Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 16: I'm Here To Kick Ass

By: Major Frostwing

The flight up to the Crystal Empire was a long painful journey. It was just so boring and after that first guard spoke to me none of them are talking. Upside I got to think of all the ways I could kill Sombra. Downside I started cackling like a fucking psychopath 20 minutes in... Hindsight is 20/20.

When we had finally landed I got to see the impressive Crystal Empire in all it's glory. Magical dome and all... Fucking hate magic like this. Since I am so heavily corrupted all the shield does is burn me or launch me backwards. "Go tell Princess Cadence I am standing by the south side..." I ordered one of the guards as they all ran into the city to avoid the harsh blizzard that seemed to be raging outside the dome.

I waited staring out into the blizzard with my arms crossed. I'm glad I had Celestia etch climate control runes into my armor. Keeps me warm when it is cold and cool when it is hot. Very very handy.

I heard the shield shift behind me as I backed up into the safety of the dome as it closed up before me. I continued to stare out into the blizzard before turning on my heel walking towards the castle. Cadence will have the information I would need to find Sombra and get back the others. I just hope I am not too late.

I made it to the castle walking up the steps only to be stopped by two guards who crossed their spears before me. "Halt!" One of them yelled as I looked at him.

"No entry into the castle!" The other one barked as I took hold of their spears breaking them so they no longer blocked my path. The two guards looked down at their weapons before looking at me as I continued on my path.

"I SAID HALT!" The first guard yelled as he set his hand on my shoulder. I turned around seizing him by the throat lifting him into the air.

"I don't have time for you..." I muttered tossing him into his comrade before continuing towards the throne room. I had a job to do and these pests were testing my patience.

I made it to the throne room only to see a large squad of guards standing at the ready. I rolled my eyes under my helmet at how ridiculous this all was. "HEY! CADANCE!" I yelled out as the guards all looked at each other confused. "GET YOUR PINK ASS OUT HERE BEFORE I START BREAKING YOUR GUARDS!" The guards started advancing on me as I smiled under my helmet.

Just as the first one reached me I saw Cadance walk out of the throne room clapping her hands together once catching everyone's attention. "Jon... Crude as ever." Cadance said with a giggle. "Come inside I will brief you on your mission." I raised my hands as two walls of dark purple appeared between the guards.

"Let me just make a path real quick." I said flicking my hands to the side. The walls bodily moved the guards out of my way as I walked up to Cadance. "So how was the Honeymoon?" I asked as Cadance giggled once again closing the doors behind us.

"I shouldn't be laughing at a time like this but your brash nature and lightheartedness is better than the depressing air that is surrounding the Empire." Cadance said as she looked at my helmet. "How far has it progressed?" She asked as I lifted the visor revealing my eyes to her.

"Faster than expected but still within the time frame. Now tell me about this Tyrant so I may introduce him to the reaper of souls." I smiled as I flicked the visor down over my face.

"Shining and the others were captured by Sombra before they could make it to the safety of the shield." Cadance explained to me as I followed her. "We sent out scouting parties every direction we could. All of them made it back without incident except one. That squad was heading North North-West... They have been missing for 26 hours now."

I nodded my head setting my hand against my chin. "I will localize my search to the West then." I said calmly. "Did you prepare what I asked for?" I asked her as she nodded confused.

"I still don't understand why you wanted a boom box but I had one prepared just like you asked." Cadance walked into a war room which had the boom box sitting on the table along with a large assortment of weapons. "I also prepared the list of weaponry you asked for."

I walked up to the weapons looking them over calmly. I lifted up each one looking them over with a critical eye before all the weapons vanished from the table. "Now that I have what I need... Time to go behead a king." I picked up the boombox in my magic floating it behind me.

"So what is the point of the boom box exactly?" Cadance asked as I shrugged

"I just want to play some music to the fight." I said bluntly shrugging my shoulders.

I turned on my heel as the boom box followed behind. People moved out of my way as I advanced towards the west side of the city.

I exited the city without to much incident. People collapsing or running away from me in fear was not planned but not unexpected. I walked right through the shield protecting the kingdom without incident. It was meant to keep corruption out not in.

I walked through the frozen wasteland with only the boom box to keep me company for a long time until I saw it. A giant spire of crystals jutting out of the snow. Tacky as fuck and diffidently something a villain would think was cool. I rolled my shoulders walking forward not even bothering to draw my blade yet. We would have a chat first then we will fight. As per the code of villains.

"Interesting." I heard a voice echo around me as I only kept walking forward. "Another being of corruption and evil... But I can sense that light in your soul. What are you creature?" The voice continued to ask as I walked through a dome of dark magic. "Are you deaf creature a king has asked you a question."

"I am not deaf. I would just rather speak in person." I said walking up to the front door.

"Then by all means come into my temporary castle so we may discuss why you are here." The doors to the castle slowly began to open as I rolled my eyes at how slow they were. I raised my foot kicking the doors open with a loud bang.

"Strike one." I said to myself as I walked into the castle feeling the corruption pouring off of the walls. It was intoxicating but I was to focused on my goal... I wanted blood and I would fucking get it.

I continued my walked through the empty castle seeing many images of this King Sombra. I was not impressed. "Strike Two..." I said to myself as I found the large ornate doors to the throne room. I rolled my eyes letting out a sigh. pushing the doors open with a hard shove. "HONEY I'M HOME!" I yelled as I gripped the doors slamming them behind me. I saw this Sombra for the first time which gave me pause he looked bored at me.

"So you are the creature I saw out in the wastes. I am King Sombra. Normally it is customary to bow before a king when meeting them."

"I bow before no king. I am here for a few things you seemed to have taken from me. Six women, one prince, and an entire scouting party. I would like them back." I said holding my hand out to him. "Hand them over and I won't have to kill you in your own castle." I said smiling under my helmet.

"As if you could kill me. You are but one man against a king. I know black magic that would corrupt even you." Sombra stood from his throne walking down the steps towards me. "What can you hope to even do against a King who is known for his rage and merciless tactics?" I flexed my right arm as my gauntlet retracted revealing my dark purple bracer. I flicked a clasp as it fell off of my arm another flick of my wrist closed up my armor.

"You are a king known for his rage? I am a mortal man known for his hatred, his brutality, and his unending thirst for blood. You fought the princesses before and lost to 6 little gems. I have defeated Nightmare Moon, Discord, and Chrystalis. I am not afraid to add another name to that list." I raised my hand bringing my boom box forward as my phone levitated out of my armor connecting to it.

"What can you do without the elements? I have already captured them all that's left it to expand my reach to the rest of Equestria and then the world. I will start with you." Sombra snapped his fingers as 12 crystals rose out of the floor. I looked at them seeing all of them contained a person. I saw the girls in their own individual crystal with looks of horror on their faces.

"And that makes three..." I said letting out a sigh. I tapped a few buttons on my phone before floating the stereo over to a far wall. I drew my sword as it reved up like a chainsaw. Sombra drew his own sword. When the music kicked on I charged him and him at me weapons at the ready.

Blades clashed as our fight began.

Author's Note

For those of you who wanted to know what music Jon turned on for this fight here you go.