How To Survive Your Giant Marefriend

The sun shone brightly through the window, causing a certain yellow-orange cheese-colored stallion to stir from his slumber. Cheese Sandwich opened his eyes to greet the new day with a smile like he always did. Only this day, something was off. Instead of his soft, warm sandwich bed, he was lying on a surface of hard, cold marble. As he looked around, he noticed that he was surrounded by....... giant cooking supplies? There was a huge bag of flour, a box of cake mix, a wooden spoon for stirring, etc. He was even lying in the shade of an enormous mixing bowl.

Roaming around on the hard and potentially slippery stone surface beneath him, Cheese recognized his surroundings as the kitchen in Sugar Cube Corner. For some reason, though, everything seemed so much... bigger than he remembered. How he ended up here at only a couple inches tall, sleeping on the countertop was a mystery to him. Maybe it was just a dream, but if not, maybe somepony could explain it to him when they got here, or at least be able to help him.

Suddenly, the tiny orange stallion heard the sound of somepony running down the stairs. Speak of the devil. The flap doors to the kitchen burst open and there she was. The perkiest, most energetic mare in all of Ponyville, with the beautiful bright pink coat and luscious poofy hair. The pony Cheese Sandwich was lucky to call his marefriend: Pinkie Pie.

When Cheese saw her, he could couldn't believe how much she towered over him. "Great Gargantuan Gorgonzola!" he exclaimed. If he had to guess, he'd say she was about eighty cakes tall. She was so happy that she was hopping with glee as she entered the kitchen, creating an earthquake every time she landed. This mare was clearly excited about something.

"OhmygoshohmygoshOHMYGOSH!!!" Pinkie exclaimed rapidly. "This is going to be the single most rooftastic birthday cake OF ALL TIME!!! Nothing but the best for my precious Cheesy-Weezy!"

It was true. Cheese Sandwich's birthday was coming up the next day and Pinkie had already Pinkie Promised to give him the greatest party ever and the most "rooftastic" cake ever, as she said. He was incredibly flattered that she was going to such great lengths for him. Her commitment to spreading joy to everypony no matter what the occasion was just one of the many things he loved about her.

As Pinkie picked up the cake mix to begin making the batter, she started making up a little rap tune about baking a cake and dancing along with it. Cheese Sandwich, meanwhile, just stood there and watched. He'd be lying if he said he didn't really enjoy watching Pinkie dance, especially since her dancing involved a lot of booty movement. The pink mare had a very curvaceous and plump rump and the way she shook it when she danced was practically hypnotic.

Even so, as much as Cheese would've loved to keep watching Pinkie work it, he knew he had to find some way to make her notice him despite his diminutive stature. He tried calling out her name, but she was so busy mixing and rapping that it was no use. As he thought hard to come up with another idea, Pinkie picked up a nearby pepper shaker, ready to add some of it to the mix.

"And just a dash of..." she said, shaking the can with a little too much vigor. The entire lid fell off and suddenly there was black pepper floating everywhere. "Oopsie," she squeaked. "This is way too much pepper for a... a..." she was cut off when she felt the pepper starting to work its way into her nose. Cheese Sandwich looked up and saw the gigantic mare covering her nose with her finger, preparing to unleash a monstrous sneeze. The miniature party pony panicked and ran for his life, but it was too late.

"ATCHOO!!" Pinkie sneezed. The force of her wind sent her tiny coltfriend hurdling towards the end of the counter. He would've fallen off the edge if he hadn't grabbed onto the corners and pulled himself back up with all his might.

"Phew! 'Scuse me," Pinkie said with a sniff. "Guess I'll have to sweep this up later." She started to get back to work, but suddenly, something stopped her. "Wait a minute. Something's not right here," she observed, glancing around the table suspiciously. Cheese wondered if the giant party pony had finally sensed his presence. "Oh, silly me! I almost forgot the mozzarella and provolone! I can't make a birthday cake for Cheese Sandwich without cheese. Duh!"

"Ah, crackers," Cheese mumbled disappointedly. When Pinkie turned around to grab the cheeses out of the cabinet, the little stallion got an amazing view of her perfect colossal rear and that gave him an idea. But he had to move fast or he might lose his chance. Stealing his nerves, Cheese Sandwich took a huge leap of faith off the counter, landing miraculously on the left side of Pinkie's posterior.

If he couldn't make Pinkie see or hear him, he'd just have to make her feel him. And there was only one way to do that. He quickly changed into his lederhosen and began climbing up Pinkie's rump like a mountain. When he finally reached the top of her cheek, he slipped under her shirt and shimmied his way around to the front. He stared up at the big pink wall that was Pinkie Pie's belly. He knew what he was doing was really dangerous, but it had to be done. Besides, he had secretly always wanted to do it anyway.

Cheese Sandwich started tickling Pinkie's belly as hard as he could, spreading his arms out to their fullest length. It seemed to work as Cheese heard Pinkie giggling and felt his surroundings vibrating rapidly. It made it hard for him to keep his balance, but luckily, there was a layer of pink cloth keeping him in place. Pretty soon, the pink mare was rolling on the floor laughing her head off, unable to stand the sensation much longer.

Wondering what could be tickling her so much, she lifted up her shirt and, to her surprise, found a very small version of her coltfriend. She picked him up carefully with her fingers and brought him up to her face.

"Cheese?!" she asked loudly, her eyes wide with shock. "Is that you?!"

"Yes ma'am-ee!" Cheese answered with an awkward giggle.

"Oh my gosh! How did you get so.... so.... CUTE?! I mean, I could just eat you up right now!"

The orange pony chuckled nervously. "Please don't. I've been through so much I'm probably all moldy by now." Both ponies got a nice laugh out of that comment.

"I should've known it was you anyway. You're the only pony who knows my favorite tickle spot."

"Hey, I had to get you to notice me somehow. I have no idea how I got this little, but on the bright side, there's so much more of you for me to love, my big Pinkie-Winkie!"

"Aww! Come here, my little Cheesy-Weezy!"

Pinkie then proceeded to plant a great big smooch on the tiny pony's head, nearly drowning him in saliva. It was a bit gross, but he kinda liked it.

"Wanna help me clean up all this pepper?" Pinkie asked.

"Only if you wear nose plugs," Cheese replied, not wishing to relive the same incident more than once.