“’munch’ ‘chew’ Sho... ’gulp’ So lemme get this straight.” Aria spoke, eating a corndog that Pinkie picked up for her from a gas station. “You woke my ass up at... I’m thinkin’ maybe 7 a.m., fucking blitzed the cops like a psychopath, and ran your friend over because... ’chomp’ ‘munch’ ‘Caushe your bluhy ‘oe hwihched.” It was clear that she was pretty pissed, not furious mind you but definitely pissed. “Uo ‘ow I-... ’gulp’ You know I have half a mind to punch you in the fucking throat for getting me up that early, not to mention pissing off the fucking cops.”

“Yeah, really sorry Blazie. But I promise, it’s really important if it’s my Pinkie Sense!” Pinkie pleaded. “My left toe twitched, forth one from the biggest! It means that something bad’s about to happen to a friend of mine’s friend!... I think.”

“..... Oddly specific.” Aria took another bite. “A bit too shpeshific if ya ashk me...” She continued with a mouth full of corndog. She chewed her food for a bit and gulped it down before speaking further. “So how’s that relate to me?”

“A friend’s friend!” Pinkie elaborated. “Don’t you get it!? Nonny’s in trouble! You know that he’s a magnet for trouble!” Aria really couldn’t argue that since it was kinda true... “So we gotta save him before he dies or something!”

“..... Dies...” Aria shook her head. “Fucking Schizo...” She tossed the rest of the corndog out the window and grumbled. “Well at least you were kind enough to get me some food, I guess...” She gave Pinkie a stern look. “But you still owe me, big time.”

Pinkie giggled. “Don’t worry grumpy pants, I’ll make it up to you later.” She assured.

“You better, Pinkie.” She warned. “Fucking... grumbling...”

“... You want some road-head?” Pinkie asked.

Aria’s brain stopped working for a few seconds. “W-Wait, what?”

“What?” Pinkie wore a confused look on her face. “Sorry, you say something?”

“I...” Aria must’ve been hearing things? “N-no, I didn’t.” Yeah, that had to be it. Pinkie probably wasn’t the kind of person to do that...

.....

Aria took a quick glance at Pinkie, she was staring at the road as any driver would... She glanced away, feeling a bit uncomfortable. “(I swear, this bitch’s got some loose screws or something...)”

“Oh! Twitchy-twitch! Twitchy-twitch!” Pinkie slammed the breaks, Aria comically face-planted the dash-board. The Pinkie-Pie branded air-bag triggered and a spring-loaded pie slapped her in the fucking face. “C’mon, we’re here!”

”Pinkie...” Aria repressed her anger, wiping her face and getting out of the car. “One of these days... Hmm...” She took a little lick of the cream. “Bubblegum?”

“Aria, stop eating my pie and come out here!”

Aria rolled her eyes and mumbled to herself. “Never thought I’d hear a chick say that before...” She flicked the cream off her arm and threw the door shut, taking a moment to look over her surroundings... Eeyup, empty road as far as the eye could see. “Pinkie it’s the middle of fucking nowhere.” She could see Pinkie glancing over the road railing, one section was... Completely torn off? “Oh... Well that’s unusual.” Aria walked over, gazing over the railing. “Christ, the fuck happened here?” Down within the unpaved grass was the ruins of a car, or what was left of it at least..... Hold on... “Oh fuck, that’s Anon’s car!” Aria jumped the rail and ran down to the wreckage. “HANG IN THERE DUDE, MAMA’S COMING!” Pinkie followed behind, worry plastered on her face. Aria frantically investigated the wreckage, moving aside hunks of car parts in an effort to locate her friend. “Anon!... Anon!?.....” She called out, receiving not even a single sound resembling him. “Oh god, I can’t find him anywhere!”

Pinkie pondered to herself, holding her chin as she looked over the wreckage. “But... I don’t get it.” She wondered. “My Pinkie Sense has never been late before...”

“He’s not in the car!” Aria called out. “He... He isn’t anywhere!” Aria was in full panic mode now. “Oh god, he can’t be dead! He can’t be!” Aria held her face, tears threatening to flow. “He’s... He’s the one person that’s ever...”

“Hey, hey! Aria!” Pinkie, being broken out of her trance by the waves of sorrow, quickly took to Aria’s side to relieve her of those sad feelings. “Shhh, it’s gonna be okay! Really!”

“He’s dead, Pinkie! My bestest friend in the entire world is dead!” Aria yelled, trails of make-up running down her cheeks. “No more bail-outs... N-no more beating each other with wrestler toys and pretending to be the wrestlers.” Pinkie couldn’t stand the sight. She hated seeing people being so sad like this, especially from her friends... “T-the only person who’s ever cared about me... G-gone...”

“But Aria-”

“I can’t survive without his cooking, Pinkie!” She ranted on, interrupting and ignoring her. “I’m gonna starve without his food, I can’t go back to gas-station nachos after nearly three years of home cooked meals!”

“Aria, please-!”

“I can’t even keep a job in this Celestia-forsaken town after the incident a few years ago! I’m the most well-known fucking face in the county jail!” Complete hysteria now, quite a pitiful display I may add. “If he’s gone I’m gonna have to... Oh Celestia, I don’t wanna go back to sucking dick for food! It’s just not the same as doing it because I want to!”

With a frustrated huff, Pinkie grabbed Aria’s shoulders and-

’Slap! Slap!’

She locked eyes with her, face as stern as stone. “Get. A. Grip.” Pinkie punctuated her words for emphasis. “You’re not gonna starve, and you’re not gonna live out in the streets spit-shining weenies for cash.” She assured, no, out-right told her that it wouldn’t come to that. “Anon isn’t dead, Blazey... I know I can be a little screw-loose sometimes, but you just have to trust me. My Pinkie Sense has never lied to me before and it’s never been late either!”

Aria’s sad orphan face was still present, but she wiped the tears away and hardened herself. “Okay... I trust you, as crazy as that sounds.” A few deep breaths and Aria was okay. She was a big girl, and big girls didn’t throw tantrums like that... “S-so now what?”

Pinkie pointed at the wreckage. Somehow, from bloody who knows where, swave detective music started to play. “There isn’t any blood or body parts, or a body for that matter.” Pinkie, suddenly dawning a detective cap and toy-pipe, peeked into the car frame. “Windshield is shattered, but no Anon-sized hole through the glass. The seats aren’t crushed, either...” She crawled back out, standing up. Aria looked absolutely lost. “Mmhm, just as I thought. He didn’t fly out the window and he wasn’t crushed... But since he isn’t here...”

“..... He must’ve went for help?” Aria finished. “But which way did he go?” Aria saw Pinkie dialing a number, she swiped it from her. “Are you nuts, Sherlock!?”

“Hey! I was gonna call the... Uh...” The music paused, it just dawned on her that they’re wanted criminals... “Ehehe! Woopsie-Daisy!”

Aria shook her head, resume music with Aria stealing her hat and pipe. “Yeah, last thing we need is more cops...” Aria gave the phone back, taking a few moments to think while blowing bubbles out of the bright-green plastic pipe. “Now, how do we find him...” She looked at the ground, still soft and muddy from last night’s storm... “I got it!”

Pinkie cocked her head. “Got what?” She asked, somehow losing all her detective knowledge.

Aria investigated the area surrounding the car. “Hmm..... Ah, bingo!” Pinkie caught up, finding Aria with a trail of footprints... Though, there was two pairs of prints oddly enough. “With that shitstorm from last night the ground’s a fucking swamp of mud. We follow the tracks and it’ll lead us right to him!”

Pinkie’s eyes brightened. “Oh wow! You’re so clever!” Pinkie complimented. “You’ve definitely earned that road-head!”

Aria held her nose high, proud as a bloody peacock. “Well, I don’t mean to brag, bu-“ Suave music scratches to a halt. “Wait, what?”

Pinkie just smiled. “I said you were clever, silly!” She repeated. “You got cotton-candy in your ears?”

Aria just looked at her weird. “Uh... Right.” She walked back to the car with Pinkie following behind. “Well, we know the general direction he went so it should be easy to find him. Probably still on the road since there isn’t a town for a good ten-miles that way.”

“Righto!” Pinkie cheered. “Let’s go find him, dear Watson!” Pinkie went ahead and got in the passenger seat. “C’mon! He might be slowly dying and/or in excruciating pain!”

“Pinkie, I don’t-! Why the fuck...” She suddenly noticed how ridiculous she must’ve looked smoking a child’s version of a pipe and threw it over her shoulder. The hat was pretty cool though, so she kept it on. “As I was saying, I don’t have a license.” Aria bluntly informed. “Like, I’m legally not allowed to drive.”

“Come on, there aren’t any cops!” Pinkie invited. “Besides, we’re already wanted for wanton destruction, evading law-enforcement, disturbing the peace, attempted vehicular-manslaughter, and who knows how many charges of reckless driving! Getting pulled-over is kinda light compared to the stuff we’ve done today!”

Aria just rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever...” Again, she couldn’t really argue with Pinkie due to making obsurd but reasonable points. Luckily Aria did know how to drive, though legally she wasn’t allowed to drive for various criminal incidents. Plus, as she said before, her reputation is still kinda... Well, in some cities she’s labeled as a terrorist. “Alright; stick-shift, blinker...”

’ziiip!’

“Huh?” Pinkie was unzipping her pants. “The fuck are you do- ’Gasp!?’” ...Eeyup, that was definitely a finger in her pants, and an energetic one too. “Aahn! P-Pinkie, wai-Oh fuck, right there~!”

Pinkie gazed at Aria, a playful look in her eyes. “I said I’d make it up to you, didn’t I?”

....... Complete honesty here, Aria was a bit reluctant on getting hand from Schizo. Don’t get her wrong, she wasn’t reluctant on getting fingered or anything, it’s just... Well, it was Pinkie doing it, which kinda made it weird for some reason... But then again, free finger-bang, and she was definitely feeling overdue for a good orgasm now that the juices are starting to flow... “Alright, fuck it.” Aria pulled her pants to her ankles, moving her panties aside for her pink friend. The purple lips were already dripping and blushed from the arousal. “Just don’t go crazy while I’m turning, okay?”

Pinkie licked her lips and stuck a finger in to test the waters. Aria unconsciously squeezed the digit and whimpered. “Oooh, your pie’s nice and hot!”

Fucking food puns... “J-... Just... Mmm, fuck...” Yeah, she was loooong overdue. “Yeah, right there...” Aria pressed on the gas, trying to focus on the road while getting serviced. Somewhat difficult to pull-off when she had a finger moving around in her hot-box, but this wasn’t her first time playing behind the wheel and probably wouldn’t be the last if the look on her face said anything. “Mhmhmhmm~! R-Remind me to... A-Ahh!” First lick down below, Aria bit her tongue to keep from moaning. “P-Pinkieee~... If I weren’t drivING!...” Aria made a mental note to pay her back for this. “Yeah, k... Keep licking... Yesss~...” Aria’s left hand rested on her friend’s ass, squeezing and groping it in time with her licking. “Yeah, don’t stop... P-...Please!~”

”Mmm~“ Pinkie hummed, licking her lips rather loudly with a wet slurp. “Juicy!” The borderline exaduration (it’s hard to tell with Pinkie) was really killing Aria here. “Who would’ve thought a grumpy sour-pus would have such a sweet little treat between her knees!”

Aria just... Ugh, she fucking hated Pinkie sometimes. “P-Pinkie, just... Shut-up.” She whimpered, growing aggravated with her childish mind.

Pinkie looked up, seeing her blush and force a frown... God, she was so adorable (Don’t tell her I said that). Pinkie couldn’t help a little giggle escape her lips. “You’re so cute, Ari-MMPH!”

Aria shoved her head into her crotch. “Just shut-up and fucking eat me!” She ordered once more, anger clear as day in her voice. “Fucking... I’m not cute...” Pinkie just kept staring up at her, she couldn’t see it but she fucking knew that pink menace was grinning at her... And Aria couldn’t fucking stand it. “I’m not cute!”

“Yes you aaaare~!” Pinkie argued in a sing-song tone. “In fact, I think you’re super cute!”

”Shut-up!” Aria yelled. “God fucking-... Is your fucking toe wiggling yet? I wanna go save my fucking friend and go back to sleep.”

“Nnnope!” Pinkie answered. “Also, you’re face is really red.”

A vein could be seen on Aria’s temple. ”Pinkie Pie, I will drive us off of a bloody cliff so help me god.” Aria warned, gritting her teeth. ”Start licking, stop talking, and you won’t fucking d-iiiieeee~” Pinkie sucked on the hard little nub between Aria’s legs, making her moan in a feminine tone that you’d expect from Anon (get shit on you green bitch). “P-Pinkie!... Gonna f-fucking kill youuu for that!” The pink fiend gave the purple clit a brutal tongue-bath. Aria trembled and whimpered, her legs locking-up and shaking. “P-... Pinkie~!” Aria was about to shoot her goo on Pinkie’s face, or maybe in her mouth if she was into that kind of kink... Either way though, the goo’s gonna shoot, and it’ll feel really fucking good when it does. “Gonna... Gh!”

Pinkie stopped sucking, choosing instead to roughly finger Aria and rub the engorged bulb with her thumb. ”Gimme some love, baby.” Pinkie said in a surprisingly sexy tone, her assault on Aria’s cunt never letting up. ”I’ll drink it aaall up for you.” God, that voice was so sexy... And her damn fingers!

“Fff-... fuuuck!” Aria spread her legs out wider and slouched a bit, bracing herself for the oncoming relief. “Ohhh, Pinkie! Don’t stop!”

“Oooh, you’re dripping all the way down to your tushie!” Tushie?... Why’d she say ‘tushie’ of all things? Wait, the hell was Aria so concerned abo-Ohhhh sweet bloody hell in a hand basket! “There we go, now it’s nice and-... Hm?” Aria visibly shook and gritted her teeth, while she was distracted by Pinkie’s weird choice of words the pink little devil licked her asshole of juices. The reaction showed to be quite effective. “Whoa... Is your pooper really that sensitive?” Pinkie received her answer in the form of Aria’s hole contracting wildly around her finger. “... Did you just cum?”

Aria was using every ounce of willpower not to close her eyes and scream. “I-!... Ohooohhh god!” The finger in her cunt was pulled out and shoved into her asshole instead, said cunt writhed and twitched in delight. “P-pink... It’s...” Pinkie wasn’t paying any attention, being more interested in playing with Aria’s ass rather than paying attention to the throbbing pussy in front of her. “Cum!... Cum!...” She suddenly thrusted upward.

’squirt! squirt!’

”FUCK!” Aria shot out her warm love just as Pinkie had requested, splashing the pink cheek with a few short, weak streams of ejaculate. Pinkie gasped at the sudden warmth dripping down her cheek, then locked lips with the hole and started licking up the spurts of cum. “Gah! P-Pinkieee!~” Her walls squeezed and sucked from the powerful tongue-finger combo, releasing more goo for Pinkie to lap up. “F-... Fuck! Ah!” Pinkie moved her fingers inside of the twitching hole, Aria nearly lost control of the car. “D-don’t!... Stop!...” Her pussy was lovingly milking the invading tongue. Her little clit hopping in time with the squeezing was a tantalizing sight...

With Aria’s streams of love devolving into dribbles, Pinkie’s tongue drifted north to the throbbing bud just above her nose. She gently licked it, making Aria gasp and thrust a little. “Teehee! You’re so adorable, Aria!” She couldn’t help herself, after watching Aria’s pussy try to milk her tongue and that adorable little clit she just had to tease her more! “I could just lick your cute little kitty until it shines, ya know?” Aria’s legs wouldn’t stop shaking, Pinkie licked and licked to her heart’s content while Aria moaned and lightly humped into her. “You’re such a cute little thing, you enjoying this as much as I am?...”

“I’m...” Aria’s asshole was beginning to twitch again, Pinkie could feel it coil around her fingers like a vice. “I-I’m!...” Pinkie latched onto the clit and bit down, curling her finger deep in the sensitive anus.

’Tires Screeching!’

Aria slammed the gas, surprising Pinkie with the sudden shift of force. ”DON’T FUCKING CALL ME CUTE, GODDAMMIIIIT!!!” Pinkie was splashed by more juices, Aria was cumming very hard and... Tugging Pinkie’s hair very hard as well.

.....

You know, between the sudden burst of anger and the car moving at dangerously fast speeds, a thought had occurred to Pinkie... She wondered briefly, just briefly, if she’d maaaybe taken the ‘cute’ thing a smudge too far.

“Um, Aria-”

”RRAAAAAHH!!!”

..... Yeeeeah, maybe Pinkie pushed it a bit.

Previously, on Anon’s downward spiral into insanity...

"K-Kiss me!" Maud suddenly blurted out, face flushed in a light blush.

Anon... Was not expecting that. "Y-you..." Had he heard that right? She wanted to kiss him!? No, that couldn't be the case. There must've been something wrong here... "You... Want me t-" Maud suddenly jumped up, wrapping her arms around his neck in a hanging embrace. "Maud!?" Her eyes were so spaced and glossy, they'd probably have hearts in the pupils had the laws of cartoon physics applied in the real world! "W-wait just a minute!" He tried backing away, but completely forgot that he was sitting down and instead fell backwards, taking his assailant with him. Anon lied on his back, Maud looming over him with-oh god her blanket fell!

"Anon~..." Maud stared down at her friend, her heart beating loudly against her ear drums in the rhythmic beat of infatuation. "I feel so... S-so..." She lowered herself ever closer, her hot breath gracing his green nose. "I..."

"Th-think about this, Maud!" Anon tried, hoping to somehow snap her out of whatever... this was. "I'm not the most attractive guy in the world, a-and I'm not even sure of how old you are compared to me!" He tried, and believe me he tried his damn hardest not to look at the exposed breasts just inches away from his chest. But with each passing second Maud only came closer...

As did the breasts.

"I've never felt like this..." She monologued, lost in her own passion. "You're so nice... A-and I..." The longing stare slowly started to fade... "I..." She halted, just inches away from his lips. "Oh... Oh my god." She then gasped, sitting up and covering herself. "Oh my god I'm so, so sorry!" She was very red in the face, especially when she felt something poke her thigh as she sat up. "Ah! O-oh my, is that your...” Yes it was, and feeling it made her heart thump even harder. “Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed! I can’t apologize enough for this!" She quickly backed away, hoping that she didn’t completely destroy their close friendship because of her stupid-

“Hey, hey!” Anon sat up, his face was still quite blushed as well. “Maud, you’re okay! I’m not mad about-“ Anon’s expression went from supportive mother-figure to ‘Oh shit’ reeeal fucking quick... But why? ”HIT THE DECK!” He out-right tackled her, making her gasp in sur-

’SMASH!!!’

The world had slowed to a crawl. Maud was staring up at the ceiling, what looked like a car slowly flew overhead at a dangerously close distance. Anon was holding her close in his protective embrace... He...

He saved her...

Maud had never wanted him as badly as she did now, in this moment in time. His body-heat was so soothing, and his touch sparked a fire in her... Yes, she could see it now. The sparks flying behind Anon, the passion-!

’CRASH!!!’

.....

Maud couldn’t hear anything, the world was completely deaf to her right now. The only thing emanating was the ringing in her ear and the painful throbbing in the back of her head. She opened her eyes and saw Anon over her, he looked worried as he yelled in hysteria... Or at least, she assumed that’s what he was doing... What the hell happened?

”......... aud..... Ma.....” Oh, seems that her hearing was slowly returning. ”Maud!... Maud!... okay!?” Anon yelled, waving a hand in front of her to probably test if she was still alive... “Maud!? Are you alright!?... Can you hear!?”

“Y-yeah... Kinda.” Various overworked muscles and healing wounds screamed in pain, but she didn’t really notice as much as she should have. When you’ve had a heavily-infected wound forced open to drain, you can live with a bit of body trauma. “What... What happened?”

He shook his head to get the dizziness out, seems that he was still a bit shell-shocked as well. “I-I dunno why, but some lunatic ran their bloody car into the building!” He informed hysterically. “Are you hurt? Is anything bleeding or broken?”

His worried gaze made her heart flutter, she couldn’t stop the smile forming even if she wanted to. “Y-yeah... I’m okay, Anon.” She was lying through her bloody teeth. She was actually in immense pain right now but she didn’t want Anon to worry. “What about you?”

He grunted a bit as he sat back up, but smiled to reassure her. “I’ll live... Trust me.” He helped her up off her back, they couldn’t walk just yet due to the condition of their legs so baby-steps were a good start. “So what kind of asshole smashed their car into a bloody gas station?” Maud graduated baby-steps and got up, gritting the pain that she was burdened with, and forcibly opened the sorry excuse for a car door. Two people came tumbling out, two very familiar people... “Oh my fucking god.” One was a purple girl with twin-tails, the other was a pink girl with dark-pink curls who was being strangled by the purple one in a fit of rage... Yeah, doesn’t take a genius to put two-and-two together. Anon knew exactly who they were. “You purple fucking cunt!” Anon yelled, catching the attention of the purple girl. “I can’t have one day without you trying to fucking kill me!”

The strangler let go of the pink girl, her face brightening with the joy of a lost child finding their parents at Walmart. “Roomie!” She ran and took him to the floor with a good tackle. “Holy fuck buddy, you had me so worried!” Yes indeed, twas’ Aria Blaze in the flesh...

With no pants.

Anon, noticing this quite quickly, shoved her away in disgust. “Where the hell are your pants you fucking bimbo!?”

“Who cares!?” She pounced again and wrapped him in a big hug, feeling no resentment for the slur. “Now you can feed me again and bail me out of jail and scold me and shit!”

“Oh my god why are you so fucking sticky!?” Anon asked in panic, trying to push her away. “Bloody Christ you smell like a fucking Fish-Monger! Get off of me!” Anon tried and tried but her hold stood firm. “Dammit Aria, let me go! I don’t know where the hell you’ve been you fucking skank!”

Anon’s harsh words were like a mother’s lullaby to her, soothing her troubles rather than driving her away. "Sigh... I missed you so much, dude."

“Anon?” Maud caught both of their attention, covering her chest... Her expression was utterly blank, borderline ice-cold even. “Who is this?... Also, why does she not have any pants?” She asked in her returning stoicism.

Anon sighed and just decided let Aria hang, despite the obvious signs of her slutty escapades. “Maud, this is my roommate-slash-skank, Aria Blaze.” He introduced, his beloved roommate either ignoring his insult or accepting it as fact. “Aria, this is Maud, the girl that-“

“Sis!?” A pink blur blitzed the stoic girl. “Oh my good golly goodness, I had no idea you were out here!”

“Pinkie?” Seems that the deadpan was here to stay. “I’m quite surprised to see you out here as well.”

“Wow, you sound so frazzled!” Pinkie noticed, somehow seeing through the stoicism. “Also you’re... Shirtless.”

Utterly serene, Maud just looked downward a bit. “I have a good explanation for that, sis.” She informed her energetic other-half. “In fact, you’re laying on top of it...”

Looking down, Pinkie now noticed the bandaged wound and gasped loudly. “Oh no, you’re hurt!” Pinkie pulled out her phone. “I gotta call the-“ She hesitated. “No, we... But Maud!... Grrr!” In a fit of confusion she threw it out the window. “Darn it to heck!” She yelled out.

Anon’s jaw dropped. “W-Why would you do that!?” He demanded to know. “We could’ve called an ambulance! We needed to call an ambulance!”

Aria hissed with a sharp intake of breath, guilt was spread all over her face. “Yeah... Um, about that...”

...

Why was Anon not surprised?...

“Alright, what did you fucking do.” He asked, similarly to a parental figure when confronting their whore child.

“Hey don’t look at me, it was the psycho’s fucking idea to get the cops after us!” Aria accused, pointing at Pinkie.

“And I take full responsibility on that claim!"

.....

Well, color Anon shocked for once. But either way, he shook his head in disappointment. “I fucking swear...” He mumbled, getting to his-... Wait, fuck. “Ow, dammit!” His leg received a sudden jolt of pain upon trying to use it. “Motherfucker!”

“Anon!” Maud pushed her sister aside and practically ran Aria down trying to get to him. “Are you okay? Where’s it hurt?” She frantically looked over his leg like his own mother would, the dry tone all but vanishing. “Oh no, I think your ankle’s sprained!”

“Ow, bitch!” Aria groaned, sitting back up. “You didn’t have to run me down, fucking cunt!”

There was a still silence between the two for a good five seconds... Then Maud turned her head, giving her a look that could freeze blood near-instantly. “How hypocritical.” The notch on her dry tone has reached absolute-zero on the temperature scale, and everybody in the room could feel it. “Have you forgotten that you and my sister are the two that nearly ran us down?”

“Uh... I...“ Aria was shot down faster than a North Korean test missile. “K-kinda?... I mean-“

“So, if you ask me, the last thing you of all people should be complaining about is ‘me running you down’. Now if you’ll excuse me I must help my dear friend with his ankle.” Maud hoisted him up in a fireman’s carry, he grunted in surprise from being lifted so easily... Kinda made him feel small. “I suggest you find your pants and see if the car can still run, and before you say anything crude about where my shirt is it’s stained in my own bloody bodily-fluids.” Maud took Anon to the back of the store, displaying her impressive strength as an example of her dominance...

“Christ, what’s up with her?” Aria asked, to which Pinkie shrugged. “God... I mean, no offense Pinkie but she’s just... Wow.”

“Yeah... That was kinda uncalled-for.” Even Pinkie couldn’t defend her sister after that kind of behavior. “But she kinda has a point.” Of course that wouldn’t stop her from trying, right? “We did almost turn them into asphalt flap-jacks with a stolen car.”

“Yeah, bu-wait, what?” Aria asked. “That wasn’t your car?”

Pinkie answers with a cheerful. “Nnope!”

“... Well who’s is it?”

Pinkie just shrugged. “I car-jacked some guy I didn’t know, so your guess is as good as mine.”

Aria just... She just doesn’t know this chick anymore. “Okay than, let’s pretend I never asked.” Pinkie nodded, carefree as usual. Probably a safe move to just stop asking questions before she learns something she shouldn’t. “So where were we... Oh right, Maud.” Aria cleared her throat. “Going back to your sister being a bitch, I think it has another reason behind it aside from us almost turning them into paste.”

Pinkie tilted her head. “What makes you say that?”

Aria pondered that. “Hmm... Call it a Siren’s intuition.” She answered in an uncharacteristic seriousness. “Emotions play like keys on a piano to a Siren, and they all ring in a distinct tone of their own...” She monologued. “If you ask me, the song your sister’s playing sounds more poisonous than angry.”

Pinkie still looked confused. “Poisonous?”

Aria nodded. “Your sister’s tone is mute but her words give her away. She’s spiteful of me...”

Pinkie looked even more confused. “But why would she have a bone to pick with you?”

“That’s what I’m wondering...” Aria stood still as stone, pondering to herself... But it didn’t take long for her to lose interest entirely. “Well, whatever it is, it’s not really my problem.” With a quick turn Aria walked passed Pinkie, grabbing her by the back of her shirt and literally dragging her along by her heels. “Let’s go, Pinks.”

“Oh, uh... Where are we going?”

Aria just shrugged. “Probably someplace not dead and depressing so I can properly return the favor... If you’re picking-up what I’m laying down?” Pinkie seemed to blush at this, feeling a familiar tingle between her legs. “Yeah, no good deed goes unpunished, amigo... I think I’m gonna enjoy seeing you squirm.” Aria chuckled to herself, which somewhat unnerved the captured prey in her grasp...

In a good way, that is. “Even after all my hard work?” Her sorrows were about a believable as a porn pop-up ads. “You’re a meanie, Aria!” The supposed meanie kicked down a loose chunk of wall, opening up the bright outside world. “W-where are you gonna punish me?” The purple meanie stayed silent, guiding Pinkie outside. “You gonna take me outside and-“

“Shuddup already.” Aria pushed her to the ground. “That big mouth of yours has caused enough trouble as it is.” Aria knelt down and jerked Pinkie’s skirt to her feet, then spread her legs apart. The pink panties were drenched, unsurprisingly. “Hmm...” Aria gave the little camel-toe a test touch, dragging her finger along the wet fabric much to Pinkie’s shuddering joy. The covered lips moved lightly, and the area between them started to darken. Yeah, the little slut was just oozing with arousal. “Fuck, you're just a horny little faucet, huh?” She pushed the fabric aside to get a good look, her puffy pink lips were twitching lightly, trying to lure Aria to stimulate them and the tight little hole in between. “Mmm, so much girl-goo...” She was dripping down to her asshole, which twitched in-time with her pussy. “You want me to touch you?” Pinkie nodded, biting her lip and shivering silently. Aria’s smile grew. “Where?...” Pinkie whimpered, looking away. “Go on, tell me...”

Pinkie remained silent, her hands slowly going to her crotch and spreading open her lips. A lewd, sticky sound was heard as they were spread open. “H-... Here...” The little hole drooled with arousal, Pinkie’s blush was pepper-red. “Please...”

Aria took the soaked fabric off and, after a moment of consideration, brought the damp crotch-section to her mouth... There was no licking or sucking of the soiled panties, just a silent Aria gazing down at a horny Pinkie waiting for those sexy sounds. "... You know, it'd be such a waste to spoil my appetite." Her hand bolted forward, striking Pinkie's mouth while her jaw was left hanging. She gagged in surprise, tasting her own juices as the panties were stuffed into her mouth. “Try not to cum too soon, slut. I wanna savor this hot little slice of pie as much as I can.”

Pinkie’s only form of answer was the shuddering moan she let out feeling Aria start to rub her slit. The Pink Party Pon-I mean Human has been quite the little slut, hasn’t she? Almost kinda off-character... Well, Pinkie’s been rather frisky since the chase with the cops. No idea why though. Perhaps she was a closet adrenaline junkie? Or maybe she had an undiscovered fetish for badly-executed, self-aware sexual plot devices?

.....

Nahhh, it was probs Aria’s fault for being a shirtless, Mexican-stereotyped lunatic. Stupid sexy Siren/Mexican-stereotype loon, being all hot and injuring hundreds in her persona’s hunger for wanton destruction and mayhem...

So yeah, Pinkie being a slut. Why don’t we go back to that instead of watch me berate myself for not being ~~as good as FlutterPriest~~ a good writer?... Yeah, I think we should. Let's go back to fapping to fictional humans.

Aria has a saying regarding pie, Chicken Pot Pie to be specific. When you get the pie nice and hot, the best way to serve it is to set it in a bowl and mix it aaall up, crust and the works. Needless to say, this is indeed the best way to enjoy Chicken Pot Pie, and if you think otherwise I will find you and firmly slap you in the testicles (or the boobs for you degenerate ladies out there). 'But Mudkip!' you may start in confusion. 'Why are you talking about Chicken Pot Pie during smexy times?' Well the answer to that is simple, Aria's going to enjoy some pie! Sure it may be an innuendo for pie but the process is all the same, minus the fork of course.

Pinkie was very much enjoying having her pie properly prepared, as any girl would. It started off with teasing strokes up and down the slit, which evolved into giving her clit some needed attention to really get her worked-up. Her love-button was still being gently rubbed and stroked, her muffled moans begging Aria to keep going. "Tch, little slut." Aria grabbed one of her tits and began to squeeze it through the shirt. “You love this, don't you?" Pinkie choked out an affirmation, swallowing some juices from the panties in her mouth. The taste made her sooo fucking horny, she'd completely forgotten that they were from her own pink walls. "Yeah ya do, horny bitch." Aria's hand forced her shirt up, showing off her bra and the pink breasts they covered. The bra was unneeded and promptly pulled down, Pinkie squeaked out in surprise and bit down on her shirt collar. “So big...” Aria abandoned the pussy and gave both a good squeeze. “Nice and soft, too... I bet it’d feel really nice if a guy shoved their dick in there.” Pinkie shook her head, she was just a thread's width away from busting and she couldn't take it anymore! "So you're about to cum, huh?" Pinkie nodded vigorously. "Well than... That's too bad." Aria took hold of her wrists, locking them together above her head. "I never even got to taste it..." Pinkie's orgasm was slowly approaching, yet no stimulus was being given to her aching pussy. "What's wrong, bitch? Aren’t you gonna cum?" Pinkie tried moving her hands but she was too weak, her orgasm was dying down fast and... Aria fucking knew it, too. That smug fucking look said she knew.

"(That sexy freaking tease!)" Pinkie screamed in her head. “(Whyyy!? I wanna cum sooo bad!)” Pinkie gasped out as Aria suddenly locked lips with her, groping her breast and ass-cheek as she did. After a few seconds Aria withdrew, dragging the saliva-coated panties out with her and throwing them aside. “’cough! cough!’ Please!” Pinkie begged. “I-I wanna cum... I can’t take it.”

Aria stares down for what felt like forever, then she smiled. "You wanna cum? Pinkie nodded. “You want me to touch you?” She nodded again, Aria leaning down. “You want me to..." Aria licked her neck, Pinkie shuddered at the warmth of her tongue... Sweet Baby Jesus she’s never wanted somebody so badly before! “lick your pretty little pie?”

Pinkie was close to crying at this point, all this teasing was just so agonizing! “P-please...” She whimpered out. “It’s so hot... I wanna cum so bad.”

“You do?” Aria let go of her hands and shuffled back, laying on her belly with her face in front of Pinkie’s agitated cunt. “I guess you’ve had enough for one session.” Aria spread those puffy lips open and gave her a good, long lick. Pinkie let out a shuddering moan, squeezing her tits and raising her ass up a bit. “You like that?”

“More!” Pinkie begged, lost in bliss. “Please, give me more!”

“You want more?” Aria locked lips with her lower lips and started cleaning her walls of juices. Her pink friend (with benefits) was making all kinds of noises, her hands wandering mindlessly for something to grab as the long-awaited orgasm was being licked out of her.

“Ariaaa!” The assailant retracted her tongue and started sucking her clit, Pinkie’s eyes shot-out. “O-o-ohhh yes!” She wasn't a squirter like Aria was, sadly. But her orgasm was still fairly wet with her hole convulsing as wildly as it did, not to mention sexy as all bloody hell. Aria stuck her tongue in the hole again and continued licking, driving Pinkie's hips and the octaves of her squeals higher and higher into the air with the continued stimulation. “Mmmph! Yes! Yes!” She enjoyed the taste very much, along with the moans and the cute little tugs as Pinkie's pie squeezed down onto the wriggling tongue in delight. After half a minute of this onslaught Pinkie's legs gave-out, her plump cheeks hitting the dirt with shutters. Her face was that of a stoner's, she was so fucking out of her noggin right now you'd think she just hit the hottest fucking joint ever created...

Aria smiled, licking the stray juices off her lips. "Now..." She sat up and rested her back on the old building wall, holding her head back in her hands. "I think we're even." Pinkie didn't respond, closer inspection revealed she'd fallen asleep in the high of her orgasm. "Hmm... Maybe I overdid it." Shrugging, she settled for looking up at the blue skies... Sex was a good way for her to clear her head, empty the mind and all that. Kinda like how alcoholics combat bad life choices by drinking the day away... Yet, despite taking Pinkie down orgasm-avenue she still couldn't get Maud out of her head. "Hmm... What would she even be jealous of?" She asked the sky. "I mean, I'm not exactly the most decent human being on the planet... Certainly not anyone to get jealous over.” She sighed, visibly stumped. “Whatever, I guess...”

.......

Aria’s ear twitched, she looked to the side.

”...oh...... An.....”

“Hm?” Curious, she pressed her ear to the cold wall... Then realized this did nothing to help her since stone was hard to hear through. She instead redressed Pinkie (yes, even the saliva-covered undies) and decided to sneak back into the building. Using her ears, she located a decent snooping post behind a weathered wall with enough cracks to allow noise to go through... A pang if guilt rant through her, though. “(Man, I really shouldn’t be doing this kind of thing...)” Her eyes shifted to the side. “(Then again I’ve done worse in the past... No Blaze, that’s the old you!)” She shook her head, getting up to leave in disgust with her-

”You want me to what!?”

“(Anon...)” Aria stopped, crouched back down to the cracks, and listened into the conversation with a sly little grin. “(Sounds like that faggot’s about to get his dick wet.)” She suppressed a chuckle, though her smile was on full display. “(Yeah, some voyuerism sounds pretty hot about now, especially with Schitzo out of commission.)” Her pants were already undone, hand teasing the purple flesh inside. “(I bet that faggot’s moans are about as gay as-)”

“I said you should kick that so-called ‘roommate’ of yours to the curb!”

...

...

...

(To Be Continued)

Author's Note

Eeyup, cucked again amigos, but I promise this’ll be the last cuckold from this little ‘Maud Saga’ thing.

Next chapter will come-out sometime after Spring Break at an undecided, unplanned, and completely unknown time and date. If you expect me to work on this during Spring Break, prepare to be disappointed...

Maybe...

I dunno, I may write a bit.

Stay crazy, my lovelies!