The Diary of John, the Least Interesting Stallion in Equestria.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Dear Diary,

Oh, it was most out-of-the ordinary. I was about to brush my teeth, when I noticed that my tooth-paste tube was clogged yet again. I squeezed the tube of tooth-paste again and again. Eventually, it gave with a rather loud "pop" sound. I was most frightened. Goodness me. The mess it made all over the sink was also rather distressing. I have just finished cleaning up the tooth-paste which was spilled everywhere. I do hope nothing like that ever happens again.

Anyway, I have finished breakfast, and I do think that I will take a brief stroll down to the store to purchase more tooth-paste - after having some tea, that is. I do believe some tea is in order so that I may calm myself down.

Oh dear me, it would appear that I am out of crackers to go with my tea. I simply cannot drink my tea without having crackers to go with it. I shall put that on my shopping list for today.

Well, I am back from the store. Goodness me, there was a rather large line in the place. I was dreadfully worried. It took the entirety of five minutes to get down through the check-out line.

Some mares were purchasing large amounts of hay, some stallions had new horse-shoes to buy, and I cannot even begin to mention the amount of crying, screaming young fillies which were in line with their unfortunate parents. Some of the hooligans were switching groceries around.

My goodness, I am half-afraid that I may have wound up with sweet-tea and extra-salty crackers...

...

...never mind. That is simply foolish. There is no way that I could have accidentally purchased something so reckless and distressing. I do not know what I was thinking. I was dreadfully stressed. It is very nice to have made it back.

Well, since I am now back, I shall proceed to have some crackers and tea.

Oh goodness me, I cannot do that. It is almost exactly one o' clock. I must leave and open my store. The tea and crackers will have to wait.

My goodness, it was most distressing at the store today. A customer came in wanting a specific manual and it turned out that I did not have it. I could not believe it. I told the customer I would immediately send an order for it when I returned home from work (since I do not have any writing paper at my store (that would be most reckless (as is all of these parentheses (I should definitely stop such nonsense immediately)))).

It would appear that I do not have any postage stamps. I will have to go down to the post office and purchase a new set there. My goodness, how could I forget something so vital? All of this worry will only make me more thirsty.

As soon as I get back, I should have some more tea.

Dear me. Well, that was a relief. I had enough bits to purchase some new stamps. And guess what? They had plain grey stamps on sale. It was most exciting (not too exciting, though) to have such a wonderful color of stamps. Wait, should I spell "colour" like "colour" or "color"? Oh dear. Which is it?

I cannot continue writing until I have figured this out. I shall consult the Mare-ian Webster's dictionary immediately.

Oh, I was worried for nothing. As it turns out, the spelling of that particular word is correct either way. Well, that is quite a relief.

As I was saying, gray is a most wonderful color...

...wait...

..."Grey"? Or "gray"? My goodness. Not again. Grey sounds right, but so does gray. Oh, Heaven have mercy. I am so distressed over the matter. Let me check the dictionary again.

Oh, well I am becoming such a worried stallion. As it turns out, I can spell it either way.

Well, grey is a very nice color. Yes, gray is a very nice colour (my apologies for such recklessness, but I simply could not resist the urge to attempt both spellings. I should really calm myself... ...I know. I shall have tea and crackers, as I have always wanted today).

Yes, I do believe that now I shall have the tea and crackers.

Ah. That hit the spot. Some nice tea and nice crackers to go with it.

Well, goodnight, Diary.

Sincerely,

John