The Diary of John, the Least Interesting Stallion in Equestria.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Dear Diary,

Today I have finally gotten around to hiring workponies to fix that awful spare room. I have just finished my normal routine, gotten home from work, and am now about to head down to the park for a nice, quiet picnic. I have my E.S. 000, some tea, some crackers, and a grey blanket. Here I go.

Well, I am at the park now. The sky is blue, the clouds are white, the grass is green, and there is a pond just on the other side of this path. I shall begin preparing my picnic. But I have to choose where to place my blanket. I could put it off by the sidewalk, but that would be too close to the pathway, I think. No, that simply won't do. It would be much too reckless and exciting for me.

Hmm...

...

...how about over there, by the pond? Oh, my goodness gracious, no. That would be most upsetting. My food and book could get wet. I shall definately not risk such an endeavour. In fact, why in Equestria am I out here at all? Having a picnic? My goodness. What was I thinking? I shall return home immediately.

Well, I am back home now, and it would appear that I have avoided a terrible disaster. Heaven knows what would have happened had I actually had a picnic at the park. My goodness. What an awful thought. What would my father think of me? I have become much to reckless for my own good, and I simply cannot afford such a horrible fate...

...Well, I do still have several hours left today. What shall I do?

I know. I don't need to do anything. Why am I worrying so much about actually doing things? Do this. Do that. It's preposterous. It is absolutely preposterous. Ponies everywhere liked me before, so why am I worried now? Why should I do anything to be different? That is ridiculous. One picnic, small as it is, would lead to another, and then another, and then another, until I am no longer what ponies like me for.

I should just sit down and read my manual. You know what? I think I will do just that. Then I will have tea and crackers, and then I shall go to bed. I shall not be doing anything reckless anytime soon, thank you very much.

Goodnight, Diary.

Sincerely,

John