"On the count of three! One!" *BOOM!*

Applejack went to a tree and kicked it, causing the apples to fall into the baskets waiting below. Then she did the same with the tree across from it.

After kicking another tree after that, she stopped for a quick breather, allowing her fatigue the opportunity to strike. But she wouldn't let it get the best of her. She shook herself awake to continue working. Unfortunately, fatigue sent his regards. Thus, Applejack kicked at the tree she already relieved its apples from. However, she was too far a distance, and nearly tripped from hitting nothing but air.

"What on Earth is that pony doing?" Twilight said out loud to herself as she watched Applejack drowsily kick one of the apple-laden baskets over. James stood next to her, his hands behind his back.

"Shouldn't we say something instead of standing here and watching like ass****s?" James raised an eyebrow.

Twilight rolled her eyes before she returned her focus to the orange mare, who was on her way to pick up the befallen apples she just spilled. "Hey, Applejack!" The pony addressed stopped walking, just to doze of again. "Applejack? ...Applejack!" Twilight fruitlessly called again as Applejack began to snore. The way she snored did not go unnoticed by James.

"Do ponies usually neigh in their sleep?" James asked Twilight as he squinted in curiosity.

Twilight ignored him as she exasperatedly teleported in front of her. "Applejack!" At last, the cowpony jolted awake and (tried to) shake her head clear of its drowsiness.

"Oh. Howdy, Twilight," she gave a tired smile as she walked past Twilight.

KLPO-PO-PO-PO-POW!

James quickly picked up the apples Applejack knocked over, and put them back in the designated basket, before catching up with the two.

"What is all this?" Twilight looked around.

"It's Applebuck season," Applejack answered. She bucked another tree's apples down, but was startled when Twilight teleported in front of her.

"Apple-what season?" she asked as Applejack recovered and continued past her, James following.

"It's what the Apple family calls harvestin' time," she explained as Twilight once again teleported to catch up. "We gather all the apples from the trees so we can sell 'em."

James had a brief idea of how large the orchard was when he and Twilight walked through it. "Damn, how many customers do you get to be selling this many apples!?" he exclaimed in shock. "Ponyville is pretty schmall, so obviously you're selling this all over the place."

"Supposedly," Twilight replied before speaking to Applejack again. "But why are you doing it all alone?"

"'Cause Big Macintosh hurt himself," she replied rather flatly before Twilight teleported in front of her again. She was already used to it by then. It was starting to piss James off. Though he didn't show it, his patience wasn't being tested...
Yet.

"What about all those relatives I've met when I first came to Ponyville? Can't they help?" Twilight frowned.

Applejack sighed as she continued past Twilight. "They were just here for the Apple family reunion. They actually live all over Equestria and are busy harvestin' their own orchards. So, uh, Ah'm on my own." Twilight appeared in front of her again. "Which means Ah should really get back to work."

Twilight, who had a flat look on her face, didn't budge so James nudged her. "Don't be rude, excuse yourself," his eyebrows furrowed slightly as he moved to his right.

"Fine," she said dismissively as she moved over to her left.

"Uh, could you step aside, Twilight?" Applejack swayed from side to side, like she could collapse any moment. James Grief Grimaced.

"I just did. ...Applejack, you don't look so good." Applejack's vision tripled as she looked at Twilight and James, who looked concerned.

She shook her head as she continued past them. "Don't any of you six worry none, Ah'm just fine and dandy."

"...What in the f***...?" James said out loud to himself. He caught Twilight before she could teleport and gave her a pointed look, causing her to groan in exasperation before walking over to the cowpony.

"Do you... want some help?" Twilight raised an eyebrow.

"Help?" Applejack looked at Twilight like she was crazy, before she shook her head. "No way, no how."

Twilight frowned. "But there's no way you can do it all on your own." She recoiled when Applejack suddenly got in her face.

"Is that, a challe--"

KLPOW!

James lightly pushed Applejack away in exasperation. "What she means is that it would be a lot easier if you got some friends to work with you. So what if you can harvest all this on your own," James shrugged (even though he was not sure if what he said was true). "But it would be a lot less trouble if you let us help you out."

"Exactly!" Twilight pointed in agreement.

Applejack wasn't convinced. "Oh, yeah? Well, Ah'm gonna prove to you that I can do it! Now if you'll excuse me, Ah've got apples to buck!" Twilight's face crunched up with worry. James just stared at the departing Applejack with a look of disbelief and irritation.

"...Was I f***ing talking to myself, or some sh**?"

Rainbow Dash sighed quietly in annoyance as she stood with expert balance on the top of a fence post, tapping her hoof impatiently.

She turned when she heard the sound of someone skidding across the ground. "There you are," she said flatly. She noticed two others beside her. "What are you guys doing here?"

James furrowed his eyebrows. "Well, if you must know, we were interested in this 'trick' you were planning. Thought we'd see it in action."

Conscience put up his index. "Actually, I'm here to see you fail." This comment earned him a smack in the back of the head by James.

Applejack yawned. "Ah'm a mite sorry, Rainbow. Ah was busy apple-bucking and Ah guess Ah, Ah closed my eyes for a second and, when Ah woke up, Ah was late. Now, what's this new trick o' yours?"

Rainbow seemingly forgot about her past irritation and spoke with vigor. "See this contraption?" she pointed at a leverage catapult, a giant elevated platform right next to it.

"Uh... yeah," Applejack answered.

"Well, I'm gonna stand on one end, then you're gonna jump down from that platform, launching me into the air faster than I can take off on my own. Once I'm in the air, I'm gonna do some amazing flips and spins that are sure to impress the Wonderbolts."

Conscience stared blankly as he pictured the trick in his head. "...Uuh..."

POP!

He Pop Fainted in consequence.

"Isn't that a mite dangerous?" Applejack frowned.

"Heh, not for a pony who can fly," Rainbow said reassuringly, unaware of the glare James was giving her.

"Well, alright-y, then," Applejack followed her over to the catapult. James followed suit (after he revived Conscience so he could do the same).

Applejack got on top of the platform, and looked down. As if the height wasn't intimidating enough, her disoriented vision made it worse. "Oh, my..."

"Ready?" Rainbow called from the end of the catapult. "One. Two. Three!"

THUD

"HO-LY SH**!" Conscience and James recoiled with a start as Applejack harshly faceplanted the dirt road. It would've been comical how she looked flattened to anyone else. But Conscience was too surprised to say anything, while James didn't find it funny in the slightest.

Rainbow did not appear concerned at all as she walked up to the orange mare. "Umm... maybe I wasn't clear. You're supposed to land on the other end."

Applejack pulled herself up, her eyes rolling in her head. "Got it," she said in a disoriented tone. James sighed in relief as she went back up to try again.

The next few attempts didn't go so well either. Conscience was Grief Grimacing and James kept cringing every time Applejack fell to the ground, each time looking more painful.

"Applejack, what the hay is going on? I mean, I thought I was working with Ponyville's best athlete!" Rainbow glowered, her expression being mirrored by James, who was glaring back at Rainbow.

Applejack shook her head "You are. Ah'm okay. Really. A-Ah have an idea. Watch this." She walked over to the end opposite of Rainbow and reached for it. She grunted as she pushed down on it, until it touched the ground. "Ta-daaa!"

"Psh. Get on my level," Conscience Signature Shrugged. James couldn't help but smile in amusement. Rainbow didn't find it as funny as she narrowed her eyes dangerously at the farm pony.

"Oh... Maybe not. Okay, one more try. Ah'm sure to get it this time," Applejack abruptly let go of her end, causing Rainbow to ungracefully drop back to the ground, dazed. "Heh. Here Ah go!" She regained her bearings just in time to see Applejack jumping off the platform.

"Wait! Applejaaaaaaaaaa--!" she was already sent flying.

"You're welcooome!" Applejack called out.

James sighed and rolled his eyes in exasperation before he Flashed after her.

Conscience watched as Rainbow disappeared into the distance. "...Damn...I wanna try that!" He jumped onto the platform. He shouted as he ran off the platform, "SCOTT JOPLIN, MUTHA F***AAAAA--!"

KLPOW!

With expert timing, he Flashed over to the opposite end before it went all the way upward from his momentum against the side he landed on. Miraculously, he flew almost exactly Rainbow's velocity in the same direction.

"That sh** actually woooooorked!"

"Huh... well, ain't that somethin'...," Applejack looked after them in awe before she began her trip back home.

Back at the library, Twilight was enjoying some books on her balcony when out of nowhere...

KLPOW!

"James...?" she looked up to see James with a flat look on his face, as he put his hands in the air, as if trying to catch something. "What are you do--" she paused as she heard a screaming voice come closer to them. With a loud thud, James was now holding a roughed up Rainbow Dash. "Can I help you?" Twilight raised an eyebrow.

"I think somepony else needs your help," was the response from the cyan pegasus.

Twilight already knew who it was. "Applejack?"

"Yep." Rainbow's head dropped in exhaustion. Twilight's eyebrows furrowed.

James sighed. "Hold on a second." He put Rainbow down next to him. He turned around to see a Tornado Spinning Conscience flying head-first in his direction. He pulled out his cape, shifted to the left, and swung. Just as intended, Conscience took a ninety-degree turn, flying away from the library. James put his cape away. "Okay, let's go."

Twilight probably didn't see Applejack accidentally hit her head against a branch after trying to pick up an apple, but James sure did. He shook his head, as a deep sigh escaped his lips.

He and Twilight approached her. "Applejack can we talk?" Twilight asked softly. She saw Applejack rub at her ear before looking at her questioningly. "Applejack, can we talk?" she repeated.

"'Can bees squawk?' Ah don't think so!" Applejack said rather loudly.

"No. Can we talk?" Twilight repeated calmly.

"'Twenty stalks?' Bean or celery?" Applejack might as well have shouted.

Twilight was getting impatient. "No, I need to talk to you," she spoke a bit louder.

"'You need to walk to the zoo?' Well, who's stoppin' you?"

"I need to talk to you!"

"Oh! Well why didn't you say so? What you wanna talk about?"

Twilight had to keep her voice a bit louder so Applejack could hear. "Rainbow Dash dropped in to see me today."

She and James heard a ba-dum tss. They turned around to see Conscience with a small drum set.

James deadpanned at him, then shook his head. "I don't even..." Twilight rolled her eyes before turning back to Applejack.

"That's quite neighborly of her," the farm pony answered.

"Yes, except that she crashed onto my balcony after you launched her into the air."

"Oh. Yeah," Applejack got quiet. She turned around and hung her head. "Ah wasn't feeling quite myself this morning."

"Because you're working too hard and you need help," Twilight walked up to her.

Applejack looked up. "Kelp? Ah don't need kelp. Ah don't even like seaweed."

Conscience found a reference in this, and decided to make a smart-ass comment. "Smoke weed every da--"

POW!

James shot him in the head with a sniper, without even turning to look at him.

"HELP! YOU NEED HELP!" Twilight yelled.

"Nothin' doin', Twilight. Ah'm gonna prove to you, to everypony, that Ah can do this on my own," she walked away, not looking where she was going. Thus, she once again bumped her head on the branch from earlier, letting out a quiet 'ow.' "Now if you'll excuse me, Ah've gotta go help Pinkie Pie," she finished, cross-eyed, as she stumbled away.

"Uugh," Twilight moaned in frustration.

"Maaaybe I should see if she'll be alright," James suggested. He looked at the sniper in his hand, which he hadn't put away yet. Then he shrugged and pointed it at his head. "Might as well."

POW!

[Later at Sugarcube Corner...]

"Now Pinkie Pie, are you sure you're up for baking the muffins and running the store this afternoon?" Cup Cake asked as she and her husband, Carrot Cake, packed up their things.

"Yes siree bob, Mrs. Cake. Plus, I have Ponyville's prized pony to help me out. Why, she's the best baker ever. Right, Applejack?" she turned to the orange mare next to her.

Applejack, for her part, could barely hear anything correctly. She shook her head to try and rid herself of the ringing in her ears.

"No? You're not the best baker ever?" Mr. Cake frowned.

"What? Oh no! Ah mean... don't you fret. Ah can bake anything from fritters to pies, in the blink of an eye," she reassured. Just then, everyone heard the door open. They all turned to see who it was. It wasn't even two seconds before Pinkie spoke up.

"Ooh! Hi, James! Are you here to help, too?"

"Huh? Oh. Um, sure, I guess," he answered subconsciously as he rubbed his hand against the side of his face.

Mrs. Cake sighed in relief. "All right. Well, see you three later!" she said as she and Mr. Cake headed out the door.

Applejack vigorously shook her head left and right before Pinkie gripped both sides of her face with her hooves. "Stop with the shakin'. It's time to get bakin'!"

James's mind caught up with him as he realized what Pinkie just said. "...Sh*t," he facepalmed. He wasn't sure whether or not he didn't Facewhip instead due to exhaustion or annoyance. ...It was probably annoyance. He felt like he could take on the world at that very moment if he had to, even though he wouldn't like it... at all...

Pinkie's eyes scanned the ingredients in the cook book that stood up on the counter. "All right-y! I'll get the sugar and the eggs. Can you get me some chocolate chips?" she turned to James as well as a sleeping Applejack, whose eyes snapped wide for a second as she shook her head.

"Eh... uh, what was that?" Applejack asked.

"Chips," James replied without missing a beat.

"Chips. Got it," she muttered something else James couldn't hear well as she walked over to the shelves lined with complimenting toppings and fixings. He didn't get much time to dwell on that thought, because the door opened, revealing none other than his own state of mind.

"Conscience?" Conscience just pointed outside with a flat look on his face. James looked at Applejack, who grabbed something from the shelf. Then to Pinkie, who was still looking at the book. That was when he was Violently grabbed by the arm and pulled outside.

When they barely made it out the door, James Violently pulled his arm away. "Damn it!" he hissed in irritation. "How'd you know I was here, anyway?" James raised an eyebrow.

"Twilight told me you went to keep an eye on Applejack," Conscience replied.

"Oh."

"Really, James?" Conscience intoned. "A sniper?"

James paused for at least three seconds before he realized what Conscience was talking about. "Wait, are you sore about what I shot you with?" he squinted in confusion.

"And you wouldn't?"

"...Okay, yeah, I would. But still, I couldn't think of anything else. I wanted to shoot you with a powerful gun, but I didn't want to get you with a machine gun. I thought it would ruin the moment.

"...What moment?" Conscience narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"The moment where I cut you off in the middle of your interruption by shooting you." Conscience just stared for a second. Neither of them noticed when Applejack came outside. They were too focused on one another (you never know when one of them will strike suddenly).

"...You're sh**ing me, right?" Conscience said, breaking the silence.

James groaned and rolled his eyes. "Why don't you think about what you'd do if you and I were in the opposite position. I'm gonna see how Applejack and Pinkie are doing." No sooner did he turn around did he trip and fall. He dusted himself off in irritation and looked behind him. A small hole met his gaze. "How the f*** did that get there...?" he muttered as he went inside.

Conscience just stood there, pondering James's words. "...Whatever." He sighed in defeat before walking away.

Meanwhile, James came in to see Pinkie putting some muffin trays in the oven. "Wait, we're done?" he asked in shock.

"Well, of course silly, it wasn't that hard!" Pinkie chirped.

"...Huh... well, alright," James Epic Shrugged.

James stared at the steaming muffins. If he was true to himself, he was rather surprised. He was hoping Applejack didn't accidentally screw something up due to her fatigue, but it seemed she kicked ass in catering in her sleep.

"Free muffin sample spectacular!" Pinkie called out from behind the counter. The crowd of waiting ponies looked hungrily at the appetizing-looking products before them. James had to stop himself from High Chortling when he saw one of them drooling.

"Yeah! Muffin spectacles! Get 'em while they're hot!" Applejack added, causing James to frown at her in spite of her incorrect use of words.

The nurse pony drew the curtain for Twilight, Spike, James, and Conscience. "We came as soon as we heard," Twilight spoke.

"That's what she said," Conscience pointed with a smirk. James pulled out his hammer and sent him flying across the town.

"Thank you, Twilight. We need all the help we can get," the nurse said as she looked at all the patients. Several ponies were moaning in pain, their faces green.

"Oh no. What happened?" Twilight asked, concern in her voice.

"It was a mishap with some of the baked goods," the nurse answered.

"No. Not baked goods," Pinkie said from her bed. "Baked bads." Her cheeks puffed up, like she was going to lose her lunch any moment. If she didn't already lose it.

Twilight grimaced before her eyebrows furrowed. "Applejack."

James immediately Facewhipped. "Sh**! I knew I should've paid more attention! Applejack must've put something in there while Conscience and I were arguing." He looked at the nurse. "Excuse me, miss..."

"Redheart," she answered.

"Yeah, Redheart, so what are the symptoms so far?"

"Well," she pondered, "there has been vomiting, stomach aches, headaches, light-headedness, and feelings of weakness in the limbs. Why do you ask?"

James's eyes lit up for a second. "Oh, psh. Watch me smoke this." He pulled out a Refreshing Herb from Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story. In his other hand, he pulled out a smoke grenade. Then he shoved the two together, making a Refreshing Herb Grenade. He repeated the process once more.

"Usually, the Herb will help for someone. But considering this is for more than one patient, these will help subject everyone to this quicker," he explained before pulling the pins and rolling them on two different sides of the room. Soon enough, green looking gas came from the grenades. It took a few seconds for the whole room to be filled. He noticed the nurse looking tense (not to mention most of the other patients upon seeing the gas). "Relax," he placed a hand on her shoulder, "this should have them feeling better in no time."

He barely finished his sentence before the gas took effect. The green color gradually left the ponies' faces as they slowly stood up. They paused before realization sunk in. Everyone muttered to themselves in confusion.

James Signature Blushed. "No pun intended." His nervous smile turned to a look of shocked horror when he saw Spike eating one of the muffins baked earlier.

Spike noticed James looking at him, and held one out to him. "Want one?" he offered.

POP!

James Pop Fainted.

Author's Note

*looks at chapter ending*

Hey I did that in my first story! At the ending, no less!
I should be ashamed of myself...