"Wakin up like 'Hello'
Feelin so mellow
Fresh up out the shower
But there's nothin on my schedule-"

Ryan awakes slowly as his phone goes off, prompting him to get his ass out of bed before he decides to spend the rest of his life in it. At this point in time, the idea was more tempting than usual. His head was pounding; more so than when he leaped out of an old friend's window and didn't know how to roll properly, thus resulting in him landing hard on his side with his skull taking most of the impact. Reaching down he groggily grabs his phone from the clip on his side.

"Yeah; Watchin cartoons up in my room...
Watchin cartoons up in my-"

The phone goes silent as he swipes his thumb across the screen, dismissing it for the morning. He replaces his phone back to his side before slowly pushing himself up from the bed. Hangovers weren't exactly common for him, unless his drinking got too excessive and couldn't be helped, but this was ridiculous.

The motion didn't do him any favors, even though he was moving much slower than usual. He places a hand to his head as he tries to put together what all happened the night before. "Brain, status report..."

I remember a whole lot of pink, but that's about it. Just...just give me a minute...

You know it's bad when even your brain starts talking like it has a hangover.

Wasting no further time, Ryan pulls himself out of bed and stretches his limbs. It wasn't until he allowed himself to relax from that, that he realized something very peculiar. He had no idea where he was. He knew he was still in the castle, that much was obvious. But, he couldn't identify the room. It wasn't his...neither was the other one, but still.

"Anything yet?" He asked curiously.

I said give me a fuckin' minute, alright!

"Prick..." Ryan says with a deadpan expression.

Seeing no point in sticking around, he leaves the room and begins another pain in the neck walk through this over sized play-set. He walked past a few guards, knowing he could ask them for directions, but not bringing himself to do so. He found them creepy, the way they were trained to hold completely still. You couldn't even tell that they were breathing unless you payed very, VERY close attention to them.

After a few minutes of pacing he found himself met with a familiar sight, the entrance to the dining room. He gave the air a quick whiff and could just barely catch a sent coming from within.

His entrance wasn't graceful, nor grand, as he sloppily made his way to the table and takes a seat. It isn't until he is seated that he starts looking around the room. Luna was sitting at the end of the table, Cadence sat on the side just opposite of him, and Celestia was working the stove not too far from them.

One thing Ryan quickly took note of was the looks being sent his way from the two princesses sitting at the table with him. Both were giving him an odd smile, like they were happy to see him; Yet, at the same time, they looked sad.

Ryan's attention went primarily to the mare that he least expected this from. Luna was staring directly at him, looking as though she had seen the ending to a sad movie, but was smiling because it was so good.

"Good morning, Ryan." Luna said with a tone he couldn't quite recognize. "Did you sleep well?"

Ryan had to blink a few times and even rub his eyes to make sure that he was positive it was Luna who was speaking to him. "I...guess?" Feeling a bit awkward with her, his attention turned to Cadence, who was still giving him the same look as well.

Pink...Pink...PINK!!!

"I was with you last night, wasn't I?" He asked, still being a bit fuzzy on the details.

Cadence felt her stomach rise up to her throat as he asked this. "Y-yes, we were together for a while."

Ryan nodded, "You mind filling me in on what happened. I'm kinda falling short on...everything, I guess."

"We spent most of the night talking and telling jokes." She said, mostly to stall him while she came up with a story to keep him from asking too many questions. She couldn't help but feel like telling him the truth would be bad. One specific thought crossed her mind, making this easy. "We had a few drinks, told stories; then you started hitting on me, so I cast a spell to put you to sleep."

I wanna say she's lying...but that does sound like something we would do...

There was a pause as he thought it over, but he couldn't find any reason not to believe her. "You know what, I don't fuckin' doubt it; Good call."

Before further words could be exchanged, Celestia arrived to the table, levitating several filled plates and cups of coffee in front of everyone. She took a seat and looked over at the human. "Good morning, sunshine." She said with a smirk, "How was your night?"

"Apparently I tried to fuck your niece." Ryan said with a shrug, looking over at Cadence with a small grin. "Which...you really can't blame me for trying." He had to use everything in his power not to laugh as Cadence turned a comical shade of red.

"Before we dig in," Luna began, earning the attention of the entire table. "I believe there is a matter we should discuss." She seemed to thinking hard about what she was saying, and what she wanted to say. She angled her head toward the human. "Ryan, in light of some newfound information, my sister and I have decided that your punishment shall be disbanded."

Upon hearing this, Ryan started choking on the coffee he went to drink from as she started speaking. He assumed she was going to bitch at him, or make the trial of staying here more difficult somehow, so he needed it to keep himself from strangling her. This, however, caught him completely off guard. Once his coughing fit had settled down, he was ready to start questioning her on this decision.

Don't! Look! A gift horse...in the mouth! If you ask why, she might change her mind!

Ryan took a few stabling breaths, deciding to preserve his sanity rather than sate his curiosity. "Okay?"

On that note, everyone except him started digging into their breakfast. He just couldn't. He wanted so badly to know what made them change their minds, but at the same time, he didn't want to push his luck.

Okay, we've missed a step, that's obvious. Let's just go home and pretend like this whole thing never happened and you'll feel better.

He took a breath, figuring that it would be easier to do things that way than to try and figure it all out. Once everyone had finished their breakfast, a carriage was summoned to deliver the human back to Ponyville. They said their goodbyes, shared a few awkward hugs, then he was off.

Celestia stared at the carriage as it flew into the distance, letting out a distressed sigh as she look back at her niece, with her sister sharing her look by her side. "Are you sure there's nothing we could have done?"

Cadence nodded, "I'm sorry, auntie. But, damage like that cannot simply be repaired. He must find a way on his own in order to truly love again. Then, just maybe, he will be able to save himself."

This did little to lift Celestia's mood. If anything, it made her feel worse, knowing that she couldn't help him. "I hope he can..."

The ride back home was easy. With him no longer having any company, he spent the entire trip napping on the seat. He woke up once they started their descent into town, the turbulence from the dwindling altitude being more than enough to shake him out of his sleep.

The landing was simple enough. Once they were at a complete stop, he opened the door and looked out to find himself in front of Twilight's castle. Not too surprisingly, all six of his, quote unquote, friends were there waiting for him. Starlight was there as well, but staying true to their previous agreement, he ignored her.

He stretched his limbs again as he hopped out of the carriage, the pony-powered vehicle taking off shortly after. There wasn't a second to spare as he was about to turn tail and walk home, that Applejack came up and punched him square in the mouth. Ryan placed a hand to his now bleeding lip as he stabilized himself, the force of her strike nearly knocking him over.

"Applejack!" Rarity yelled as she came to the rescue, standing by her earth pony friend with a reprimanding look on her face. "I know what he did was uncalled for, but so is-"

"No!" Ryan yelled, silencing his savior. "No, I had it coming." He got his bearings back, pulling his hand from his face to see a decent amount of blood coating it. His upper lip was swollen and had a deep cut from where she had hit him. He shook his head, closed his eyes, and took a breath; preparing himself for the next part. "You got one more...Make it count!" No sooner than he had finished that statement, Applejack's fist connected with his stomach. This hit didn't knock him over, but it did bring him to his knees as the air was knocked clean out of his lungs, his arms instinctively wrapping themselves around his gut. "Fffuck..."

The next couple of days consisted of Ryan sitting at home doing pretty much nothing. After putting up a new door, and making sure nothing was stolen from his house, his schedule was empty. There was no work to be done, no parties to attend, no mares to mount, and plenty of drinks in the fridge. He sat with his ass almost fused to his couch with a bottle of hard cider in one hand and the other resting comfortably on stomach.

"This is the life." He muttered to himself, a dopey smile etched onto his face as he placed the lip of the bottle to his mouth and finished it off. "I needed this."

Screw that; we deserved this!

Ryan set the empty bottle aside and leaned his head back, letting it sink into the soft, welcoming cushions. He's able to relax for about two minutes when several knocks started coming from his front door.

Fuck!

Ryan let out a less-than-satisfied groan as he got up from his seat and walked over to the door. He leaned with his back against the wooden obstacle that kept him safe from the outside world. "We don't give money, we don't do charities, and we don't buy raffle tickets. Unless you're giving away free beer, fuck off!"

"~Oh, Ryan!" Pinkie sang from the other side, earning another groan from the human.

"What do you want, Pinkie?" He asked with little to no enthusiasm.

"Me and the girls were gonna have a slumber party!" She began, speaking almost too fast for him to keep up with. "But then some stuff came up and now there's almost nopony left! So, I thought we could invite you to join us and maybe, just maybe, we could have it here."

There was a brief pause as Ryan thought about how to respond. "Pinkie, how many times have I told you that you were on crack?"

"One hundred and seventy-two times exactly!"

"Well make it one hundred and seventy-three, cause you're so hopped up on crack that you've clearly forgotten who you're speaking to."

"Please, Ryan..." She begged, "It's only for one night and we haven't seen you in four days."

"Go. Away. Crack horse."

Ryan was about to walk away, but a familiar sound picked up, causing him to freeze in place. There was a pattern of loud sniffing as well as a soft, high pitched whining coming from outside.

Please...for the love of god...please, tell me she isn't crying.

Lo and behold, the sound of Pinkie quietly sobbing behind the door broke through his ear drums like a brick through a glass window. Suddenly his mind became a scattered mess of chaos and destruction as he tried to ignore her cries. However, he was only human; he could only handle so much.

The front door opened with Ryan standing inside, nodding his head in disgust at himself. "Just fuckin' come in already..."

"Yay!" Pinkie exclaimed, her mood suddenly picking back up as she bounded through the door and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, Ryan!"

"I hate you so much..."

Die!

Pinkie, along with Rarity and, surprisingly enough, Starlight came in. They were all carrying some sort of bag that matched the color of their fur.

Ryan's eyes locked onto the unicorn that once studied beneath Twilight, shooting her a questioning gaze. She looked back at him, motioning to Pinkie with her head, which was all he needed to know that she wasn't here entirely of her own free will. He closed the door and followed them into the center of his living room.

The pony's set their bags on the floor, Pinkie being quick to start going through hers and pulling out various baking supplies. "I'll get started on making the snacks. Rarity, you can set up the room; Starlight, you're on game duty."

With everypony given their instructions, they got to work. Rarity was moving furniture around and laying down layers of blankets on the floor.

Seeing how she didn't really ask if she could start moving shit, let's go ahead and NOT tell her that the couch doubles as a bed

The room was soon rearranged and ready for the night. Starlight reached into her bag and pulled out a number of games, some of which Ryan couldn't identify. Most of them looked like simple board games, but it hardly mattered. He wasn't planning on partaking in any of them.

Ryan moved to the kitchen, having realized how awkward it must be for him to just be standing in the living room and watching them set everything up. Watching Pinkie though was a different story entirely. Not keeping an eye on her could be detrimental to his health and home. She was a very skilled baker, that much was known, but you never know when she'll do something so stupid that the oven could potentially explode.

Everything seemed to be in order as Pinkie worked with both speed and precision, quickly whipping up the batter for whatever she was making. Feeling somewhat confident that his house wouldn't go up in flames, Ryan left the kitchen and made his way to his room so he could ignore them for the rest of the night.

Not very surprisingly, Ryan felt something grab his arm and begin dragging him away from his room. His legs went limp and dragged against the floor as he was pulled. He knew something like this would happen sooner or later, so wasn't fazed at all when it happened.

Pinkie had a firm grip on Ryan's arm, intent on making him join in on all of the fun she had planned for the night.

The night progressed with Ryan staying as far away from them as possible, but still being forced to at least stay in the room with the ponies. They played games, maxed out on some tasty pastries and told scary stories; The latter of which Ryan decided to join in on. He told twisted stories that he knew from his world, mostly recounting a number of some of his favorite creepypastas back in the day. Pinkie really got into the Origins of Laughing Jack, at least until he got to the part where the cat dies and then Issac tried to rape, then murdered an innocent woman. After that, her enjoyment of the story quickly turned tail and got the fuck outta Dodge.

Once the shock, and the signs of shattering sanity wore off, they moved on to the next activity; Truth or Dare. It started off innocent enough, but after a few lines were crossed, it became the biggest dick-fighting competition with everyone aiming to embarrass each other as much as possible.

They all sat in a circle, placing one of the empty bottles that was just lying around in the center of their circle to be used as a tool for the game. Starlight spun the bottle and after a few seconds it stopped with its neck pointing at Rarity.

"Alright, Rarity." Starlight began with an eager smile. "Truth or dare?"

Rarity placed a hand to her chin as she weighed her options. "How about...Truth."

Starlight was a little upset that her friend hadn't chosen to take a dare, but she had a back-up plan that was almost as devious. "What is your biggest guilty pleasure?"

As much as she wanted to argue against answering this, she knew she couldn't. Rules were rules and she didn't want Pinkie to come up with an alternative for her. She's a great friend and all, but she could be mischievous and downright evil when she needed to.

Rarity's entire face turned beat red as she twiddled her thumbs and started engaging in a few nervous ticks. "I like...to...watch stallions...cross dress."

Instantly, Pinkie and Ryan lost it, rolling on the floor with laughter. Starlight at least had the decency to hold back, only letting out a few snorts as she placed a hand over her mouth to keep herself quiet.

"Alright, that's enough!" Rarity snapped, getting frustrated with their laughter. "It's my turn." She grabbed the bottle and spun it as Ryan and Pinkie pulled themselves together. The bottle came to a stop, pointing at Pinkie. "Truth or Dare, Pinkie?"

"Truth!" She said without missing a beat.

Rarity grinned evilly as she came up with a question that should catch the bubbly pink mare off-guard. "What's your favorite sex position?"

Without even flinching, Pinkie took a long drink from a red cup filled with punch. Once she had finished it off, she let out a satisfied sigh, smiling the whole time. "All of them."

Not wasting any time, she spun the bottle while the whole room stared at her. The first one to break the cycle was Ryan, who looked over at Rarity and Starlight with an unamused expression. "She aint lying."

The bottle stopped, landing on Starlight. "Truth or dare?"

Starlight wanted to be the one to break this circle of truth. She may regret it later, but she didn't want to look like a coward either.

"Dare." She said with a cocky smirk.

"Someone's getting a little ballsy." Ryan commented, earning him a certain look from the unicorn.

"Oh, please." Starlight said, rolling her eyes at him. "This is child's play."

"Really now?" Pinkie cut in, wearing an almost disturbing grin that made Starlight quickly regret ever being born. "I dare you to get naked and stay that way all night."

Starlight's pupils turned to pinpricks as she stared at Pinkie's ever growing smile. "I-I can't! I..." She looked for any excuse to skip over this dare. "Ryan! Ryan's here. I can't get naked in front of him."

Ryan shrugged in response. "Not like I haven't seen it before."

It took her a minute to process this. "Wait, what!?"

"Don't think about it." He simply replied. Starlight tried to respond, but found herself stumbling over her words.

"Trust me, darling." Rarity chimed in, "There are certain things you just don't want to know about him."

Starlight turned back to Ryan, who was nodding in approval. After a moment of mentally preparing herself, she slowly started stripping down. Once every article of clothing had been removed, she covered herself with one of the blankets so she could at least keep some of her dignity. Reaching out from the blanket she was wrapped up in, Starlight grabbed the bottle and spun it.

"You need to not wear clothes more often." Ryan commented, making Starlight blush from embarrassment. "It suits you real well."

The bottle came to a stop, this time pointing at the grinning human who seemed more than happy to tease Starlight about her current situation. "Truth or dare, Ryan?"

"Dare."

Starlight paused, wondering what she could make him do to embarrass himself. His teasing may not have been that harsh, but it was no less annoying. She was already uncomfortable enough having to be naked in front of him and his comments didn't help.

Given his personality, there wasn't a lot he wouldn't do, but their had to be something. "Aha!" She exclaimed, finally coming up with the perfect dare. "Since you like nudity so much, I dare you to get naked and run around outside screaming..." She paused once again, trying to think of a way to add insult to injury. "Pink...fluffy unicorns, dancing on rainbows." She didn't know what had made her decide on those specific words, but it wasn't something she'd want to be caught dead doing.

Ryan gave her a deadpan look as she gave him his dare. A few seconds pass before he climbs to his feet, removes his belt, and drops his pants right in front of them. This position gave Starlight a clear view of what god had graced him with upon his birth. Walking out of his pants, he makes his way to the door, removing his shirt along the way before opening the door and walking outside with literally nothing on.

He takes in the night sky and open area, then breaks into a full sprint, leaving the three mares alone in his home.

Starlight stared with wide eyes at the open door, shocked by his seemingly limitless amount of bravery. Is there anything he won't do? "I wasn't actually expecting him to follow through."

"It's Ryan." Rarity responded, "What did you expect?"

"Anything but that..."

He hasn't followed through quite yet." Pinkie commented, "He still hasn't-"

"PINK, FLUFFY FUCKING UNICORNS, DANCING ON MOTHERFUCKING RAINBOWS!!!"

Pinkie shrugged with a smile, her earlier statement now becoming null and void. "Never mind!"

The naked human returned shortly after yelling his line into the heavens, closing the door behind him and taking a seat in his previous spot. He was panting, but still looked ready to take on the world. "Shall we continue?"

"Yeah..." Starlight replied, still somewhat in shock at his performance...and continuing nudity. "You know you can put your clothes back on, right?"

"Nope!" He exclaimed, "You asked for this, now you're gonna have to deal with it for the rest of the night."

"Yay! Naked slumber party!"Pinkie shouted, tossing some confetti into the air before stripping down as well.

Ryan glanced over at Rarity, noticing her lack of nudity. "You gonna join us, sweetheart?"

"I think I will pass." She said with a hint of disgust in her voice.

"Suit yourself." He finishes, soon feeling Pinkie press up against his back and hug him from behind. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Naked snuggles." She said with a wink, burying her face into the back of his neck.

Ryan shuddered, not used to being grabbed from behind, especially when it came to cuddling. "Can you get the fuck off of me!"

Pinkie pouted before returning to her spot, her smile quickly returning as Ryan reached for the bottle.

"That was a bit rude, don't you think?" Starlight commented, causing the human to stop in his track. "I mean, you didn't have to be so mean about telling her to get off of you,"

"What's your problem all of a sudden?" He asked, not out of anger or spite; mostly annoyance.

Starlight let out a sigh before speaking. "To be honest, I just don't really like your attitude."

Ryan nodded, knowing very well that his attitude was far from refined. "Well, I don't like your stupid."

Eat shit and die!

On that note, Ryan went back to what he was doing. In short; grabbing the empty bottle on the floor and giving it a hard twist, causing it to spin in front of them.

Author's Note

I gotta say; I really love this auto-read thing. It's making the job of editing this so much more tolerable. It's also nice for pointing out words that are misused or misspelled that my Grammar Check can't seem to identify. Easier to know it's wrong when you're hearing it read back to you out loud.
Anyway, I'm still fairly busy, so son't expect frequent updates, but I'll keep trying to get done what I can.
That all aside; If you're enjoy this story then slap that LIKE button like a bitch and feel free to leave a comment below. Comments make me feel special :P
ALSO; I almost forgot this. The alarm at the beginning is from this-