The Diary of John, the Least Interesting Stallion in Equestria.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Dear Diary,

It was most dreadful. Today, after taking my shower, I discovered that I was out of Gen n' Eric's name brand shampoo. My goodness, what was I to do? I daresay that I acted rather out-of-control and wild. My apologies, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

I had no choice but to fill the shampoo bottle with water in order to get what remained of it out.

I would never dream of doing such an atrocious thing in my life, but I had to. You must understand - I simply had to if I was to finish my shower, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, fold my blankets, check my mailbox, and depart to the store to purchase more shampoo.

I was so nervously distressed that, I must confess, I almost nearly ran to the store. You heard me correctly. I almost ran. I was simply that distressed.

Upon arriving there, I had to scan up and down the aisles for what seemed to be hours, searching left and right for just the right shampoo, but I could not find Gen n' Eric's anywhere. Then, the worst thing possible happened. It was as if my life had suddenly become a living, breathing horror story.

They were out of stock.

Oh the irony. I had recently gone out of stock of a certain type of manuals yesterday, and now I was feeling the hard blows of such a conundrum.

As I returned to the shampoo aisle, I looked far and wide for the least interesting shampoo in the store, and I had narrowed it down to two equally deplorable choices:

Barry's Berry Scented Shampoo, or Flora's Flower Scented Shampoo.

I could not decide. I was at my wit's end. I had to choose quickly.

In the end, I decided that Barry's Berry Scented Shampoo (while not very un-scented) was at least intended for both stallions and mares, whereas Flora's Flower Scented Shampoo was strictly for mares only. As I crept back to the counter, placing my order, I could not bring myself to look the cashier in the face, for fear of what they would have thought of me.

I then trotted sullenly back to my home, despondent and worried. Now I shall smell like berries until the store's stock of Gen n' Eric's name brand shampoo refills.

Goodness me, I haven't stopped thinking of it all day.

Well, I suppose that this is it. Goodnight, Diary. I pray to live to see tomorrow night.

Sincerely,

John