It's Not About Winning. It's About the Body Count.

I can't believe it. Somehow, it actually happened.

Okay, so my name's Jeff and I'm a big fan of the Saint's Row franchise. I've played every game 100%, and I own all the DLC. My favorite character has always been Johnny Gat. And even though I've fanfiction after fanfiction, I thought "What's the harm in dressing as him for Comic Con". That would turn out to be the worst mistake ever.

Believe it or not, I had a really good costume. I decided to go with Johnny from Gat Out of Hell, because I could never get over how cool those runes on his arms are. And of course, as the story goes, I was missing one part of my costume. I can't believe it's so hard to find sunglasses. I even meticulously tore a purple coat just to make it look like the game sprite, and it was all ruined with out the sunglasses. But alas, my search was in vain.

So I get to the convention, and lo and behold, It's more crowded than a TF2 server. Somehow I make it inside and I start looking around. There were so many good costumes, I had a hard time believing these people were not full time costume designers (though some of them may have been).

I was walking around and a booth caught my eye and I walked over to it. This guy manning the booth looked exactly like the merchant from Resident Evil, but for some reason I did quite notice.

"See anything you like?" he said, in a voice that sounds a little uncomfortable.

I looked the booth over and, what a coincidence, he had an exact replica of Gat's glasses.

"How much are those sunglasses." I said, my accent was impeccable.

"Ten dollars."

While that does seem a bit steep for sunglasses, it wasn't unreasonable. I paid him and took the sunglasses.

When I put on the sunglasses, I realized I couldn't see through them. I tried to take them off but I couldn't feel my arms. It wasn't until later I realized I had blacked out.