icing. With a precise throw, Pinkie launched the cupcake at Danny as it tumbled onto his chest. Danny recovered from the whole trauma and picked up the cupcake with a confused look.

"Pinkie, what kind of cupcake did you throw at Danny exactly?" Rarity asked, a little skeptical on how just a cupcake would help Danny with his current situation.

"Oh! The icing is actually made from some kind of leafy stuff called spinach which was shipped from Appleoosa this morning!" Pinkie retorted with a smile.

Danny took one bite of the cupcake and swallowed when he suddenly leaped back on his legs and felt the energy pulsating within him as he gave a death glare at Trixie who stared at him dumbfounded.

"How did you get back up so quickly after all that?!" Trixie said, Danny only trudged forward and gave one last outburst.

"Pissing out the window, and shitting out the window are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS!!!" And with that, Danny pulled his fist backwards before swinging straight at Trixie, making contact with her muzzle before Trixie was propelled right out of the stage and into a building with brute force.

Trixie slowly slid off the building wall before regaining consciousness and felt some kind of fluid dripping down her muzzle, she put a hoof to her nose to see some blood. Danny had practically almost broken her nose, she gave a death glare at Danny.

"HOW DARE YOU ATTACK TRIXIE!! YOU RUFFIAN!! YOU BARBARIAN!! YOU... YOU... YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!" Trixie screamed out with pure rage and immediately slapped both front hooves to her mouth after realising what she had just blurted out. She looked to the audience to find nothing but unamused scolding glares all focused on her.

"Eh heh heh... Umm... Trixie never meant... uhh..." Trixie stammered nervously as Twilight and her other 5 friends approached her with stern looks.

"Just drop it, Trixie." Twilight said with a serious tone.

"Yeah Trix, if you messed up the first time, then you were gonna mess up this time." Rainbow Dash joined in.

"I guess this means Danny won the duel!" Pinkie Pie gleamed as she looked back at Danny with a smile.

"Yay Danny!" The Cutie Mark Crusaders cheered. The majority of the audience agreed before applauding Danny for the whole show, Danny felt good inside, knowing he had become respected for doing the inevitable.

"Wha--?! But--?! This isn't fair! That was Trixie's show, not his--!! ARGH!!" Trixie stuttered before screaming in defeat, she ran into her carriage which made off before she could receive any more backlash.

Among the approving crowd, Danny heard the familiar voice of someone when he was at his welcoming party.

"There he is, Tavi! The hero of the night from Trixie! Danny!" Danny turned to see the familiar face of Vinyl Scratch pointing a forehoof at him while looking at an earth pony with a grey coat and a sensible dark grey mane, a vibrant classical note on her flanks known as Octavia Melody. Octavia looked at Danny with an astounded gaze.

"As I am not the one to tolerate such language, I am impressed with how you wrangled with Trixie and became victorious in the end." Octavia said with a rather impressed tone.

"Are you kidding?! This guy is so funny and awesome!" Rainbow Dash interjected, with Pinkie Pie rearing up on her hind legs.

"I have an idea! Let's give him a nickname! How about 'Danny the Great and Powerful Tourette's Guy!" Pinkie chimed, Rainbow Dash and Vinyl smiled at the idea while Octavia and Twilight simply shrugged.

"Long live Danny the Great and Powerful Tourette's Guy!" The Cutie Mark Crusaders cheered.

"FAGGOT!!" Danny bellowed triumphantly and everypony laughed.