Journal of a Damned Man

12/19/16 – Morning

I am… disturbed. Last night’s events are concerning beyond my ability to exaggerate. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I will begin this entry where I left off, on Saturday night.

I relieved myself as quickly as I could when I had to go to the bathroom. Part of basic training is unlearning some of your modesty. There isn’t much privacy on the battlefield, and you can’t afford to be paralyzed with embarrassment when you have to drop your trousers and take a shit under fire. But I’m still a Christian, not a streaker, and I don’t exactly feel comfortable around these creatures. They’ll do whatever they can to degrade me, to break my spirit. I just know it. I can’t see them, but I know they’re watching me. I can feel the eyes.

She came back around eight, allegedly to wish me goodnight. Told me that I should get a good night’s sleep, that it would be good for me. I didn’t trust her a New York Second, obviously, but I returned her apparent well-wishes. She didn’t seem to believe me any more than I, her. I’ve got to get better at this lying business if I’m going to survive here.

I just realized what I wrote. They’re getting to me already. I must trust in the Lord to see me through, not the tricks and craft of the devil.

I got into the room’s bed, but I didn’t go to sleep. Not because the bed’s too short for me – unlike the ones on the train, this one’s plenty big. Overly so, in fact. Bigger than king size. I guess if you’re royalty you can afford that sort of shit. Real soft, too. I’ve got to make sure I don’t let them trick me into believing that their intentions are anything other than hellish. No, it’s not that I didn’t sleep out of discomfort. Yesterday (tomorrow, at the time) was Sunday, and there’s no way I’m going to enjoy physical pleasures in a demonic world on a day that’s supposed to dedicated to the heavenly world.

You know, I was never that great about devoting my Sundays to God before, but being here really makes sin seem like much more of an immediate threat to my own wellbeing. Maybe God allowed this to happen to me to strengthen my faith and make me a better person. If so, I hope I don’t disappoint Him.

So I resisted the urge to sleep, instead passing the night in prayer. It was a lot harder than I expected. Another product of being in the military is that you get used to not sleeping, so it really confused me that I had so much trouble staying up for just one night. At the time, I just attributed it to being in such a comfy bed, but now, I think there’s more to it.

I had expected Twilight Sparkle to come in during the middle of the night to assault me in my sleep, but she never showed. Thinking about it now, I realize it was a foolish fear. If she wished to physically attack me, she could do so at any time. What I have to be concerned about is the attacks on my soul.

A faint glow came to the room as the Sun rose on the Lord’s Day. Throwing off the covers, I walked over to the window and knelt in front of it. Even if that “Celestia” Twilight Sparkle spoke about causes the sunrises here, she does so only with God’s permission, and they still proclaim His glory. As I watched the Sun creep over the hills, I sang. “Holy, holy, holy! Lord God Almighty! Early in the morning our song shall rise to Thee.”

I was in the middle of “Be Thou My Vision” when there was a knock on the door. “Daniel Murphy?” I heard Twilight Sparkle say. “Can I come in? There’s somepony I want to introduce you to.” I ignored her and continued singing. “Daniel Murphy? Daniel Murphy? I can hear you, you know.” There was a muffled conversation on the other side of the door, then Twilight Sparkle spoke again. “I’m coming in. If you really don’t want to be interrupted, you have to say something now.” Still, I just kept singing. She sighed. “Okay, I’m opening the door.” I heard it softly creak open, but she stayed silent as I sang.

“Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.”

She seemed to realize that was the end of the hymn, and I heard her and another one of these creatures enter. The new one spoke first, sounding cautious. “That was… very nice. What was it?”

Twilight Sparkle quickly spoke up. “Trust me, Starlight, you really don’t want to get him started on –”

I cut her off. “It’s ‘Be Thou My Vision,’ a hymn written in Ireland over fourteen hundred years ago by Dallán Forgaill.”

“Wow,” the one called Starlight said. “That’s old.”

I smiled. “Yes, but God is far older, and He never changes, so the words are still relevant.”

“Really? I –”

“That’s fascinating,” Twilight Sparkle hurriedly interrupted, clearly realizing that the conversation was going in a direction she didn’t like, “but you haven’t even been properly introduced yet. Starlight Glimmer, meet Daniel Murphy. Daniel Murphy, meet Starlight Glimmer.”

“It’s… good to meet you,” Starlight Glimmer said. “You can call me Starlight.”

I snorted, still not turning to look at them. “I guess you can call me Sergeant Murphy. Hearing you use my full name all the time is getting very annoying, very fast.”

“But that’s just as long,” Twilight Sparkle pointed out, sounding confused.

I groaned. “Fine,” I spat. “Just ‘Murphy.’”

“See? We’re making progress already!” I could hear the smile in her voice.

I glowered. “I take it back. Call me Daniel Murphy.”

She sighed, and I heard her hooves on the stone floor as she walked towards me. “Look, Murphy, there’s no reason to be hostile. I just want to…” She trailed off and quickly backed away. “Urgh! When was the last time you washed?!”

“Four days ago. And I’ve worn these same clothes for almost that whole time. So, yeah, I fuckin’ stink. I did yesterday, too. You didn’t mention it then.”

“Yeah, but I thought you would bathe last night. You did notice the tub in the bathroom, right?”

“Sure. But I’m not getting undressed around you monsters. And if it keeps you away from me, so much the better. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m supposed to be devoting my day to worshipping God, not talking with you.” I started singing “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross.”

“Look,” she groaned, “you’ve got to get washed up. For your own health, if for no other reason.”

“My richest gain I count but loss.”

“I don’t want to wash you like a foal, but if I have to…”

My throat constricted. “You… you wouldn’t.” The stony silence that greeted me was sufficient response. I stood up and turned around, noticing that the second creature was a grayish-pink colored unicorn with bluish-purple eyes and a neon purple mane with light blue streaks. My main focus, though, was on Twilight Sparkle. She had a hard look in her eye, a look that showed she would accept no further argument. I can’t fight her – her demonic powers are greater than I can overcome. I only had a choice between complying with her demand and possibly saving a little of my dignity or making her work to traumatize me. I knew I couldn’t put up enough resistance to really trouble her, so, feeling sick, I picked the first option. “Fine,” I hissed, and marched past her. As I went, I grabbed the bed stand.

“What’s that for?” she asked.

“Barricading the door,” I replied. “I’m taking every precaution to protect myself from you.”

“Why would you think I’d want to hurt you?”

“Let’s see, I suddenly found myself in this fucked up world for absolutely no Goddamned reason…”

“Which I had nothing to do with, and as far as we know, neither did anypony else.”

“There was the ambush at the train station…”

“We went over this already. That wasn’t an ambush; they were your escort.”

“The fact that I’m being held here against my will…”

“That’s your own fault. If you weren’t a huge jerk to everypony, you could have gone home yesterday.”

“And that you’re not human.”

“… I don’t have anything to say to that. That’s just… How can you just assume that anypony who isn’t human is out to get you?”

“Very easily.”

“That wasn’t…” She sighed, shook her head, and pressed a hoof to her forehead. “Just clean yourself up, will you?”

“Fine,” I said again. I dragged the bed stand into the bathroom behind me, closed and locked the door, and jammed the bed stand under the doorknob. It wouldn’t stop her, but maybe it would give me a little extra time to prepare myself. I drew a bath and undressed, though I left my boxers on. I had to preserve at least some of my modesty, after all. I lowered myself into the water, then gasped and stiffened when a sharp pain ran up my left bicep. I hadn’t noticed it before, but the Celtic cross tattooed there was bleeding, its intricate lines marked in red instead of black.

“Always a problem, aren’t you?” I asked it. I’m proud of my heritage, but that tattoo has never caused me anything but trouble. My parents are deeply opposed to tattoos in general, and some of the people in my congregation don’t like me wearing a historically Catholic symbol. The brass didn’t like it either. I had to get a genealogist to prove that I actually have Irish ancestry so they wouldn’t discharge me – as if having the last name “Murphy” isn’t proof enough. But even with all that, I wouldn’t get it removed for all the world.

I washed quickly. The water felt more like alcohol on my cuts, as if I needed another reason to get the bath over with as fast as possible. Fortunately, the bathroom had a medical cabinet with some bandages I could wrap my arm in. As I closed the cabinet, I took a moment to look at myself in the mirror. I frowned and ran my hand over the short, dark hair that had grown on my normally shaved head and face. In the unlikely event that these creatures prove to not be demons, I doubt they know what shaving is. I need to get my knife back. Before putting my shirt back on, I checked it for blood. It was clean, or at least not bloody. But if I was bleeding over such a large part of my arm, the sleeve should’ve been totally red. With a growl, I dressed, pulled the bed stand away from the door, and walked into the main bedroom.

Twilight Sparkle’s horn was glowing, and she and Starlight Glimmer were surrounded by a pink bubble. Her mouth was moving like she was talking, but I couldn’t hear any words. When she noticed me, the glow disappeared and the bubble popped loudly. She walked towards me with an obviously fake smile plastered on her face. “Hi, Murphy! Don’t you feel better after…” Her muzzle scrunched up. “I thought you were washing up!”

“I was,” I told her. “Your water bit me, by the way. And my clothes still have over three days’ worth of sweat and dirt on ’em.”

She frowned. “The water ‘bit’ you? What are you talking about?”

I patted the bulge in my sleeve, then winced when the action caused further pain. “Opened up my tattoo. Now, I know that can happen sometimes, with badly done tattoos, but I’ve had this thing for over a decade. I’m pretty damned sure it was something in your water. And you had absolutely nothing to do with that, of course.”

“No, I didn’t! Why do you always think we’re out to get you?”

“You haven’t exactly given me any reason to think otherwise,” I pointed out to her.

“You mean, aside from not leaving you to die in the desert?”

“So I could suffer more, and so you could have time to sway me. My death gains you nothing if I don’t give up my faith first.”

“I DON’T WANT YOU TO –!” She cut herself off with a grimace, breathed in loudly, crossed her right foreleg across her chest, and extended it in front of her with an equally loud exhale. A huge, shit-eating grin on my face, I copied the action, replacing the breathing with “Sieg heil!”

She dropped her leg to the ground and gave me a “What the fuck was that?” look. I raised my eyebrows in an attempt to look as innocent as possible, but I just couldn’t stop smiling. “Oh, sorry,” I said, lowering my arm and holding back laughter. “I’m guessing you weren’t showing your loyalty to the Führer and the Reich?”

“I don’t want to know what that means, do I?”

“Nope!”

She shook her head. “In that case, I won’t ask. But why would you put on dirty clothes?”

“Because they’re the only clothes I have here, you dipshit.”

“So? Just wash them and put them back on when they’re clean.”

“Oh, yeah? And what would I wear in the meantime? Should I just run around naked?”

“Well, if it’s good enough for a Princess…”

My momentary good mood had completely disappeared. If looks could kill – or, better yet, if I had a firearm – I would have slaughtered her right then and there. As it was, she seemed to catch the drift of my expression.

“Umm… Not an option, then?”

My response was to continue glaring at her.

She seemed to have an epiphany. “That’s right! You humans have a nudity taboo, don’t you? For you, it’s more like a pony walking around without fur than without clothes. But humans aren’t born with clothes, are they? Where’d the taboo come from?”

“No, we aren’t,” I told her. “As for the taboo, well…” I pulled my Bible out of my vest and opened it to Genesis 3. “Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made.

“He said to the woman, ‘Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?’ And the woman said to the serpent, ‘We may eat the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the middle of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’’ But the serpent said to the woman, ‘You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.’ So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.”

“And that’s an entirely true and accurate account, is it?” She asked, sounding skeptical.

“Absolutely,” I replied firmly as I tucked the Bible back into my pocket.

“Okay, ignoring the fact that that’s a religious story, you’re saying that the taboo comes from a magical tree and a talking snake. But I thought magic didn’t naturally exist in the human world? And that you were the only species that could speak without Equestrian magic?”

I snorted. “It isn’t ‘magic.’ It’s the power of God. The ‘serpent’ is the devil.”

“Right. Look, Murphy, I think –”

She was interrupted by a cough. We both turned with a start, suddenly remembering that Starlight Glimmer was in the room with us. “Um, Twilight?” she said. “You brought me with you for a reason?”

“Oh, right! Sorry, Starlight. Murphy, Starlight’s my first friendship student. I figured you could help each other in your lessons!”

“That would be a grand idea,” I deadpanned, “if I didn’t already know how to make friends. But the thing is, I do. I might not have many, but I have ’em.”

“Really? You haven’t seemed very friendly so far.”

“I said I have friends, not that I’m friendly. Those are very different things.”

She seemed deeply confused by that. “How can you make friends without acting friendly?”

“Shared hardship tends to do that to people.”

She got a glint, apparently of understanding, in her eye. “I know what that’s like,” she said, nodding. “I made my best friends when we worked together to defeat Nightmare Moon. If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have spared them a second glance. What brought you and your friends together?”

“Basic training and Fallujah. Well, that’s not strictly true. I met Ryan way the hell back in fifth grade.”

“How did you two become friends?” Starlight Glimmer wanted to know.

I smiled at the memory. “I kicked him in the balls.”

The two creatures looked stunned. “Umm… Care to elaborate?” Twilight Sparkle hesitantly asked.

“I was a pretty quiet kid back in elementary school, if you can believe it. Sat in the corner and read all the time. Never cared for sports or socializing like all the other kids.” Yeah, I know, weird for an enlistee (or any Texan for that matter), but we aren’t all dumb-as-fuck meatheads.

As I talked about my time in school, Twilight Sparkle smiled in a way I would normally describe as empathetic. Scary. But her grin evaporated as I continued. “I always considered sports a poor substitute for actual combat, and in a way, I considered most of my classmates as beneath me. Knew better than to say so, of course, but they took me for a typical nerd, so I got teased a lot. Didn’t matter much to me. If you can’t give less of a damn what other people think about you, then all the taunts in the world mean nothing. They finally figured out that I wasn’t really bothered in fourth grade, and they started getting aggressive. But you see, those weren’t just fantasy and sci-fi books I was reading. Some of ’em were human biology textbooks and self-defense manuals. I might not have had much muscle mass at the time, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t know how to make the most of what I did have. Near the end of fifth grade, I decided to let the bullies know that I was a better fighter than they were. They laughed, of course, but Ryan – he was one of the guys who picked on me – he figured that showing me up would be fun. He challenged me to lay him out in just one hit. So I kicked him in the balls. Sent him straight to his knees. His friends didn’t gang up on me, since they were too busy making sure he didn’t have to go to the hospital. A few days later, we were friends. He respected me for hurting him, and I respected him for not trying to sic anyone else on me.”

Twilight Sparkle looked a little sick. “That’s… unpleasant.” She sighed. “But I guess I could see Rainbow Dash or Applejack making a friend that way.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m so glad that my friendships meet with your approval. Can I go home now?”

She blinked, and seemed to think it over for a moment. But she shook her head. “Just because you can make friends doesn’t mean you really understand friendship. You did threaten to make Rainbow Dash eat herself, after all. I don’t think somepony who knows what it’s really all about would do that.”

I didn’t bother commenting yet again on the stupid “somepony” thing, instead saying, “Of fuckin' course. After all, you don’t actually care about all this ‘friendship’ bullshit. You’re just looking for a justification to keep me here and torture me.”

This time it was her turn to roll her eyes. “Sure,” she said flatly. “That’s absolutely it. You’re a genius.”

“It’s so nice to finally be appreciated as the magnificent bastard that I am.”

She did that weird breath thing again several times. I didn’t say anything this time, though I did whistle a verse of “Sieg Heil Viktoria.”

Starlight Glimmer pressed a foreleg to Twilight Sparkle’s side. “It’s okay, Twilight. He’s trying to annoy you, to control you by putting you off balance. Don’t let him.” She glared at me. “Don’t think you can manipulate anypony with me around. I know how that sort of thing works from personal experience.”

My thin smile didn’t reach my eyes. “Well, then, I’ll just have to find a way to make it so you aren’t around anymore, now won’t I?”

“Okay,” Twilight Sparkle snapped, “Lesson One in ‘How to Be a Better Po… er, Human.’ Don’t threaten others.”

“Or what?” I scoffed. “You’ll keep me here for two lifetimes, instead of one? Face it, cunt, you don’t have shit on me. You’re the stupidest demons I’ve ever heard of. You’re trying to get me to give up my beliefs, but you’re being so Goddamned obvious about it! You keep talking crap about ‘friendship’ and ‘niceness’ and bullshit like that, but that means you can’t really punish me for not doing what you want without being proven as total hypocrites. You’re fuckin’ idiots.”

“Have you considered the possibility,” Twilight Sparkle said quietly and slowly, her voice indicating barely contained rage, “that the reason this seems like a really dumb demonic conspiracy to you is because it isn’t a demonic conspiracy?”

“Sure,” I replied with a shrug. “But Hanlon’s Razor is for idiots.”

“You mean Haynlon’s Razor? ‘Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity?’”

“Haynlon’s,” I echoed. “Yeah, sure, whatever. Look, fuck off and let me worship.”

“But… But… I made a list! I set up a schedule for the whole day!”

“Too bad. The Lord’s Day is for the Lord, not demons.”

“But…!”

Starlight Glimmer smiled at her. “Aren’t you the one who’s always telling me that I can’t always control everything?”

“Well, yes, but…” She sighed. “Oh, you’re right.” She shook her head. “Okay, Murphy. You can have the day to yourself.”

“Oh, how gracious of you, my liege.” I sneered. “You’re so fuckin’ generous.”

She gave me a strange look. “You know, I may not be much of an expert on ancient religions, but I’m pretty sure most of them had rules against expletives.”

“Yeah, well, we all have our flaws,” I said with a shrug. “Mine’s that I cuss like a soldier. Shocking, I know.”

She definitely seemed confused by that. “I’ve never known Guardsponies to be any more foul-mouthed than anypony else. Is that part of human culture?”

“Yes,” I told her briskly. “Now piss off.” I walked past her and knelt in front of the window. “I need to pray.”

I heard her sigh. “Fine,” she said, sounding exasperated. “I’ll have Spike come up with your breakfast.”

“No,” I snapped. “I’m not eating your food. Not today. Today, I fast to honor the Lord.”

She was silent for a moment. Judging by her sputtering when she spoke again, I’m guessing she was trying to pick her jaw up off the floor. “But… But aren’t you starving? The only food you’ve had since you entered Appleloosa was a salad and a glass of water!”

(I had to ask her about the spelling of that town’s name for this entry – guess that name explains all the apple symbolism everywhere in that town, though asking her how it got such a bizarre name hasn’t exactly been high on my priorities list.)

“I’ll survive one more day,” I told her, though the pain in my gut tried to tell me otherwise.

“You’re insufferable,” she muttered.

“Good. Now get out.”

“If you need anything –”

“I won’t. Go.”

They left, whispering to each other. They mostly left me alone for the entire rest of the day, thank the Lord, though I could hear their hooves on the stones outside the door every hour or so. They’d stop and listen for a few minutes to whatever hymn I was singing or Bible passage I was reading, then leave. Sometimes, of course, I was silent when they came by, and after a moment, they’d make some inquiry about my continued survival. I’d respond by starting to sing something else, though my bone dry throat meant I often couldn’t finish them. I had used up almost all my remaining saliva trying to get her to leave in the first place. It was only the Lord’s grace that allowed me to speak as long as I did.

When night fell, I stayed in front of the window. I didn’t want to climb back into that bed and risk falling asleep. By the time I heard a bell chime out midnight, my vision was swimming from the lack of sleep, hydration, and nutrition. Try as I might, I couldn’t devote one hundred percent of my time to God, and I’d expelled the last of my solids and fluids. I must once again, however, thank the Lord that he preserved me from doing anything in my clothes during my time unconscious in that town and on that train. I’m not sure what I would have done then.

With the bell introducing a new day, and the time dedicated to the Lord complete, I crawled into bed and shut my eyes. Almost immediately, they snapped open again as I had a stunning revelation. I couldn’t remember having heard the door lock. Could I have already infuriated my captors into making a critical mistake? As stealthily as I could, I climbed out of the bed and tiptoed to the door. Hearing nobody outside, I lifted my hand to the knob and twisted it. With a soft click, it opened. I checked the hallway. Empty. I could scarcely believe it as I crept out of the room. Now all I had to do, hopefully, was to find that “Crystal Mirror” and “pass through” it. That was, so long as what Twilight Sparkle had told me was true. I had no idea which direction it was in, so I just picked a direction and started walking.

I eventually found the only way ahead blocked by doors. Opening them, I emerged onto a balcony overlooking the town. Despite the winter night, I didn’t feel any chill. I was enthralled by the beauty I saw. Rolling fields of snowy white reflected the brightest Moon and stars I had ever seen. We don’t get much rain where I live, much less snow – more than two inches over the entire winter is highly unusual. And even though Alvarado’s a small city, it still gives off a fair amount of light past sundown, to say nothing of all the light from Dallas. I could tell that the constellations were different from home, but there were so many of them that even this alien sky was still captivating in its own way. I don’t know how long I spent just watching the sky before I heard a voice beside me.

“You like it, I see?”

I looked to my left and slightly down to see a dark blue “pony” standing there. The creature’s long eyelashes and slender frame marked her as female. Her eyes were a light greenish-blue. Her deep purplish-blue mane and tail were speckled with gleaming white, like they held their own stars, and they billowed and waved as if under their own power, to mesmerizing effect. Like Twilight Sparkle, she had both a horn and wings. She was taller than any of the other creatures I had seen – the top of her head, sans horn, was just beneath my eyes. She wore a black gorget and tiara emblazoned with a white crescent moon, and her hooves were covered by ornate, faintly purple sabatons. Her hindquarters were covered in black splotches and bore more crescent moons.

I should have been angry or sad about my escape attempt being thwarted, or at least suspicious about the creature, but instead, I felt a sense of calm. I’m sorry to say, I smiled at her. “It’s beautiful,” I told her. “I haven’t seen a night sky even remotely like this since Iraq.”

She returned my smile. “It is always a pleasure to find somepony who appreciates the night.”

I chuckled. “Trust me, where I live, and where I’ve served, you appreciate any time when the Sun isn’t beating you down. Really, I’ve always preferred the night to the day. Sort of ironic for a Christian, I suppose. Saint John the Revelator said there isn’t any night in heaven. I hope that was symbolic, not literal, but I guess I’ll adjust either way.”

She shook her head, looking a bit sad. “I cannot imagine living somewhere without any night. Would not the Sun burn everything?” She stepped closer to me as she said that, close enough that the tip of her mane flowed over my fingers. When they did, I felt a strange energy course through me, making my whole body tingle, my heartbeat quicken, and my breaths grow deeper. I should have pulled away, resisted whatever devilry she was doing to me, but at the time, the idea didn’t even cross my mind. However, she seemed to notice my change in demeanor, and she took a step to the side, leaving her mane just an inch away from my hand.

I felt a profound sense of loss, an urge to reach out and touch it again, but some pressure on my mind prevented me from doing so. The Lord must have sent an angel to protect me. So instead of doing that, I simply said, “There isn’t any Sun in heaven, either. The very presence of God provides the light.”

The creature raised an eyebrow. “Intriguing,” she said. “I must admit, I had begun to worry that you would never go to sleep, and we would not get this chance to talk in private. I read Twilight’s letter about you, and I decided to do a little experiment. I was right. With your fear suppressed, you are not such a bad pony. You could be more respectful, but you are not evil. You truly do believe everypony wishes to harm you. You are motivated by terror, not cruelty. I shall inform Twilight about this in my next letter. Perhaps it will help her find a way to help you.”

“Hold up,” I said. “What did you say about my fear being suppressed?”

She smiled and shook her head, causing her mane to float over my hand again and sending a jolt up my spine. “Farewell, Daniel Murphy. We shall see each other again soon.”

She disappeared in a burst of white light, and I suddenly found myself back in the bed, with the first rays of dawn peeking in through the window. I promptly dry heaved. That strange allure I had felt towards the creature in my dreams was replaced with revulsion. That was no simple dream, I know that much. The demons are truly doing everything in their power to tempt me. But I swear, they won’t succeed. My heart is sealed for heaven. God is my protector. I will not fall to them.

I slipped out of the bed and fell to my knees in prayer, where I stayed until Twilight Sparkle came in with another salad for my breakfast. Despite my churning stomach, I consumed it. My soul is strong, but without food, my body will fail me. I don’t think God wants me to commit suicide by starvation.

The purple demon says that she has the whole day planned out, so I’m writing this before we begin whatever foul tortures she has in store for me. May the Lord give me the strength to endure.