Chapters Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE BEFORE STARTING
>Let's Begin!
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
This is the post office. As you are NOT pony princess, you have to use Derpy-mail rather than much more efficient dragon-mail. Rest assured, that will change one day if continue working as any great capitalist can become a pony-princess with personal dragon slaves. But for now, you need to use the slow (*herp-derp*) method.
Along the backwall behind the counter, you can see an array of countless cubbies filled with mail of various sorts. Countless other ponies are rushing into the post office, plead with one of the ponies to retrieve their pathetic parchment from the wall-holes, and leave with their humble bundles. It's sad to think about how many ponies have to use this system, but you remind yourself that not everyone can be fabulous. Then you remember that you are among that group, and become sad again.
>Swallow your pride and approach the counter
>Leave the post office with your tail tucked in shame
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
Swallow your pride and approach the counter
Select the correct option:
#This is your first time in the post office
You've just reconnected with one of your friends (Only Main Six count, you'll know whenever this occurs)
You've just reconnected with a second friend
You've just reconnected with a third friend
You've just reconnected with four of your friends
#You've just reconnected with all five of your friends
Otherwise, go here
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
NW Canterlot
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You take several deep breathes as your brace yourself to mingle with all these commoners.
Greetings Fellow Elements of Harmony,
It has been years since I have spoken to any of you. I've been so caught up in my work as Princess of Friendship, that I've forgotten to keep in touch. I know, that's pretty ironic being the princess of friendship and all. So I decided to host a renuion party at my castle this month! Please RSVP about whether or not you will be able to attend.
Your friend, Twilight Sparkle.
>Write an RSVP to Twilight
>Ignore it and leave the post-office
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You are Rarity, the most fabulous pony in all Equestria. You are currently living in your boutique in Canterlot because you have decided now that all your friends have abandoned you (jerks) that generosity is no longer important and that you're just gonna get rich as you possibly can by selling dresses. That's a good venture to get rich in, right?
So far, you've done pretty well. You've managed to sell like at least four dresses for like, a bunch of bits. You haven't really paid attention to exactly how much, you've got Sassy Saddles to keep track of all that for you, but you know you're financially secure, and if you keep at, you'll soon have enough money to buyout of Canterlot through the virtue of Capitalism . You just need to work hard, exploit your employee's labor, scam customers, extensively advertise to convince people they need a product they don't even want, accumulate capital, and pursue your dreams!
Speaking of pursuing your dreams, right now you are sleeping in your lush bed, mentally enslaving the inhabits of Saddle Arabia so you can start a new ethnic line of shawls. Sadly, you are brought out of your fantasy by the light of the rising sun. Curse Celestia! Now you are faced with a terrible dilemma: should you get off your marshmallow butt and attempt to actually realize dream, or should you return to the blissful oblivion that is sleep?
>Get off your marshmallow butt
>Go back to sleep
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You are woken from you sleep by the smell of charring flesh. You groggily look out the window, and see a blackened landscape. This is due to the fact the atmosphere suddenly caught on fire, including all the air in your lungs. It turns out that is very distracting; it makes it very hard to keep sleeping. Not only is it very distracting, but Equestria is now very destroyed, and you are very dead. Guess you should have had a slightly shorter nap?
The End
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
Magically pinching your nose, you step into the shelter. It's not enough, and the sudden wave of stench causes you throw up in your mouth. You swallow it back down. Hey, better to eat your breakfast twice than to let it go to waste and make this disgusting place even more disgusting. Though it tastes much grosser the second time down.
The shelter is full with several mangey beds with unfashionable ponies laying in them. You notice there is one puke green one sitting next to door wearing mud colored rags. You wonder why he even bothers to wear anything, and then realize the inherent irony of the fact that while you sell clothes, you generally strut around naked. At least Sassy wears a dress, and Coco has that dorky...thing she wears around her neck. You think for a second, and realize that as unfashionable as your parents are, they still usually wear clothes. Really, it's just your close friends who typically wear nothing. Of all of them, really only Applejack wasn't a nudist as she does have a hat. Must have been a good thing you've given up on friendship, as those Ponyville ponies are a bad influence. Oh well. He also has a mangey looking dog sitting next to him, scratching fleas. You can't identify the breed, so it must be a mutt of some sort. Typical for such undignified ponies to not care about pedigree.
A slightly better dressed unicorn approaches you. She is wearing a smock stained it you-don't-even-want-to-know, but at least it doesn't have holes it. Her coat is also a pale grey, and her mane is darker shade and pulled back into a practical bun. She starts to speak to you in a low, grainy but tender voice, and you can't help but scare at her crooked yellow teeth.
"Hello madame. Thank you for coming to my humble shelter. We are currently looking for donations to support the wave of refugees that came in with the fall of the Crystal Empire, but the local homeless population is always in need of assistence. Would you please open your heart and show some generosity? "
How generous are you feeling?
Generous? HA! Rarity is no longer the element of generosity, she is now a wealthy capitalist! The gods will tremble at your new found power. Show her just how generous you are by kicking that stupid excuse for a pony's stupid excuse for a dog!
>Not that generous. Make up an excuse to be polite and leave.
Offer to make a deal for discounted clothes. Not out of generosity, but to resolve this crime against fashion.
Maybe you're feeling a little bit generous and could spare a few bits.
True generosity is not sprinkling a few bits for the poor. That is merely an act of moral masturbation and makes no real difference in the lives of others. No, you'll work out a partnership to continuously boost the infrastructure of this institution for generations to come.
>You're feeling super generous! So generous in fact that you've decided your own life doesn't even really matter, these random hobos are much more important. Offer to give them your vital organs!
*Give them your health potion.
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
"I AM FEELING SO GENEROUS! PLEASE DRIVE A KNIVE INTO MY SIDE AND HARVEST MY KIDNEYS AND LUNGS. YOUR PATIENTS NEED THEM. TAKE MY HEART, IT IS FULL OF GENEROSITY. CONSUME IT AND YOU SHALL NEVER HUNGER AGAIN. Oh, but please be careful not to get any blood on my coat, it's much too pretty to ruined in such a manner. "
The nurse pony slowly back away from you with her eyes wide.
"Well, I'm af-fraid we d-don't need any or-organ transplants right now, so I-I must refuse your offer."
Humph. How ungrateful!
>Leave the shop with a haughty puff to show your dissatisfaction.
>Maybe you should tone it down just a bit. Your body will probably be more useful alive than dead. Offer yourself as their slave.
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
"Well, we always love volunteers, but first off, slavery is against Equestrian labor laws, sec-"
It sounds like they want your help!
"THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING MY HUMBLE OFFER! I'LL GET STARTED RIGHT AWAY!"
Before she can finish speaking, you start licking dirt off of the floor. Yes, it is absolutely disgusting and tastes horrendous, but you've learned there are things more important than your comfort or dignity, like whether the floor is dirty or not. You are interrupted by the grey mare, who shoves a mop into your face.
"Well if you are going to do this at least use a mop!"
As you are now a slave, you spend the night in the shelter. You are homeless now, yet you have a home. Overtime, they begin to accept you in the shelter, and they appreciate all the hard work you provide. Sometimes you wonder what it might have been like if you decided to pursue your dreams, but it's too late for that now. You are now an eternal slave, and that is no longer an option. But you've found that even if you had the option, you probably wouldn't, as you've come to love this slavery.
THE END
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
SE
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
That is your mirror. It's absolutely beautiful. More ever, you are absolutely beauti- AGH! WHAT IS THAT! It appears you are slowly emaciating! Better go eat something fast!
>Go back to bed
>Look at the clock
>Go down to the main floor
>Go down to the backroom
>Go to the kitchen
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You manage to move to the next room, but then you find that you lack the energy to continue doing what you were doing. You look down on your beautiful ribs, and find they are now completely emaciated. How dreadful! You no longer have energy to breathe either, but your beautiful figure! It's gone! And you're dead!
The End
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
The most delicious option will obviously be the donuts in the fridge, but they have no nutritional value, and will cause you to become fat.
>CUPBOARD
>FRIDGE
>TOAST
>Continue to overthink things
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
After thinking about the situation for several hours if not days, you've come to realize that you've been standing in the doorway the whole time. Maybe if you continue moving forward you'll disrupt the equilibrium and be able to make a conclusion...
>Advance forward
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
Yes. Fridge. Inside are several items, but the most prominent breakfast items are orange juice, milk, eggs, and secret stash of donuts (don't tell anyone!). The eggs will take too long to prepare in your famished state, so they can be ruled out.
>ORANGE JUICE
>MILK
>DONUTS
>Too many choices here, go try the cupboard
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You burn the orange juice.
>Drink it anyway
>Look for something else in the fridge.
>Give up on breakfast and go back to your room.
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
Inside you find cereal as you were expecting. However, all has not been resolved, as there are multiple brands of cereal as well as oatmeal. Your gut rejects all, but two. Now you need to decide between Hay-flex and Barley-bits. The fact they are virtually identical causes all the more anxiety. For some reason Soarin enters your mind, but you aren't sure way.
>Hay-flex
>Barley-bits
>Ergh, too many choices. Go make toast.
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
Toast. Now you just need to remember how to convert bread into toast, as that is a loaf of bread, not a loaf of toast. A pre-made loaf of toast would be pretty fabulous though.
>Put toaster on top of the bread
>Put bread in toaster
>Eat the bread untoasted
>Try something else which requires less assembly in the fridge
>Give up on breakfast and go back to your room.
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You manage to gag down the orange juice. YUK! Somehow enough calories weren't converted to carbon in order for you to ward off starvation, and you come back to your senses. At this point you wonder how you managed to burn orange juice. This remarkable ability must run in the family.
>Reorient yourself to your surroundings
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You chug down the milk. Unfortunately, you're so vain that it's skim milk, so it lacks the fat needed to save you.
>Look for something else the fridge
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
Yeah, the donuts. To be a model, one's figure must be slim, but you will never get there because you keep binging on donuts. You would purge, but being an educated unicorn you know purging little to stop calorie absorption. Recently you've got enough willpower to just fast, but you can't keep it up anymore. You silently cry as you binge once again, knowing once again you failed. Realistically suddenly absorbing so much food after neglecting your digestive system for so long would kill you, but you're a magic flippin' unicorn, so you survive.
>Take in the kitchen through teary eyes
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
The indescribable, everchanging landscape of chaos stretches in all directions.
Head North
Head West
Head East
Head South
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
Good choice! You start gnawing on the grain based cereal (or should I say cereal based cereal!) and slowly your hunger is abated. You think it would probably have been better to eat the cereal with milk, but since there is no milk in the cupboard that is sadly not an option. Either way, you are now back to perfect health. What a nutritious breakfast!
>Bask in your new found glory in the kitchen
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You are surrounded by the unnatural trees of the Everfree forest, trees that grow on their own! You are utterly lost, but you know if you keep pushing through you'll eventually reach safety. Better hurry, as you know what happens to ponies who stay inside for too long...
...though part of you wonders what horrors you could find if you dared to explore this haunted place.
North
East
South
West
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You put the toaster on top of the bread, and that apparently fails to toast your bread. Huh, guess toasting is harder than you thought.
>Put bread in toaster
>Eat the bread untoasted
>Try something else which requires less assembly in the fridge
>Give up on breakfast and go back to your room.
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You put the bread in the toaster. Nothing happens. Just as you are about to break down in despair you remember you're also supposed to push down the little push-down thingy on the side, so you do so. The toaster then eats your bread and glows with satisfaction. Your burst into tears, crying at the loss of your breakfast, but then toast pops out of the toaster. Huh. You eat the toast, it is most crunchy and delicious. As the calories power your mind you realize how dumb you were for forgetting how to toast works.
>Reassess the kitchen with embarrassment
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
As making toast is apparently to difficult, you reason that your best option is just to eat the bread raw(?). You gag down the soft grain-foam, though it really isn't that bad. Now nourished, you can focus on more than just food.
>Take a second look at that kitchen
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
Alas. The kitchen. This where you keep your food and sometimes attempt to cook things. The floor is decorated with porcelain white tile, which while beautiful, is a mistake in retrospect as the all the food you spilled onto the floor is way too apparent. The kitchen is dominated by two main appliances, an oven and a fridge. The fridge is a plain white, both being practical and fitting the general aesthetics of the room, and it's all you could afford anyway. The stove is a bit more ornate, as the discount stove just looked out of place, but you know it was much cheaper than it actually looks. You're not hungry anymore, so let's go back to your room.
Return to your room
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
He ducks in the back and quickly comes up back with a crate full of bottles of glue, each sporting the emblem of a grinning bear. You've always found it to be rather creepy, but you know the quality they ensure.
"Here you go, a case of Krastos-brand glue, just as you like it. That'll be 15 bits. Is there anything else you'd like?"
Order a crate of gems
Get some glitter
Secure some sequences
Gather a bundle of paper
Pay and leave
Steal the glue without paying
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You've just reconnected with all five of your friends
You are handed (or should I say HOOFED YEAHH!) a sloppily folded scrap of paper. A note on the outside says it's a letter from Twilight. You flip it open and start reading it.
Dear Rarity, or should I say "Rarity",
I know you are not Rarity, you are just an imposter. You are a player, a reader, nothing more. More over, you are a LIAR. There is no way you could have reconnected with all your friends in this scene, as it's impossible to reconnect with me until you have passed the point of no return for wining this game. YOU CHEATED. Cheating is not harmonious. I am ashamed of you.
Your "friend", Twilight Sparkle
PS. Look over your shoulder.
You feel heavy breathing behind you. You slowly turn around and find yourself face-to-nostril with Celestia, the sun monarch herself. Before you can explain yourself you find yourself flying through the sky. I hope you like the scenery on the moon. On the plus side, you get a pretty good view of Equestria from up here.
THE END
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
Mustering all the effort that could be contained within one fabulous little pony, you somehow manage to escape the clutches of your sheets and force yourself onto the floor in a most ungraceful manner. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
>Bravely look around room
>Return to the comfort and safety that is your bed
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
That's right! Screw work. Whatever you were supposed to do, Sassy can take care of it, you're rich enough that you don't have to care. By the virtue of capitalism, you'll make a profit anyway, as possessing capital IS a form of hard work. Not like you would have to care anyway. It is better to pursue fantasy than reality, for reality is limited by physical constraints, while fantasy is only limited by the stretch of the imagination. The hedonist does not care if the whole world dies, as long as they can experience pleasure within the refuge of their own mind. If one could imagine the pleasure of taste, and ignore the pain of hunger, there would be no need to eat...
...though it turns out, you are not "one", and you are really freaking hungry. Your nap is interrupted by hunger pains you find yourself unable to imagine away. Maybe you should get up just to get something to eat.
>Get up so you may hunt for food (From the fridge, literally hunting for food is way too messy for a proper lady like you)
>Sleep until the end of the world, nothing really matters anyway
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You thank the goddess Harmony for giving you the strength to get out of bed, and through half-shut eyes you begin to take in the details of a room you've seen many times before. The key features are the bed from which you have just arose, a clock which can be used to tell time (who would have ever guessed?), a mirror on a different part of the wall (by far the most important feature of the room), a window giving you a view out onto Canterlot, and various doors leading to others rooms. Namely, there is a staircase leading down to the main floor of the boutique, a ladder leading to the storage room, a door leading to the kitchen, and another door leading to the washroom. Speaking of the latter, surprisingly you don't feel the the urge to attend your "ladiely" needs despite just waking up - rather, you are EXTREMELY hungry.
>Go back to bed
>Look at the clock
>Admire your reflection in the mirror
>Go down to the main floor
>Go down to the backroom
>Go to the kitchen
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
That is your clock. It would be made of the finest mahogany with mother of pearl and gold leaf inlay, but you're not THAT successful. Oh well. It dispays the time as "BREAKFAST TIME *HINT HINT* *NUDGE NUDGE*". Hmm, I wonder what you should do?
>Go back to bed
>Admire your reflection in the mirror
>Go down to the main floor
>Go down to the backroom
>Go to the kitchen
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
Yes. This is your kitchen. You would take in the details of this familiar room, but your analytical mind has shut down in favor of animalistic instincts. Inside you is a ravenous demon, and it can only be satisfied with food. Fortunately, food is the primary inhabitant of the kitchen.
The primary question now is what to eat for breakfast. You have several options presented in front of you of roughly equal distance from the door, and you find yourself becoming Buridan's unicorn. If you don't make a choice soon, you will surely starve to death. Thus the analytic mind must temporarily re-engage in order to resolve this dilemma. To your left is cupboard with cereal or something like that in it. In front of you is a fridge, among other things it has orange juice, as well as a secret stash of donuts. To the right is the oven and a toaster, presumably for making toast. A loaf of bread is sitting next to the toaster.
>CUPBOARD
>FRIDGE
>TOAST
>Obtain further analysis in order to make an informed decision
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
Once again you are at Zecora's hut. The crazy zebra may have terrible fasion sense, but she is extremely useful, and her tremendous wisdom or potions may prove to be useful on your quest. Right now you find her huddling over some sort of bubbly potion which resembles mud. You briefly imagine what it would be like if a blob of that were to land on your coat, then you quickly kill that train of thought, it's too horrible.
"Hello Zecora, I was wondering if you could hel-"
"Urg, so want do you want?
I don't got time for your taunt."
Ask if she knows where any pony went.
Ask about her potion stock
Ask for advice
This is getting awkward. Excuse yourself and leave.
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
You start to write a response to Twilight, but it's dreadful, so you cross it out. You attempt this several more, slowly filling up the the wastebasket in the post office. Now you're sketching out the design for a new dress, one sure to make millions. It started out as doodle while brainstorming about whether to say "Greetings" , "Hello", or "Salutations", then you started brainstorming dress ideas, and it just blossomed from there.
Just then you hear a cough and turn. The mare assigned to watch the public stationary glares at you angrily.
"Are you going to continue wasting our ink and occupying space that other ponies could be using to actually write letters, or are you going to delay your frivolous activities until you are at home with your OWN paper?"
You hastily apologize, grab the diagram, and walk to the exit. Oh well, you can just write the response later.
>Leave the post-office
Rariquest: The Quest for More Money
One reason for your choice of the location of the Canterlot Boutique was for it's close proximity to Barley Pin's Supply Store. He has become a good friend of yours, and gives you discounted prices. You step into the garish shop, docking through the streamers, and ring the bell on the glitter covered counter. Out of the backroom comes the familiar green unicorn and his odd red rata-tat-tat mane which are somewhere between dreadlocks and curls. They would upset your fashion sense, but you've come to find they fit his art quite well.
"G'dday, Miss Rarity. Nice to see you. How may I help you today?"
Talk with Barley Pin
>Get some glue
Order a crate of gems
Get some glitter
Secure some sequences
Gather a bundle of paper
Leave the shop