"ACHOO!"

Damn all of this motherfucking dust! How does a place with this much dust keep standing? Damn this place and everything in it! Ugh. Okay, so lets see if I've got this right. A mad woman from another dimension teleported me here from my nice padded room to a strange castle so that I could fight her sister for her. I was summoned here because I'm a skilled fighter. I admit that it's nice to know that the universe notices me, but this is ridiculous. When I got here I was given strange abilities that I barely understand. The basics as far as I can tell is: I regenerate, the more pain I feel the stronger I get, the stronger I get the more insane I get, and the more insane I get the more deformed I become. The worst part is I could be completely wrong about all of this. Then, during the fight I get blasted with some kind of sealing spell and I'm trapped on the moon for a thousand years with the same mad woman who tried the comic ecocide. When we get back I'm trapped in her body and I'm only able to get out just before the spell hits me again. After that the mad woman's sister tries to peg me for the reason her sister is crazy, even though I wasn't a part of this picture until the end. And now apparently I'm enemy number one. And the one thing I've noticed out of all of this is that I'm not going down there to try and kill them. Why am I so sane all of a sudden? Is it because of these powers? How the fuck should I know?! Okay, that was quite the info dump. I need to actually do something before I turn into some kind of narrator. So I start trying to find my way around this dusty old castle and I eventually find my way to a library. Sweet mother of mercy that's a lot of books too high for anyone to get. What the actual fuck? Who designed this!? Sorry, I'm getting off track. It looks like someone's been here recently. There's an iron bar door with a lock on it that seems to have been part of a stereotypical hidden door cliché. There's no dust on it so it must have been used. I walk over to it and on the other side is a weird ass looking stone book. A stone book? Why not just a stone slab, or carve it into the walls? Why a stone book of all things? Looks important though. Maybe I could get some money from that. I tug on the latch. It doesn't snap so it must be new. I don't think I can break it with my hands so I look around for something I can use. There are several tables with legs that look strong enough and WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! I literally just saw a shadow moving on it's own! What the fuck is going on?! I think a table leg would be a good idea for two reasons now. I go over to one of the tables and snap off one of the legs with a nice swift crunch. The shadow hasn't come back so I think I can not worry about it too much for now. I start hitting the lock and eventually it breaks. I'm skeptical how that actually worked but magic exists so unfortunately I can't question too much. I open the door and walk up to the "book". I grab it and open it. It appears to be absolute gibberish. Gibberish that appears to be in English, but gibberish none the less. Just a bunch of disjointed words and phrases. As I'm walking out suddenly the room starts crumbling. Oh come on! I run for the door and jump out just as it closes and starts crushing my foot. As good as it feels I think I should go. Come on, let go of my foot. Fuck! let got of my foot!

"FUCK!!!"

What was that? Did someone hear me?

"WHO'S THERE?!"

Suddenly there's a sharp pain in my neck as my neck is broken. Well if this ain't a fine howdy yah do. As I turn my head around to look at my assailant I can feel the muscles in my neck tearing. Why don't it feel as good as it should? Damn it, I can't care right now. I can only see the hands of my attacker through their brown cloak, Wait, scratch that. I can also see their eyes, somehow. Their hands are white with black tips and black stripes all the way down. The eyes are orange, and that's all I've got so far. They seem taken aback by my display.

"While I appreciate the attempt, please only try and kill me if you're sure you can do it."

Come to think of it, how am I speaking with a torn larynx? She says something that I swear is almost incomprehensible.

"What is this creature that I see? A creature that cannot be."

Cannot be? What?

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means your kind was lost long ago. Of this fact I thought you would know."

"Well I only just got here so anything other than moonbutt's a bitch is news to me."

"You speak evils of Luna, that cannot be. How can you say this, please tell me."

"She tried to kill everyone. I think that's enough of a reason to hate her. I mean, I can appreciate a mass murder, but you can't just kill all your prey so that they can't reproduce so you can kill their offspring when they grow up. How about I ask a question now. Who the fuck are you, what the fuck are you talking about, and why shouldn't I kill you for trying to do the same to me?"

They lift back their hood to reveal a feminine face, again white with black stripes. They don't look too happy to see me.

"I am Zecora, of the way of the see. I can answer both others with one word, bathsmy."

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?"

I really screwed with them that time. What I said made them widen there's eyes in shock.

"I don't understand! How could you resist the command?!"

"Command? what where you trying to do?"

"That was is a submission tell. It was to control a mind sent from hell."

Is she bullshiting me?

"Ha. Haha. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! You think you can control me? What a joke! No one can control me. Hundreds have tried, all are dead."

I start pulling harder as the claws start coming back. Why does she look delicious all of a sudden? She's scared. I like that. It makes the pray more fun to chase. Eventually I tear my leg off of the trapped foot. The foot returns to me as I lunge at Zecora. She sidesteps and pours something on my head. Suddenly I can't move. Why can't I move? What the fuck?! Bitch McStripey starts saying something.

"I do not wish to cause you pain. From using that word, I usually abstain.
but I had to make sure, that you are not with her."

Fuck you, your motherfucking bitch. She pours something down my mouth.

"I'm going to kill you and make it as painful as I can!!!"

"This anger, I've never seen before. Of your past I must learn more."

What?

"No! NO!!! I won't let you!"

She reaches at me to try and do something. I can't let her see it! I have to do something. I start pushing. Come on! As her hands reaches me I tear my arm, out of my arm. I can feel the blood spilling onto the floor from the bone sized hole in my arm. My skeletal hand grabs her arm. I can't see her face but I hear her gasp in shock. She backs off as my hand falls apart. Then she starts, praying? What the hell is going on?

"What are you doing?"

She stops praying.

"Do you not know? How can this be so?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

She throws a bottle at me and it explodes.

"TELL ME!"

After a little bit I can move again and I reassemble to my increased confusion. How am I able to move my bone without muscles? Fuck, this just keeps getting worse doesn't it?

Author's Note

If you don't like the story you could at least give constructive criticism.