Salt, Anger, And Booze

Salt, Anger, And Booze
Part 17: And Kick Ass I Shall

By: Major Frostwing

My blade connected with Sombra's in a shower of sparks we glared at each other as we both pushed against each other. The music helped fuel my urge to fight and my rage. We both broke apart jumping back before charging once again swinging our swords only for them to lock once again.

"Is this all the strength you can put forth?" Sombra asked as we broke apart before clashing once again.

"I'm only using one hand." I said as I took hold of Umbra with both hands as I began pushing Sombra back. I revved up Umbra as the teeth bounced Sombra's blade many times before knocking him back. I stabbed at him to see him deflect my attack away from him. "COME ON!" I yelled as I swung down on Sombra only for him to dodge to the side. Umbra buried it's self into the crystals under my feet.

"I can see I should take this a little more seriously." Sombra flicked his arm as a shield of crystal flew up from the wall connecting to his arm.

"Maybe I should as well." I said as I ripped Umbra out of the ground with ease revving it with a smile. Sombra jumped at me with his shield raised I smiled as I raised my left hand as a shield of my own appeared in my hand. It was a tower shield with no insignia which I quickly corrupted as teeth jutted out of the face of the shield. Sombra slammed his shield against mine only for me to slide backwards slightly.

I couldn't help but smile under my helmet as I gripped my shield tighter. "There is one problem you did not take into account Sombra." I said as we both pressed our shields harder.

"And what was that?" He asked as my shield began to shake.

"I FUCKING LOVE CHAINSAWS!" I yelled as the teeth on the shield began spinning around the face of the shield grinding into Sombra's crystal shield. Sombra quickly jumped back as he looked down at his shield to see his shield was almost completely devoured by my shield's teeth. The teeth came to a sudden stop with a loud clank.

"I see you are not as weak as I initially thought." Sombra said as he shook his shield rebuilding it. "What is your name?" Sombra asked as I slammed my shield into the ground taking my arm out of it only for a small knife to appear in my hand. I rotated it between my fingers before holding it by the blade.

"They call me Salt." I said as I tossed the knife up and down catching it by the blade every time it came down. "Now let's get this over with I have better things I could be doing." I said as I reared my arm back corrupting the knife before letting it fly. The blade spun twice before slamming into Sombra's shoulder.

Sombra looked down at the knife pulling it out with a grunt. "You will pay dearly for that." Sombra dropped the knife as I shrugged dispersing the shield and knife.

"Come and make me mother fucker." I said with a chuckle as Sombra jumped forward sword and shield at the ready. I lifted my hand as Sombra froze in mid air being surrounded by a dark purple haze. "Oh so close." I said with a hiss through my teeth rolling my hand once before flicking my hand out throwing him right back into his throne which he broke with his body. "I'm not even breaking a sweat. Celestia is a bigger challenge than you." I said looking down at my hand rolling it slowly.

I looked up just in time to see a tendril rocket out of the dust cloud hitting me upside the head. The tendril snaked back before Sombra walked out of the dust cloud adjusting his crown.

I adjusted myself so I was standing once again seeing that the visor on my helmet was unhinged. I took hold of the helmet pulling it off of my head tossing it over my shoulder. "Not a bad hit." I said nodding before cracking my neck with a tilt of my head. "But now I am pissed off." I took hold of Umbra charging forward jumping at Sombra sword raised. Sombra raised his shield as I landed sliding on my heel into a spin slamming my blade horizontally into his side. Sombra let out a grunt of pain as he slammed his shield into my blade knocking it away as he stabbed at me with his sword.

I swayed my body slightly only receiving a shallow cut on my cheek. I did another full spin raising Umbra above my head swinging straight down on him only to catch his shield. Sombra smiled as He used all of his power to shoved my blade up and out of the way. I saw he was going to stab me when I let go of my sword pointing two fingers down at his blade. With a quick flick of the wrist the blade flew free of his hand.

I coiled my left hand into a fist as my shadow jumped up to my hand creating my claw. Sombra looked up at me in horror as as I slammed my fist right into his shield throwing him backwards quite a distance. I flexed my left hand before catching Umbra. I flicked my hand toward me as Sombra's sword flew into my hand.

"A weak grip you got there Sombra." I said as I examined his blade. "You could have had me there for a second if not for that weak grip." I slammed Sombra's sword into the crystal floor before baseball swinging Umbra cleaving right through the blade.

"How do you have such control over the darkness?" Sombra asked as I looked up at him to see I had blown a hole through his shield. "It took years of study and training to harness this power but you wield it as if it has been a part of you all your life." I set my hand on my chin smiling.

"I was always told I had a dark streak going for me." I said with a solid nod. "Plus I control this corruption with one simple thought." I smiled as my shadow began to boil rising above me in the shape of a dragon's skull. "HOW MUCH FUN CAN I HAVE WITH YOUR CORPSE!" I yelled smiling like a maniac. Sombra took a step back as I stomped forward causing cracks to form under each step. "I came here to get my friends back Sombra. I'm gonna do just that but first..." I charged forward jumping into the air Umbra primed and ready. "I NEED YOU TO DIE!" Sombra raised what remained of his shield as Umbra cut right through the shield and in proxy him as well.

Sombra fell to the ground in two pieces as I stood over him. Umbra hanging over my shoulder. "I underestimated you... A mistake I will not make again. When I regenerate I will hunt you down... AND SLAUGHTER YOU!" I felt something tear through my stomach making my look down to see a tendril of darkness sticking out of my gut.

"Next time?" I asked as I took hold of the tendril ripping it out of my stomach tossing it to the side. "That's a fucking riot." I crouched down slamming Umbra next to Sombra's head before seizing him by his horn. I held my hand up in the air. "Scalpel." I said calmly as a surgical scalpel appeared in my hand as I smiled down at Sombra.

Sombra's eyes widened in horror as I floated over my helmet repairing it as I set it on my head flipping the visor down. "Now hold still Sombra... I have a perfect track record in surgery... Actually I have never performed surgery." I tapped my chin thinking. "Oh well first time for everything." I said with a smile as I began cutting around the base of his horn. That's when the screaming started.

An hour later I had successfully removed Sombra's horn and was now flipping it in my hand. "See that wasn't so bad now was it?" I tapped Sombra's cheek as his head rolled lazily to the side. "Oh yea... you died 2 minutes ago... BOOOOOOORING!" I yelled before sighing. "Oh well I had fun. Time to clean up this mess and get them out of here." I picked Sombra's corpse up from the ground dragging it to his seat I nodded as I flashed the horn out of existence focusing on the large crystals that held the real reason I came here. I shrugged as I flicked my hand raising all of the crystals into the air.

Even though I wanted to get them out of their prisons this was not the place to do it... I set a hand over my stomach seeing that my wound had already healed. Silver lining I suppose. I walked out of the throne room setting all of the crystals down before turning back to the doors. I raised my hands as a giant padlock appeared locking the doors. "Good no entry allowed." I said smiling to myself before turning back to my goal.

"Hey Nightmare any idea how to get them out?" I asked as she appeared next to me.

"A strong enough hit should release them from their prisons or you could absorb the corruption. Your call." Nightmare said as I shrugged cracking my knuckles as I reared back punching the first crystal prison that held Twilight. 16 punches later and they were all free. Each one was leaning against the wall groaning as I stood across from them leaning on Umbra. Shining Armor was the first to get his bearings together sadly when he saw me he didn't know who I was so he did the only logical thing.

I took a concussive spell right to the forehead as my helmet was knocked off. I held my forehead with both hands hissing in pain. "MOTHER FUCKER SHINING WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT!?" I demanded as I looked up at him he took a step back a little stunned to see me. "I SAVE YOUR ASS AND YOU SHOOT ME!? NEXT TIME I'M NOT SAVING YOU!" I picked up my helmet shaking my head out as everyone else came around and saw me. The scouting party were on their guard when they saw I was a nightmare creature now but Shining put them at ease.

"Jon is that you?" Twilight asked as I rolled my eyes.

"No I'm Princess Celestia. WHO THE FUCK ELSE WOULD IT BE!?" I yelled raising my hands in anger.

"But that armor, and our capture, and and Sombra? What happened?" Twilight asked as her friends nodded in agreement. I let out a groan of annoyance.

"Armor is because I commissioned it. I came to rescue you fucks. I killed Sombra for taking you all... Here is your proof." Sombra's horn appeared in my hand as I tossed it to Shining. He caught it before dropping it to the floor.

"Jon... How did you get his horn?" Shining asked as I cracked a smile.

"I am a very good surgeon." I saw all of the unicorn blessed people raised their hands to cover their horns.

"Wait what do you mean by that?" Rainbow asked as Applejack was the first non-unicorn to catch on to what I said.

"He means he cut the horn out of his head." Applejack said in a near whisper.

"Yes I did." I said as Sombra's horn flew back to me before disappearing. "I have no regrets of doing so and would GLADLY do it again." I turned on my heel walking towards the exit. "Come along now. It's a long walk back to the Crystal Empire and I would like to make it before nightfall." I said as they all slowly began to follow me.