"...How did we even get here?" Conscience asked in confusion as he stared distantly ahead.

James smiled deviously (at the camera). "I have no idea," he shook his head.

James and Conscience stood side by side, surrounded by cows. A whole lot of them. A lot of them were light brown and white instead of black and white. A few were even completely brown, no white at all.

"Why are we doing this again?" Conscience asked.

"For booze, dumbass, we came out here for booze," James deadpanned at him.

"...But, couldn't we have just went to the market in Ponyville?"

"I did, earlier this morning," James said. "But the merchant was out of stock."

"...Oh."

"So, if the merchant was out of stock, I thought: 'Why not find out the source of the booze?' And now... um... well, sh** happened," James faltered.

"Right," Conscience nodded comprehensively.

"..."

"...Umm... so, what do we do now?" Conscience looked around, completely lost.

"Now? We wait," James put his hands behind his back as he stared ahead, a stoic expression on his face.

"For who, the merchant?"

"Yes. ...Though while I wouldn't mind standing here for a long period of time, I'd still like to do something a little more constructive. Fortunately, I brought a book to read," James held up a book that was at least a half inch wide.

Conscience raised an eyebrow. "That's a thick-ass book. How long are we gonna be here, again?"

"Better not be too long," James furrowed his eyebrows as he held out the book to Conscience.

"...What am I supposed to do with this?" Conscience stared at the book blankly.

"Um... read it out loud?" James intoned sarcastically.

"Why? I hate reading out loud!" Conscience argued. By this point, the cows, who had been slightly on edge upon their arrival about five minutes ago, had decided to ignore them and continued to graze the grass.

"Well, duh. So you know how I feel!"

"You do it," Conscience gave the book back to James.

"No, you," James returned it.

"Fine. Rock Paper Scissors," Conscience suggested.

James facepalmed. "Ugh, fine, best of five."

They held out their hands. Then shook them rhythmically. Conscience chanted the three tools out loud.

"Rock, paper, scissors! GOT IT!" Conscience won with rock. "Rock, paper, scissors! DAMN IT!" Conscience lost to James's scissors. "Rock, paper, scissors! DAMN IT!" he lost to James's rock. "Rock, paper, scissors! GOT IT!" he won with paper. "Rock, paper, scissors!" he held out his scissors to James's rock.

Before he could Explode in frustration, James suddenly pulled out a sword and sliced the sh*t out of him. James then threw Conscience to the ground, and then thrust the sword into his back.

"CALIFORNIA ROLL!" James Cheerfully raised his fist victoriously in the air.

Conscience winced as he pulled the sword out of his back. "You haven't even been to California," he pulled out a Star Candy and ate it. "Let alone eaten a California roll."

"I know," James smiled triumphantly as he tossed the book into his hands. "Now start reading. Begin with the front cover, if you please."

Conscience Facewhipped with his free hand, before glared at the book. "James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl," he intoned. He was too pissed to notice James smirking (at the camera) upon hearing his name.

"The old man said to him, '…Marvelous things will start happening to you, fabulous, unbelievable thingssss – and you will never be miserable again in your life.'"

James, who was lost in the story (despite Conscience not reading like he meant it), was snapped back to reality. "Why'd you say 'things' like that?"

Conscience rose an eyebrow, the deadpan still on his face. "What? I said 'things.'"

"No, you said 'thingsssss,'" James pointed.

"No I didn't," Conscience blinked in confusion, his face finally showing emotion for once in a half hour.

James looked around. First at the sky, then around at the cows. They were still idly standing around, silent as f*ck. Nothing seemed different than it did when they got there. At least, not until he looked at the ground. There, right next to his foot was a snake. A green one, about half as long as he or Conscience was tall.

James bit his lip to keep from yelping in surprise. He didn't want to cause any commotion. "Conscience," James hissed.

"What, what's the pro--?" Conscience's breath caught in his throat as he saw what James was looking at. "Get it. Get it!" he hissed back quietly.

"S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s," the snake's gaze fell on James. James panicked and reached behind his back and pulled out his black hammer. He fumbled with it before finally getting a grip on the handle, and swinging at the snake. He got a direct hit, sending the snake flying a fair distance in the air.

"Phew," Conscience sighed in relief. His eyes widened again when it landed on the ground... right in front of a cow's face.

"...Sh**," James deadpanned.

Said cow's eyes widened almost instantly before she (you could tell from its voice it was a she) cried out. "Snaaake!"

"Snake!?" several cows surrounding her looked at her and saw what she was looking at.

"Snake!?" the others repeated in alarm.

It was crazy how quickly the word spread across the entire herd, practically like wildfire. James and Conscience barely processed what was happening, when all the cows started running. They didn't have much time to react (which is saying something) before they were rammed into, launched into the air. They got up slightly dazed as they looked behind them to see cows leaving the soon-to-be empty field, the occasional moo resounding from the herd.

"...Well, you f***ed up," Conscience said nonchalantly as he merged with James, whose eyes went from X's back to normal.

"Wow... let's do that again," James got up to Flash after them.

KLPOW!

And then he was gone.

Author's Note

O_O Ohoh, sh*t. I almost forgot my character tag!

...

"CALIFORNIA ROLL!"