ItCameFromMars Equestrian Tour!
“Quite a crowd there lad eh?” Josh asks Dreo in a thick Scottish accent.
“Yeah, I guess we better put on a show then.” Dreo shouts back in an Australian accent.
“Dreo! Grab your guitar and prepare to rock your stadium ol’ chap.” Aaron shouts in a thick old English accent.
-After the show-
“Aaron lad! Pass me mah Iron Brew!” Josh shouts as he flops onto a sofa.
“I do believe there’s a word you’re missing in that sentence. Thy word begins with P and ends in Lease.” Aaron replies.
“I’m Scottish. I don’t say please.” Josh replies with a grunt.
“Oi Aaron mate pass him the drink ya posh cunt.” Dreo groans as he strokes his pet crocodile which has no teeth for safety.
“Ah’m still amazed they let ya keep him.” Josh says as he opens a bottle of Iron Brew.
“I ‘ad him since I was 15.” Dreo replies patting his crocodiles head.
The room then falls silent. Then suddenly....
A fart is heard coming from Aaron.
“Sorry chaps. I had taco bell.” Aaron says with a chuckle.
“THAT’S FUCKEN MINGING!” Josh shouts with a laugh.
“Hang on a sec lads. I’ll be back in a jiffy.” Dreo says as he runs out of the room and towards the restroom.
Mumbles and groans fill the room from the remaining members. Until.
“WHAT THA FACK?!” Dreo shouts as he enters the room.
“Ya clog tha toilet or sumit?” Josh asks with a groan.
“Guys ya gotta see this!” Dreo shouts as he runs into the door not realising it closed behind him.
Josh rocks backwards and forwards laughing at Dreo.
“Now’s not tha time mate. Ya gotta see the bathroom! There’s some weird portal thing!” Dreo says as he stands back up and opens the door.
The band then head towards the bathroom.
“Would you look at that! It’s a portal!” Aaron says as he scratches his hairless chin.
“Aye lad it is. But where does it go?” Josh asks.
“I don’t know mate let’s find out!” Dreo says as he jumps into the portal.
“Fuck it! Here I come lad!” Josh shouts as he jumps into the portal only for his belly to become stuck.
“You fat bastard! You blocked the bloody portal!” Aaron shouts as he kicks Josh’s butt through the portal.
“You ready Martin old chap?” Aaron asks as he prepares to jump through.
“Yeah, let’s go.” Martin replies.
Aaron jumps first followed shortly by Martin.
They then appear in a small town surrounded by multicoloured horses.
“GET OFF ME YA FAT FUCK!” Dreo shouts as he tries to push Josh off of him.
“Say that again and I’ll bite yer fuckin’ nose off!” Josh growls.
“Quit the fighting you bunch of pricks.” Aaron says with annoyance in his voice.
“Guys.... Why are there horses looking at us?” Martin asks.
“Huh?” Dreo asks.
Josh climbs off of Dreo and takes a second to look around.
“IT’S A FUCKING PONY! Are we in Equestria or summit?” Josh asks.
“I think we are!” Dreo answers.
“Equestria? You mean that land from the children’s show?” Aaron asks.
“Go and fuck yerself before I fucking stab you ya nonce!” Josh growls at Aaron.
“Look Aaron. It isn’t just a children’s show. It’s a great show that a lot of adults watch you tea drinking crumpet fucker.” Dreo groans.
“How dare you! I do not drink tea!” Aaron growls.
“Lads. Ponies at 12 O’clock.” Josh says stopping the arguing.
Aaron is then immediately kicked by a passing mare causing him to fall to the ground.
Josh, Dreo and Martin all burst into laughter.
“How rude! No manners in this town.” Aaron groans as he stands back up.
“Ya got rekt there matey!” Josh says with a chuckle.
“What are you?” A voice asks form behind.
“Scottish little mare lassy.” Josh says proudly.
“Ignore him, we’re humans.” Dreo answers.
“Yer a prick.” Josh grumbles under his voice.
“Are you a species of Minotaur?” The voice asks again.
“Minotaur? Nah bonny lass. We’re humans. A species of our own.” Josh explains.
The band then turn around the look down to see a 4 foot tall pony talking to them.
“Twilight Sparkle?” Dreo asks.
“Yes. Who are you?” Twilight asks.
“I’m Dreo Lead Singer and Backing Guitarist of ItCameFromMars, this is Josh Screamer for ItCameFromMars, Aaron Drummer for ItCameFromMars and Martin guitarist for you guessed it. ItCameFromMars. And we are of course ItCameFromMars.” Dreo says proudly.
“So.... You came from ‘Mars’ where ever that is?” Twilight asks.
“No. We came from earth.” Aaron explains. “Mars is a planet near earth.”
“Earth? You mean the place from the Hearth’s warming play? The not real place?” Twilight asks.
“I can assure ya lass. Earth exists as much as you do. Now if you’ll excuse me you being here means that Applejack is here. Which means that cider is here.” Josh says as he rubs his hands together.
“Your tall. What’s your name? Wanna be friends?” A pink pony asks.
“Tall? Ya damn right! 6 foot tall and 308 pounds of pure human. Or 185 Centimetres and 139 Kilograms if you’re one of those type of people.” Josh says happily.
“People? Silly filly I’m a pony not a people!” The pink pony replies.
“Urm Pinkie Pie. Could ya move? Yer blocking the alcohol.” Josh asks.
“Alcohol? But it’s midday!” Pinkie Pie points out.
“Midday?!” Josh asks in a panic.
“Yeah!” Pinkie Pie replies.
“I’m late for my booze!” Josh shouts as he runs past her.
“No alcohol yet!” Pinkie Pie shouts as she chases after Josh.
“Well then. That was rather interesting to watch.” Aaron says with a shrug.
“Yeah it was.” Martin says.
“Anyone seen my croc?” Dreo asks.
A creature is then thrown out of the portal and straight into Dreo.
“Ah fuck!” Dreo shouts as the crocodile lands on him.
“What’s that?” Twilight asks.
“It’s a crocodile.” Aaron answers.
“That’s a weird looking crocodile.” Twilight Sparkle says.
“It’s normal from down under.” Dreo says proudly.
“Anyway. We need to go to Applejacks farm to find Josh.” Aaron says.
“Good point. Let’s go.” Dreo says.
ItCameFromMars Equestrian Tour!
-Josh-
“Pinkie mah little lassie. Can ya fuck off now?” I ask angrily.
“What does Fuck mean?” Pinkie asks excitedly.
“When you ride mah dick. Now go away ya nonce.” I shout angrily.
Pinkie Pie runs away with a blush on her face.
“I beat the UN BEATABLE!” I shout with a pump of my fist.
I continue running towards Apple Acres. As I reach the gates I see a large red pony working in the fields.
“HEY! BIG AND RED! I’m here for yer Cider!” I shout as I run through the fence.
“YA JUST BROKE THA FENCE!” A voice shouts from inside the house.
“YEP! NOW GIVE ME THA BOOZE!” I shout as I come to a standstill.
“JOSH!” Dreo’s voice shouts.
“DREO! ARE YOU HERE FOR THE BOOZE TOO?” I shout at him.
Dreo runs up to me only to trip over a small rock.
“Get wrecked scrub!” I laugh loudly.
“Shut the fuck up!” Dreo growls.
“Eat the grass some more nerd.” I laugh.
“I’m not a nerd! Kiss my croc!” Dreo groans as he picks himself up off of the ground.
“What in tarnation happened to the fence?” AppleJack asks with a scowl.
“I broke through it so I could get to tha booze!” I say proudly.
-Narrator Laddie!-
AppleJack growls at Josh as Dreo slinks away leaving the two of them to their own devices.
“COME AT MEH!” Josh shouts clenching his fists.
“Here ah come!” AppleJack says charging Josh.
Dreo then slips on an apple and falls onto AppleJack, causing both of them to fall to the ground.
“I WIN!” Josh shouts pumping a fist.
“I fell onto something soft and I’m scared!” Dreo shouts as he squeezes his hand.
AppleJack whinnies causing Dreo to look at where his hand is grabbing, to see he is squeezing AppleJack’s flank.
AppleJack gives Dreo an angry glare, causing Dreo to jump off of her and sprint straight into the barn, followed by AppleJack.
From the outside the barn is seen rocking side to side.
“When the barn’s a rocking don’t come a knocking!” Josh shouts laughing followed by whistles.
Dreo and AppleJacks heads are then spotted poking out of the barn window glaring towards Josh.
“Nothing happened!” Dreo shouts blushing heavily.
“DARN RIGHT NOTHING HAPPENED!” AppleJack shouts with an equal blush.
Pinkie Pie then pops up in front of Josh’s face.
“Hi there friend!” Pinkie says happily.
“FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!” Josh shouts to the heavens.
“No! I don’t wanna fuck you weirdo!” Pinkie says giving Josh a weird look.
“I hate my life.” Josh groans.
Josh then runs into the barn grabs Dreo then runs into the cellar of the barn grabs two bottles of cider and leaves a number of pound notes equalling £40 then runs out of the barn carrying Dreo over his shoulder and the two bottles in his hands.
“YA BETTER HAVE PAYED FOR THEM!” AppleJack shouts.
“’COURSE I DID!” Josh shouts as he runs out through the gap in the fence he left earlier.
Josh continues to run till in the distance he spies the band tour bus “The Shuttle”.
“When did that get here?” Dreo asks confused.
“Don’t know, don’t care.” Josh replies bluntly as he runs towards the bus.
“I care! It’s my bus!” Dreo shouts as he falls off of Josh’s shoulder and lands on his face. “FUCK!” Dreo shouts.
“Shit! Sorry bro!” Josh says laughing.
Josh then back tracks to Dreo picking him up then continuing to run towards the shuttle.
Josh then flings the door open to see Aaron hugging a mare.
“We’ll talk about this later Britty boy.” Josh says as he drops Dreo to the ground.
“OW! My butt!” Dreo says with a growl.
“Second time you’ve said that!” Josh says with a laugh.
“WOOOOOOW! I hate you....” Dreo says with a groan and a frown.
“So.... Who’s the mare?” Dreo asks with a smirk.
“Her name’s Tree Hugger.” Aaron admits adding a fake cough.
“Just spreading the love man!” Tree Hugger says as she cuddles against Aaron.
“NOPE!” Dreo says as he pushes the mare out of “The Shuttle” then closes the door.
“Drive! I hear music! Which means performances! Which meeeeeaaaannnnss! We can perform!” Dreo says with a smile.
Josh sits in the drivers seat and grabs the steering wheel.
“You guys ready?” Josh asks.
“YES!” Dreo shouts.
“Can I just say that I’m not....” Aaron says.
“NO!” Dreo cuts him off.
Josh then puts the pedal to the metal and drives off towards where the sounds of music can be heard.
-1o minutes later-
“WE’RE HERRRRRRRE!” Josh sings.
“Get your stuff ready bois! We’re gonna perform and rock their world.” Dreo says getting the others pumped up.
“Who’s ready to fuck the groupies!?!?! I AM!” Josh shouts excitedly.
“Please don’t fuck the groupies.... It cost a lot of money and sentence time for that last show!” Dreo scolds.
“Fine! I’ll only fuck one of them!” Josh says with a sigh.
“I hate you.” Dreo facepalms.
“You might get your own hot groupies.” Josh says winking at Dreo.
“God damnit!” Dreo says as he grabs his Fender Standard Strat Arctic White with Rosewood Fretboard guitar and heads out of the “Shuttle”.
“Josh you ready to scream you’re lungs out?” Aaron asks.
“Absolutely mate! I’m prepared as possible.” Josh says as prepares his throat.
The group then grab their instruments and head towards the building.
“Who are you?” A bouncer pony asks holding a clipboard.
“We’re ItCameFromMars! We’re performing tonight.” Dreo answers.
“I don’t see you on the list.... You’re also not from around here are you?” The bouncer asks.
“Nope, Ah’m from Scotland, I’m from Australia mate, I’m from England ol’ chap and I’m from England too.” The band answers.
“Never heard of any of them. But since you have instruments then I guess you must have just been forgotten off of the list. Head on in.” The bouncer says waving the band in.
“Can you watch ‘The Shuttle’ please?” Dreo asks the bouncer as he points towards the bus.
“What is it?” The bouncer asks.
“It’s our transport. That’s how we got our instruments.” Dreo answers.
“Urm.... Okay....” The bouncer says with a look of confusion on his face.
-Back Stage-
“Josh.... This place plays country music you fucknugget!” Dreo growls.
“Fight me you Shrimp on the BBQ croc fucker.” Josh laughs.
Dreo glares at Josh then sighs.
“Well bois, let’s get ready to show them that we humans can rock out better than any of them!” Josh says getting them all hyped.
The band walks out onto the stage and all walk towards the singer on stage.
“We’re next. You need to move yer stuff off the stage love.” Josh whisper into the mare’s ear.
“I was told I was the only one who made it.” The mare says with a nervous look on her face.
“I’m sorry lassie, but we managed to make it. Now could ya get yer stuff of the stage.” Josh asks politely as he can muster.
“Okay. They’re all yours.” The mare says as she walks towards the country band.
The mare and the band then walk off of the stage.
Josh plugs his mic into a speaker he brought with him, whilst Dreo put down two speakers, one for his Mic and the other for his guitar. Dreo then pulls his guitar off of his back and plugs it in followed shortly by his mic. Aaron sets up his drum kit and speaker whilst Martin plugs his guitar into his speaker.
“Hello there little pony dudes! Ya ready for some human music?” Josh asks into his microphone.
The crowd then look at each other then proceed to stomp their hooves while a few let out cheers.
“Ya ready boys?” Josh asks the other band members.
The others nod their heads.
“This is a song called Deaths Ally.” Dreo says into the mic.
“Dreo Singing”
[Josh Singing]
(Josh Screaming)
-Start of Song-
“The day I met you was the most important day of my life, I will never forget that day.”
(Because it was the day you ruined me!)
“I’d love to meet you one last time, tell you everything I kept from you.”
(Like how you’re nothing more than a disease to my heart!)
(Change the perspective and try living in my shoes!)
(My hole ridden and broken shoes!)
(You destroyed all that made me human!)
(Now I’ll destroy you like you destroyed my) [sanity!]
(THERE’S NO END TO THIS PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIN!)
“My hands are steady, My blood cold as ice I’m missing a heartbeat please help!
I’m scared please don’t let me die, I just want to see you one last time!”
(I want to meet you one last time!)
“(JuST ONE LAST TIIIIIIIIIIMMMMEEEE!)”
(MEET you one last tiiiiiiiiime!)
(I want to meet you one last time and watch the walls you created crumble all around you!)
(I won’t dig you out from the rubble as the sight of you dying will bring me back to liiiiiiiiiiiife!)
“My hands are steady, My blood cold as ice I’m missing a heartbeat please help!”
“I’m scared please don’t let me die, I just want to see you one last time!”
“My hands are steady, My blood cold as ice I’m missing a heartbeat please help!”
“I’m scared please don’t let me die, I just want to see you one last time!”
“I want to grow up and move on but you’re my anchor to my old life.”
“Please let me leave and start a real life.”
“Don’t let me die here surrounded by sorrow and hatred.”
“I want to die around friends and not enemies.”
“My hands are steady, My blood cold as ice I’m missing a heartbeat leave me to die!”
“I finally accept death please let me die!”
(Let me die.)
“Please let me die.”
-End of Song-
The crowd look towards the stage all shocked out of their minds. A small group of the crowd start to clap and whistle whilst the rest whisper and start to leave.
“Since this is our first performance in Equestria feel free to come back stage and meet us.” Dreo says as he puts his guitar back on his back.
The band wave to everyone off stage and head back stage.
“Shame we only had time for one song. I hate the whole schedule keeping thing we have to do.” Josh says as he picks up his stuff.
“Same.” Aaron says picking his stuff up.
“Yeah well it was their first exposure to screamo. Just start them off easy.” Dreo says as he heads back stage followed by the rest of the band.
“AWESOME PERFORMANCE!” Two voices come from the back stage entrance.
The band look over and see two mares in the doorway.
“Who are you?” Dreo asks.
