Chapters RT Ep.6-10: The Rise of Golus
The Construction!! Golus Forms!!
Previously on the Review Team...
One mind screw. That is all.
Z-Squared looked outside his house and sighed.
"Okay. Rant...begin." He humored himself. "Is this what these characters have been reduced to? Sir Cinemacus's personal lackeys? I mean, getting together to watch a movie is fine, but as a full-time job of this sort? Sheesh."
He started to pace. "I mean, there was that one Justin Bieber-style monster, but that was out of annoyance. Are we nothing but a stock Justice League now? Sure, that would spice things up, but...ugh. What the hell am I even doing?" He got out a Sobe drink and chugged the whole thing down. "Never gets old."
"Hey," he heard a feminine voice. That, of course, belonging to Marceline.
Over time, the 2 have become good acquaintances. Mainly because they harbored a certain boredom with the situation at hand (Marceline considered that run-in with Satan a complete embarrassment).
"Oh, didn't see ya' there, Marce." Z-Squared replied back.
"It's Marceline, dummy." she lightly groaned. The nick-name could have been worse. It could have been Marcy or something like.
"So, what brings you here?" Z-Squared finally asked.
"I don't know. Just bored. You?" she replied.
"Well, you're answer is as good as mine. I'm bored out of my ass right now and frankly, since last week, I should be happy. I mean, GOD! This whole reviewing thing feels kinda pointless, doesn't it?" He said. "I've lost count of how many times I've fallen asleep in that theater. And most of it is high art!"
Marceline just shrugged. "Well, the pay is good, I'll give it that." she replied.
"Actually, I really can't argue with that." Z-Squared realized. An awkward silence took hold. "So....what's pixie killing like?" Z-Squared asked.
Something of a smile came on Marceline's face. "I gotta tell ya. Best. Feeling. Ever. Sure, people call it pure evil, but the little glob-knockers have it coming. They're annoying as the next jerk from what remains of that ancient location. I think dad called it New Jersey or something."
"First of all, not to sound like a psychopath, but that does sound kinda fun." Z-Squared ignored the mental screaming inside of his head. "Second, does that last bit about New Jersey mean Jersey Shore hasn't been truly cancelled? In both our worlds, that is." He almost sounded fearful at that last sentence.
"Don't even get me started." Marceline scoffed.
Z-Squared shook his head. "Okay! I'm gonna rid myself of that mental image! Anyway, subject change. Is there any kind of music that isn't rock that you like? I mean, I love that genre, but still."
Marceline though for a moment. "Nah. That orchestra stuff can get really boring and techno I guess is okay, but not by much. I haven't really divulged in the other trends."
Z-Squared chuckled. "Well, if you ever enter my world, stay away from Miley Cyrus music videos for as long as you can! You already heard what Justin Bieber can do, now just wait 'till you see what see what's cooked up in recent years!"
"Alright. Lay it on me." Marceline replied.
BREET! BREET! BREET!
Z-Squared knew that noise. It was an alarm made by Sir to call upon one of his choosing. No-one else was around, so he took it upon himself.
"Well, crap. Brother's calling. See ya, Marce!" Z-Squared bolted to the next few rooms.
Marceline was a little off put by that event, but she immediately went back to just looking out into space. Literally. The windows could allow her to see the cosmos.
"Enjoying the view?" Asked Twilight, who had walked in. "I'll admit. It's a beautiful sight. To be so close to the stars..."
"Yeah. And they don't burn you to death." The vampire agreed.
"I heard you talking with Z-Squared." The unicorn continued. "I have to admit. I feel bad for him. He's like us, being forced into this predicament. Only this time, it's his own brother that did it."
"If you ask me, he's a bit of a weeny, but, compared to that lunkhead Cinemacus, he's actually kinda cool." She replied. "I can only imagine what it's like to live with the...'boss'." She used finger quotes on that last word.
"They're family. They'll work out their issues." Twilight optimistically said.
Meanwhile in the teleporter room...
Z-Squared arrived to see a very distressed Sir looming over the controls.
"Okay, bro." Z-Squared approached him. "What's the problem?"
"Terrible news." Sir grieved. "We have run out of New York's famous pizza bagels."
Z-Squared just looked dumbfounded. "Really?" he just said. "That's the big crisis? We ran out of your favorite snack-foods? You're only supposed to press the emergency button when there's an, I don't know, actual emergency."
Sir then turned to him. "Well, I am sure that teleporting to the nearest store there will not be a problem. After all, you do seem fit for these types." He then started up the teleporter. "And it IS a crisis! Nothing can beat the simplicity and taste of a pizza bagel!"
Z-Squared just accepted the task. A few bucks spent later, he would be back and possibly play some tunes on his I-pod to pass the time. "Alright, but if I get ganged up by a bunch of crazed cult-members, guess who I have to complain to."
Sir simply shook his head at his brother's snarky attitude. "One of these days." He said to himself.
BZIT!
A few moments later...
Z-Squared walked out of the shop and decided to give Sir a call. The streets were booming with commotion at the time and the city was alive as ever. He could listen to all the sounds of the city...
BEEP BEEP!
"Annnnd there marks another reason I'm sort of glad I don't get out much." Z-Squared said to himself. "I can't imagine renting a room here."
Suddenly, there was a loud rumbling that turned a few heads. It was heard throughout most of the city. The rumbling then came again, only louder...
...and louder...
...and LOUDER...
...AND-
THOOM!
Everyone screamed in surprise and panic as a purple orb shot out from under the streets, sending some cars flying a few inches away. The police nearby sprung into action at what they saw. It was glowing weakly and it seemed to struggle to stay up. The sight was almost pitiful.
"Holy mother of MacArthur!" Z-Squared shouted. "I think it's time I made my exit!"
Silence, or lack thereof thanks to the people and machines, followed.
"Or..." He was still a bit tense. "Maybe not."
Suddenly, the orb began to glow brighter and emit a low humming noise. It got louder as the orb got brighter and suddenly, pieces of rubble and other machinery started to move a little off the ground. Everyone looked in amazement as the event unfolded. The police that had arrived were still armed.
The orb than seemed to dissipate into nothing but purple mist. It was quite an odd and brief experience.
"Impressive light show, but I won't stick around for the after-party." Z-Squared said.
No one could prepare him or anyone else, really, for what was to happen next.
The rubble, a few cars and trucks, and even parts of buildings started to fly violently into the air, hitting a few people. Everyone immediately backed away at the spectacle taking place before them.
The pieces continued to form and it seemed to be in the shape of a man, but with purple energy connecting the pieces. A bus and a truck formed its feet, rubble formed most of the body parts, a giant concrete boulder formed its left hand. Then, every sharp piece you could imagine (be it glass, sharp rubble, road signs, dog collars, etc.) became its right hand, which looked more like a sword than a hand. Pieces of road filled the area where the chest was. Finally, a taxi, supported by other pieces of rubble, attached to what appeared to be where the head belonged.
The headlights of the taxi turned on, as if the thing was opening its eyes for the first time. It was the size of a medium sized building. Almost the size of a kaiju! It looked around for a moment before taking its first step in front of the terrified onlookers.
The creature, a sort of Golem, walked through the streets, crushing all that stood in its way in just 4 steps before it stopped. Many ran for dear life, but most didn't make it.
"What in holy Hell is that?!" Z-Squared shouted. "I've seen some weirdness in my life before, but...well, it still doesn't come close to meeting the Devil."
The Golem, however, flashed its headlight eyes onto the Meta-Human and seemed to growl.
"Uh...I come in peace?" Z-Squared said weakly. "I take it you do too?" All he got was an even lower growl. "Guess not. Hold on a second." He got out his communicator device as the beast lumbered towards him. He was running for his life now.
"BRO! GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Z-Squared screamed into the device.
"Brother, do not yell. Did you get-"
"YES! YES, I FREAKING DID! NOW WILL YOU PLEASE BEAM ME BACK UP BEFORE WHATEVER THE HELL IS CHASING ME DOES ME IN!?" He interrupted. The beast raised its left fist, which was poised to strike Z-Squared. Luckily, he dodged just in time, albiet getting clouded in dust and small debris soon afterward.
He then caught a glimpse of something. It was a family try to get into their car. The father was searching frantically for his keys as he and his wife's son and daughter screamed at the spectacle. The giant was getting closer to stomping them flat as it searched for Z-Squared.
"Awww...damn by chronic hero syndrome." He said to himself before talking to the device again. "Sir, cancel that for a minute. I've got to do something."
"Whatever do you mean, brother?" Sir asked.
Before he could continue, Z-Squared leaped to where the father was. He got out his sword.
"Here. Let me handle this. Good effort, though." He said in front of the mystified couple before slashing the car door off. "I'm pretty sure your insurance can handle that."
The siblings got out of the car and into their parent's arms. Before anything else could be said, the monster's foot was right above them now. It came down so fast...
...but Z-Squared's sword held it up. "GO! RUN! GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HERE AS POSSIBLE!" He cried out to the innocents. They did as they were told. "OKAY, SIR! Do it now!"
BZIT!
The fate of New York now lies in the game of fate. And any man could tell you in some way that a game like that is not a sane one.
Meanwhile in the Headquarters...
"TURN ON THE T.V!" Z-Squared shouted to his brother. He was still hysterical until Sir slapped him. "Thanks, bro."
"Brother, what was that all about? You sound as if you nearly died." Sir said.
Z-Squared face palmed. "Just call everyone in. I think they'd might be interested in this."
Everyone soon marched in and they were quite surprised by what they saw. The Golem was tearing a path of devastation through the city, punching at buildings and stomping a nearby highway.
"Well, I never thought I'd see something like this again." Godzilla remarked.
"What sort of creature is that? I've never seen it before." Twilight said.
"Geez. What's that thing's problem?" Finn remarked.
"Oh, look. Wanton destruction. Sweet!" Marceline said. This earned a harsh glare from Sir. "What? I'm just making the most of the situation."
"Really? Watching innocent people die is how you get your kicks!?" Basil inquired. Marceline just rolled her eyes. These humans just weren't on her priority list.
"Those poor people." Fluttershy said, with tears on her eyes.
"We should do something!" Mothra said.
"I say we should leave these fleshings to their own misery." Megatron scoffed.
"When I said we needed a little chaos in our lives, I didn't mean mindless destruction. Where's the fun in that?" Discord inquired while sipping a silly straw out of a coke bottle. Literally.
"Hmmm...for some reason, I cannot just watch and see the city be destroyed." Mr. Freeze remarked. "I feel as if I am drawn to such a disaster."
Discord laughed. "Yeah, whatever Hamlet. Why don't you go there yourself?" This earned a growl from Freeze.
Sir then turned to the group and said "I suggest we listen to what Mothra had just said, and mobilize against this beast. Something about it feels like traces of the great evil I have spoken of."
Everyone just looked at each other. Should they go up against this beast and save all the people or should they just kick back and relax.
Mothra, Fluttershy, Basil, Twilight, and Finn were the first of the team to step forward in agreement that something had to be done for obvious reasons. Discord and Marceline just shrugged and joined in on the action. Mr. Freeze and Godzilla didn't see why not and joined as well. Megatron was the only one who seemed reluctant to join.
"The day I willingly help fleshlings is the day I strap an Autobot symbol to my chest." He muttered.
Sir approached him. "Look. Imagine the praise you will receive for defeating such a titan. Or is this creature simply too much for you?"
Megatron's eyes widened in anger and immediately, he stepped forward. "Fine. You win. But do not expect any acts of so called 'heroism'."
"You're like a constant grump, you know that?" Finn said to Megatron, who just sighed.
"Now, I will send you with Z-Squared into the designated area. I will arrive shortly after grabbing my sword." With that, the team and Z-Squared were sent right into the area of destruction.
BZIT!
"Whew! They're gone!" Sir said to himself. "Now, off to watch reruns of The Twilight Zone while feasting upon my pizza bagels!"
Meanwhile in New York...
The moment they arrived there, they were greeted by a seemingly barren wasteland. Some buildings were devastated, the streets were looking really broken up/blood-stained, and a faint rumbling could be heard.
"Wow. This place is totaled." Godzilla stated.
"Forget about the city. Where's the-" Basil was soon interrupted...
...by the titan of a construct that burst through a nearby building. Everybody looked at the thing with awe as it turned its head towards the team. It seemed confused as to where these creatures in front of it came from as it looked at them like a child would.
"HI!" Discord said. "Hello! We are here to DESTROY you! You got that, junior?"
The creature, however, just seemed to hug itself. Suddenly, purple lighting began to surge through its body.
"Open fire!" Mr. Freeze shouted. "Let's ICE this monster!"
He and Megatron fired their weapons, but their blasts were small compared to what they were up against. Spreading its arms, the beast unleashed a surge of energy that sent 3 giant balls of lighting in 3 very different, very far directions. The city itself was being engulfed in a purple lightning dome. The team and the city was trapped.
Z-Squared felt his phone short circuit.
"We aren't going home, aren't we?" Finn said grimly.
"EVERYBODY GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Twilight shouted as the Golem appeared to fall down on its chest. With a loud THUD, the beast fell. Its head was staring at the team, but the lights were off.
"It seems whatever it did caused the creature to run out of energy." Mothra remarked.
"I hope he's okay." Fluttershy said, patting the taxi on the head. The lights flickered a bit. "He's alive!"
"Well, hurry and dismantle him!" Godzilla shouted. "I'm ready to smash something right now, anyway."
"Allow me to join. We must make this quick." Megatron unsheathed his blade.
"Hold on!" Fluttershy got in front of the head. "Maybe he's just alone and scared. He just came to life, after all."
"We have a job to do." Z-Squared said sypathetically. "Besides, most of New York just got leveled."
"We'd better step it up." Marceline said. "This place just says 'depressing' all over it. And not the good kind of depressing." Something about this place was also giving her certain...flashbacks.
"Sorry about this, honey." Basil said. "But, at the very least, could we search through him as to how to find out how to get out of here?"
"Give him a chance to recover." Fluttershy pleaded. "He can't do much now, anyway."
Suddenly, the lights of the head went on, spooking the team. The giant rose up rather quickly and looked down on the nearest team member: Discord (he was on a makeshift hammock trying to slack off on the job).
"FIST!" Z-Squared warned everyone as the Golem rose its concrete fist up in the air. As soon as everyone got out of the way, Discord woke up.
"Hey, guys. What did I-" SLAM! The fist slammed on top of the chaos spirit.
When the fist rose up, Discord was squashed flat on the front, but he was alive. "Don't worry, folks. I'm-" SLAM! The Golem smashed his fist onto the ground again. "Ah, c'mon! Nothing can keep me do-" SLAM! "I could do this all d-" SLAM!
"Hurt and scared, huh?" Godzilla looked at Fluttershy. "He seems more mad, if anything."
"Now, it's fight time!" Finn got out his sword.
In the midst of the Golem's futile smashing, Megatron transformed, Mothra flew up, and Mr. Freeze unveiled his jetpack-like wings (remember THAT from the movie?). The monster's attention turned to its assailants, who kept blasting him to no end. Godzilla also blasted his thermonuclear breath at the legs and Twilight used her magic to do the same thing. Basil was holding Finn and Marceline up while Z-Squared rode on him. The human and the vampire landed on the creature's shoulder and they started to hack away at the shrapnel arm. Fluttershy just stuck to flying with Mothra and warning her of the Golem's arms, which were trying in vain to kill its attackers.
It seemed like this would be an easy victory. Discord even pulled himself together and, with the snap of his fingers, an anvil smashed on the creature's head. The Golem then seemed to stop attacking, even if its body was crumbling around it. The remaining bits seemed to surge with purple lightning. It managed to shock Marceline and Finn off but luckily, they were caught by Basil.
"Is that all you got?" Discord mocked, shacking his rear. The beast seemed to growl in anger. The lights on his head suddenly glowed purple and they shot 2 very large lightning bolts.
Discord zig-zaged his body to avoid them but they followed him wherever he went. Thus, he was zapped and he started shrieking in pain. Imobilized, Discord was brought down by the creature's concrete fist.
"DISCORD!" Fluttershy flew off Mothra to help the downed chaos spirit, but not before the Golem swung its shrapnel arm, missing Fluttershy, but sending pieces of shredded metal through Mr. Freeze's wings. He went down hard, of course, before he could crack another ice pun. Fluttershy still managed to get Discord, but she flew over to the others nonetheless.
"MEGATRON TRANSFORM!" The Decepticon shouted as he landed on the Golem's fist.
As he kept pounding at the rubble, he felt a jolt of pain. The lightning began to surge into the fist and it tossed Megatron up and, like a baseball bat, hit the warlord all the way through a mound of destroyed cars.
Godzilla gave a whistle and Basil and Z-Squared heard it. "Hey, Basil!" Godzilla shouted. "Give me a lift! I'm gonna knock that guy right into next week." While this was happening, Twilight and Finn were checking on the downed bodies of Mr. Freeze and Discord, which were being tended to by Fluttershy to the best of her effort.
Basil lifted Godzilla up, and the atomic lizard fired away along with the dragon at the center of the beast. The Golem seemed to wince in pain before firing its eye bolts at them, frying them, and sending them down to the ground.
Z-Squared had managed to jump off the dragon and land on Mothra. "Jesus, s&#* just got real!" Z-Squared remarked.
Mothra continued her fight against the beast, but once again, the shrapnel arm was swung. Z-Squared managed to maneuver Mothra out of the way, but a stray piece lodged into her wing. This would just cause minimal pain, but the piece began to surge with purple lightning and she was fried like a bug on a bugzapper. Z-Squared was also shocked and he also went down alongside her.
The Golem looked at the extremely hurt bodies of the team. It had been more than a match for them all.
"Wait! Aren't we forgetting someone?" Twilight said when some members started to wake up.
"You mean Sir?" Godzilla said, feeling weakened. "Well, if we ever get back, I'LL KILL HIM!"
RUMBLE! RUMBLE!
The Golem looked around, having not made that noise. As it turned out, Marceline (the missing member Twilight was referring to) had gone into the sewers.
The reason for that was made clear when a bunch of tentacles erupted from the ground, startling everybody.
Marceline had turned into her giant tentacle monster form and proceeded to rip and tear at the Golem.
"That's right! Rip him apart!" said an extremely pained Discord.
"SEND IT TO THE PITS!" Megatron shouted.
The beast, no-matter how many times it attempted to slash and punch, was being broken apart piece by piece. Only the torso, the head, and its shrapnel arm were above the mass of tentacles after a few minutes.
Suddenly, the beast looked to the sky and, from the forcefield, many bolts of purple lightning descended onto its shrapnel arm, which was raised to the sky. Marceline was interrupted from her destruction-fest by the magical display. The arm surged with energy and, in a bizarre twist of events, the beast seemed to try to jump into the air, and it succeeded in disconnecting its body from what remained of its legs. The beast was a few feet in the air before it descended down....
...and struck Marceline with its lightning induced arm, causing the transformed vampire queen to scream in fury and pain. The mass of tentacles dissipated as electricity flowed through them. Marceline's unconscious body was left in the blackened mass.
"Marce! Are you aright?" Finn said as he and Z-Squared rushed over to her. She started to wake up.
"Ugh. Where's that stupid hunk of rock?" she groaned.
The Golem appeared immobile. Like it did with the forcefield, it must have used up a lot of energy. Everyone started to try and regroup.
Godzilla, Marceline, Mothra, Fluttershy, Basil, Megatron, Mr. Freeze, and Discord were gravely injured but alive. Z-Squared, Finn, and Twilight were wondering what was the best move to make against the beast.
"Well, to our credit, we lasted longer against him than our last fight with Satan. Huh, that's a record." Z-Squared said.
"You're not making it any better." Mr. Freeze replied.
"Wait! Look at it right now!" Twilight directed everyone to look at the being. They now could get a clear look at what was it doing to get more power. The purple energy orb could just barely be made out in the chest and it was siphoning pieces of rubble to re-form the construct.
"I think I get it!" Basil said.
"I do too!" Mothra said. "We should aim for the chest!"
"That's what I tried to do!" Megatron interrupted. "That one piece, for some reason, is impermeable!"
"Maybe we should focus all our weapons to that one spot while there's still time!" Z-Squared said.
They all prepared to attack with what little energy they had, but they suddenly realized that the beast had already reformed.
It was starting to hug itself again.
"QUICK!" Twilight shouted. "SHOOT THE CHEST BEFORE-"
THOOM!
She was interrupted as the beast projected a small mini-wall of kinetic energy big enough for the whole team to get hit. It flew everyone back really fast to one of the walls of the force-field. The moment they hit it at the same time (convenient, much?) is the moment where they were suddenly trapped in an energy prism that formed due to the shockwave (don't ask. This Golem just has a few tricks up its sleeve. Or lack thereof).
Now the team was really trapped. They, of course, were knocked out by the sudden impact and they lied unconscious in the makeshift prison.
The Golem now seemed completely lifeless. It was only recovering, but it would be a long time before it rose again after using up so much energy. Before setting down, it cast a meaningful glance at the butter-yellow pegasus in its prison. Something about the way she protected it seemed...off.
Bring on the wreckoning. (PUN!)
Meanwhile in the Headquarters,
"Hello? HELLO? BLAST! NOT AGAIN!" Sir slammed down his communication device. "That's the 27th time I tried to call them. They cannot truly be dead! I only ignored them for...twenty...thirty...maybe an hour...Nevermind! I'm getting a visual! There has to be a reason I lost communications with them!"
He turned on the television to see if at least he would get an explanation. When he saw what the cameras were capturing, it all made sense.
"No. My te-no. My FRIENDS are trapped there with a slumbering giant. How could I have been so foolish. I should have forgot about the sword and the pizza bagels...maybe...and just joined them. At least I would have tried to help." Sir put a hand on his shoulder.
He looked despairingly over the windows and looked over the cosmos. "What shall I do?"
"Perhaps 'Plan OHGODWHYDIDITHINKOFTHISTOBEGINWITH'?" said a high pitched voice.
To Be Continued...
Author's Note
(Just to let you know, I've got nothing against New Jersey. Nothing personal, anyway.)
Notable Music:
Z-Squared and Marceline conversation-Mii Channel Theme
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RT Ep.6-10: The Rise of Golus
Screamer-Sub!! The Decepticon Seeker Comes!!!
Previously on the Review Team,
Golus, as the beast has been dubbed by many American news reporters, has risen and wreaked indescribable amounts of havoc across New York City. The Review Team was helpless to stop it and they, along with all of New York, have been imprisoned. Sir feels anguish inside of him (yet no sense of irony) until...
"Plan what?" Sir turned to see where the voice was coming from. "Oh, it is you, Tafeli."
Tafeli was Sir's intergalactic paper boy/mailman. He was a small, floating, green eye with 7 tentacles around him. He frequently faxed Sir's plans to him because he was too cheap to buy a printer (don't ask). However, he was mostly regarded as a mailman. After all, that was his favorite profession.
"You know? That plan you promised never to do again unless under extreme circumstances?" Tafeli said in his usual piped up voice.
"No. The last time I used that plan was the time I unleashed 3 cosmic warlords unto my domain. I shall never allow that to happen again." Sir turned his back.
"C'mon! The randomizer will work in your favor this time around!" Tafeli bounced up and down while saying this. "You might even get that old guy you asked to do some work."
The basic plan was that Sir would summon 3 random people to help him in times of crisis but, as he said, it didn't work out so well. At the moment, only one of the buttons on the thing was beeping. Sir could only summon one person.
"Well," Sir said with some hesitation. "I suppose it is either this or the destruction of one of America's cities." With that, he pressed the button. Tafeli was shaking with excitement.
BZIT!
In that instant, a magic carpet carrying a VERY elderly bearded man wearing purple robes came in. He appeared to be in a hurry.
"Your majesty. Ganon and his minions have seized the island of-"
"Greetings, Gwonam the Wizard." Sir exclaimed.
"...Oh, bother. Not again." The wizard groaned before getting off the carpet. "What is it this time?"
"I need you to bring me the most powerful warriors you can find." Sir stated. "The Earth here is in great danger and I have tasked YOU with finding them."
"Why me?" Gwonam crossed his arms. "The last time we met, you demonstrated that you could travel across the realms of space and time with no problem."
"Because somebody needs to keep an eye out for whatever dangers might rise elsewhere." Sir fibbed. "Still, I need you to be as random as possible. I need only one now."
"I never understood you then and I'm very sure I won't understand now." The wizard sighed. "Very well. HERE is the map!" Into his hands popped an entire map of the universes. "Where do you wish to send me? And pay me in actual rupees this time."
"Did I not do that last time?" Sir asked.
"These things you call 'Ring-Pops' do NOT count." Gwonam reprimanded. "Now, choose. I don't have long left in this life anyway."
"This is gonna be a long week, isn't it?" Tafeli sighed. "So...am I gonna get a signature on some of these packages yet?"
Earlier on the Nemesis...
"Hey, Earl?" A large imposing robot asked another one of its kind. "Where do you suppose Megatron went off to?"
"Probably fooling around some other planet without us." Earl responded. "You know? Pimping all the energon he can find."
"I think he's actually in trouble!" Another robot exclaimed. "He's never this late! I blame it on that shady job he picked up! Sure, the energon is nice, but at what cost?"
"Frag off, Steve." Earl growled. "No-one cares about your opinion."
The Vehicons and Eradicons were indeed starting to grow impatient. Their leader couldn't have been that late thanks to that...odd sort of job he picked up.
While Airachnid could care less, Breakdown, Knockout, Predaking, Dreadwing, Soundwave, and even Starscream were starting to get uncomfortable. Yes, even Starscream.
'Oh, where is that old fool?' Starscream thought to himself as he paced the halls. 'I could take position as leader, but what if he is merely just a tad late? Oh, I wouldn't want to face his wrath once again!' .
A typical day for the Decepticon Seeker. Plot, worry, plot some more, whine, get face smashed in, repeat. Now, it was getting a bit unorthodox.
'It's probably that insipid knight that Megatron speaks about.' he thought with an angry frown on his face. 'If it weren't for him, we would be closer to destroying the Autobots by actually getting to-"
BZIT!
Gwonam flew in on his carpet, right in front of the surprised Seeker, who got out his blasters.
"In the Pit's name, what's happening?!" Starscream shouted.
"Do not fear! I am the one who will help you with finding your master!" The wizard spoke. "Golus and his power has seized the city of New York!"
"....What?" Now, the Decepticon was just confused. "Speak more clearly, unless you want to be reduced to nothing but atoms!"
The wizards sighed and got out a phone. "Sir, he's not cooperating."
"Give me a minute." The knight's voice responded.
BZIT!
Meanwhile in the Headquarters...
"WHAT?! Where am I?!" Starscream shouted as he looked around him. He was now in some kind of high-tech castle in space. "Is this your domain, old organic?!"
"If it were, I wouldn't be covered in debt." Gwonam said. "And I have connections to the king, for Master Hand's sake!"
"I assure you. I mean no harm." Sir floated to the surprised Decepticon. He then shrunk him and everyone was okay with this. Just like old times... "First things first." He turned to Gwonam. "No offense, but I would have picked Soundwave. Not the schemer."
"Well, excuse me if I know next to nothing about what a 'Decepticon' is!" Gwonam huffed. "Sounds like a deformed Moblin."
"YOU! Megatron spoke of you once!" Starscream finger-pointed at Sir angrily before he set his blasters to destroy. "You have 10 seconds to answer this question: why did you have the elderly one bring me to your wretched domain?!"
Sir facepalmed. 'I knew this was going to be difficult.' he thought. "My demands are simple, my good sir. It involves your master."
Starscream was still suspicious of this...strange example of a human. "Continue."
"Follow me." Sir motioned.
The 3 soon got to the giant television monitor and there they saw New York still in shambles and still trapped by the now-dormant Golus.
"Hmmm." Starscream smirked. "How amusing. All that destruction to humankind and you expect me to be their savior? Wishful thinking indeed."
"Destiny calls upon the most unlikely of saviors, sometimes." Gwonam held up his finger.
Sir, who was not amused at that remark, zoomed in to the trapped team. Starscream's expression changed considerably when he saw Megatron fruitlessly banging on the walls of the prism prison.
"MASTER! NO!" Starscream shouted. "Is this what you mean to show me? My master's fate? How shall I free him?!"
"I am very glad you are accepting this task." Sir said. "You shall free your master. But first, you must find one of the 3 sources of the force-field. My computer has located one source deep in the Pacific Ocean."
"How am I, a Seeker, supposed to dive into the sea without proper preparations?" Starscream inquired.
"The wonders of technology will help you in your quest! As long as Sir doesn't make anything break!" Gwonam help up his hands.
'This is embarrassing!' Starscream thought to himself. 'Here I am. Second-in-Command Starscream at the mercy of these two bufoons. It's almost as if the universe WANTS my head on a pike.'
"I shall provide you with a machine I have spent some time working on." Sir motioned to a sort of garage like area. "I have not given it a name, but now that you are here, I shall call it..."
The door opened, revealing a large diving bell-like object. "...the Screamer-Sub!"
"Go!" Gwonam told the Seeker. "With many blessings!"
"This is going to be a long orbital cycle." Starscream sighed.
Somewhere on a pipe above them, something was watching. The only hint of its existence was a cold glint in the eyes and the shining talons that held onto the structure.
Meanwhile in the Pacific Ocean...
It was a stormy day. The waves were unforgiving and the waters were restless. No ships were around.
Suddenly, a portal appeared above the waves. Out came a large sub that fell into the seas like a rock. The thing was being beaten by the waves that it began to toss and turn.
"Sir! Where are the controls for this thing?!" Starsceam said while panicking. "Much as I hate to admit it, I'm not used to tight places! Or instability! Or both at the same time, why not?!"
"Look in front of you." Sir said via radio.
Starscream looked at where the controls would be and he shook his head in bewilderment. The buttons were joined by a title stating "Know your animal sounds!" and each button had a picture of an animal with words like "Forward", "Back", and so forth scrawled on them.
Basically, something like a Spin N' Say toy.
"IS THIS SOME KIND OF-oh, it's not like I have any choice." He pressed the Cow button, which gave off a "MOO!" noise and the sub went forward into the water.
Starscream went from there and descended even further.
"You know, your planet's inhabitants never cease to disgust me." Starscream pointed out to Sir as he viewed some sharks, an octopus, and a frog-fish. "I mean, that thing that humans call an 'angel shark' would make a Sharkticon cry out in disgust!"
"Enough of your commentary." Sir inquired. "You are nearing the cave."
"All you can think of is the quest!" Gwonam added.
"Actually, a lot of things are on my mind." The Seeker clenched his fists. "Like this. How long does it take for my patience to run out?!"
"Zero." Sir replied. The Decepticon just groaned.
Starscream looked ahead and indeed, he was heading into a large cave, where the orb would no doubt be held.
As the Decepticon went further in, the place was getting darker.
And darker...
And darker...
Until there was nothing but complete blackness.
"Ugh. Where's the light on this thing?" Starsceam then pressed the Chicken button...
...only to reveal a monstrous beak in front of him. Screaming comically, he pressed the sheep button and moved back to see what he had just ran into.
What he saw would make any sailor scream in fear. It was a Colossal squid, but much bigger than the last one recorded. It had 8 tentacles, 2 of which were laced with large spikes. All the suckers had teeth on them. The strange part, though, was that the creature was glowing luminescent pink all around with some patches of bright green.
The creature started to advance on the sub, but Starscream managed to retreat back into the open water. However, the creature followed in hot pursuit. He kept getting closer and closer to the surface until he jettisoned out and pressed the bird button soon afterward. Now, it was floating above the sea, away from the beast.
Or at least, that's what it would seem like. Before Starscream could catch his breath, tentacles erupted from the water, thrashing about as the beast screeched in fury.
"SIR! WHAT EXACTLY AM I DEALING WITH?!" Starscream screamed into the radio as he dodged an incoming tentacle.
"That would be Scylass. A small legend tossed around these days-"
"HOW COULD YOU BE SO CALM IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS?!" When Starscream screamed that, one of the spiked tentacles nearly hit his sub.
Two of the tentacles did strike it and it spun out of control until it was grasped by the massive appendages. The beak had risen above the churning deep and it opened wide, ready to snack on the submersible.
Starscream readied his blasters. He could almost hear the thing's beak bubbling with water and anticipation.
"Well...another go sounds good, right?" He said to himself.
BZIT!
ZOOM!
Something that couldn't' be seen by human eyes whipped past and sliced holes through the tentacles. Screeching in pain, Scylass let go of the sub and it floated back up into the air.
"Sir, did you send backup?" The Seeker asked in relief.
"No...I didn't. Who else is with you? Get you and I a visual on the background!" Sir said.
"Another twist of fate! This actually could be fun." Gwonam mused.
The knight had to cover his mouth to stifle the gasp was almost came out when he saw who was perched on the top of the battered sub. Starscream gave a incredulous look.
It was a Harpy Eagle, but this one looked a bit stocky for its species. It had a purple scarf wrapped around its neck, one that ended in tatters. Its expression was that of ice and focus. No trace of distraction was on its face. All it was focused on was the squid.
"FOFO?!" Sir cried out. "How did she get in the portal machine?!"
"Is that its name?" Starscream asked. "What exactly does it want?"
"That, my good friend, is a lady!" Sir reprimanded. "She's my pet Harpy Eagle. Highly trained in the art of killing. Brother got her from a witch doctor. He had to take care of her from that day. Now, tell her to come home to daddy!"
"You said the one known as Z-Squared took care of her." Gwonam said. "She will not respond to you."
Indeed, she didn't. The tentacles rose again, with far more fury this time. She just flew out into the sky and spun around until she was like a bullet in midair. The tentacles were utterly decimated as they were turned into swiss cheese.
"I should be on my way now." Starscream said before sinking beneath the waves, away from the fight.
A few agonizingly long minutes later, the Screamer Sub burst out of a wall into a chasm, containing the orb.
"Oh, finally. That was easier than I thought. Now, how do I-"
Before Starscream could finish, Scylass burst out as well and was ready to tear the sub a new one. Her tentacles looked pretty beat up, but she managed to retreat nonetheless. Away from that infernal Eagle, that is.
The Seeker looked frantically around for a button that would spell doom for the creature. He noticed the pig button and out came a large boxing glove that knocked back the creature a few feet away.
Starscream smirked. "Now, we shall play by MY rules."
He continued to pummel the creature until it got the upper hand (or tentacle, if I may.) and ripped off the glove, crushing in in its grasp.
"SLAG-SUCKING PIT SPAWN!" Starscream swore. He looked at the orb. "It's time to carve the way for my master's return!" Before he could think of a button to press, the beast was heading towards him.
Thinking fast, the Seeker pressed the donkey button, moving left and out of the way of the enraged monster.
Suddenly, the tentacles wrapped around the orb. Apparently, Scyalass took the bright colors of the orb as a threat and she proceeded to crush it, despite the electric flow going through her tentacles.
Starscream then noticed a rat button and, without a moments hesitation, he pressed it. After it went "squeak", the sub shot out a missile titled 'Big Bertha'.
"This should be interesting." He said to himself.
What followed was an explosion that sent Scylass into a wall of rock, knocking her out. It also destroyed the orb and sent the Screamer Sub flying. Fofo had to dodge the debris as she watched the sub lose altitude.
It soon landed on an abandoned and rocky coastline. The impact broke the sub and knocked Starscream out. His task had been completed. The Harpy Eagle landed next to him and perched on his head. Her agenda, whatever it was, would be fulfilled.
Meanwhile in the Headquaters...
"When he wakes up, I shall adorn him with such a medal." Sir commented. He knew Starscream would wake up and Sir would surely reward him. "Still. I must say. The nerve of Z-Squared's pet. I'll be damned if the other 2 make it to where she is. They're simply not ready for missions like this."
"Bravery exists within us all! Even in the darkest of times." Gwonam said.
"By the way, we need two more warriors. I do believe I know the ones." Sir gave him a slip of paper with the names.
The wizard's face was now that of resignation. "You despise me...don't you?"
"Squadalam!" Sir booted him away to make him start his job early. "You're off!"
To Be Continued...
Author's Note
Notable Music:
Tafeli-Overworld from Super Mario Bros. 2
View Online
RT Ep.6-10: The Rise of Golus
Snowy Ruckus!! The Heroes and the Ice Bear!!!
Previously on the Review Team,
Meta-Ridley, Squidward, Starscream, Gwonam, and a few super-powered pets. Who would have guessed? After the second orb had been destroyed by Cerberus (the PUG, keep in mind), the trio (courtesy of Meta-Ridley) crashed somewhere in the Himalayas. Squidward is the only one not pinned down by plane rubble or knocked out. Now, how long until he cracks?
As Squidward exited the burning wreck, he looked around him. He gasped when he realized he was many feet above the Earth and that the snow was just so...refreshing since that last trip to the desert. Still, it was cold. Although, the upcoming temper tantrum he was about to throw might have helped heat things up.
"Stupid, stupid, STUPID LIZARD!" Squidward kicked a piece of wreckage with his foot-tentacle before wincing in pain. "If it weren't for HIM, this whole mess would be over with! In fact, this whole trip has lasted for only a few hours and already I want out!"
"I'll admit. This way to our destination was the most unorthodox I ever had to endure." Gwonam's voice was now apparent, as he pulled himself out of the wreck.
"Listen, Genie-"
"Wizard."
"Whatever." Squidward snorted. "I never asked for this! I just want a quiet life, that's all! A nice house, a job as a musical extraordinaire, a sweet life with a girlfriend, and NO SPONGES OR STARFISHES TO RUIN IT ALL! Instead, I'm nothing more than life's punching bag! A punch-line. A chew-toy." He sat down on a random rock in a huff. "The point is...can my life be any more dreary?"
"Tentacles...you don't know the first thing about dreary." Gwonam said with a dangerous tone.
"At least you can wish away your troubles." The squid said cynically.
"Try making the fact that your game BOMBED vanish." Gwonam glared at him.
"So?" Squidward raised an eyebrow.
"As you should know, I hail from a video game universe." Gwonam said, trying to speak softly. "When the creation of the gaming system known as the CD-I came to pass, I was brought into existence alongside so many others. The game I was in, Faces of Evil, was the game I starred in. It was going to be perfect. Or, at least, good..."
"I take it that didn't go so well." Squidward remarked. "That's life."
"It went beyond that." The wizard muttered. "After that failure, I was kept alive somehow. I didn't know why until I looked on the internet. Don't ask how that happened. It all became apparent." He bowed his head in sadness. "I was a joke alongside the cast. I was a fool who kept having his words mangled and his actions twisted into whatever shape or form the so-called 'Youtubers' saw fit. It was...humiliating."
"So...what you're saying is that your life is literally a joke?" Squidward asked, trying to make sense of this.
"Yes. You have misfortunes. I have an entire burden to carry." Gwonam sighed. "I don't ask for pity. All I ask is that whenever you feel like life is out to get you...remember me."
Deep inside, Squidward felt terrible. Here was an elderly man who had to endure so much ridicule and there wasn't even a ray of sunshine in that deal. Even the squid, with all the abuse he suffered, had his moments of clarity. He got a bit closer to the wizard.
"I guess we're both losers." Squidward said. "Nice to get away from it, though. Right?"
"I suppose." Gwonam said. "It feels nice to actually be part of a quest that matters. Even though the people here will never know we did it."
"Figures." Squidward snorted. "Still, I guess we needed to blow off some steam."
"I do indeed feel my rage quelling." Gwonam said, getting up from his seat. "Now, we have bigger things to worry about. Let us move and seek the 3rd and final orb."
"Lead the way." Squidward said as they trekked through the snow.
As they climbed, the elements were starting to take their toll.
"If only I packed more protective clothing." Gwonam shivered. "How about you, Tentacles?"
"S-s-s-s-same thing here!" Squidward shivered. "The snow's a-a-a-a-actually really fine, but it's just s-s-s-s-s-so cold here! Wouldn't m-m-m-mind a nice fireplace."
"Try out that trick I showed you." Gwonam said. "Create a field of water around you. That probably should help."
"I'm not a wizard, I'm a squid. What makes you think..." A gust of cold wind interrupted the cynic. "F-f-f-f-f-fine. I guess I could give it a try."
Soon, Gwonam spent a good few moments guiding the squid's arms in the right movements for the spell. After an agonizingly long amount of time, a pillar of water slowly stood up.
"I'm...I'm actually doing it..." Squidward looked in amazement.
"That's more like it! But don't let your thoughts run away from you." Gwonam smiled. "Concentrate on what you want it to do."
Squidward closed his eyes as he thought of the right shape. When he opened them again (after more random arm swinging), he was surrounded by water.
"Just call me Squidward the Spectacular and I've got a free trip to...wherever there's a good vacation spot." The squid marveled.
"You're learning fast." Gwonam smiled in approval. "Keep it up and you might learn more complicated techniques. Now, let us be off."
A few moments passed before they noticed a faint purple glow from a large mound of snow.
"We certainly are on a roll." Squidward said before laughing to himself a bit, his nose scrunching up as it usually did.
They headed for it and, after unearthing it, the orb floated up.
"Got a spell for clubbing things?" Squidward asked. "I'm not into fantasy, but I'm pretty sure-"
"Now, now. My magic isn't all THAT powerful." Gwonam said. "Maybe we should wake up our compan-"
With that interruption, the orb started to violently shake and shiver with power. The snow around it started to harden and the orb grew smaller.
"This bodes...rather poorly." Gwonam observed.
"If there was a good excuse to go back to where the others were, I've found it." Squidward said in a hushed tone.
The construct it had just formed looked like a bear made of ice, but its teeth were like that of a Smilodon. It growled at the duo.
"Now would be a good time to retreat." Gwonam whispered to his partner.
They immediately turned tail and ran as fast as their legs could carry them. The beast roared and jumped at them, starting a chase.
That chase was soon to escalate, however. Squidward and Gwonam both slipped and fell onto each-other. They rolled down the hill, the snow gathering around them with the Ice-Bear in tow...
Meanwhile, a few feet down...
"Ugh! I should have flown the craft, you impudent saurian!" Starscream yelled at Meta-Ridley. Fofo and Cerberus were still recovering from the crash.
"Aw, come one! You have to thank me for slapping you back to reality, right?" Meta-Ridley obliviously said.
-_-: Why is it we stay silent during times of crisis like the flying scene?
^-^: Ridley's the man! Or dragon. He can fix anything!
"Guys, guys! Let's just play it by year." Meta-Ridley said to no-one in particular.
"Who are you talking to?" Starscream asked, annoyed.
"That giant snowball heading towards us." Meta-Ridley joked.
They soon realized that the hilarity had died in an instant.
"WHAT?!" They both went. The animals turned their heads to the incoming ball.
"AHHHHH!!!" Screamed the incoming Squidward/Gwonam ball.
BASH!
(Events correspond to music time above text)
(0:00-0:13)
Now, all of the poor souls were crushed into the ball. Starscream, on the other hand, was running on it as if it were a reverse hamster ball. It was quite a humorous sight for anyone but to the group. Whom felt nothing but agony.
(0:14-0:22)
Behind the ball, the Ice construct creature was in hot pursuit. It roared as it barreled through various mounds of snow.
The Decepticon seeker ignored that fact that he was stomping on Squidward's face time and again. Thus, he continued to run.
(0:23-0:31)
"GAH!" He screamed as icicles began to race towards the back of his head. The creature was firing them at him from its mouth en masse. "Why did I have to enter a world of magic and misery?!?!"
The beast slashed through a tree as the Seeker lamented. Nothing would stop it as long as it lived.
(0:32-0:45)
To his ever-growing horror, a giant hen-house laid in front of them. Cue them crashing through it.
"GET THEM OFF OF ME!" Starscream shouted as the fowl inside began to freak out. Feathers flew out of the windows as the ball made its way through it.
"NOW I KNOW HOW LINK FEELS!" Gwonam cried out.
"HI, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS!" Meta-Ridley cheered.
"SHOO! SHOO!" Squidward yelled.
Starscream coughed out a bunch of feathers before he realized that the end of the chicken house was...directly above a cliff.
"SCRAP!!! " He screamed.
(0:46-0:59)
With that, the ball, Starscream, and the Ice Bear careened off the cliff. The Decepticon was so terrified, he forgot to transform. Even when he tried to, the feathers kept clogging his systems.
Eventually, though, they all landed safely in more snow. Starscream, however, was running a bit more awkwardly due to the shock of the fall.
"Alright. Can't get any worse from-"
Trip.
(0:59-1:17)
With that slip of the stabilizing servo, Starscream became a part of the ever-increasing snowball. He screamed with pain as his head hit many a rock. They just kept tumbling down the mountain, the beast still pursuing them like there was no tomorrow.
At some point during this, the ball began to bounce up and down the slope, causing a sizeable crack to form every-time.
(1:18-1:53)
For some odd reason, there was a rather large strip joint in front of them now. The following happened as they cruised through the inside, causing thousands of dollars in property damage.
"COMING THROUGH!" Squidward yelled.
"Ladies!" Meta-Ridley joked.
"EXCUSE ME MADAM!" Gwonam yelled to a bunch of girls doing the can-can.
"Are those real?" Starscream said to himself skeptically.
"MOTHER?!" Squidward looked in horror at a brief image of his mom being there.
They soon exited (shame they never got to see the Ice-Bear with a bra on its head briefly) and now the snow ball was bigger than ever! It was either because of the snow or because they passed through another type of 'snow' that the coots at the joint sniff up their nose.
(1:53-2:04)
There was no stopping the raging pile of snow and bafoons now. For the snowball was the size of a massive boulder. The screaming was non-existant, for the group was completely buried in it.
Just as the Ice-Bear was about to finally catch up, they hit a ramp that flung the snowball into the air...
...and right on top of the construct. The chase, as well as the panic inducing music, had ended.
Meanwhile in New York,
Golus continued to build random object from rubble. Most of it was just stacks of it, but he would sometimes make flimsy-looking toy cars and play around with them until they broke apart.
"Are we dead yet?" Marceline woke up from yet another long nap. The sun had thankfully been blotted out by the purple sky around the city, so that clears up that plothole. "Say, Fluttershy? You seem active."
"Well, Golus over there is learning how to be creative rather than be destructive." The pegasus said as Golus started to make an attempt at a cylinder. He was putting triangle-like bits on it, as well.
"That's...kinda cute." Marceline shrugged. "Doesn't change the fact that we're stuck here forever unless something around here happens."
"I know." Fluttershy sighed. "He's been a bit stubborn about that. I don't know why."
The golem had put the final triangle bit on. It was a crudely done spaceship, apparently. He lifted it up and raised it above his head, waving it in the air.
"Suppose we tell him to 'be a good boy and let the good guys free'?" Marceline made an exaggerated cute face before going back to a scowl. "Pft. Yeah. As if. Let's not forget that little injury he gave me. I'll show you." She began to remove her shirt.
"What if one of the others sees you doing that?" The pegasus asked innocently.
"Nah. It's just us girls." The vampire shrugged. She finally removed it, leaving her torso bare. It also revealed a large lightning-like scar on her back, causing Fluttershy to gasp. There was even exposed burnt flesh.
"Give me a second." The Element of Kindness flew to the end of the prism prison.
"You sure you don't want to take it all in?" Marceline groaned. "It'll take weeks for this to heal. And I'm usually good at doing that. Not to say it doesn't look kinda cool..."
Just then, Z-Squared started to wake up. "Ugh...when's the next Legendary Godzilla film aga-" His eyes bulged when he saw in front of him.
Marceline. A girl. Topless. 1000 years can make a sight like that all the more special. And utterly awkward, if you're this guy.
"AIEEEEEEEE!!! I AM SO SORRY!" Z-Squared screamed like a little girl and covered his eyes with his sword.
"What the-oh. Welcome back to the land of the living." Marceline said as she put back on her shirt. "Alright. What did you see?"
"Pointless fan-service." He replied, still hiding behind the sword.
"Surprised you didn't wake anyone up with that scream of yours." She smirked. "Quite being modest. I don't mind getting a bit...you know...distasteful now and again."
"She's right, you know." Finn muttered in his sleep.
Z-Squared put down the sword. "Okay. I'm just a little perturbed we interrupted the fanfic just for-"
DOOM! DOOM!
The footsteps of Golus heading over to them interrupted that moment. He leaned down to Marceline's level, Fluttershy getting back to the group as well.
"Now, tell her you're sorry." Fluttershy strictly told the behemoth. His head turned to the vampire queen.
"I'm going back to sleep now." Z-Squared said before doing exactly that.
The beast showed off his headlights several times, as if to communicate.
"If that's an apology, then how about this?" Marceline leaned against the wall. "Free us and I might consider accepting it."
"See? If you do something nice for her, she'll do something nice for you." Fluttershy said. "Give it a chance. We'll all forgive you."
Golus looked around the area. So much devastation. So much loss of life. He observed it all. All because of him. Was that what he was thinking? Or was it something different? Because all he did was stand there and bow his head in depression.
"Look." Fluttershy flew to the top of the prison, though it didn't even bring her close to the monster's head. "You're not a bad...thing. You just made a bad decision. Now, make the right one. Please."
Just then, the beast lifted his arms to the air.
"What's he doing now?" Marceline raised an eyebrow.
"He's...reaching out for something." The pegasus observed. "There's something he wants right now."
Golus began to hop up and down, getting faster as time went on. There was a sort of desperation to his jumping, as if he wanted to go to wherever the place was in the sky. He tripped at the 9th hop and fell on his face, causing a shockwave.
"Should have constructed some wings into him." The vampire snarked. "Didn't think that far ahead, didn't he?"
"Marceline! Look at him!" Fluttershy pointed to the clearly despondent golem. He walked away from the prison, his shoulders sagged and his head down.
"Okay. I've got a bunch of questions right now." Marceline remarked. "Is he evil or is he just confused?"
"I'm thinking the latter." Fluttershy sighed. "That poor creature. He probably doesn't even want to be here."
The Golem just sat down and kept staring at its spaceship.
Meanwhile in the Himalayas,
"WHOO! We totaled that thing! We can go home now!" Meta-Ridley raised his arms in triumph as he burst through the ball alongside the others.
"For once, I agree with you." Squidward breathed. "No more monsters. And hopefully, this won't scar me for life."
"Why am I not dead yet?" Gwonam examined himself. "That was some trip we had. My bones should be powder."
^-^: Should we tell him we're in a bad fanfic?
-_-: Most can't handle the strain. Just let him go.
"Let me call Cinemacus." Starsceam used his radio to all upon Sir. "It's about time we escaped this insa-"
BOOM!
The pile of snow burst open, revealing the Ice-Bear. Only this time, it was standing on two legs. The beast roared with primordial fury as its claws and teeth extended.
"I really hate magic." Starscream groaned.
"Do you even believe in it? In a young girl's heart?" Meta-Ridley asked. "Of music and freedo-"
He found himself interrupted when Fofo slashed the dragon's eye again out of annoyance. Cerberus just snorted at the floor as he raised his heat whips again.
"Now, why didn't we think of that before?" Gwonam said as he watched the whips rise.
The beast fired a barrage of icicles at the group, but a wall of water blocked them. Squidward had done it.
"I...guess it's just reflex." He said, confused at the spontaneous spell-movement he just did.
"Like I said. Comes naturally." Gwonam smiled.
"Can we get this over with now?" Starsceam said dismissively.
The Ice-Bear roared and, suddenly, a wall of Ice-spikes appeared in front of it. Many more copies rose to make a circle around the group.
"Okay...puppy! DO SOMETHING!" Meta-Ridley roared at Cerberus. The whips went out and attacked the walls, but the whips froze on contact, causing the pug to reel in pain. Fofo hopped over to the dog, investigating the pain.
"That sure went south." Squidward said.
"Why not the simple solution?" Starscream said as he prepared to fire his missiles.
"What he said." Meta-Ridley giggled as he prepared his own.
However, with blazing speed, the walls closed in on them. They were so shocked that, in a milosecond, the walls were right at their noses.
BZIT! CRAAASH!
The incoming spiked-iced walls shattered when a streak of circular lightning hit them. Something else had come to their aid.
"...Are we cursed with good luck this mission?" Gwonam wondered.
"Remember what we just went through. THEN, try and say that with a straight face." Squidward said.
"Point made." The wizard sighed.
The Ice-Bear turned to who or whatever did that. It was another pet, but this one was almost as big as the construct (as in, well, a bear). It let out a loud bark before it stepped out of the icy mist made from the destruction of the walls.
It was a male Great Pyrenees. Nothing too remarkable. However, he had a sort of pathetic look on his face. It wasn't as tired-looking as Cerberus's face was, but it was still a bit depressing. Nevertheless, lightning radiated off the beast.
"Oh, c'mon! I was vouching for a hamster!" Meta-Ridley shouted.
"Let's see how this turns out. Most likely in our favor." Starscream rolled his optics.
"How is that a bad thing exactly?" Squidward inquired.
Before they could talk any further, the dog began to run at the construct. Said construct fired a volley of icicles at the Pyrenees, but he just fired more circular volts of lightning from his tail. They decimated the icicles and hit the creature's arms, destroying them.
The beast reared back a bit before it was tackled by the pet. The Great Pyrenees began to radiate with volts, causing the monster to melt quickly. All that was left after a few moments was the floating orb, which tried to get away.
"Go straight to the pit, why don't you?" Starscream said as he shot the orb with both his missiles. Meta-Ridley even chimed in with a heat-laser attack.
With that, the orb was destroyed. Go fig.
"Well done! The final part awaits us!" Gwonam exclaimed.
"Just let me call Sir. This trip has started to wear thin on my motherboard." Starscream sighed. "The admiration is still well-received, though."
Meta-Ridley just hopped into the cocaine part of the snow pile. He seemed to be enjoying the feeling. The big dog just walked over to the other pets. Cerberus responded by licking the Great Pyrenees's jowls while the large dog nuzzled Fofo's beak.
"I see you have destroyed the final orb." Sir said over the radio. "Congratulations. Now, I will teleport you near New York. You're final challenge awaits. Oh, and I guess Aslan joined your group as well."
"Your brother wasn't exactly adept at giving names, was he?" Starscream snarked. "I could come up with better ones! Like...Doomfanger!" He pointed at Cerberus. "The beast with a deadly smell."
"How flattering." Gwonam rolled his eyes.
"I guess all we have to do is give that team in New York a 'hi' and then we can just leave." Squidward smiled at the prospect at going home.
The wizard got up to him. "Please. When you go back to Bikini Bottom, use the magic you are learning as of late for good."
"I'd like to stay on the side of the law, so you've got no problem." Squidward said. "By the way, how did you like my music back at the desert?"
"Very unique. I've never heard a sound like it before." Gwonam commented.
"I'll tell you what it is, buddy." Squidward put a tentacle over the man's shoulder. "Culture."
"Now, don't you two make the most adorable pair?" Starscream snarked. "Now, let us be off. I hope for a real challenge, this time."
"Wh-WAIT!" Meta-Ridley screamed as they were being teleported back to the Headquarters. "There's so much coke! I don't wanna leave it! I DON'T WANNA!"
Too late. They had to gear up for the final battle...right after they dragged his tail to the destination...
To be concluded...
Author's Note
Notable Music:
The Himalayas-Ice Cavern from Ocarina of Time
Btw, for your viewing pleasure here are the Constructs and the Pets:
See you soon!
RT Ep.6-10: The Rise of Golus
Final Battle!! Golus Angers!!!
Previously on the Review Team,
The orbs have been destroyed. The group has been sent back to the Headquaters. Everything seems to be going fine...until Golus started to stir. That's really all you need to know right now.
BZIT!
The group were now back in front of Sir. They were relieved to be here except...
"Aw, c'mon! I know Nicole would probably have my head if I tried to keep the stuff, but...but..." Meta-Ridley sobbed.
"Get over yourself." Starscream said. "Besides, that substance, according to the interweb, is nothing but Dark Energon in miniature white form."
"Dark Energon? Sounds like a desperate metal band." Squidward said. Cerberus barked in agreement.
"Now, I shall send you to New York. You shall be hailed as heroes by the team, I promise you." Sir said gladly, interrupting them in the process.
Starscream smirked. "Well, I suppose Megatron might give me a little more respect this time. Alright. Time to end this journey."
"Can we get paid now?" Meta-Ridley asked.
-_-: I have a bad feeling about where this is all gonna go.
^-^: Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! I hope we blow more things up!
-_-: It's the same routine, day in and day out, isn't it?
"The quest nears an end! Our tasks may not be remembered in our respective home-worlds, but the feeling of helping someone should make your hearts swell with joy!" Gwonam exclaimed. "We will go! With many blessings!"
Fofo spread her wings in agreement. Aslan and Cerberus just kept sniffing the floor.
"The important thing is that we go home in the end." Squidward said. "I mean, recognition is nice, but I've got a date with two lovely ladies and their names are Laura and clarinet." He let out a note on his instrument to make a point.
"Allow me to send you the closest I can get you to the designated location." Sir began to teleport them to New York. "The final battle begins!"
"I wanted to say that." Meta-Ridley sighed.
"Oh, well. How bad can one giant hunk of debris be?" Starscream shrugged.
BZIT!
Meanwhile in New York,
"Got any elevens?"
"Nope. Go fish."
Godzilla and Basil, in their boredom and possible delirium, were playing invisible Go-Fish. Everyone else was just taking in their situation.
"This sucks." Finn said.
"You've been saying that for the past few days." Marceline remarked.
"Well, it does." Discord angrily said. "I'm a physical god and yet THIS titanic baby puts us in a cage."
Z-Squared nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah. And the worst part is that he may not be totally a bad guy. Flattened people, notwithstanding."
Mothra was sleeping at the moment while Mr. Freeze used an icicle to carve another mark on the 'days in prison' side of the prism.
Fluttershy just continued to stare at the spaceship the golem made. For some reason, it unnerved her. The way he kept reaching up to the sky, the nights he would spend staring into space, the obvious sadness in his actions...what did he want?!
"Wait! What's that?" Twilight motioned to the other side of the force-field. They had yet to look above and see the top fading away.
"Well, I'll be an actual Prime..." Megatron raised an eyebrow. "I'd recognize that Seeker jet anyday."
The Review Team members looked up and, to their joy, the force-field was waning. They also noticed that, on the jet, there was a squid-man, a Pug, and a Great Pyrenees riding on it. A freakish metal dragon holding on to it with its teeth while a Harpy Eagle and an old man on a carpte flew alongside them.
When they landed and Starscream transformed, the group headed towards the prism.
"MASTER!" Starscream said. "Thank goodness you are in one piece."
"Ah, Starscream. I thought I noticed you. What brings you here?" Megatron groaned. "Are you going to shove it into my face that you have taken over the Nemesis?"
"Primus, no! I have done nothing of the sort! I have come here to rescue you!" Starscream countered.
"Dude, is that a high-heeled robot?" Finn asked.
"ENOUGH WITH THE HEELS!" Starscream yelled.
"Hey, don't we get a thank you?" Meta-Ridley screeched. "RUDE!"
"WHAT THE F&@* IS THAT?! " Godzilla screamed at the sight of the dragon.
"It looks like what happens when you cross a monkey with your childhood nightmares." Marceline said.
"M-monkey?!" Meta-Ridley gritted his teeth. "I'M META-RIDLEY! EMPEROR OF HELL!!!"
-_-: Did you just make that up? Because it sounds like you made that up.
"You're in my head. You should know." Meta-Ridley scolded to no-one.
"Somebody crazier than me? Huh. How about that?" Discord said.
"Pardon the introduction. We are here to free you." Gwonam said.
"What he said." Squidward pointed to the wizard.
"Hey, Squids!" Z-Squared said. "How's it hanging?"
"Good, but better once we get you people out." Squidward responded.
"Hold on..." Z-Squared noticed 3 animals get up to his level. "GUYS?! Fofo? Cerberus? Aslan?! What are you doing here?"
All he got was an assortment of barks and caws.
"Are those your pets?" Fluttershy said before gawking at the pug. "That one looks so adorable!"
"I know, right? The other 2 are no slouches either." Z-Squared said. Fofo gave a glare at that statement.
"Talk is cheap!" Mr. Freeze yelled. "Just free us already!"
Starscream grumbled. "Normally, I'd find a way to vaporize you off the face of this planet, but your interest coincides with mine."
"Well, what would MacGuyver do?" Meta-Ridley asked himself.
-_-: I'm guessing he would wait for some coincidence or instructions from the director.
^-^: F' waiting! Let's blast the thing!
Suddenly, the prism began to flicker and Twilight, who had been lying on the front side, fell out before the Prism could reform.
"I-I'm free!" Twilight exclaimed. She then turned to the rest of the stunned team. "Don't worry, guys! We'll find a way to get you out!"
"Please do!" Godzilla shouted. "I can't stand another minute with Basil's B.O!
"I heard that!" Basil interjected.
"Uh, not to complain, but how did that just happen?" Squidward asked, puzzled at yet another plot contrivance.
"Best not to overthink it." Gwonam patted his shoulder. "At least it wasn't some convoluted quest for the Wand of Gamelon people keep telling me about."
THOOM! That was the sound that Golus was about to rise again. He was a pile of rubble now, but that would change soon.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Meta-Ridley shouted to the narrator.
"What are we supposed to do!?" Squidward panicked. "He's much bigger than anything we faced before!"
"I think the only way to set our friends free is to destroy Golus!" Twilight said.
"Please be gentle with him!" Fluttershy said. "He's only a child!"
"A very apocalyptic and destructive child." Godzilla said.
"Like you when you were a kid?" Finn asked.
"Yeah..." Godzilla said with uncertainty. "I was..."
Meanwhile in 1995...
"THIS WAS A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE IDEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! " Godzilla Jr. screamed as Destroyah dragged him across the city.
Back in the Present...
"...Unstoppable." He finished, putting his head down.
"Taking down that behemoth shouldn't be a problem." Starscream smirked as he transformed and headed towards to the forming mass...
...only to be shot down by Golus's purple eye bolts. He was sent back where the trio was.
"Blast! My cog is damaged!" Starscream complained.
"Well, I guess we're doomed!" Squidward despaired.
"No! There is always hope!" Gwonam said as he stood, poised for battle. "Brace yourselves."
The pets stood their ground as well. They weren't going down without a fight.
"Please don't die...please don't die..." Z-Squared prayed.
"I sure wish I could fly now! I wanna go back to my wife! There's a treasure lying in wait for me!" Meta Ridley wailed, although he licked his lips at that last bit.
"First of all, ew." Twilight remarked, although she felt like she could relate in an opposite gender kind of way. "Second, I remember that it gets its power from the core in its chest! If we can somehow destroy the wall protecting it, we can destroy it with a clear shot."
"I've got a few more missiles on stand-by, so that should do the trick." Starscream said.
"That's nothing! You've got two of those, while I've got 30 of these babies!" Meta-Ridley opened up his chest compartment.
"Even better, we can combine our power to destroy it if we could just get high enough!" Twilight motioned to the entrance to the Empire State Building. "There! We have to travel all the way to the rooftop! It's the perfect vantage point, provided we can get there in time."
"Excellent idea, unicorn!" Gwonam said.
"Guys...I think we'd better hurry." Squidward pointed to the massive creature.
"Terror aside, let's a-go!" Meta-Ridley struck a dramatic pose.
^-^: No WAY this could go wrong!
A few moments later,
"AHHHHHH!!!!" That was the noise that the group was letting out as the Golem chased them and frequently tried to smash them to oblivion. A few bolts were shot and they almost hit them, but the team hid behind pieces of large rubble just in time during said moments. Finally, they reached the doors.
Squidward tried twisting the knob, but it was locked. "I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!"
The door was soon blasted open by one of Aslan's volt attacks and Fofo cleared away any rubble with her spin attack. Once there, they headed to the elevator. They started to frantically press the top floor button until the doors closed.
A few seconds later,
"Hey, my favorite tune is up!" Meta-Ridley piped. "I sang this with my wife on the day we fell in love!"
"Please tell me you're not going to sing." Starscream groaned.
"You betcha'!" Meta-Ridely started to sing:
Meta Ridley: Fly me to the moon. Let me play among the stars.
Let me see what spring is like on...a-Jupiter and Mars.
-_-: You still can't sing.
In other words...hold my hand. In other words...baby, kiss me.
^-^: He's an angel, isn't he?
Even the others had to admit. He was trying his best, especially when he sang the upcoming lyrics.
Fill my heart with song and let me sing forever more.
You are all I ever long for, all I worship...and adore.
In other words...please be true. In other words...I love you.
When the instrumental came on, the other guys started to bob their heads in sync.
'Huh. Never thought a hideous dragon could have a sense of culture.' Squidward thought as his tentacles shuffled.
'This actually works as a good stress relief, now that I think about it.' Twilight thought.
'I feel...younger all the sudden.' Gwonam thought as his body swayed back and forth.
'I might get used to this. It's as almost if the music is...controlling me to have a good time.' Starscream thought. He was even snapping his fingers.
Eventually, they all decided to pitch in.
All: Fill my heart with song! Let me sing forever more!
You are all I long for, all I worship...and adore.
In other words, please be truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue!
IN OTHER WORDS....IN OTHER WORDS...
I love...y-
BZITHOOM! The room went dark.
"I take it this is our stop." Meta-Ridley said nonchalantly.
"It was a nice change of pace, all things considered." Squidward said.
"You know...this is reminding me of my family back at home. Rick...Hope..." Twilight now had a worried expression on her face. "They're probably worried sick about me."
"Our quest is almost over. They will be seeing you very soon." Gwonam assured.
"For now, it is time to restore my master's honor." Starscream said. "And get a boatload of credit." He whispered.
The Decepticon Seeker burst through the doors to find some stairs leading to the top. They could already feel a rumbling echoing through the building.
"We probably don't want to know what's causing that." Twilight said.
"We do. We just don't like it!" Squidward yelped as Fofo got ahead, flying above them as the rest scrambled up the stairs.
When they reached the top, they gazed at the rising sun.
"It's as if Celestia is giving us her blessing in this battle." Twilight smiled.
Everyone looked at her weirdly. "Some worlds are simply too...odd for my taste." Starscream groaned.
"Reminds me of a little escapade with Sponge-brat." Squidward remarked.
THOOM! THOOM!
They turned and saw the Golem, torso, head and arms visible, looming over them. Apparently, it climbed all this way to end their lives. It stared at them with its headlights.
"The battle begins now!" Gwonam said as everyone prepared to fight.
"IT ENDS HERE!" Meta-Ridley screeched, attempting to sound epic.
-_-: We're still doomed, you know.
^-^: There can be ONLY ONE!
Golus, however, had revealed that he didn't climb. He floated, discarding his legs in the process. All that was left of the legs was even more rubble to protect the core. He spread out his arms and let out a bellow.
Suddenly, pieces of rubble came from below at outrageous speeds and were flung at the group. Starscream, Twilight, and Aslan shot at those pieces, while Meta-Ridley shot at the chest of the behemoth with his laser fire. Cerberus was whiping away particularly large peices of rubble, while Fofo flew towards the chest-piece.
Nothing was working, though, especially when Golus shot some purple eye beams at the dragon. Fofo continued to claw at the armor, but a surge of purple energy blasted her back to the roof. Squidward was just spending his time running away from stray pieces of rubble, while Gwonam tried to seek any other sources of water.
"How embarrassing." The wizard said. "The only water I can receive and it's all the way in the ocean."
"Why not just use the toilet water here?" Squidward suggested as Cerberus was flung across the roof by a mailbox.
"...I have STANDARDS, my friend." Gwonam muttered.
When the pieces of rubble ran out, the golem struck his concrete fist onto the tower, knocking a good chunk of building off, but missing the group by an inch. Then, it raised its shrapnel arm and swiped at Starscream and Twilight. Some pieces scraped and cut the 2 as they ran for it, but they lived. Aslan got a lighting bolt to the face and he spent a good moment sneezing in irritation. Yeah. That's how he reacted. I'm not sure why either.
"None of this is working!" Starscream yelled as it brought down more rubble on them. "I never thought I'd say this, but we need a better strategy!"
"I'm thinking about that!" Twilight yelled while avoiding half a street sign.
Meta-Ridley, however, was already thinking of something. He looked at Squidward, who was cowering in fear, and leapt over to him.
"Hey, Squids! Have I got a plan for you!" Meta-Ridley smiled.
"Please, tell me it doesn't involve me trying to sing to it! The last time one of my ancestors tried it with a monster, he ended up as well as you would expect." Squidward interjected.
"Exposition, exposition, exposition, LET ME GRAB YOU!" Meta-Ridley lost his patience and grabbed the squid by the head and tentacles.
"Be gentle with him!" Gwonam exclaimed. "We're like bosum buddies from the classical age!"
Aiming him like an arrow, the dragon let go and the Bikini Bottom resident was sent flying in the air.
"I really hope that dragon knows what he's doing." Twilight said as he watched the squid fly.
Golus was too distracted to notice, for he was too busy swiping his shrapnel near the roof like a blade rather than a shrapnel-thrower. The rest of the group (sans Squidward) ducked just in time.
"Can't we just land a hit already?!" Starscream shouted as he narrowly avoided another swipe.
As for Squidward, he entered a hole in the 'neck' as he fell and he landed on a piece of rubble inside. In front of him was the core itself, pulsating purple as usual.
"Alright. What would the tacticians of old think?" He said to himself. "Retreat? No, that's too obvious. How do I get myself in these messes?" He suddenly got an idea when he looked at some support cables on the behind of the chest compartment. "Actually, I have a statement to make..." He raised his foot...
"I JUST! " He stomped on the first few cables. "WANT! " Then some more. "TO GO! " One more batch. "HOME!!! "
After that was done, the chest compartment fell down, much to the surprise of the golem. Squidward looked out of the hole and waved to this comrades. He was starting to get giddy with all the excitement.
"See! I had faith in you, squids!" Meta-Ridley waved.
"Well done!" Gwonam said.
-_-: That plan was so dumb that it worked. I like that.
^-^: Improbability for the win!
"Thank you all!" Squidward bowed. "Now how do I get out of here?"
"JUMP!" Twilight shouted as a purple electricity bolt (coming from the core) was about to fry Squidward.
He did so and Meta-Ridley managed to get to the edge of the building. His tail did him well as Squidward caught it and was pulled back up. Golus roared with fury and he decided to use that lightning-sword-hand trick again.
Starscream smirked. "HEAR THIS, CREATURE!" The beast seemed to stop as it looked down. Twilight was starting to charge her horn to the peak, Meta-Ridley was ready to fire a whole missile barrage, Gwonam had his arms crossed, Fofo stood cooly, Cerberus was reading his whips for a whiplash effect, Aslan was preparing a volt volley, and Starscream was readying his final arm-missile. "REMEMBER US AS THE STARSCREAM BRIGADE!"
"Wait, what?" Squidward questioned.
"Don't ruin the moment." Starscream reminded.
"FIRE!" Twilight shouted.
"ALLAHU AKBAR!!! " Meta-Ridley shouted, his expression totally crazed.
Before Golus could react, all the weapons were shot at him, hitting him straight in the core. As it blew up, the headlights blew out and a bunch of mini-explosions spread across the body. The creature, before finally falling apart, thrust its fists sideways, knocking the group off.
It seemed like it would be the end for our heroes, but before they hit the ground, Twilight used whatever remained of her magic to create a large float for them to land on. They bounced on it and it sent them back to where the rest of the team was.
"We did it!" Twilight shouted in victory. Starscream raised his hands in celebration and Squidward and Gwonam high-fived. Meta-Ridley and the pets let out their roars/caws/barks to the sky.
"I may never want to do that again." Squidward still had a goofy grin on his face. "But it was worth it!"
"I am glad to hear that! Come!" He said as the rest of the Review Team came in.
"YES!" Z-Squared and several other members shouted. The man, however, was then tackled by his pets. "Aw, gee! I missed you guys too!" He said as Cerberus licked his face.
"Free at last!" Megatron shouted to the heavens.
"The nightmare is finally over." Mothra beamed. "Right everyone?"
"You betcha!" Finn jumped up.
"We wouldn't be free if it weren't for them" Basil pointed to the, ahem, Starscream brigade.
"I really wish I got that all on camera." Discord chuckled. "You seem like my type of guy." He eyed Meta-Ridley.
"Simple. This is what awesome looks like!" Meta-Ridley posed.
"Though you had to rely on such allies," Megatron told Starscream. "I'm grateful that you made amends for the wrongs you committed against me."
"Why, yes! It just goes to show you I have really changed for the better of the Decepticon cause." Starscream nodded.
"I saw the blast, Twilight." Marceline said. "Must have been something, alright."
"Thanks, Marceline." Twilight smiled.
"Wait, what about all this crap?" Godzilla pointed to all the havoc lying around. "Not that I care, but some people are going to have some questions."
"Uh...." Everybody went.
"Yeah, this city's f&@#ed." Meta-Ridley sighed.
"There's also another thing we're forgetting." Z-Squared remarked.
BZIT!
"Congratulations, team! You truly are gifted warriors!" Sir had now arrived at the scene. "Oh, and brother! I am so happy that you are alive!" He then gave Z-Squared a hug that he awkwardly returned.
Sir turned to the Review Team. "How can I ever apologize for not being there the first time? I could not bear the suffering that you all went through! So, I shall give you each a smiley sticker I found at a yard sale!"
"Thanks...we guess." Mothra said.
"I expected nothing and yet I'm still disappointed." Basil said.
He then turned to the foursome. "As for you 4, I shall give you your rewards."
"For you, Twilight, the medal of ingenuity!" He placed the purple medal on Twilight's horn.
"For you, Squidward, the medal of survival!" He placed the silver medal around Squidward's neck.
"For you, Starscream, the medal of loyalty!" He placed the green medal around Starscream's horn.
"And for you, Meta-Ridley, I give you the medal of power!" He placed the red medal around Meta-Ridley's tail. "Oh, and a sum of 2,000 dollars."
Sir flew up the air. "However, it's not over yet."
Any good feeling in the air was immediately quelled.
"Y...you're kidding, right?" Finn's eyes bore several bags under them.
"After all that, there's more?!" Megatron shouted.
"I knew it was going to be a long few orbital cycles, but this ridiculous!" Starscream threw up his hands. "We killed the main reason behind all this chaos!"
"Actually, you didn't." Sir said as he pointed to a mound of rubble.
"I see now." Gwonam said as he examined it. "He clings to life."
"Resilient one, ain't he?" Meta-Ridley inquired. "Tougher than my foot fungus."
"Too much information, Ridley." Twilight said. "Too much."
Everyone got closer and there was the orb, fizzing and spazzing out on the ground. The taxi-car head and a few telephone poll arms were the only limbs left. It looked at them all.
"It all ends here, Golus." Sir said.
"He's right, you know." Godzilla said. "We've had it up to here!"
"Wait!" Fluttershy flew closer to the being. "Surely, after all of this, you're sorry. Right?"
"Give it up, Flutters." Marceline said after she levitated to where she was. "It's about time we put him down. I had to be imprisoned with a guy obsessed with ice puns more than the Ice King!"
"Do you ever plan to stop doing that?" Basil asked Mr. Freeze.
"NEVER!" The villain shouted.
Just then, the beast his face into his arms and started to cry. It was an odd sort of cry, as it sounded like "Shu, shu, shuuuu, shu, shu.." but it was crying nonetheless.
"Alright." Sir turned to Z-Squared. "Finish the job, brother."
"Dang nepotism." Discord rolled his eyes. Literally.
"Sir...I don't think I can do it." The warrior said. "I mean...just look at that."
Golus continued to cry. He just wouldn't stop.
"Please don't feel sad." Fluttershy said as she rubbed one of his arms. "It'll be better. We'll make a new New York and find you a place to play in."
"Uh...there, there?" Marceline awkwardly said as she patted the taxi-cab head. Suddenly, the beast wrapped its arms around her and hugged the vampiress as he sobbed softly.
"Should we just turn tail and leave him here?" Finn asked the group.
"I say we put him out of his misery." Megatron said. "He insulted my honor my striking me down."
"We should move him to a more suitable area." Mothra said. "Kind of like Monster Island."
"Sorry. No vacancies." Godzilla remarked before he was silenced by a death-moth-glare.
"And I say, he needs more incentive." Sir said right before blasting apart the golem's spaceship toy in the distance with a lightning bolt.
"What was that for?!" Basil shouted incredulously.
"Okay, seriously? Dick move!" Marceline screeched.
"That REALLY doesn't bode well." Gwonam said.
"You think?!" Squidward said as the Brigade backed away.
For, you see, Golus had gone silent after seeing that. Something had apparently snapped in the creature...
"Say, Z-Squared, do you mind killing the thing before he realizes what I just did?" Sir asked, a bit nervous.
"You did NOT just do what I thought you did." Fluttershy glared at the knight.
"Take a kid, make him 300 times bigger, and unleash him upon the world after you broke his toys. That's what we're about to get." Z-Squared said.
"GUYS...we're in deep trouble." Finn said as the beast started to rumble.
"You think we don't already know that?!" Squidward screamed.
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Golus was engulfed in a blinding white light as they panicked. The whole place lit up like a christmas light.
Soon, the golem was gone. Nobody knew where he went.
"Okay. I guess he went home to cry to his mommy. I know I would." Meta-Ridley said.
-_-: Am I the only one here feeling a massive tone shift?
"I...guess that works." Sir said.
"I can still sense his energy." Twilight said. "In fact, it's off the charts! Wherever he is, he must be overflowing with power! And I'm only sensing him from a distance."
"Sad to say, but I feel it too." Discord said before conjuring a coffin. "You guys have fun with that. I'm writing my will."
"Get out, coward! Lest we give you the cold shoulder." Mr. Freeze said.
"Settle down, everyone." Gwonam said. "We all have faced impossible odds at some point in our lives. There's no need to panic now. We can get through this just like we have many times before."
"Hey. When you think about it, he's right." Basil said.
"I figured." Finn said.
"You're right! We're not gonna let some mindless monstrosity take us to the grave!" Marceline flicked her tongue in agreement. "No offense, Dis."
"Gwonam's got the right idea!" Squidward said, his face filled with bravery. "I've seen too much and experienced too much to give up now! We're settling this like the warriors of old! And yes. The pioneers count, but only because I'm a bit desperate."
"That's the spirit." Gwonam said. "We shall go...with many-"
SMAAAASH!!!
A massive fist had crashed down upon the wizard, causing everyone to freeze up. Their expressions were the same (joyous and hopeful), but their eyes were pinpricks.
"I...did not see that coming." Sir said.
"At least he knows how it feels." Discord said.
"Please refrain from talking. Please." Megatron grasped his face in annoyance.
"Gwo...nam?" Squidward uneasily said.
"We're fragged." Starscream said as they looked up.
(0:00-0:05)
Gone was the assembled being of rubble. Now, there was a titan of the same size, but different physique. His skin was like a reptile's, only coated with purple electricity. 4 massive stalactite appendages held him up. A massive club tail swung back and forth. Massive clawed hands stretched out of his mighty arms. His head was like a bloated Stegosaurus mixed with rock-like armor. In fact, rock-like armor adorned the entire creature.
And it looked at them with extreme hate. Even as that music ended for the moment.
"We'll...get you a new one?" Fluttershy asked.
His expression seemed to soften.
"And it'll have explosions painted on the side!" Marceline chimed in.
Now, he was looking a bit more calm.
"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!" Sir shouted as he fired some lightning bolts at the creature's face, inciting a truly angered roar.
(0:06-0:19)
"SIR!!! YOU RETARD!!! " Godzilla shouted as the beast threw down his fists upon the Earth, forcing the others to scatter.
The monster began to fire concentrated lightning bolts from his maw, vaporizing sections of the city. The Team got a respectable distance away before their instincts kicked in.
"Okay. He's organic for some reason." Twilight said. "Maybe he doesn't have a specific weak-point now."
"So, let's hit him with all we've got!" Meta-Ridley agreed.
"What about Gwonam?!" Squidward panicked. "He got-"
"Enough talk! The dragon's right!" Megatron said. "I've had enough of being this abberation's plaything."
"I suggest we go all-out!" Mr. Freeze said. "It worked the last time."
"Good idea, Victor!" Z-Squared said as the titan advanced on them. "Because f*#&ed if I have any better ones."
(0:20-0:33)
"Fire everything!" Meta-Ridley screeched. Every character with a projectile attack/beam weapon opened fired. Fluttershy closed her eyes as the scene unfolded. Sir just shrugged when she looked at him.
Golus covered the attacks with his hand before he started to glow violet. He spread out his arms and lifted them up.
(0:34-0:47)
He roared so loud that the sky shook. Waves of red-hot boulders emerged from the ground the monster stood upon. He pointed at the group, causing the boulders to head straight for the team.
"Scatter!" Starscream shouted as the rocks rained down upon them like an unholy plague.
"SERPENTINE!" Finn shouted. "OR WHATEVER!"
(0:48-1:00)
Those who could fly took the air while the ones on the ground did their best to avoid the onslaught. The boulders were falling so hard that they shattered, making it much more difficult for the heroes to get closer to the behemoth. Said monster just kept roaring in rage.
"Make for the head!" Basil shouted to the others.
"Let's crack this baby open!" Meta-Ridley screeched.
(1:01-1:14)
"You think pissing off the mentally unstable monster was a BAD idea, bro?!" Z-Squared shouted as he cut several boulders in half.
"Be silent and keep track of the score." Sir reprimanded as he cut 5 boulders with one swipe of his sword.
"Just when I thought this day couldn't get any more stressful." Squidward sighed as the cataclysm happened around him.
(1:15-1:28)
The boulders soon stopped when the beast was slashed upside the head by Marceline. He was dumbfounded by the blow and several more of the Team and the Brigade had gotten closer.
"Alright. Ready to unleash Hell?" Godzilla said, his fists clenched.
"I was BORN ready!" Meta-Ridley prepared his missiles.
"Show them what true heroes are made of!" Sir shouted as the attack commenced.
(1:29-1:43)
And thus, the area lit up with beams and blasts from every single character (barring Z-Squared, Fluttershy, Finn, Marceline, and Squidward). In stark contrast to last time, the beast was actually taking pain. He was being pushed back into several buildings, no less.
"And I was so afraid of him! What a cheap joke!" Discord said as he unloaded pure chaos into the monster.
"I'd aim for the eyes if I were you." Megatron said.
"Sir, how does lightning kill something like that?" Starscream asked the knight, who was unleashing his volts against Golus's skin.
"REASONS!" The knight shouted back.
The beast finally fell backwards...
(1:44-1:57)
...Only to get back up, madder than before. However, tears seemed to be streaming down the monster's face as he roared with fury. Despite all the pain he was recieving, he started to barrel his way through the beams. His club tail accidentally swatted away Starscream, Meta-Ridley, and Twilight from the premises back to where Squidward was.
"Too bad that didn't kill me." Squidward said.
"Shut up, will you?" Starscream grumbled.
(1:58-2:11)
"Hold on a minute..." Marceline looked at the creature closely now. There seemed to be some kind of...dark energy building up inside the beast. Golus was powering up something while taking the power of various indivisuals to the face/chest/legs/whatever.
"Something wrong?" Basil asked as he breathed another stream of flames. Golus's mouth opened wide and the dark energy grew stronger.
"Hold on!" The vampire got an idea as to what the thing was planning. "GET OUT OF THE WAY! IT'S A TRA-"
(2:12-2:24)
In what appeared to be Golus's ultimate ability, the beast shot out a beam of white and grey. It was so sudden, that the members didn't even know what hit them. Inside the beam, they were slowly turned to stone. The whole ground shook with the sheer intensity of the attack.
"NOT AGAIN!" Discord shouted as he was given such a fate. The rest of the members just screamed as they were turned into lifeless statures that fell upon the floor.
(2:25-2:38)
As the beast continued to spread the beam across the area, the only ones who weren't turned to stone were the Brigade and Sir.
"What have you done?!" Twilight shouted at Sir. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
"What have I done? I tried to end the threat of the golem!" Sir shouted incredulously.
"By striking a nerve in him?! None of us were prepared for that!" Squidward shouted. There was some wetness in his eyes now. "And that's why Gwonam can't be with us now!"
"INCOMING ROCKS!" Meta-Ridley shouted as less boulders than last time tried to crush them. They managed to dodge, thankfully.
^-^: It's rainin' granite! Hallelujah!
(2:39-2:52)
Out of some rubble, the pets rushed to their teammates sides.
"Where were you during the coming of this abomination?" Starscream asked. "I mean, you're not stone, yes, but still."
"You'd think they were put on a bus." Meta-Ridley inquired.
"We have to do something! There's still hope!" Twilight said. "We just need a little more power! And to stay away from that attack as long as possible!"
"No...without the rest, we are indeed doomed." Sir said. "Thanks to that monster."
He got barked at by Aslan for that remark.
"He knows what you did!" Starscream shouted. "I can't believe I'm siding with a Terra-bound hound."
Now, Squidward could just stare at the devastation.
(2:53-Any time you please)
The beast just rampaged through the city like an angry child. No building was spared. No street was cracked to Hell. Nothing was left to chance. The mosnter was hellbent on destroying everything in his rage.
Squidward felt like an ant compared to the monster. An insignificant ant. Gone was the bravado that had built up over this adventure. Now, he was his cowardly, useless self again. The fire...the rubble...the monster...the petrified teammates...it was too much. He collapsed to his knees.
"W-w-wait. There's still something I can do..."
That voice got his attention. It was Gwonam! However, the wizard was worse for wear. His clothes were tattered, he was covered in blood, and some bones were sticking out.
"Gwonam! This is terrible! We need to skip town! Get a doctor! Anything!" Squidward panicked.
"Whoa! You got f&@^ed, man!" Meta-Ridley said.
"I'm surprised he managed to crawl all this way with those injuries." Twilight winced at the sight of the bloody mess.
"Impossible if you overthink it!" Sir remarked.
"Surely, there's some trick you have in order to stop this, magic user!" Starscream pleaded. "And was that a rock beat I heard?" (lyrics correspond with text above)
"Squidward...now's not the time for dying..." Gwonam reached up to the squid's chest. "I give you..." The hand started to glow.
"Anime power-up time incoming!" Meta-Ridley shouted before retreating.
The hand glowed even brighter. "AQUA UNLOCK!!!!!!" The wizard finished.
My breath has stopped at 5 in the morning. A calm that spreads before the storming.
Biting my nails at emergency exits, tell me where is tomorrow?
The day...has COOOOOOOOOOOME!!!
A mighty instrumental rang as a powerful blue light engulfed the squid. He let out a scream that echoed through the land before he and the rest vanished in the ensuing smoke explosion. THE lyrics soon began again, much to the duress of the writer.
Golus looked curiously at the cloud that formed because of that display. There appeared to be occasional blue bursts of light.
The ground started to rumble, alerting the titan. He braced himself for a new opponent as this happened. Suddenly, 3 pairs of red eyes lit up in the smoke.
The night won't let us see the sun...The rain will last till the next millennium.
I hate to say both are here to stay in this world we shaaaare!
The shape appeared to be a bit smaller than Golus. This only intrigued the Golem a bit more. The shadow also looked like it had several appendages hanging from the back.
The shape made a finger gesture to come closer. The golem stuck out his face...and a fist headed straight for it.
Still it's not odd in the slightest. You're walking half-asleep and you're tripping like this.
I'm not one to criticize it, even if I caaaaare!
It hit it's mark and Golus was sent back into a building. He got up and looked upon the one who would bring him this pain.
It was a massive light brown armored crab-like monster with 2 pairs of massive hook-ended tentacles hanging out from the back. 6 spider-like legs held it up. Its head as smooth and it had a mouth filled with razor sharp teeth.
This was Squidward given new life...and he was readying a charge with a mighty roar.
Play alone...in your fantasy...
Ashamed to show...the things that you're imagining!
What do you see?!
Before Golus knew it, he was punched again, but this time, more rapid punches came. Squidward's new form may have been huge, but it was so fast. He was even running and pushing Golus back even further as he rapidly punched the golem.
Said Golem managed to block one punch and attempt to club his foe's head with his tail. Squidward just bit into it and swung him up to the sky.
The maze is twisting, ever twisting! Do you plan to see what you're missing?!
The sound of a bell from a tiny adventurer signals a new beginning!
The tentacles began to rapidly slam against Golus, keeping the monster in the air. Then, they combined into one tentacle and whacked him out near the sea.
The Golem landed, his back sliding against the ground. Squidward made his way over there to deal with him now.
However, Golus immediately got up and roared to the sky as a electrical aura surrounded him. He then slammed his fists against the ground.
Are you sure that you're not shaking?! Such uncertain roads you're taking!
Every step that you take it is changing you. Where is tomorrow?
The day...has COOOOOOOOOOOME!!!
As the instrumental came back on, the beast was surrounded in a massive expanding force-field that obliterated anything in its path. Golus roared again as the field dispersed and only smoke was left. However, a missile slammed into the back of his head right as the lyrics started again.
"Let's handle this quicker!" Starscream shouted as he continued his assault. Meta-Ridley, his wings fully charged and with Twilight riding on him, followed as well. He fired a heat laser for good measure.
Golus just growled and tried to swat them away, only to miss and get several magic blasts to the face. He raised a volley of boulders and prepared to take care of these pests.
Some of them will never really get it...some of them will say they do but they're pretending!
I hate to say both are here to stay in this world we shaaaare!
Unbeknownst to him, the pets were running/flying up his tail. Fofo was quickly flying her way right through the flesh of the tail while Cerberus was whipping his way through the many boulders that tried to hurt his teammates.
Aslan just jumped off the tail after delivering several lightning strikes to the legs. This caused the beast to notice as he knelt down and roared in pain and anger.
The world has not been heaven-sent! The world is not in hell just yet!
Existing in between, a silver lining theeeeere!
He then took several more missiles to the face thanks to the dragon. He still got a good look at Squidward preparing a building to throw.
The transformed squid threw it indeed, but Golus just fired his Medusa Ray and turned it to stone, making it easier to punch it and powderise it...
Unfortunately, it provided a surprise attack for the brigade, as evidenced by them quickly emerging from the powder and charging towards him.
The cards will show...what tomorrow brings...
The wind will blow...the future it is carrying!
What will it be?!
Twilight fired a mighty laser that blinded Golus, while Squidward stabbed his tentacles into the body just so he could slam his foe down on the ground.
As he was pinned down, Golus began to have his mouth filled with laser blasts and gunfire from the other two members. They maneuvered their way out of the quick boulder wave the golem conjured.
The maze is twisting, ever twisting! Do you plan to see what you're missing?!
The sound of a bell from a tiny adventurer signals a new beginning!
Fofo carried both of the other pets as she dive-bombed the creature, who was struggling to get out of this, even smashing the ground so hard with his fists that it left sizable cracks in it. This actually managed to free the behemoth.
Golus spun around before clocking Squidward in the face, disorienting the hero.
In his rage, Golus unleashed waves of boulders his size around him while roaring up a storm.
Are you sure that you're not shaking?! Such uncertain roads you're taking!
Every step that you take it is changing you. Where is tomorrow?
The day...has COOOOOOOOOOOME!!!
The rocks pounded against Squidward's soft head and made the flying all the more harder for the others.
"Do you really think this will deter us, you mindless monstrosity?!" Starscream shouted as he shot his way through a boulder.
You know you want to keep on believing what your open eyes have been seeing
As you cower long befooooore the dawn!
Golus just roared as he increased the intensity of the waves. Now, it was Squidward who was being pushed back. Everyone else started to retreat.
The golem roared to the sky in victory as he saw this unfold. Nothing could get past the massive field of boulders he made for himself.
All your darkest nightmares have been coming true!
So crrrry on, crrrr oooon!
The instrumentals once again took over as Golus started to get impatient inside his field of boulders. All he could think of was rage and destruction. Nothing else mattered.
So, when the guitars went wild, he naturally decided to just fling them all over the place and fire his Medusa Ray at every conceivable turn. It was pure chaos. He was even throwing buildings into the sky just because. However, the Brigade was...uh...
"Yoo hoo! Mister enemy!" Meta-Ridley shouted, grabbing the Golem's attention. They were right behind him at a faraway distance. The dragon cheekily waved his hand.
The monster let out a rage of unbridled hate as he prepared to fire his beam. In fact, he spent a few good seconds trying to make it the most powerful of his rays. He suddenly felt a shadow loom over him. The lyrics came back as he slowly turned his head to what was causing that.
It was a massive tidal wave, almost as big as a skyscraper. The sight was so mighty, it even caught the golem off guard. He shook with fear as the wave grew only bigger.
On the top was Squidward. "In the words...of Gwonam..." He began as the water grew only bigger and Golus's eyes grew only wider. "SQUADALA!" He thrust his hands down.
Real survivors, strength undying. Stabbing backs and always lying.
Those who survive till the end are the winners. Fairness is just an illusion!
The wave started to come down as Golus ran for his life. The Brigade was faraway enough to witness this spectacle, thankfully. Soon, it was right above the giant's head.
Violently, the wave crashed onto top of the monster, pinning him down again. He madly fired his Medusa Ray in the air, hopeing for a good shot. When the wave stopped, he was greeted with...
...Squidward's fist slamming through his chest after jumping into the air and having said fist land on said chest. Purple electricity began to burst out. Golus screamed in pure pain as his eyes and eventually his body lit up.
Secret hunter, creeping toward you! Worldly whispers, tries to warn you!
Sharpening claws on emergency exits! Tell me, where is tomorrow?
The day...has COOOOOOOOOOOME!!!
Golus was engulfed in a mighty purple pillar that shook the ground and caused a wave of pure energy to radiate through the town. The city was being rebuilt. The humans were being resurrected (and sent to Kansas for some reason), and the other heroes were being restored to flesh and bone.
It all ended with a puff of purple and blue sparkles in the sky.
"Gwonam...please be okay. We did it. We actually did it."
That was Squidward, now reverted to normal, doing his best to comfort Gwonam, as well as a little bit of himself. He and the Brigade looked over the dying man.
"It's no use." Starscream said. "The man is breathing his last."
"He survived all that damage just to give us a chance to defeat Golus." Twilight said. "He lived a wizard and died a hero."
"No! He's not dead! He's just resting!" Squidward angrily shouted.
"Kid, I know when the mortal coil has finally bellied up. I'd know because I lived through it." Meta-Ridley said. The Pets just stared and sniffed at the dying man.
"Sq...Squidward..." Gwonam breathed. "Just because the body rots, doesn't mean the soul withers away as well. I'm sure the next life will provide much reprieve for the lot of us. We have finished our quest. And look right now."
He pointed to the rebuilt city and all the other heroes, who were waking up.
"Well done, everyone." Gwonam continued. "Golus is...well, I don't know what happens to someone after a punch like that, but the point is...look. Already, New York is returning to harmony. The birds are singing. Isn't it beautiful?"
"Golly." Twilight said. Fofo just shook her head at that.
"As it is written, you, all of you, are the heroes of New York." The wizard coughed. "We...are the heroes...of New York..."
With that, his eyes closed. His life had ended.
They all just stood there over the dead body. They didn't even move even when Sir and the other heroes came up to them.
"Hold on." Discord interrupted. "Hate to ruin the moment, but what happened to that monstrosity?"
"Dunno." Finn replied. "He probably got vaporized."
"Good riddance." Sir crossed his arms. "The devastation thankfully went away."
"Hooray for plot connivance." Meta-Ridley sighed.
"Is he going to be okay?" Mothra asked about Gwonam.
"No. Does anybody have kindling?" Squidward stood up. "He deserves a pyre."
"Fit for a warrior." Z-Squared said. "God rest his soul."
"You mean Primus." Megatron said.
"Don't make this complicated." Marceline said.
Out of the dust, a massive body dragged itself towards them. They all turned to it. It was Golus, now just a torso with an arm and a head. He stopped when he got close to the team.
Then he started to weep. His own life was starting to fade. He covered his eyes with his one hand as he felt his end coming.
"I say we strike him do-" Sir was interrupted by a tackle by Aslan and Cerberus.
"Thanks." Z-Squared gave them a thumbs up.
"What do you suppose we do with him now?" Mr. Freeze asked.
They all thought for a moment. Even Squidward was having a hard time deciding. Sure, he was the one responsible for Gwonam's death, but he was just a child through and through. Attacking him now would be too cruel.
"Golus...please don't cry." Fluttershy flew up to the poor thing. "What you have done has been reversed. We all forgive you. We know you meant no wrong."
"Petrification aside, that was a pretty cool final form." Marceline admitted.
"Really showed that killer instinct." Godzilla shrugged.
"You gave us one heck of a high! Or at least, myself." Meta-Ridley said.
"Um...have fun in the afterlife." Starscream said, not being used to kind words.
Twilight and the other Team members just stared at the display. Here was a titan of unimaginable destruction and it had to be comforted like this. It brought a smile to her face to see this level of forgiveness.
Squidward walked up to the monster. "...Be good." He said.
Golus had stopped crying a while ago. Now, all he did was lower his head. Not in sadness, but as if he were about to sleep. However, before that, he gave the sky one last meaningful look. He reached out for it...
...and started to fade away in a shower of purple sparks.
"That's...rather beautiful..." Megatron said. "In a ironic sort of way."
"Farewell..." Z-Squared said.
The sparks, for some reason, made the shape of a man running. It ran past them and it was starting to run all the way into the sky. Spreading out its arms, it dispersed at last. Golus...was no more.
He had gone home. Wherever that was.
"Wait." Godzilla interrupted. "Look, props for you guys saving us and for this nightmare being over, but I think we need to address the elephant in the room."
They all gave a very nervous Sir Cinemacus a look. "Ummm...." Sir stammered. "I have to finish my...pizza bagels now. I mean, we won! That's all that matters now. Right?"
"Hey, I don't know about you all, but I hope there's a whole chapter in which we just BEAT UP ON SIR!" Meta-Ridley shouted.
-_-: I'm in!
^-^: RIP HIM APART!
The scream that Sir let out, before an whole enraged cast descended upon him, would make the littlest girl feel embarrassed.
"And that's how me and the guys saved the world." Meta-Ridley said as he finished his pork-chops. He was back at his home in Elmore with his whole family to welcome him. He had just got finished telling his tale. Wait, not really.
"Well, then what happened?" Gumball asked.
"After Sir was beaten to a pulp, I had him beam us back to the headquarters (At least what was left of that immortal bling-pop sent us back that is). The guy was totaled, kid! Anyway, we threw a little celebration and I got to mingle with some of the locals. That Discord guy I talked about was the best second to the vampire. Squidward got sent back to his house but not before I gave him a little something for whoever that 'Sponge-brat' was. It was just a little something that goes boom, boom, boom. Also, I'm pretty sure that funeral pyre and power-up boosted his confidence and honor or something. Starscream and Megatron left at the same time and, judging by that email he gave me a few minutes before dinner started, he's doing better than fine! As for Twilight, well, I don't know. Also, those pets loved on Z-Squared until the whole room tasted like diabetes." Meta-Ridley finished with a sigh.
"Either way, it's good to be back."
"Well, next time this 'Sir' person brings you on these 'missions', tell him he needs my permission. And to not send men on carpets into the house as well." Nicole stated.
"Anything you say, my dearest. Anything." Meta-Ridley smiled. "Now, we're done here. Roll credits!"
With that, his tail lifted up and brought down a very large, very huge:
THE END
"New York city nearly got leveled?" said a distant voice deep within the Earth's core. "Not exactly what I had in mind, but hey. All's well ends well."
The distorted laughter that rang out would have drove any sane man into madness...
Author's Note
Cast:
Sir, Z-Squared, and the Great Evil-Themselves
Music:
Headquaters-Wii Shop Theme
Nothing expect the OCs and alterations belong to me. The awesome artwork in the final battle belongs to the extremely good artist known as Daigokun. Kudos!
The Soundtrack for all to see (apologies for the shoddy production values):
See you soon!
View Online
RT Ep.6-10: The Rise of Golus
Terror and Apathy!! Meta-Ridley and Squidward!!!
Previously on the Review Team,
Starscream, called upon by Sir and the wizard of Coradai known as Gwonam, has successfully destroyed the first power-orb with the help of Z-Squared's pet Harpy Eagel, Fofo. The force-field in New York is starting to wane a little but not by much. Sir has also realized that he requires 2 other warriors, which leads to-
-_-: Um, look. We figured that this narrative is growing old for such a huge crossover event.
^-^: So lets amp it all up! Pretty please?
Hey, in case you're wondering who's talking, those are just the voices in my head. Because now that I'm in this fanfic, I might as well take over! The name's Meta-Ridley! You know, that character from that last fanfic that's happily married to the hottest babe in Elmore? The giant metal dragon originally hailing from that Metroid franchise? Well, that Meta-Ridley is so BORING!
-_-: I think your fame is the least of the reader's concerns.
By the way, that's my serious voice talking. A bit of a bore, but still fun to listen to.
^-^: But we're so awesome! I don't care if people start calling us a Deadpool rip-off!
And that's my fun voice! He's mostly in charge but he ain't no Donald Trump! This guy in my head is much more fun!
-_-: Sigh. Look, the reader wants to know why you're narrating. Did we just waltz in here?
^-^: We did?!
-_-: No, you dolt. Tell them, boss.
Okay, okay. So, I've returned from a battle in the insect planet Gargonalo-
-_-: I am hereby ashamed on how Kronos names some of his planets.
And I'm having a wonderful meal with my family! Although, that's subject to interpretation.
"Who ate all the meatloaf?" My wife, Nicole, asked me in a dangerous tone. My whole family's eyes turned to me immediately.
-_-: You done f-ed up this time.
^-^: How 'dem Duke Boys gonna get outta this one?
"Well, honey, I think I turned it into a fish by accident." I shrugged.
"...What?" Anais, my precious daughter, broke the ensuing silence.
"There was a time when I asked myself, and I quote, what would Jesus do?" I inquired holding an oversized claw to my chin.
"You mean the tiny man on the cross you put over the hallway?" Darwin, my son's pet turned roomie, pointed to the little figure hanging on the wall.
"Can we have a subject change? This is getting a bit awkward." Gumball, my firstborn, said. Gotta say. Takes after his mom in more ways than one.
BZIT!
"Salutations!" A weird bearded man on a carpet exclaimed.
"What the what?!" My family shrieked.
"Oh dear Kronos!" I shouted. "IT'S THE MEATLOAF DEITY!!!" I bowed to pay my respects unto the holy being. "I'm sorry I ate my wife's meatloaf last night! I'll never do so again! Spare me of thy wrath!"
-_-: Should we tell him?
^-^: Nah, this is WAY more fun!
"I'm...not whatever God you worship." The man replied. "I am but a humble messenger. My name is Gwonam. The Wizard of Coradai."
"You could have used the door." Nicole said. "And knocked, for that matter."
"The ways of the mystic have no time for proper entrances. Especially not at this grave moment!" The wizard help us his arms. "Golus and his power has seized the city of New York!"
"Hmmm...how can we help?" Gumball half-heartedly said. Yeah, he just had a good, but frustrating day at school. Can't blame the guy.
Gwonam (...yeah, I've got nothing on that name) got out a scroll. "It is written ONLY Meta-Ridley can assist from this world and defeat Golus."
Score! Another job! "GREAT! I'll pack my stuff!" I exclaimed as I balled my claw into a fist of joy.
"There is no time! Your missiles are enough!" He said while swooshing his body back and forth. Must be into yoga or something.
"How 'bout a kiss..." I leaned in to Nicole...before I turned to the wizard. "...for luck!"
Smooch! Right on the old man's nose!
"GAH! What the?!" He shouted, incredulous.
"You've got to be kidding." Nicole sighed, pinching her nose.
"Ah, just kidding! Here ya' go, honey!" Being the gentleman I was, I playfully booped her on the nose with my tongue tip.
I jumped onto the carpet alongside the old man. "Hi ho, Silver! AWAY!"
-_-: You realize we could have caught Kronos knows how many diseases from that.
"Hey, the one at the wedding's still taking its course, ya' know." I reminded my little voice.
"Who are you talking to? What did I sign up for?!" Gwonam grasped his head.
"Yeah, you guys do that." Gumball said, getting up from the table. "Let me know if you find any unicorns. Or orcs. Or Val Kilmer's career."
"Sick burn!" I shouted as we were transported away.
BZIT!
Welp, here we were! In space! Okay, it's not that special. My Space Pirates made sure of that.
"YOU AGAIN?!" Oh, look! It was that Squidward guy!
-_-: He was also there during our teleporting fiasco.
^-^: I LOVE reunions!
"Yep! ME!" I posed dramatically. "Miss me?"
"No, I didn't, you dunderhead!" he shouted. Sheesh, cut me a break. The guy must have been going through a panic attack. "I was enjoying a book when suddenly a genie brings me here! To be fair, though, I think I heard Sponge-brat and his friend try to break in."
"Do not worry, Squidward." Gwonam walked over to him. "I shall protect you from what is to come."
"Greetings, you two." said a voice that strangely seemed familiar.
^-^: It's Mrs. Pac Man!
-_-: Sigh. Damn my life. IT'S SIR CINEMACUS FROM LAST TIME!
"Geez, you don't have to shout! The readers can hear you just fine!"
-_-: They CAN'T hear us, Ridley.
"I'm beginning to think you need medical attention." Gwonam crossed his arms.
"Hey! I've heard of some f-ed up s&#^ in your time period that they use for 'medicine'." I put air-quotes on that last one. "I need it like I need a permanent hole in my head!"
"Enough of your ramblings, Ridley." Sir inquired.
"META-Ridley." I corrected (show a guy some manners, will ya'?!).
"Understood. Now, you both are probably wondering why you are here." he put his hands together.
"YES!" Squidward yelled. "Explain to me why I'm in space again AND stuck with this maniac of a reptile as well!"
"Calm yourself, Squidward. You shall be rewarded handsomely for your efforts today." Sir motioned to one big-ass T.V that showed-
"GASP! CHOKE! NEW YORK HAS BECOME FUTURE DETROIT!" I shouted in anguish as I watched the 'city that never sleeps' seem to shut its eyes for good. I mean, I love destruction, but this is asking much!
-_-: Wow. You're actually having a sane reaction without my assistance.
^-^: AW! This is way too depressing! Lets switch to Star Trek!
Squidward now looked surprised. What a cute look! "Look, Bikini Bottom forced me to fix their city every Sunday at one point, but I am not fixing THAT mess! I'm willing to give some money, though, if that's what you want."
"Very generous, but all the rupees in the worlds cannot end a reign of terror so easily." Gwonam held up a finger.
"You shall do something better." the clod-in-shining-armor said. "You shall destroy the source of that giant force-field covering the city. After that is finished, you shall regroup with your other teammate, the likes of which will return soon, and destroy the monster that caused this."
"SWEET! Saving the world AND wanton destruction!" I squealed. "First, though, I have to call my wife and kids that I'm gonna be away for longer than usual."
^-^: Ah, family. Nothing more important than that.
-_-: You said it.
"That has already been arranged. I have broadcasted my message to your loved ones that you will return soon. I'm sure they'll ge tht e-mail sometime." He pointed to Squidward (such large hands, I could just chomp them off!). "Laura has been informed that you are on a business trip. Simple as that.
"She happily awaits your return. So, survive for her." Gwonam patted the shoulder of the guy.
Squidward still looked uneasy, but he just sighed and said "Alright. But I will sue! Well, if I had a decent lawyer."
^-^: Huh. Lawyers! Who needs them!?
-_-: The last one we had DID bail on us that one time.
Sir then motioned to me. "As for you, I also promise a better bonus to fund Gumball's science project. The check will be in the mail."
"Right-e-o, payer-up-o! So, where do we start? Who do we kill first?!" I bounced up and down.
"Whoa! Watch it!" Squidward frantically tried to get out of my way.
"Gracious!" Gwonam got back onto his carpet.
"The second orb has been detected somewhere in the Middle East. I think it has been captured by some of the inhabitants. Judging by some of the occupants near it, they appear to be hostile. Only kill them if they attack first." Sir motioned to a map.
"These are the TRUE faces of evil!" Gwonam narrowed his eyes. Yeah. Terrorism is only so much fun until you kill TOO many innocents for the sake of a religion that gets twisted around too often. Enough of being political, though.
"Wait! Killing?" Squidward felt sweat trickle down his neck. "Look, I don't know if I'll be able to actually do that. I mean, I'm a sane man! Not like this saurian lunatic!"
"Hey! You take that back!" I countered. ZING! Wait, what am I saying?
"Do not worry, Squidward. You can just tag along. I am sure that you shall come through soon enough. Oh, and I see you still have that invisible air-proof bubble around you."
Squidward nodded his head. I love plot conveniences.
-_-: Especially those that don't affect the overall continuity.
"Nevertheless, you WILL have to learn to defend yourself." Gwonam told him. "I shall show you one of my techniques I've picked up through my fleeting life. It involves water, so it should be easy."
"Magic. Of course. Why not?" Squidward's expression deflated. "Lead the way. I'll just try to SURVIVE."
BZIT!
Before you could say 'Chimi-Chonga' in several languages, we suddenly found ourselves in a desert! Barren, dry, and devoid of all life. Feels like Darwin and Masami's past love-life. BLECH!
^-^: Girl was a jerk!
-_-: Indeed.
"Well, that was timely. Where do we go now?" Squidward looked at his wrist radio (how Sir gave him that is anyone's guess).
"Head north and you shall be greeted by what you seek." Sir inquired over the radio.
"I remember meditating in a desert for several years." Gwonam said, relaxing. "It was valuable to my resume for the king."
"Alright! Lets FLY!" I spread out my wings...
...only to realize I forgot to charge them after my last battle on that insect world. "SH*T!" I hit the ground with my fist.
-_-: DAMN IT, RIDLEY! This could have all been over in just a few minutes!
^-^: I knew we should have taken that left turn to-
That's jokes a million years old. Drop it.
"Don't worry! I'll just..." Gwonam realized something was wrong. "...where's my carpet?"
Back at the Headquarters...
"This looks PERFECT!" Sir said as he looked up the new tapestry that hung from his main control room.
Who knew magic carpets were so fashionable?
Back at the desert...
"Son of a Dodongo." The wizard pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Any other ideas." Squidward asked me.
"Oh, c'mon! I'm the miser of ideas! Just watch me!" I grabbed Squidward by the shirt with my teeth and threw him onto my back. I felt just like a camel!
-_-: Lets just pray that wasn't TOO racist.
^-^: What gonna happen next? What's gonna happen NEXT?!
Me, the wizard, and the Squid walked...and walked...and walked some more...and dhafdlkfalhfldsjkfksa.
WHOOPS! Sorry! Fell asleep on the keyboard!
Anyway, Squidward fell asleep on me until we reached some kind of cave. We could hear some activity bustling from it, so I figured "Why the hell not?"
-_-: I don't know. Maybe it's either guarded or covered in booby traps.
^-^: Teehee! You said 'traps'!
"Let us go. With many blessings." Gwonam said as we entered.
Well, lets just say the passage way was a real jerk to my metal polish. There were spike traps, tripwire-laced shotguns, and even some mines. I came without a scratch but Squidward wouldn't stop screaming for some reason. Gwonam was covering his ears from the noise of both the traps and Squid's shrieking.
"HOW ARE YOU SURVIVING ALL OF THIS!?" he shouted in fear.
"Well, I have a healing factor! YAY ME!" I responded gleefully.
"The young ones always want the easy way, don't they?" Gwonam muttered as he disabled a trap with some weak magic.
Suddenly, we heard shouting. Overhead, we saw the big guys arrive with their guns and gibberish. Look, I don't understand their language, okay?! They went down when I shot some missiles from my chest, a nice fire laser from my mouth, and overall wiped out the oncoming hoard.
Another horde came from behind me and this time, Gwonam stood in front of us.
"Stand back! It's time I showed you that trick, Tentacles." The wizard spoke.
"You'll make them vanish?" He asked.
"This is no mere parlor trick." He wryly said as he started moving his arms in all sorts of directions. At first, I thought he was getting senile, but then the water from the canteens on the incoming terrorists burst out and became an assortment of tentacles. Dancing some more, Gwonam thrusts his arms towards the enemies, crushing their rib-cages with the force of them all.
In a word...awesome.
"Oh!" He keeled over a bit before getting back up. "Sorry. These old bones are not exactly doing it well for me. Still, my magic is still nice. All I had to do to achieve this was to sleep underwater while holding my breath for months at a time."
"I'm surprised Sandy hasn't tried that." Squidward remarked, still mystified by what happened.
"You've been living underwater all your life. It might come more naturally towards you." Gwonam said with a smile.
"Nice...to know that." Squidward said, not sure what to say about.
After that revelation, we headed towards a room filled to the brim with praying.
-_-: I'd really hate to drop an atom bomb on their belief system right now, but I guess we don't have much of a choice.
Inside that room, they were praying to that orb like crazy. I think they thought it was a gift from Allah or something. I readied my mouth laser.
^-^: THIS IS FOR 9-11!
"Uh, Ridley, I do not think this is the right time for-"
No dice, Magic-Man!
BOOM!
With that, Gwonam and I ran for our lives and Squidward held on to me like there was no tomorrow. The cave began to crumble around us and, just in the nick of time, we escaped.
"Well, that was sort of anti-climatic." I sighed.
"It's good enough for me." Squidward breathed.
"It's like a battle with Ganon. Throw a book/wand at him and he's once again imprisoned." The wizard said as he dusted off his hat.
^-^: These guys need to learn how to have some fun.
-_-: The squid's just not used to what we do.
Suddenly, as if my calls for adventure were answered, I heard a rumbling from the rubble. The orb burst out and it looked pretty pissed! Let me type in the fact that it brought about a bunch of babes for us to-
-_-: We're MARRIED, MIND YOU!
SH*T! Forget I said anything! Okay. Squidward just ran and hid while the orb was causing some sand and pieces of metal to float around. There were 6 drills, 2 flamethrowers, and a mini-gun. Geez, what was going on? Was this its way to use LEGOs?
Then I felt 2 of my toes get torn off! It hurt like hell! They seemed get inside the orb itself, which, in turn, was getting inside whatever doohickey construct it was making.
"A mechanical terror comes! Brace yourselves!" Gwonam held onto his hat.
After some minutes-
-_-: In which you could have shot it!
^-^: Lay off, pal! I wanna see where this goes!
When it finished, YIKES! It was a giant scorpion made of purple, electrified sand (just roll with it!) that had flamethrower tips in inside of its pinchers, drills on its legs, and a mini-gun on its tail-tip.
(Hikko nukarete, anata dake ni tsuite iku)
"Wait a minute! What the hell's up with the music?!" I looked around. I mean REALLY?! A Japanese chant in a boss battle?! Change the music!
"Actually, I prefer what it is now." Gwonam said.
ZRRTT!
That's better, a rock theme!
-_-: We should care less about production values and worry more about-
SHOOM! SHOOM!
-_- and ^-^: THAT!
CRAP! I realized it absorbed my tech because, as you should know, Kakavantharian tech is the only thing that can hurt me. Apart from whenever my wife goes nuts on me. Now I was running around the place trying to avoid the flamethrowers that tried to burn my ass.
If that wasn't bad enough, the mini-gun tail started firing at me. REAL BULLETS HURT! None of this was fair!
"Watch closely, Squidward." Gwonam said as he did that funny arm movement thing again. Water from far beneath the earth rose up in tiny tentacles and battered the beast. It just shrugged them off, though. "I knew the lack of water would get in the way here." The wizard sighed.
-_- and ^-^: LOOK OUT!
I just realized it jumped high into the air and landed on me, its legs drilling into my body. I screamed and roared and screamed and roared until I thought 'What would Nicole be without me? The kids? Even Tom Fitzgerald?!
To answer my questions, I grabbed the legs of the monstrosity and, with sheer strength, lifted them off. The thing crumbled for a while before reforming to fire away with all weapons this time.
Dodging the attacks, I decided to fire some missiles from my chest at the flamethrowers. The claws blocked it! It didn't work! Now, on to plan B.
"YEOW! MY TAIL'S BURNING!" Then I got an idea (plan B was dumb, anyway. It involved throwing sand at the thing.). With my tail, I ripped the reloading Mini-gun right out of the construct and then I just FIRED AWAY! YE-HAW!
The thing was starting to crumble with its inner core being damaged so much. DOUBLE POINTS FOR DESTROYING THOSE FLAMTHROWERS! SUCK IT!
However, the beast reared up and was ready to impale me once again with those damn drills, but that plan fell flat on its face!
-_-: We had to tell you to shoot the now-exposed core in its stomach.
^-^: Less talk, MORE VIOLENCE!
BOOM GOES THE CORE! With the dignity only a dying yet graceful beast could make out...it just collapsed and fell to pieces. Ummm...manly tears were shed? 'Twas beauty that killed the beast? Nah, who cares.
"Is it gone yet?" said Squidward, who had just looked out of his hiding spot.
"Yeah, you still remember that problem Sir talked about? Well, I just took care of it." I said.
^-^: Like a boss!
-_-: Huzzah.
"The battle is not over yet. I can still sense the core." Gwonam said.
"...Well, crap." I muttered.
The orb re-energized and the sand around it became hot as hell! Sure, it looked cooler near the core, but it was hot around nonetheless. Even I wasn't that crazy about the heat.
The sand formed a shuriken like saw-blade and it neared towards us.
"Before we die, allow me to play a few notes." Squidward said before getting out his clarinet. Surprisingly, he was actually pretty good with it. Not the music I wanted to hear when I died, though.
BZIT!
Another portal came! Oh, joy! Who this time?
A pug. A pug that sneezed on the ground after a moment.
"A most unexpected savior! Or perhaps an unhappy accident." Gwonam exclaimed.
"What...is that." Squidward now looked glum as usual. "I don't even want to know."
"We're f&#$ed. Plain and simple." I shrugged.
The pug then started to bark and run towards the orb. It looked adorable, but not when you consider he's gonna get burnt/shredded to nothing.
"Hey! Bad dog! Heel!" I shouted, attempting to get him out of here.
-_-: You don't speak dog.
"Hey. Never stopped me before." I reminded the voice.
Suddenly, the dog's eyes glowed red and whips of heat erupted from his back. They injected themselves into the sand and began to pump an even hotter liquid into it. I mean, steam was rising out of the pug's mouth for pete's sake!
Eventually, the heat was too much for the orb to bear. It's barrier was breaking and it was then exposed to the whips. The lava-like liquid was turning the purple orb into a smouldering raisin and it soon dissipated. The sand fell to the floor.
The pug looked at us and it ran up to me. It began to lick my tail.
"Awwww, who's a good Deus Ex Machina? Who's a good one?" I said, scratching its ears.
"Ahem!" Sir shouted from Squidward's watch. "How did Cerberus get there with you?! That's two of Z-Squared's pets already! One more and I'll have to storm his house! Again."
"However he got here, he got us out of that mess." Squidward reminded. "I mean, what is he even?"
"He is a pug with a mutant ability. My brother got him when he was but a puppy." Sir explained. "Apparently, his ability manifested when somebody tried to hit him with a baseball bat."
"Fascinating. Another one to help us in our journey!" Gwonam said. "Only one more orb to go!"
Just then, a jet started flying by and it transformed into some kind of weird robot that I just couldn't help but laugh at! There was also a Harpy Eagle wearing a tattered scarf that was perched on his shoulder.
Cerberus ran towards the bot and the eagle flew down to his level. They seemed to know each-other quite a bit, judging by how much the bird allowed itself to be sniffed.
"I see Sir was right. You two were taking care of that second-what are you laughing at?"
Squirdward had fainted, but I just kept laughing. "Your heels are showing! HAHA!"
He looked down and then gave me some weird, mean look. "You shut your mouth, creature! Sir said we're supposed to be working together and already I regret that decision."
-_-: I think that would be Starscream from that other famous series.
^-^: What? The new one with Optimus Prime and that dragon-bot? PUH-LEASE! We're much better than that!
-_-: I wouldn't say that if I were you.
"Okay. I am CLEARLY dreaming! Humans, robots, wizards, and dragons! There's only so much I can take in one day!" Squidward despaired.
"Oh, be quiet, organic." Starscream sneered.
"Remember what I said." Gwonam put a hand on his shoulder. "That you have much to look forward to after this."
"Like the mental ward?" Squidward quipped. "Sorry. I feel better now."
"Very good." Gwonam smiled. Seriously. That thing he does with the eyes when he does that...guh.
"Sir called me earlier to tell you the third and final orb is in the Himalayas." Starscream said.
"Wait!" I shouted. "We're going to need to fly to get there! Can I fly that random plane over there! I've always wanted to fly that type of plane!"
"You wish." 'Screamer said. I like that nickname!
A few moments later,
Well, I managed to goad them into having me fly the plane! They, of course, thought my expert flying was nothing more than 'playing with the controls and messing everything up'. Starscream was starting to strangle me in both anger and fear while Squidward was holding on for dear life. Gwonam covered his face in terror while Cerberus kept running around. Fofo (seriously, THAT was her name) was flying about, clawing at anything in sight.
"WOW-WEE!" I shouted as we approached our destination.
"RIDLEY, STOP FOOLING AROUND!" Gwonam pleaded.
"YOU CAN'T JUST KILL US ALL!" Starscream yelled at the top of his lungs.
"LOL!" I inquired.
"SQUAWK!" Fofo managed to claw one of my eyes out.
"AROOOO-ROO-ROO-ROO!" Cerberus despaired.
"RIDLEY, LOOK OUT!" Squidward said as I safely landed the plane.
-_-: You mean 'crashed it into a mountain'?
Oh. Nevermind. Ummm....I guess....
Meanwhile in New York (and away from my narration)...
Fluttershy was the first to wake up after a rest period the team had. They were still trapped in that sizable prism prison. Still pining for a way to get out.
She looked around for the umpteenth time. The city was still a total wreck. It was a grim sight for sorry eyes. However, the one thing that got her attention was the jailer.
The Golem was awake a bit, but he seemed to be keeling over in pain. Something was stirring in him that he didn't like. It was a bit pitiful.
"Are you...okay?" She asked. The beast turned his head towards her. She let out a quick gasp but her fear vanished when he just continued to stare.
Something about that look in his eyes was...dead. Like there was no energy behind them. He just looked so sad.
"You know...you don't have to do this." She pleaded. "You don't have to destroy things. Just let us go and apologize to the poor people you terrorized."
The golem said nothing, but he made the a body motion akin to a sigh of deflation. He picked up a random piece of rubble and examined it.
"See? Making rubble is bad." Fluttershy said. "Maybe you could build something out of what you destroyed. Try to make it...better?"
Deep inside, she just wanted him to set them free. Yet, she knew he couldn't register that command. After all, he would have let them go long ago after their fight.
To her surprise, he began to stack rubble pieces onto of each-other. The word 'build' must have gotten to him. He seemed to like what he made as he worked a bit faster in making piles of junk and stuff.
'At least he isn't as evil as one would think.' She thought to herself. 'Maybe this could help us after all.'
...TO BE CONTINUED! Alright, now for the credits!
Author's Note
Notable Music:
Meta Ridley Introduction-Deadpool Theme from Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3
Nothing except Sir and the Scorpion construct belong to me. At least that's what the COPYRIGHTS WANT ME TO SAY! Sorry.
^-^: Will we see them soon?
-_-: They always do. They always do.
