When they got back, the sun had already set, the moon halfway up in the sky. Twilight was still reading when she heard the door open. She turned her head to see who it was. When they continued on without saying anything, she reluctantly averted her gaze back to the book in front of her. James headed for the kitchen, but Conscience stayed in the living room.

James went around the kitchen to find the fixings for a sandwich. Some bread... bread and... f*ck it, he'd just stick with some bread. He pulled out a slice for him and his conscience, and pulled out a napkin before placing the bread on it. He then went to the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of much-needed milk. Taking a glass and filling it almost to the top, he put everything back in its proper place before taking the bread and milk.

When he reentered the living room, he saw Conscience sitting at the near-top of the ladder like he was earlier. Upon seeing James, he waved him over. James walked over, and Conscience jumped down from his spot. James handed him a slice of bread. As an afterthought, he handed over the second slice. Conscience took a bite out of the bread.

After swallowing, he spoke up. "You seen Spike?" he asked barely above a whisper.

James took a sip of milk, before answering. "No. Not since earlier...," he looked at Twilight out of the corner of his eye. His eyes were starting to turn red as he played over the bad part of the day's events.

"You don't think he's still...?" Conscience trailed off. They silently exchanged a glance. "He's probably upstairs, right?"

"Most likely," James said before tossing back the glass and downing the booze all at once. He went to the kitchen and put the glass in the sink. Going back into the living room, he pulled out the envelope. "We should've read this earlier. I don't know why we didn't..."

"You wanted to get something to eat," Conscience deadpanned. "And all you got was a slice of bread and some milk."

James flushed red with a sheepish frown. "I can wait." He opened up the letter and read out loud (...well, loud enough for only Conscience to hear).

"I tell you, I've had a very long day. And I'm cranky. As a Grizzly Bear. Just saying..."

"...What the f*** does that mean?" Conscience hissed in utter confusion? James shrugged helplessly, but his eyes widened slightly when an involuntary shudder hit him.

"Conscience...? I just got that chill."

"Wait. You mean the one that means something bad is gonna happen?" James nodded slowly. "Then that means this must be the notification, then. But...," he trailed off as he gestured at the brief note. "Why don't we ask Twilight?" he Signature Shrugged. James only deadpanned at him.

James's flat look disappeared when he heard music playing. He knew he had heard this song before

"Conscience, are you hearing that?"

Conscience had a similar look of mild confusion on his face as he nodded. They looked at Twilight, who was still reading as if nothing was going on, and back at each other.

James's eyes lit up. He looked at the letter again. "'And I'm cranky. Like a Grizzly Bear'..."

They exchanged another glance at that. After a moment, Conscience gasped in realization.

"The Grizzly Bear Rag!" they exclaimed in unison.

"Huh?" Twilight blinked and looked at the guys behind her. "What was that?" But they didn't hear her as they raced outside. After a moment, she rolled her eyes and resumed reading.

The second they closed the door, they stopped and deadpanned at each other.

"Conscience?" James asked flatly.

"Yeah?" Conscience's voice was similar to his.

"...Why did we go outside?"

Conscience just shook his head in response. "The music is louder out here than from inside, though."

James paused to listen to the music better. "...Yeah, you're right. It actually sounds like it's coming from... that way," he pointed to the left... which was when two all too familiar colts decided to frantically gallop by.

"I think it's rather late for children to be exercising outdoors," Conscience quipped.

James wasn't so focused on the fact that Snips and Snails were running seemingly for their lives, as the fact that they were running towards where the music was coming from. "...After them."

KLPOW!

Snips and Snail ran up to a familiar cart with a moon crescent on the front, and frantically beat at the door while calling out the owner's name. A good three seconds later, a disgruntled unicorn mare's head popped out of the window.

"Trixie thought she said the Great and Powerful Trixie did not want to be disturbed!" Trixie glared at the colts.

Snips laughed nervously. "We-- we have a-- a tiny problem."

"Actually, it's a big one," Snails clarified. Trixie was going to chew the two out when--

KLPOW!

"Guys, what are you two doing out here so late at...," James trailed off as he realized something. He looked at his conscience. "It's coming from here..."

"What? What's coming from here?" Trixie looked at James and Conscience with a mix of bemusement and exasperation.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Conscience asked.

"I don't think there's anything we can do," James shook his head. "Harney said they have a way with time, so this must be inevitable. All we can do is try to prevent it from hurting anyone..."

"What are you blabbering about?" the showmare interrupted.

"So if we wait this out, we have to deal with the terrible aftermath, but if we do take her out of the picture, something messed up still happens?" Conscience questioned incredulously. "...Talk about uncompromising paradoxes," he deadpanned.

James was about to agree when they heard a low guttural roar. Trixie looked behind them to see a what looked like a giant blue bear with a white eight-pointed star on the middle of its head breaking down trees in its way as it stepped out of the forest. Upon seeing them, he let out another roar.

"AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAA!" Trixie screamed in terror and fled the cart. The two colts turned around and followed suit when they saw the mountainous creature approaching. James and Conscience merely Flashed a good ten yards away, just in time for the cart to get crushed to splinters upon being stepped on... at the exact same time the song ended with it's final note.

As the creature roared, Conscience realized something and spoke up. "So, the music wasn't coming from Trixie, it was coming from the cart."

James furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, that's what the song was playing at? For the cart to get trampled by a giant starry, transparent bear? ...That's not a bad thing!"

"But maybe that is?" Conscience pointed at the beast who was growling at them. "Eh, beats me. I think he's kind of cute."

James nodded. "Yeah he is, isn't he."

"...We should probably run."

"Yeah, let's humor him some," James agreed before they ran after Trixie, Snips and Snails. They purposely didn't Flash though.

It didn't take too long to catch up with them, since they had stopped. Probably because...

"Did you really think it would make sense to corner yourselves in between buildings?" Conscience deadpanned as he and James ran up to them before turning their back on her.

"Um... no," Trixie shook her head slightly. Her gaze was fixed on the massive thing that walked up to them.

Conscience lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Why did he stop?" he asked James, who just shrugged.

"Great and Powerful Trixie, you've got to vanquish the ursa," Snips spoke.

"Yeah, vanquish so we can watch," Snails agreed.

"Ohhh, so that's what an ursa looks like...," James and Conscience said in unison.

"It took a lot of trouble to get that thing here," Snips continued, unaware of the way James almost broke his own neck snapping his attention to the colt.

Trixie looked back at the colts. "Wait, you brought this here? Are you out of your little pony minds?" Trixie asked incredulously, in which James Facewhipped.

"But, you're the Great and Powerful Trixie," Snips rebutted.

"Yeah, remember? You defeated an ursa major," Snails added.

James almost snapped, but thought against it. He decided to play along. It would be twice as satisfying to watch the 'Great and Powerful' Trixie fail so miserably, and then he wouldn't even have to say anything, because the damage would've already been done. When someone reached a certain age, he could only take so much of their naive bullsh*t.

Then he could chew her out for being an ass**le to his friends. Yep, sounded like a plan.

"He does have a point, you know," James smiled and crossed his arms. He elbowed Conscience before he could question him and gave him a pointed look. He immediately caught on.

"Definitely. Guess it was a good thing we went outside after all," Conscience nodded with a devious grin (while inconspicuously pulling out his camera). Apparently, the ursa was polite enough to let them finish before letting out another roar. Luckily, Conscience had ducked in time behind James, who used his cape to shield himself from all the saliva that flew out of the ursa's mouth. Afterwards, he held the camera out of everyone's sight and fixed it on Trixie and the ursa. He was such an ass**le...

"Uh, okay," Trixie gulped. "Stand back." Her horn flared, levitating a rope that was conveniently located inside a vase that happened to be nearby. She moved the rope to the ursa, wrapping it around it a few times before tying it together.

The mare let out the breath she was holding and smiled nervously at the colts behind her. "Piece of cake."

The ursa had a flat look on his face as he held up his paw, in which two fingers were tied. He moved them apart, effortlessly snapping the rope. ...And then he smirked.

"Ohoh snap, is he being smug?" James stifled a High Chortle.

"Wow. Just... wow," Conscience shook his head in disbelieving mirth.

"Aw, come on, Trixie," Snips complained.

"Stop goofin' around and vanquish it, eh?" Snails said.

"Now now," James put put up his index. "She's the one with experience, let her toy with it first if she wants. Then she can finish him off." He turned to Trixie. "Right?" his tone of voice and red eyes betrayed the smile on his face.

Trixie gulped again, looking even more nervous. She grit her teeth as her horn glowed once more. Behind the ursa, a thundercloud conjured up.

...It was barely larger than its head.

"Well, that was a dud," Snails said flatly.

"Yeah, pfft, come on!" Snips scoffed. "Where's all the cool explosions and smoke and stuff like earlier? you know." The ursa jumped in surprise when thundercloud zapped him from behind, leaving a scorch mark. It opened it's mouth.

"Uh-oh," Trixie said meekly before the roar escaped the ursa's mouth, in which she and the colts zoomed past him.

Conscience put down his camera before he and James Flashed over to catch up with the three. Lights from ponies' cottages started turning on.

"Why are they just now waking up? Did everyone decide to take some Zzzquil or some sh**?" Conscience asked James quietly. Sure enough, ponies were trickling outside into the streets to see what the commotion was. They gasped when the ursa roared and bit off part of one of the roofs, and starting galloping away.

James deadpanned. "...Okay, we need to sedate him before I shove something large and solid down his throat."

"Yeah, good idea," Conscience nodded. "You should distract him real quick."

"No, you distract him. I'm gonna set up my piano," James ran off to the side of the road.

"...Ass****," Conscience muttered. "HEY!" he shouted to the ursa, who surprisingly stopped and looked at him. "Do you know how much trouble it had to have taken for that to be built? That's not polite, you get down from there right now!" he chided.

The ursa glared at him and stepped down from the house and walked up to him. Conscience clenched his mouth and eyes shut, and turned his head sideways when it roared in his face.

When the ursa finished, Conscience turned to face it again, scrunched up his face, and let out a roar of his own. "RRRAAAAAAAHHH!!" Immediately after, he ran the opposite direction as he held his stomach and laughed his ass off.

Twilight ran down the street with Spike on her back, through a crowd of panicking ponies. She skidded to a stop in front of Snips and Snails, who were standing still. "What's going on?"

"We brought an ursa to town!" Snips answered.

"You what!?" Twilight's eyes widened.

"Don't worry, the Great and Powerful Trixie will vanquish it," Snails assured as they looked at said unicorn in front of them.

"I can't," Trixie hung her head.

"What!?" the colts exclaimed.

"I can't, I never have. No one can vanquish an ursa major. I just made the whole story up to make me look better," Trixie blurted out.

"Made it up!?"

They heard an approaching voice. Turning around, they saw Conscience scurrying up to the group, while in the middle of a laughing fit. "I roared in his face," he managed to say in between High Chortles. "He got mad at me 'cause I said it wasn't nice to destroy ponies' homes, and tried to size me up." He gasped for air. "And then I roared at him!" After that, he collapsed onto his back and pulled his hat over his face, still cracking up.

All the group could do was stare at him in bemusement, when they heard loud thumping noises getting closer. They withdrew their attention from Conscience to look up. There was the ursa, looming over them. And it roared.

But then its expression went to mildly confused as it heard something.

Twilight and Spike, as well as the other ponies, turned their heads to see where the sound was coming from. James was near the side of the street, on a piano, seemingly enjoying himself. While he was playing, he turned around look at everyone. When he caught Twilight's gaze, he gestured to the ursa with his eyes. A guttural sigh brought everyone's attention back to said ursa, who looked much calmer with the drowsy smile on his face. Better yet, it was swaying from side to side, barely holding on to consciousness.

Spike nudged Twilight and gestured wildly at the ursa. Twilight looked around and gulped. With a determined look, she walked up to the ursa and flared up her horn. Ponyville's water tower lifted off of its stand, opened its lid and tipped itself over, emptying the water out of it. Twilight was grunting from all the effort at this point, her horn glowing much brighter than it usually did.

The water container, as well as its lid, levitated over to a barn, and inside. Everyone could barely hear a collection of 'moos' coming from the cows inside. Eventually, the container emerged from the other barn door, filled with milk. Good thing James was too busy playing the piano, or else he would've had the urge to go and get a whole gallon for himself right then and there.

"That's new," Spike said to himself as the lid replaced itself on the container.

Gradually, the ursa's eyes closed and he finally began to tip to his side... where Trixie was standing, paralyzing her with dread. However, at the last second, it levitated off the ground with a pink aura. Twilight's horn was nearly blinding by now, as she let out a strained grunt while lifting the ursa in the air, right into the trajectory of the makeshift milk bottle. When it got close enough, the ursa subconsciously held it and began to suck on it.

Conscience , who had recovered in time to see all the action, spoke quietly to himself. "So the top of the lid is actually a nipple. Who knew?" he Signature Shrugged.

Spike watched along with all the other gathered ponies as the ursa levitated over the city and out of the town, over the forest, and finally back into its cave. Twilight finally relaxed, her breathing heavy.

Seeing the town was no longer threatened, James stopped playing and walked over to Twilight and put a hand on her shoulder. "See? You saved the town. Who's gonna hate you for that?" As if to prove his point, everyone else who was watching cheered.

"Heavens to Betsy! We knew you had ability, but not that much!" Applejack said.

Twilight wilted. "I'm sorry. Please, please don't hate--"

"Twilight," James interrupted firmly. "It was a compliment. They don't hate you."

"So, you don't mind my magic tricks?" she asked the girls. (James sighed in annoyance.)

"Your magic is a part of who you are, sugarcube, and we like who you are. We're proud to have such a powerful, talented unicorn as our friend," Applejack spoke.

"And after whuppin' that ursa's hindquarters, we're even prouder," Rainbow added.

"You are?" Twilight smiled. The girls nodded their agreement.

"Wow, Twilight, how'd you know what to do with that ursa major?" Spike asked. James rolled his eyes, grateful that Spike changed the subject.

"That's what I was doing when you came looking for me," Twilight explained. "I was so intrigued by Trixie's bragging that I was compelled to do a little reading up on them."

"I didn't read as much as she did, but I did get a little bit of info. That's how I knew to sedate it with calm music," James spoke up.

"So it is possible to vanquish an ursa major all by yourself?" asked Spike.

"That wasn't an ursa major," Twilight shook her head. "It was a baby, an ursa minor." James's eyes widened.

"That was just a baby?" Trixie asked incredulously.

"And it wasn't rampaging. It was just cranky because someone woke it up," she cast an annoyed glance at Snips and Snails.

"Aww," the colts smiled sheepishly as the crowd of ponies glared at them.

"Well, if that was an ursa minor, then what's an ursa major like?" Spike asked, his eyes wide.

Twilight looked up in thought, before giving her answer. "You don't wanna know."

Conscience decided at this point to drive in the victory. He turned to the blue unicorn. "So, 'Great and Powerful' Trixie, looks like you weren't so 'great and powerful' after all."

"'Was there ever any doubt?'" James glared at her.

"HOW DOES THAT FEEL!?" Conscience Exploded. James's mouth formed a crooked line; he wanted to be the one to do that.

Trixie took this opportunity to gather up the little remaining dignity she had left. "Huh, you may have vanquished an ursa minor, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping--"

Trixie gasped in surprise when James slapped her across the face. Hard. Not exactly Violent, but still pretty hard nonetheless. "YOU'RE FINISHED, GET OUT!" he shouted while pointing behind her.

Trixie managed to recover pretty quickly. Trying not to look vulnerable, she snorted indignantly, reared back and stomped the ground, triggering a smoke bomb. It didn't take very long for it to dissipate, and when it did, it revealed Trixie galloping away.

"Why that little...," Rainbow took off to fly after her.

"Cool it, RD, I think she's had enough...," James stopped her before turning around to face the two colts trying to sneak away.

KLPOW!

Snips and Snails jumped when they saw James suddenly appear in front of them, next to Twilight. "Now, while I have the urge deep down to thank you two for giving my friend the much-needed push to put that egotist in her place, it doesn't change the fact that this stunt you pulled was very stupid." Seriously, where were their parents when they snuck out? There's no way they went outside without their parents' consent. "What do you have to say for yourselves?" he put one fist on his hip.

Snips laughed nervously. "Uh, we're sorry that we woke up the ursa minor."

"We just wanted to see some awesome magic," Snails said rather excitedly.

"Oh, you did." James's tone went dark. "And all it took was threatening the town with a giant, dangerous creature." His death glare was all the indication needed to know that stalling was not helping.

"We deserve whatever punishment you give us," Snails said as the two colts bowed.

James pursed his lips and nodded awkwardly. "Twilight?" he turned his head to look at her.

"For starters, you can clean up this mess," Twilight looked at Trixie's destroyed cart behind her. Then she smiled at Spike. "And... what do you think, Spike? Should I give them number twenty five?"

Spike smirked. "Oh, twenty five, yes. And I think I deserve it, too."

"Heh?" Snips and Snails looked at them in confusion.

"I think you're right," Twilight mirrored Spike's expression as her horn flared.

*poof* *poof* *poof*

Spike and the colts each had a different type of mustache. "Sweet!" they exclaimed.

"Huh," James nodded. Well, they liked it. He supposed that would be their reward for getting Twilight out of her shell.

[The next day...]

"Dear Princess Celestia,

I have learned a very valuable lesson about friendship. I was so afraid of being thought of as a show-off that I was hiding a part of who I am. My friends helped me realize that it's okay to be proud of your talents, and there are times when it's appropriate to show them off... Especially when you're standing up for your friends."

"I'd actually feel sorry for Trixie's cart getting totaled if she wasn't such an ass****," James muttered as he looked over Twilight's shoulder at the letter she was writing.

"So, you finally admit that you're the most talented unicorn in all of Ponyville?"

Twilight turned around to face Spike, who still had his mustache. "Well, yeah, but it's nothing to brag about."

"So now you don't have to keep bragging about it for her, since everyone knows," James gave Spike a pointed look. "So, might I ask how did Rarity like your new facial hair?"

"Eh, she didn't go for the mustache," Spike's face fell.

"Well, she's missing out," Conscience came out. "Facial hair almost always get the girls. At least in our world. I guess it looks better on us?"

"...I'm not gonna answer that question," James looked (at the camera) out of the corner of his eye.

"You know, Spike, that mustache has nothing to do with who you really are. Maybe you should just try being yourself," Twilight suggested.

Spike looked down in thought, and perked up a moment later. "Or... maybe the mustache wasn't enough. Maybe if I had a mustache and a beard?"

"Spike, if you wooed Rarity just with looks, I would be very disappointed in her," James said. "I mean, just say you happened to lose your facial hair, the very reason she fell for you in the first place. What do you think she'd do?"

"...Um..."

"Exactly. But with yesterday's events, and her reaction, I don't think we have to worry about that. I'm sure she'd have an eye for what's inside of someone. You get me?"

"Well... yeah, I guess," Spike sighed.

James put a hand on his shoulder. "Look, I'm not trying to shoot you down, I'm just saying that if you want to win Rarity's heart, you gotta show her your center. It's what we like about you. And I bet she would too." Spike just nodded. The moment was interrupted as someone knocked on the door. "I'll get it."

KLPOW!

James opened the door to see a familiar grey pegasus. "Oh, hey," he greeted.

"Hi," Derpy pulled out a small, grey envelope with her teeth. "Urreh 'f Uh'm teh'ing uh aneh yuh ti'e, bu', uh... yuh gah don' haf a 'ailbahcs," her speech was impeded by the envelope in her mouth.

James stuck his head out the door and looked around. "...Huh. So we don't. Guess we'll have to see about getting a mailbox, then. But I really don't mind much," he Signature Shrugged before taking the letter.

"Well, I gotta finish my rounds, so I can't stay much longer," she said as she closed the strap on her saddlebags.

"Sure thing. Take care now!" he called as she flew away.

Conscience Flashed over. "You did it again."

"What do you--" James paused as he remembered what Conscience said yesterday. "I did, didn't I?" he facepalmed.

"...That's all there was? Who's it for?" he looked at the letter... but it had nothing on it. "This is another notification."

"I can see that," James deadpanned, "Guess we'll find out what it is later." He was cut off as his stomach grumbled. "Right now, I need to eat something. I haven't had much since yesterday."

He put the letter up, before closing the door and turned around. Almost immediately after, he got hit with a terrible migraine. "Yeah, definitely need something to eat."

[Ending Song]

Author's Note

Me: Get ready everyone-- in the next episode (or... soon, who knows?) , we'll be introducing a new character!
Conscience: Just so you know. Be nice, he's not exactly... um... he's something else. XD
Me: *shoots self in the head*