"Oh, well I'm the type of guy who will never settle down.
Where pretty girls are, well you know that I'm around."

Ryan groaned a bit, pulling himself into a sitting position on his bed. A soft belch escapes him as the contents of his stomach become stirred from the sudden motion. His eyes barely open as he takes in his surroundings; He doesn't remember how he got to his room, but he could assume why there was a naked pink mare sleeping beside him.

"I kiss 'em and I love 'em, cause to me there all the same.
I hug 'em and I squeeze 'em, they don't even know my name.
They call me the wan-"

His phone goes silent on its resting place beside the bed as Ryan absentmindedly swipes his finger across the screen, silencing his morning alarm. Thank god he found out how to change the time to Equestrian standards, otherwise he'd probably never get out of bed.

Ryan tosses his covers aside, onto the pink earth pony still snoring softly on the other side of his bed. He climbs up and makes his way to his closet to get dressed. He throws on a rather casual set of clothes, a simple pair of pants and a T-shirt. There wasn't anything that he needed to get done today, but if he didn't start moving now he never would.

He has to tiptoe his way out of his room and to the front door as to not disturb the two sleeping unicorns settled in on his floor.

No point in sticking around here if everypony is still sleeping...Coffee?

Coffee doesn't sound too bad. His phone always goes off at six o'clock, which means that Doughnut Joe's has been open for at least an hour and a half. After sneakily making his way outside he walked down to his favorite shop and took a seat at the counter. His eyelids were still pretty heavy and surrounded by dark rings.

Joe takes notice of the tired looking human and wastes no time placing an empty mug in front of him, pouring a fair amount of the dark beverage he was likely seeking into the cup. "Long night?"

"You could say that." Ryan simply replies, grabbing the mug by its handle and taking a long, deep drink from it. He places the nearly empty cup in front of him and lets out a satisfied sigh as Joe starts to refill it. "A few friends decided to pop up unannounced and have a sleepover at my place."

Joe nods, placing the coffee tin aside once the human's cup is filled. "I can see how that would warrant some irritation."

"Yeah," Ryan grabs the cup again, this time only sipping from it before setting it back down. "Worst of all, they made me join. Kept me up most of the night playing games and whatnot."

"Did you at least, uh-" Joe pauses, looking around to make sure nopony was listening in. "get anything out of it?" He asks with a suggestive smirk.

"You're a sick bastard, you know that?" The two shared a small amount of laughter before Ryan continued, "I woke up with Pinkie's fine ass pressed up against me, so I must have done something right."

Joe just stares at Ryan, an envious smile spread across his face. "How do you do it?" He asks, "I mean, no offense, you're not a bad looking guy or anything, but you're not exactly..."

"A pony." He finishes for him.

Joe shrugs, "Well...yeah. "

Ryan takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair some. "I don't know; I guess it's just my superpower." He grabs his cup and takes another sip. "You see Big Mac around lately?"

"Yes, actually. He came in yesterday and was asking if I had seen you?"

Ryan nodded, "Yeah, he's probably looking to kick my ass."

Joe shoots him a questioning gaze. "Why would he want to do that?"

"Cause of that scene I caused a while back with his sister and her friends."

Suddenly, it's as if a light bulb appeared above Joe's head. "You mean that fight that broke out in town?" Ryan nodded in response. "I thought that was you! I didn't see it go down, but I could hear you yelling from here."

"Yep!" Ryan said, recalling the day with a small amount of fondness. "That was the day; I punched a stallion, got into a screaming match, then assaulted a police officer with an apple."

Joe nodded again, this time disapprovingly. "You're something else, Ryan."

"You should see my father." Ryan said, rising from his seat and grabbing a few bits from his pocket before dumping them on the counter. "Might as well get this shit-show on the road." He said, figuring he should go over and try to clear the air with all of them. "If I ain't back by morning, call the sheriff. Tell him to look for freshly planted apple trees in the orchard."

It took Joe a second to catch on to his meaning, but once he did, he wore a rather disturbed look. He was actually a bit concerned for the human's safety now.

Ryan exited the shop and started toward Sweet Apple Acres. It took him longer than he'd like to admit to get there, seeing how he could never completely memorize the exact route he needed to take. He'd have gone to Twilight's and asked her for help, but she likely wouldn't be too pleased to see him either; What with how he acted when her niece was there.

Eventually, he found his way there and knocked on the door. Less than a minute passes before the elderly green mare with a silver mane, known to him as Granny, opens the door. She was dressed in an old floral dress and wore an apron over her front. She was also holding a rolling pin in her right hand, which she used to thump Ryan on the top of his head.

"Ow, fuck!" He yelped, holding a hand to the quickly developing lump on his scalp. After checking to make sure he wasn't bleeding, he gritted his teeth and powered through the pain. "Alright, I guess I deserved that one too."

"Yer darn tootin, you deserved that!" She all but yelled, thumping him in the head with the rolling pin again. "What were ya thinkin', goin out and pullin' a stunt like that? Yer lucky the Princess got you outta there, or you'd still be sittin' behind bars!"

"I know! I know, I'm sorry." Ryan replied, flinching as she brought up the pin to hit him again. "It was stupid and I make no excuses for what I did. I take full responsibility." Granny lowered the pin, but still kept her offensive stance. This helped Ryan calm down a bit. "I'm gonna take a wild guess that everyone's still pissed at me."

Granny Smith let out a sigh, her entire body visibly relaxing as she let down her guard. "They ain't mad at you, dear; And I aint either. We're just disappointed is all." Ryan almost rolled his eyes as he prepared himself for the 'Disappointed' speech. However, Granny mistook his expression for one of regret. "But I'm willing to forgive you, if you promise to stop drinkin around the youngins." She added with a smile.

Unless you wanna be beaten to death with a rolling pin, I think the decision has made itself.

Ryan forced a smile before answering. "Okay, Granny; I promise not to drink around the kids."

Granny Smith nodded approvingly. "Good..." In the blink of an eye her face went stern and the rolling pin was raised to the human's neck, causing him to freeze in place. "But should ya do somethin like that again, this here pin will be the least of yer worries." Her features softened as she lowered the pin and receded into the house. "Now get yer skinny little flank in here; We already ate, but there's plenty of leftovers." Ryan relaxed, following Granny into their eating area. "I know you got a bad habit of skippin breakfast, so just take yourself a seat and ah'll get you something to fill up on."

When your ancestors are as mixed as Ryan's, you tend to have difficulties making decisions for yourself. The Irishman can't turn down a drink, the German loves a good fight and likes to be in control, the northerner thinks he knows what's best, and the southerner gets shit done and can't turn down a free meal. When all of these traits are combined into one entity, you get left with a confused drunk whose brain is, at best, a boiling cauldron of spaghetti in which a single thought doesn't come as simply as it should.

So, you settle with what works; That being said, Ryan plants his ass into a chair and waits for Granny to do her thing. While she's out getting Ryan's breakfast ready, Apple Bloom descends from the stairs and spots the human sitting at the table.

"Ryan!" She yells excitedly, running at him at a full sprint and tackling him out of his seat. He yelps as he falls to the floor with the filly clinging to his form, her arms wrapped snugly around his neck. When she finally releases him, she stays sitting on his chest, looking down at him almost worriedly. "Where have you been? Nopony has seen you in days! Even Big Macintosh said that he couldn't find you."

"It's nice to see you too." Ryan says, sounding out of breath. "Can you please get off of me."

Apple Bloom compiles, but her curiosity continues to keep her mouth running. "Did that cop take you to jail? What was it like? Applejack said that Princess Celestia had to get you out. What happened after she got you? Did she-?"

Ryan sat up and quickly placed a hand over her mouth, finally silencing the tiny farm-horse. "Chill...Okay?" She nodded and he removed his hand from her muzzle. "Yes, I went to jail; It was boring, but it didn't last long. Sunbutt got me out, and in exchange, she handled my punishment." He climbed back to his feet, arching his back once he was up until it let out a few relieving pops. "Sweet Christ!"

Granny Smith returned as Ryan picked up his chair and took his seat once again. "There ya go, dear. Now you eat up, ah gotta get things ready. Cider season's comin up and ah wanna be prepared."

Ryan looked down at the plate she set before him; Fried eggs and toast.

Good enough, by my standards. Doesn't quite beat waffles and whisky, but I'll take it.

Ryan got to work on his small breakfast while Granny left to do God-knows-what for cider season. Apple Bloom grabbed a chair by the human and took a seat beside him. He looked over at her, his own curiosity starting to grow. "So how are your friends doing?" He asked, his mouth full of food.

"They're doin alright." She answered happily. "Scootaloo's a little iffy on bein around you after what happened, but Sweetie Belle's been worryin her head off about nopony bein able ta find you."

"Well, you can tell her that I'm fine." He said, taking a bite from his toast. "After I got back from Canterlot I had a bit of a staycation; Been sitting at home doing absolutely nothing for a while."

"You didn't answer the door when we went down to see if you were home." She added, her and her friends having gone there to look for him. "We didn't think anypony was there."

Ryan finished off what little was left on his plate before responding. "Oh, I was. I heard you guys."

"Why didn't you answer then?"

"Staycation 101; Don't open the door for anything." He explained, "I made that mistake last night and the next thing I knew; There was a slumber party going on in my living room."

Apple Bloom raised a brow at him. "You make it sound like that's a bad thing. It actually sound really fun."

"Wait until you get older." He said, his more isolated mindset getting the better of him. "Sometimes you just want to be left alone; Whether it be to think, to get away, or simply for the peace of mind that comes with it."

Apple Bloom blinked a few times as she stared at Ryan, who seemed to be deep in thought. Despite the expressionless look on his face, he seemed sad, in a way. "You're weird..."

Ryan didn't react to her comment. He just continued staring off into nothingness, whispering something she couldn't quite understand to himself.

Both of them are interrupted by the sound of the front door opening, causing them to turn their attention toward the ponies entering. Applejack led the way, taking off her stetson to wipe some of the sweat from her head. Big Mac followed behind her, running a hand through his greasy hair in an attempt to dry it some.

"Howdy!" Ryan greeted with a wave, quickly earning their attention.

Applejack's face quickly went to something less than pleasant as she marched toward him, stopping only when she was close enough to almost bump him with her chest. She reaches down and grabs his bottom jaw with one of her strong hands, pulling him up until he's forced to stand in front of her.

After that she just stares at him, like she's looking for something. Using her free hand, she snaps her fingers in both of his ears, causing him to flinch from the sound. Next, she holds a finger in front of his eyes, moving it from side to side. His eyes follow her finger, seeing it best to just comply rather than argue. Finally, she squeezes his jaw, forcing him to open his mouth just wide enough for her to stick her muzzle in and take a few quick sniffs.

Once all of her data was gathered, she released the human from her grip. "Would ya look at that..." She said in a sarcastic tone as she crossed her arms. "He's sober; Somepony call the police, ah think we have an impostor."

"Oh, ha ha, real funny." Ryan replied, rubbing at his now sore jaw.

Applejack merely hummed at his response. "So what's the occasion, or have you simply run out for the night?"

Ryan removed his hand from his face, wearing a much more annoyed expression. "Well, I was going to apologize, but now I'm not sure if I want to."

Apple Bloom's ears fell back as she looked over at Big Mac, both knowing very well that a fight was likely going to break out. She turned her attention back to the human and her sister, deciding to interject in hopes that it would help. "Guys, maybe we could talk this through without fighting?"

Applejack either didn't hear her sister, or was ignoring her. "It hardly matters what you want, what ya did was just plain stupid! Ah mean, really! What level of idiocy does one's brain have to run on for you ta do something that dumb?"

"Oh, I wonder!" He snapped at her. "But maybe you could answer me on what level of ignorance it takes for someone to leave three fillies with someone that they know is so under-qualified to watch kids it should be illegal!"

"Guys..." Apple Bloom said quietly, losing hope that things were going to be worked out peacefully.

"Well, pardon me for having faith in somepony that I thought was my friend, that I thought would do anything to keep mah kin safe!" She snapped at him, her anger getting the better of her.

Okay...that one stung

Ryan's emotions went into overdrive; How dare she accuse him of not caring for Apple Bloom! He would never let anything happen to her. And, on top of that, she basically just said that she doesn't see him as a friend. "And excuse me for being wrong about you...having even a lick of common sense!" He shouted, primarily on the last part. "Maybe next time you can hand them off to someone you do trust, someone that clearly cares more about your family than I do. You know, the only person aside from Pinkie who actually bothers to stop by and say 'Hi' to Granny or give Big Mac the time of day." He explained, beginning to fail at keeping his own anger in check. "Maybe if you weren't as much of a hot-head as Dash, ponies would actually fucking like you and not think that you're a self-absorbed bitch!"

It became visibly noticeable how much that last statement hurt her. The beginnings of tears were starting to form in Applejack's eyes as her fists tightened. She and Ryan had never gotten into an actual argument before. Things between them would get rough here and there, but never has it come to this kind of verbal abuse. Losing control over her own body, she swings, her fist connecting with the side of the human's face.

Big Mac's eyes widened as he watched his sister hit him. He wanted to stop her, but his body simply refused to move. Apple Bloom was in no better of a situation. She just stared on in shock, gasping as she watched Applejack hit the alien she saw as a brother.

Ryan's head was forced to turn from the hit, but he held his ground, even turning back to face her. "That all you got, mud horse?" His provoking words did little to help her regain control over herself, causing her to swing again, this time with her other hand. This punch was met with similar results. He turned back, both sides of his face turning red. "Bet it feels good, doesn't it." He said with a twisted smile, "Come on, hit me again!"

Applejack gave him one final swing, this one being hard enough to knock him to the ground. Her instincts were all over the place and her rage a raging ball of fire that took her over entirely. She was about to drop to the floor to really lay in on him, but stopped when Apple Bloom ran out in front of her.

"Stop it!" The little filly shouted, pressing her hands against her sisters stomach to keep her at bay. "Stop hurting him!"

Big Mac stepped in, knowing his little sister wouldn't be strong enough to hold her back if she really wanted to go after the human. He came up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Her furious face turned toward him, fresh tears running down her face as she stared up at her older brother, who wore a look of sadness and disappointment on his face.

"Aj, please..." He begged, watching as her features softened. "That's enough."

Ryan placed his hands to the ground, pushing himself onto his knees. He coughed, causing a decent amount of blood to fly out of his mouth.

Something feels out of place...

Using his thumb and index finger, Ryan reached into the back of his mouth. There was a barely audible pop as he pulled out one of his teeth. After that was a light tapping sound it made as he dropped the tooth on to the wooden floor before pulling himself back to his feet.

He turned toward the exit and made his departure, only stopping to pat Apple Bloom on the head. "It was nice to see you again, squirt."

They all watched him with sad eyes as he walked down the hall and out of the front door. Just as he left, the sound of the back door opening up caught their attention, but barely earned much of a reaction.

"Now what's all that hootin' and hollerin' all about?" Granny asked as she walked into the house, making her way to her grandchildren. "Ah can hear y'all yellin' all the way in the barn." She paused, noticing someone missing from the group. "Now where did that darn kid go this time?"

Ryan marched back to his house, his mouth clenched shut and his hands tightened to fists. Ponies along the way would see him and part like the red sea as to avoid the furious looking human. Nopony wanted to stand in his way with how he looked.

When he finally made it back to his house, he nearly tore the door off of its hinges just getting it open. Inside the ponies that had stayed over the night before had just finished packing up all of their stuff. They looked over at him, their expression shifting from happy to worried as they looked at his bruised face and blood soaked lips.

"Ryan..." Rarity began, getting up from her bags. "What in Equestria ha-"

"Get out..." Ryan said, nodding his head and refusing to look at them.

"But, Ryan~" Pinkie pouted, "We haven't even gotten to-"

Ryan's face contorted in anger as he responded, this time much louder. "I said, get the fuck out of my house!"

Their eyes went wide, and without further arguments, they quickly gathered their belongings and ran out the door. He slammed the door shut behind them. He took a calming breath and pulled out his phone, turning on one of his playlists at random before tossing it aside.

"I entered the house on the hill one day!
Trying my best just to get away!"

Ryan went over to his fridge, pulling out the first bottle he saw. He didn't bother reading it to find out what it was before ripping the cap off and chugging down the harsh liquid.

No one was home, but the voices were clear!
They let me know I was welcome here!"

Normally just the taste of whisky would be enough to calm him down, then the alcohol would kick in and completely numb him. Sadly, that was not the case this time. The taste disgusted him and the burn in his throat was nowhere near comforting. Out of anger he threw the bottle at his window, breaking the glass structure as his beverage flew outside and shattered on the ground.

"Fuck!" He yelled to no one in particular, letting his anger get to him. He grabbed the small table in front of his couch by its legs, picking it up and slamming it against the ground. It's back legs broke from the impact. He then proceeded to throw the damaged piece of furniture across the room, breaking it further as it collided with a wall.

Ryan fell to his knees, roaring incoherently to himself as he beat his fists against the wooden floor, damaging his hands more than anything else.

"Life is so...wonderful!
Life is so...beautiful!
Stay a while!
No one gets out alive!"

Pulling himself out of his tantrum, he rolls over, leaning his back against the couch as he buried his face into his palms, his fingers digging into his scalp in the process. There were tears running down his face. He didn't know if it was because he was so angry, or because he was upset that he may have just lost the only ones here he considered family.

Does it even matter anymore?

"Life is so...wonderful!
Life is so...beautiful!
Just smile!
No one gets out alive!

Author's Note

I know Applejack is a bit OOC in this chapter; I apologize. I hope you all enjoyed it regardless though, and if you did, remember to slap that LIKE button like a bitch. Also feel free to leave a comment below, comments make me feel special :P

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