Fluttershy had a bad case of the giggles.

Her friends—and her teachers, much to their consternation—had noticed it all day long, as had other students at CHS. It was noticeable because of how far Fluttershy went out of her way to not be noticed, despite being one of the most attractive girls at school. All day long, she'd suddenly burst into cute, quiet giggles, then suddenly cover her mouth, look around sheepishly, and duck her head...then keep giggling.

At the end of an otherwise dull, dreary school day, seven girls met up at the horse statue to shoot the breeze before heading home or to other activities. "Man, Ah am not lookin' forward t' them broken shocks in Big Mac's truck," Applejack grumbled. "Last thing mah sore ol' fanny needs after a long—"

Fluttershy suddenly erupted in a fit of shrieking giggles, doubling over and clutching her stomach.

Applejack shot her an annoyed glance. "Hey now. You try ridin' mah brother's buckin' bronco, see how fast your fanny wears out!"

This just set Fluttershy off even harder. She lost her balance and pitched forward; Rainbow Dash caught her and took a knee, holding her and giving her a worried look. "You okay, Shy?"

"Yeah, Fluttershy, you've been a total gigglebox all day long," Pinkie Pie said. "I mean, I love it when people are laughing and smiling, but this is just weird!"

Wiping tears from her eyes and gasping for breath between laughs, Fluttershy pulled a paperback book out of her backpack and waved it in Sunset Shimmer's general direction. Raising an eyebrow, Sunset took it. Her eyebrow raised even further when she looked at the cover. "Dirty Words Around The World?"

The other blinked. "That doesn't sound like a very Fluttershy book to have," Rarity remarked.

"S-sto-stole it from...f-from Ze-Ze-Zephyr Bre-Breeze," Fluttershy wheezed out. She flapped her hand at Sunset. "Tro-Trotting...ham," she said.

Sunset's brow furrowed. Shrugging, she flipped through the book, coming to the Trottingham section. She skimmed it until something stood out. She blinked once. "Oh," she said. "Oh." She glanced at Applejack, then bit her lip and started chuckling.

"Oh god, not you too," Rainbow groaned.

"Alright, whut's th' joke?" Applejack demanded, folding her arms and scowling.

Shaking her head, Sunset handed Applejack the book and pointed at an entry. Applejack looked at it, then blinked. Her scowl dissolved into a stunned expression, which quickly turned sheepish. "Uh. Huh." She blinked again, then handed the book back. "Huh. Well fancy that," she said. She scratched the back of her head, chuckling in embarrassment, eyes darting in all directions. "Yeah, that...that ain't whut Ah meant. At all."

"Okay, is anybody gonna explain this?" Rainbow wondered.

"Yeah, for real!" Pinkie cried, throwing her hands up. "Do you know how annoying it is not being in on the joke?"

Rarity blinked. "Wait. Are we laughing because 'fanny' is slang for a lady's, ahem, womanly region in Trottingham?"

"Yeah," Sunset said, snickering.

Rarity covered her mouth with her hand and let out a ladylike giggle. "Oh dear," she said. "I've known about that for years of course, but it's not something I think about because it simply isn't used that way here."

"An' Ah ain't never usin' that word again," Applejack grunted, face flaming. She shifted uncomfortably. "An' jes' for th' record, ain't no part'a anything of Big Mac's has ever touched that part'a me."

This set everyone off. The rest of the foot traffic in and out of CHS could only stare, bewildered, at the pile of girls laughing like hyenas at the base of the Wondercolt statue.

* * * * *

Zephyr Breeze and two other sophomore boys sat in the relatively empty cafeteria, materials for a project spread out around them along with various snacks and drinks. One of the boys had chopped blue-green hair and cobalt skin; he wore a forest green track suit and black sneakers and had bad acne. The patch on the breast of his jacket depicted a trio of tipis around a campfire. The third boy was short, stout, and broad-faced, with light green skin and dark green hair in a buzz cut. He wore a black T-shirt which depicted a sailboat, thick canvas shorts, and rugged hiking shoes.

"Man, your sister's been trippin' out all over the place today," said the boy in the tracksuit, whose name was Tent Pitcher—Tipi for short.

"Yeah, so I heard," Zephyr Breeze said, taking a long swig of his cola.

"Dude, you're so lucky," said the third boy, Full Mast, in a gravelly voice. "Your sister's so hot. I wish I had a hot sister like Fluttershy." He sighed. "My sister's a total letdown. She doesn't even bring hot chicks her age around the house."

"You have a sister?" Zephyr asked.

"Dude, you've met her every time you've been over at my house."

"Really? Huh." Zephyr shook his head. "Can't remember."

"Yeah, I don't blame you. She ain't much to look at." Full Mast crammed chips in his mouth and crunched. "Soooo lucky."

"Yeah, dude, you get to share a bathroom with one of the hottest chicks here," Tipi said. "I can't even—"

Zephyr grimaced. "You do not want to share a bathroom with Fluttershy," he said. "Trust me on this. It takes her an hour to get ready every morning, she leaves her makeup shit all over the place, and at least once a week I have to dig a hair clog out of the tub. It's so gross."

Tipi grinned lasciviously. "Pussy hair?" he drawled in a lewd tone.

Zephyr groaned and slapped him upside the head. "No, dumbass. Regular hair. What is with you and pubes?"

"Seriously, dude, the pube obsession is kinda gross," Full Mast grunted. "And yeah, I hear you on the shower clogs. Girl hair and shower drains don't mix."

"I do not have an obsession!" Tipi protested. "I have a healthy interest in bikini lines."

"Uh-huh," Zephyr said, rolling his eyes. "Well, Shy keeps hers nice and tidy, but at least she does her bikini grooming shit over at Rarity's place."

"Oh?" Tipi asked interestedly, raising an eyebrow. "Any particular reason for that?"

Zephyr gave him a flat stare. "Because Rarity's got like, a special imported thing for that," he said. "It's like, it's not a razor but it's not that hot wax shit that costs sixty bucks."

Full Mast raised an eyebrow. "You know way too much about your sister's body grooming habits," he said.

"Yeah, because I eavesdrop on the girls every chance I get," Zephyr said with a shrug. "Also because we used to fight over her shaving her pubes in the bathroom and leaving the nastiest mess everywhere."

"Oh, DUDE!" Tipi said, eyes wide.

Full Mast rolled his eyes. "Settle down," he said. "A girl's pube mess is nothing but disgusting."

"I know, right?" Zephyr said. "I'm glad Shy does that someplace else."

"I wish my sister would do that someplace else," Full Mast lamented. "Or at least do it often enough that I don't have to see those huge gross green pubes all over the bathroom." He shuddered. "I've seen smaller bushes in the park, man."

"Oh dude, you've seen your sister naked?!" Tipi exclaimed.

Full Mast shrugged. "Like I said, she's not much to look at. I mean, she's all weird boobs and shaggy bush and shit and she just lets herself go." He sighed. "If she was more like Fluttershy...man, I'd be in there every night with a camera." Both boys looked at Zephyr.

Zephyr grimaced. "Look, I told you already, she locks her bedroom door," he said. "Besides, she'd find out, trust me." A pained wince overtook his face. "It's so not worth it."

"Dude, it so is worth it," Tipi said. "Man, if I had a sister that hot, I'd do all kind of stuff—"

"No you wouldn't," Zephyr cut across him. "No matter how bad you'd want to, you wouldn't. Girls like Fluttershy? They can make your life hell."

"You say that, but you still go out of your way to tick her off," Full Mast pointed out.

Zephyr shrugged. "Well, yeah. She's my sister. Besides, she spends like, half her life cockblocking me, dig? She's got it comin'."

* * * * *

"So Fluttershy," Rarity asked once the girls had calmed down, "whyever did you steal such a fascinating book from your brother?"

"Because I'm super peeved at him," Fluttershy said, her good humor evaporating.

"When are you not?" Rainbow wondered idly, rolling her eyes.

"What'd he do now?" Sunset asked.

Fluttershy blew on her bangs in irritation. "He brings his loser pervo friends around and then he starts making all kinds of animal double entendres. I'll be cuddling Mr. Mittens and," she pitched her voice in an imitation of Zephyr's, "'Woo, Fluttershy! Look at her strokin' that pussy!'"

"Ugh!" Twilight said, a nauseated look on her face.

"That's so not cool," Pinkie added.

"Oh, it gets worse," Fluttershy said. "Owlice and Owlbert came around for treats and he asked if his friends could 'play with my hooters too'..." She gestured dismissively. "You get the idea."

"Man, what a creep," Rainbow said.

"You'd think he'd have learned his lesson after the time I shoved the vacuum cleaner hose down his pants," Fluttershy said.

"Ouch," Twilight said, glasses sliding down her nose. "Boy am I glad I get along with my brother, this sounds like sheer hell!"

"Sibling rivalry is one thing, but what Fluttershy and Zephyr Breeze have ain't normal," Rainbow said in a dry, bored tone. "Like the time she caught him sellin' her used panties."

"What?!" Twilight spluttered, eyes wide.

"That's why I shoved the vacuum cleaner hose down his pants," Fluttershy said, eyes half-lidded. "He should be thanking me, I mean, it's probably the only time in his whole life he'll ever get his dick sucked."

The girls all stared at Fluttershy, jaws agape and eyes wide.

In the silence, Maud Pie stepped out from the other side of the Wondercolts statue, studying a rock she held. "That was funny," she said dispassionately as she walked past. "Hello Pinkie Pie."

The other girls shook their heads dumbly. "I, umm...I wonder what sibling rivalry is like at Pinkie's house!" Rarity said in an overly cheerful tone.

"We don't really do sibling rivalry," Maud said. "The closest thing we have is when Limestone leaves her underwear lying around. I think she does it on purpose so she can scream at people for stepping on her bra."

"Yeah, pretty much," Pinkie said. "I mean, there's the time Marble got drunk and stuck a popsicle up my butt, but..." She shivered. "Don't really wanna talk about that."

Everyone stared at her. Then slowly turned to stare at Maud. Who blinked once, dispassionately.

"Marble is totally psycho," Maud said blandly.

Author's Note

Kudos to NocturnalLillith for the chapter title.