RGRE Slut Pirate Anon

With a thunderous crash, your boat splashes into the water. You all look at each other in silence as the boat bobs up and down like a cork.

“Fuck YEAAAAH!” you cry in triumph.

They said it couldn’t be done. There was no way a stallion could build a boat. There was no way you could slaughter the entire local population of Timberwolves to build it! And there was no way it would float. Well fuck you Twilight, you fucking did it.

“Fuck you Twilight!”

You are staring her right in the eyes, because the small purple unicorn is right there on shore. Middle fingers are extended as hard as they can, though you are sure the expression is lost on her. You shake your sweet sweet can at her and turn to your crew.

“Ok ladies! Let’s get the sail raised and head out to adventure!”

AJ suddenly runs up to meet Twilight on the shore.
“What’s wrong AJ?”

“It’s the cider! All the cider is gone!”

Twiggles and AJ look back to see you and the girls toasting Frosty mugs of yellow alcoholic beverages. You smile as you click the play button on your portable speaker system. You play her the song of your people.

*ANY WAY YOU WANT IT THAT’S THE WAY YOU NEED IT ANY WAY YOU WANT IT!*

The sail fills as you cruise away from shore. The shouts fade.

“Anon! You fucking slut get your ass back here!”

Day one of your new life as the pirate king. As you pulled yourself out of the warm furry pile of ponies in the Captain’s cabin, you looked out the window. Ponyville was still right where you left it. Last night you made sure you could see that Twilight could see that you could see her as you partied at anchor. But now there was something different. A large shape loomed just over the horizon. You grinned, canines flashing in challenge. It seems Twilight had stepped up her game. Leaning over, you blew a big fat rasberry on Bon Bon's tummy. The pony freaked the fuck out as she assumed some kind of kung fu stance as her marshmallow hoof flew harmlessly by your head.

“God fucking dammit Anon! I told you not to wake me up like that, I could have killed you!”

You laughed. Silly tiny horse thinks she can hurt you, how adorable. Leaning over, you slowly and roughly licked Lyra’s horn from the base to the tip. The unicorn shivered and whinnied as her eyes opened.

“Oh, morning Anon!”

“See Bonny, that’s how you are supposed to wake up.”

“Fuck you monkey,” yawns the earth pone.

You run your fingers up and down Sea Shell’s back, paying special attention to the base of her wings. Your drag your fingernails through her soft light colored fur, and rub your fingertips along the edge of her fluffy wings. You are rewarded when they suddenly pop out with a sound like an automatic umbrella. She wakes up with a start.

“Oh geeze, oh no… not now, not like this!”

“Hah. Sleep well Sea Shell?”

“What? Oh, yes, it was nice sleeping in a big cuddle pile. Haven’t done that since my days in the service.”

You looked over to see Lyra and Bon Bon giving each other tongue baths.

“Well, I don’t mean to cut you girls off, but Twilight got herself a big old ship and is coming to take me back.”