Salt, Anger, And Booze
Bonus 2: Hell Of A Party

By: Major Frostwing

-6 Months After Meeting Red's Parents-

"Shining where is Jon?" Twilight asked as Shining was tapped the the back of the door to the throne room.

"I don't have a single clue I have been stuck here since last night..." Shining tilted his head thinking. "Not sure what happened the bachelor party was going great until Jon drank to much." Shining looked down at Twilight trying to remember the events from last night. "You mind taking the inhibitor off of my horn so I can get down?" Twilight seemed to break out of her own thoughts before she removed Shining from the door.

"I know that Jon took over the throne room and the ball room for this party but I need to know where everyone went." Shining nodded his head as he pointed straight up at the ceiling. Twilight looked up and jumped at what she saw. Everyone was being held to the ceiling by some sort of tape. They were all asleep or unconscious.

"HOW DID THEY GET UP THERE!?" Twilight asked as Shining shrugged.

"Spike might know." Shining said as Twilight heard a weak groan coming from behind the throne.

Twilight quickly ran to the back of the throne to see Spike taped to the back upside down still asleep. "Spike wake up!" Twilight said pulling the small drake off of the back of the throne.

Spike opened his eyes blinking a few times as he woke up. "Oh gods what happened last night?" Spike asked as Shining walked forward as Spike looked up at him before bursting out in laughter.

"What?" Shining asked confused.

"You might want to look in the mirror." Spike said as he continued to laugh.

Twilight pinched between his eyes before summoning a mirror for Shining to look at himself. There was a bunch of unkind drawings and words on his face and chest.

"Oh he is a dead man..." Shining said as Twilight slowly lowered all the people that were on the ceiling to the ground.

"Why would Jon do all this?" Twilight asked as Spike scratched the back of his head.

"I think it was something along the lines of Jon asking me if I wanted to see something funny from his world." Spike looked around at how trashed the throne room was. "Also how did we get to the Throne room? We were in the Ball Room first."

"We should go investigate the Ball Room now." Twilight said as the three of them quickly moved to the Ball Room. Fear and uncertainty in their hearts.

-Royal Ball Room-

Twilight opened the doors to the Ball Room to be met with... A relatively clean room. Not a soul was in the room. All the tables were in order and there wasn't a speck of dust in the room.

"Uh Twilight what is going on?" Shining asked as they walked into the room.

"I don't know?" Twilight said as they cautiously moved through the room. "I know the party was held in this room."

"Uh Twilight... Look up." Spike said as Shining and Twilight looked to him before looking up to only jump in shock.

"Oh friend Twilight. Good Day!" Princess Luna said with a smile and a nod. "And Captain Armor the party last night was wondrous. Jon has quite the sense of humor." Luna said as she squirmed in her bonds. "Please release me though I fear Jon has booby trapped and has prank everyone in the castle."

Twilight quickly released Luna and helped her to the ground. The second Luna was back on the ground there was a loud shrill scream coming from one of the towers. "THAT'S PRINCESS CELESTIA!" Twilight yelled as they all quickly ran to Celestia's personal quarters.

-Princess Celestia's Quarters-

Shining Armor kicked the doors to the Celestia's room open to see Here sitting in the center of the room a blanket covering her completely. "PRINCESS WHAT HAS HAPPENED!" Shining asked as Celestia covered herself more muttering to herself.

"This is not happening... This is not happening." Twilight stepped forward as she took hold of the blanket pulling it back to reveal that Celestia now sported a black and dark purple mane.

Luna let out a laugh as she pointed at her sister. "It looks as if Jon has dyed your mane dear sister."

"Princess Luna he got to you as well." Spike said as he picked up a mirror as well showing her that her own mane was bleached white with a pink stripes running through it. Luna took a deep breath before screaming as well.

Luna quickly took the blanket from Twilight covering herself and her sister in the blanket mimicking Celestia's muttering.

"This is not happening... This is not happening."

"Uh... I think we should continue to look for Jon." Shining said as they all slowly moved out of the room leaving the princesses to their insane ramblings.

"Jon has gone too far." Twilight muttered as she paused. "Wait do you think he got to the girls?" Twilight asked as they all looked to each other before running off to check on Twilight's friends.

-Elements of Harmony Personal Quarters.-

"Twilight I'm getting worried... Celestia should have raised the sun half an hour ago." Shining said as Twilight nodded.

"Shining go back to the Princesses and try to get them to come back to their senses." Shining nodded before running back. Twilight took a deep breath opening the door to see the other girls all gathered in her room all in different forms of shock.

Jon had gotten to them all... Fluttershy's hair was black which made her no longer have that calm serenity that she always seemed to hold. Not to mention the black mascara that surrounded her eyes and dark eye-shadow.

Rarity's hair was cut into a Mohawk that was died a neon pink and neon blue. She had a bunch of skull accessories adorning her. She was wrapping her arms around herself rocking back and forth.

Rainbow dash had a bunch of nasty words written across her face and her hair was pulled back into a tight bun that she was trying to undo. A bright pink dress was put on her as well.

Applejack was the most tame but in her eyes she was the worst in her opinion. Her hat was missing and her hair was dyed a bright red.

Pinkie... nothing seemed to be wrong with her but she seemed the most hurt.

"Girls what in Tartarus happened to all of you?" Twilight asked as They all looked to her.

"We have no idea we woke up like this." Rarity said as she pointed at her mane. "WHO WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS!?" She yelled in a frenzy.

"Jon..." Spike said calmly as they all looked to him before Twilight.

"He got Shining, Spike, The Princesses, and all of you. We still don't know where he is." Twilight said as they all began to fume.

"JON DID ALL OF THIS!?" Pinkie asked as she got in Twilight's face. "WHAT MONSTER REPLACES EVERY SWEET THING I OWN WITH SUGAR FREE TREATS!?" Pinkie began to shake Twilight violently.

"P-Pinki-ie St-oo-op Sha-k-k-ing m-e-ee" Twilight said as Pinkie stopped as Twilight tried to make the world stop spinning. "He is the only one not accounted for and we have no idea where he is." They all began to think.

"Did you look on the roofs?" Rainbow asked as Twilight thought about it.

"Girls let's go and look for him."

"He needs to pay." Rarity growled out as she moved to the door to hunt down the one known as Jon.

-Top of The Tower of Peace-

I awoke slowly with a horrible head ache echoing through my head. I went to move my arm up to block the rising sun but only felt my arm secured to my side. I looked down before letting out a sigh. "Not again..." I muttered as I flexed my arms tripping through my bonds. I looked at where I was before freaking out. I let out a yell of fear as I took hold of the flag pole holding onto it with a death grip.... I closed my eyes tight. "WHY THE FUCK AM I ON A ROOF!?" I yelled as I felt the pole shift. "... oh fuck..." The pole shifted again before snapping like a twig. "... double fuck..." I began to fall from the tower before flexing my magic only for nothing to happen.

"FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUCK!" I yelled as I fell towards the hard unforgiving ground. When I suddenly felt my entire being being yanked before colliding with a marble floor. "ow..." I wheezed out before getting to a sitting position.

I looked up to see Twilight and the other girls all with strange hair colors and many different things done with them. "The fuck happen to you guys?" I asked as I tilted my head.

"YOU DID THIS YOU-YOU BASTARD!" Rarity yelled as all the girls gasped at Rarity using a curse.

I only tilted my head before looking at Rainbow Dash. "I only hit Rainbow and that was the marker on her face... I didn't do anything else besides what I did at the party." I scratched my head to feel the hat on my head. I pulled it off looking at the old tattered Cowboy hat. "This is yours I presume." I held out the hat to her as she ripped out of my hand.

"I remember Tapping a few people to the ceilings and writing on a few people's faces. Nothing like this." I pointed at Rarity with a smile. "I don't have a death wish."

"But if you didn't do it then who did?" Pinkie asked as I tapped my fist into the center of my hand.

"Oh yea. Discord found me after I put everyone to sleep. We had a small chat." I pointed out with a shrug. "after the whole me trying to kill him we kind of just put everything aside. Our chat was a lot of fun though." I said as The all looked at me confused.

"What did you all talk about?" I thought back on my drunken escapades before nodding.

"Pranks from my world. Stuff you did to your buddies when they are drunk and pass out. Like shaving their heads taping them to doors or walls dying their hair you know small little pranks nothing to serious." I said with a shrug as Twilight whapped me on top of my head.

"What is wrong with you Jon?" Twilight asked as I held my head due to my throbbing headache.

"What the fuck Twilight?" I asked as I continued to hold my head.

"Jon you told the god of chaos how to prank people... YOU GAVE HIM IDEAS!" It dawned on me then that in all honesty... I fucked up big time.

"What else did you tell him?" Rainbow asked as I looked about the walls trying to pinpoint where we were.

"Girls I told him little prank traps and other little things that mean we have to keep moving. Paintball guns, glue and feathers, buckets full of dye and all kinds of other traps are probably planted around the palace..." I got to my feet looking around spotting a small trip wire. "It will most likely be worse around the guard barracks That where I would put a lot of traps... Did he get the princesses?" I asked a little scared because if they thought I did all this.

"JOOOOOOOOON!" A loud voice boomed as I looked behind me to see one pissed off Celestia running after me. My eyes dilated as I let out a panicked yell before running for my life. I hopped the trip line continuing on my way down the halls.

I tried to flex my magic only to feel nothing come forth before twin glints of dark purple flash on my hands. I looked down to see I was wearing gloves that were arching with energy from my magic being dissipated. Dammit Discord you did this on purpose. When I get my hands on your scrawny little neck I am gonna wring it like a dish towel. I continued to run hoping against hope that I could avoid Celestia enough to find Discord and force him to fix all of this.

MY WEDDING WAS IN A FUCKING WEEK GOD DAMMIT I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT!

-Royal Canterlot Gardens-

Discord sat on top of a small chair floating above the gardens watching the chaos erupt from under his perch. "Oh yes this is wonderful." Discord said as another explosion erupted from the rows and rows of hedges.

Discord raised a cup of tea to his lips smiling smugly to himself as he watched Jon dodge and weave Celestia's attacks.

"NOT THE FACE!" Jon yelled as Discord chuckled to himself. His mirth was interrupted by the sounds of wing beats he looked over to see Fluttershy flying to him. He let out a sigh knowing his fun was being cut short.

"Discord you have to stop this." Fluttershy said as she floated next to him. "Jon can't beat Celestia." Discord nodded his head sagely as a top hat and monocle appeared on his person.

"Indeed. I did place a heavy handicap on him after all. No magic and no weapons. I wonder what little scheme he will come up with." Discord said adjusting his monocle.

"But Discord you are the one who did most of the pranking you have to fix what you broke." Fluttershy scolded as Discord seemed to deflate at that little revelation.

"Oh alright Fluttershy I will fix this." Discord snapped his fingers as a wave of magic flowed out through the castle gardens and the castle itself. "Now let's see how Jon get's himself out of this."

I jumped over a hedge running for my life from Celestia who seemed to have only one thought on her mind. Kill me first and ask questions later. All because of her stupid mane being a different color. A wave of magic passed through me as The gloves along my hands faded away into confetti. "Back in business." I said as I dropped down into a slide dodging another bolt of magic before getting back to my feet.

Celestia charged up another bolt of magic as she threw it right at me. I focused as much magic into my hand as possible as my shadow jumped up solidifying around my hand and fore arm. I raised my hand sending a silent prayer to whoever was listening to let this work.

The bolt slammed into my hand as I slid back impacting a marble wall but I continued to hold onto the molten ball of magic. I looked up with a smile as Celestia froze. I wonder if there is anyway to make this spell any stronger or faster... Maybe a magical sling shot. I raised my left hand as a single ring of dark purple appeared. A seal appeared in the center of it as I stared at Celestia. I took a single step forward winding up for my throw. "AND THE PITCH!" I yelled as I threw the spell as hard as I could right through the ring. The spell took off like a rocket but I had missed the shot as it missed Celestia by a few inches but the spell did rocket off into the distance impacting a mountain in the far distance to only explode into a ball of white.

Celestia looked back at the destruction that was caused. The top of the mountain was gone just... gone. "Oh shit I didn't want to hit you with that... glad I missed." I said letting out a low whistle. Celestia looked back at me and I could tell even she was more pale than usual. "Look now that I have your attention." I said as I dismissed the circle as I stepped forward. "I did not dye your mane or fuck with anyone like that. The worst I would have done is probs strip you naked and tape you to a tree in the gardens with all kinds of nasty things written all over your body. I don't fuck with the hair because that shit takes to much money to do and to much to fix." I stopped before her letting out a sigh. "Plus I don't want to die before my wedding so kindly stop trying to kill the wrong guy."

I gave her a smile before pointing up. "Discord is up there. You can go fuck him up." I walked past Celestia with a smile on my face. "Have fun Tia." I said as I heard the tell tale signs of a take off.

"JON WHY!" I heard Discord yell as I smiled widely disappearing. I wasn't gonna get involved with that little spat I had better things to do. Not to mention the wedding still needed a few more little details finished. I should probably get on that.

Author's Note

I said soon and I meant it.