Team Fortress 2. Equestria's Robot Invasion.

Team Fortress 2. Equestria’s Robot Invasion.
Chapter 4. Honor-bound.

Scout had run many times in his life, but never this fast. It was like a cruel joke. At least twenty robotic Demoknights were charging all over the place. Scout could remember DeGroot Keep being a terrifying place, and this resembled it very closely. Apart from the fact that there was a pony involved.

Rainbow Dash didn’t have too much trouble avoiding the crazed Scottish robots. Flying definitely had its advantages. All of the Demoknights were armed with Scotsman Skullcutters, Persian Persuaders, and the largest one carried a Half-Zatoichi. He was presumably the leader of this small pack of loose robots. None of them carried a Grenade Launcher or Loch-N-Load as the real Demoman did. Nope, these robots were loyal to the title of Demo-‘Knight’. Thus they were only using melee weapons.

“I take back what I said about those robots earlier! These actually look pretty scary!” Rainbow Dash shouted to Scout as she hovered next to him.

“Yeah, no kidding. We got to get out of this damn forest right away. Which way back to the town? Hopefully the sentry nest will be able to take them out.” Scout replied.

“We’re way back at the other side of the forest. But don’t worry! I know a way back in. Just follow me!” Rainbow Dash said as she took the lead.

Scout just kept running as fast as he could, not even looking back at these completely insane robots. The charging sound, the drunken gibberish, it was just so annoying! Demoknights were a force to be reckoned with. If one would appear from behind you, they’d cut of your head in a split-second. So facing twenty at the same time would be too much to handle for the fragile Scout, even with Rainbow Dash at his side. No, this was a job for Engineer’s Sentry-Guns. Or perhaps a certain individual that has a strange habit of blowing things up.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Engineer, Demoman, Pyro, Pinkie Pie and Applejack.

“T-That’s not the way to do it!” Demoman continued his drunken ramblings as he was getting dragged along by Engineer.

“Dag-nabbit! First Solly and Scout. And now Spy disappeared. What the hell is going on here?!” Engineer complained. On their way to Fluttershy’s cottage, Spy apparently saw something interesting and decided to do some sinister sneaking in the shadows with his Invisi-Watch.

“I don’t think Twilight’s going to be happy about that. You’re missing like… six out of nine humans already. And he looks like he’d partied way too hard last night.” Pinkie Pie said as she pointed her hoof at Demoman, who was in a world of his own.

“Ah agree. Ya guys don’t really seem to understand the consequences. We’ve dealt with our deal of creepers in the past, but ya humans might scare every pony in Ponyville if y’all just keep carelessly running around.” Applejack added.

“Ma’am, let me explain the situation one more time, including all details. Solly’s knocked out at some pony’s house. Medic and Heavy went to check it out, so they’ll be back in no time seeing as the purple unicorn and Sniper went there as well. Right now we still got Spy missing, but don’t worry about him revealing himself to the civilians here. He just likes to observe. And lastly Scout got kidnapped by yer blue flying friend. So ya don’t have to worry about him running around. That leaves me, Pyro and Demoman here. And we’re right here with you, so nothing can go wrong, right?” Engineer said.

“Ah… guess so.” Applejack replied.

“Good. Now where is this Flutter Guy’s cottage where Demoman can be taken care off?” Engineer asked.

“It’s Fluttershy. And we’re almost there. It’s right on the edge of the forest though. So we might need to look out for them robot fellas y’all keep talking about.” AJ answered.

“Hmm. Ah don’t have enough metal to construct more sentries. Pyro, you’re taking care of our defense when we arrive.” Engineer ordered his teammate.

“Mmmphh!” Pyro replied excitedly.

Five minutes later.

“Alright, we’re here. Why don’t y’all stand back for a bit and let me do the talking. Fluttershy is… well uhh, easily scared.” Applejack said.

“Sure thing ma’am. Come Pyro! Ah saw some chickens over yonder. We haven’t had lunch yet, ya know?” Engineer replied as he dropped down the half-unconscious Demoman against the building. He and Pyro went to check out the surrounding of this cottage.

“Hudda!”

“Wait… what?! Are y’all crazy? Pinkie! Go an’ make sure those fellas don’t start munching down those poor chickens.” Applejack said to her friend.

“Will do!” Pinkie Pie happily bounced after the two humans.

“Ughh… Here goes nothing.” Applejack was now alone in front of the entrance.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

“H-hello?” A voice peeped from behind the door.

“Fluttershy. It’s me, Applejack. Could ya open up, please?” The Earth pony asked.

“I-I don’t know…” Fluttershy replied.

“What? Why the hay not?”

“I heard Pinkie Pie’s voice… I’m not in the mood for any more pranks. Last night was more than enough.”

Last night was Nightmare Night and Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie went on a pranking spree. Even poor Fluttershy wasn’t spared.

Applejack quickly turned her long neck around the corner, checking the current situation. Demoman was silently mumbling against himself. Engineer, Pyro and Pinkie appeared to have made peace with Fluttershy’s animals. At least, that’s what she thought after she saw the Engineer’s hardhat was replaced by a chicken. After facehoofing at the situation, Applejack turned back to the door.

“Uhh, no. Ah swear this ain’t a prank. Pinkie’s just… hanging out with yer chickens. The problems is that uhh... we’ve got an injured animal right here!” Applejack was only able to come up with this on short notice. Technically she wasn’t lying.

The door suddenly got slammed open with great strength revealing the worried face of Fluttershy. “An injured animal? Where?” She asked concerned.

“Yeah… that’s the thing. It ain’t exactly an animal.”

“Then is it a pony?”

“Nah…”

“Then it has to be an animal. Where is the cute fuzzy wuzzy helpless little critter?” Fluttershy asked as she took a few steps outside her cottage.

“Uhh… The fella’s right around the corner.” Applejack said.

“Oh my! I wonder what wonderous creature it might be! Perhaps a phoenix! Or just a simple duck. I don’t mind, I love all anima-” Fluttershy stopped midsentence as she passed the corner.

“Y-Ye got some liquor, lass?” Demoman asked.

“Ah think he meant to ask if ya got some tea or something. He’s drunk as ya can see.” Applejack explained.

Fluttershy didn’t respond, but slowly made her way back to her safe house.

“F-Fluttershy? What are you doing? Ain’t ya gonna help him?” Applejack asked.

Still no response from the cream-colored Pegasus. A silent squeak at most. She was almost back inside… Everything was going to be okay. No scary looking things were around there.

“MMMPPPHH! HUDDA!” Pyro suddenly jumped out of nowhere blocking the entrance. He was armed with a chicken. It proceeded to make chicken sounds.

That moment, poor Fluttershy fainted. Nothing could have prepared her for this insane maniac waving poultry in front of her face.

“Dag-nabbit Pyro! Why would you scare that easily frightened pony like that?” Engineer said, looking pretty pissed off. Even though they were around the corner, they were still able to listen to the entire conversation between Fluttershy and Applejack.

“Mmmphh?” Pyro explained.

“Oh… He said he wanted to give a present to Fluttershy hoping that they would become friends.” Pinkie was once again working as a translator for Pyro.

“Do you got some screws loose, son? Ya can’t give a darn present to someone that already owns that certain possession. Anyway, what are we going to do about Demoman and yer friend now?” Engineer said facing Applejack.

“Might as well put him inside the cottage. Just one of ya guys help me! Ah don’t want to scare Fluttershy like that again when she wakes up.” Applejack said. So just her and Engineer went inside while Pinkie and Pyro remained outside, standing guard.

Engineer carried the small Pegasus and gently placed her on top of the couch. Applejack dragged the drunken Demoman along by his feet and eventually bucked him through the living room. He landed face first on the floor, right in front of the couch. He noticed absolutely nothing from all of this.

“Alright. I’ll get that fella some tea. Hopefully, it’ll help.” Applejack said and left Engineer alone in the living room with Fluttershy and Demoman. Both knocked out cold.

“G-gonna blow yer ass on the grass and I’m the grass… man… punk.” Demoman said. Okay, maybe he wasn’t knocked out. But he wasn’t making much sense.

“Exactly, pardner.” Engineer just kept nodding his head at everything Demoman said.

Engineer took a look outside the window. He noticed Pinkie Pie and Pyro hanging around the cottage. Pyro was apparently in a heavy argument with one of Fluttershy’s many pets and animal friends. This particular one was a beaver. Stranger things have happened, right? Now where the heck was that tea?

“Tea’s on, everypony!” Applejack said as she walked back inside, holding three cups of tea. Engineer had no time to question how an Earth pony without thumbs or the use of magic was able to hold all of these items.

“Thanks ma’am. Let’s hope it’ll clear that Scottish drunk up a bit.” The Texan replied.

“What’s this, lads? More vodka?” Demoman asked as he was handed a random beverage.

“He-he. That’s right pardner. Why don’t ya enjoy it.” Engineer laughed.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Twilight Sparkle and Sniper.

Sniper and Twilight, after regrouping with Soldier, Medic, and Derpy, were already on their way again in search of the missing Scout and Heavy. Unfortunately, some ‘things’ happened along the way and suddenly Twilight was in a rush to get to Fluttershy’s cottage as soon as possible.

“Look, mate! I’m sorry for what happened!” Sniper shouted at an annoyed Twilight Sparkle, who didn’t waste any time getting away from the Australian.

“Don’t talk to me anymore…” She responded.

“Oi! I thought that you said Spy! It’s just a habit I’ve developed from my time at the company!” Sniper said.

“I said FLY! It doesn’t even come close to Spy! I can’t believe you would do such a disgusting thing!”

“I told ya I’m sorry already. What else do ya want me to do?”

“Just… don’t do anything anymore, okay?” Twilight said. Sniper did as told and just kept following the purple unicorn, not saying a word. Eventually, they arrived at Fluttershy’s cottage where they were happily greeted by Pyro and Pinkie Pie.

“Hudda!” Pyro cheered.

“Hey Twilight! Did you find the other aliens? Wait a minute… What’s that smell?” Pinkie asked.

“… Can’t talk right now! Have to get inside, bye!” Twilight immediately rushed inside the cottage.

“Hmm… that was weird.” Pinkie proclaimed.

“Yeah… Don’t ask.” Sniper didn’t want to explain.

Inside the cottage.

Twilight Sparkle walked inside the house where she was immediately confronted by Engineer with a chicken on his head, an unconscious Fluttershy, and an awfully relaxed-looking Applejack. At least Demoman wasn’t knocked-out anymore. For just a moment here, Twilight Sparkle didn’t give a buck what was going on.

“Okay, I see you’ve got everything under control here, Applejack. I’m going to take a shower quickly… uhh, and YOU are going with me to the mayor’s office next!” Twilight stated as she pointed at Engineer.

“Me?! Why the heck me? I already told ya Solly’s the leader.” Engineer didn’t really want this responsibility.

“Well Solly’s not here now, is he? You’re coming with me whether you like it or not. You’re the only one that seems to be able to have a normal conversation… C-could you please take that bird off your head?” Twilight asked while facehoofing.

“Oh! Pardon me, ma’am. Didn’t realize ah still had that on. Anyway, I’ll come with ya, but promise me you won’t blame me for anything else that might possibly go wrong, okay?” Engineer told of his demands.

“Sure… just be ready.” Twilight replied.

“Alrighty then. Why don’t ya go take a shower? Ya smell like p-” Engineer was interrupted.

“YES, YES. PLEASE DON’T REMIND ME!” Twilight Sparkle yelled, clearly agitated. She walked up the stairs, going in for a quick shower before explaining the situation to the mayor of Ponyville along with Engineer.

“Ah wonder where Medic and the others are.” Engineer said while facing Applejack.

*BAMN!*

“Ze Doctor… is in.” Medic kicked the door open while performing his ridiculous entrance. Applejack was sure she even saw some doves appear out of thin air behind him. Soldier and Derpy were alongside him.

“Ughh… Ah told y’all to stay outside! Get back outside right now!” Applejack replied, annoyed. “You as well, mister!” She pointed at Engineer.

“M-me?! But ya heard the purple pony. She wanted me to come with her.” Engineer responded in his defense.

“Yeah, ya can wait outside for her. Ah don’t want anypony startling Fluttershy again. Just this fella can stay inside until he recovers.” Applejack said. “Are ya enjoying yer tea, pardner?” She asked Demoman.

“Yes. Quite, indeed.” He responded fancily.

“But… what are we supposed to do in the meantime?” Engineer asked. He didn’t really feel like hanging outside for a while.

Applejack quickly scanned the room looking for any form of temporary entertainment. Ah-hah! There it is. Surely this will be able to keep them busy for a while.

“Here’s a soccer-ball. Enjoy yourselves.” Applejack said and then she slammed the door shut.

“What is this? Does this pony expect she can just treat us like five year olds and get away with it? Do you know what we did with those kinds of people in the war?!” Soldier barked. Apparently he was completely healed by Medic’s Medi-Gun.

“Ja. I agree vith Soldier. Zhis is very demeaning.” Medic added.

“Oh. Yer just scared me an’ Pyro will wipe the floor with y’all.” Engineer chuckled.

“Mwaahaha!” Pyro joined the laughter.

“What! No man calls me a coward and lives another day! Give me that ball, maggot! I’ll show you a true man’s capabilities!” Soldier was ready to defend his honor.

“Oh! Can we play as well?” Pinkie chirped excitedly.

“You’re not serious... are you?” Derpy questioned if the BLUs even knew the definition of a ‘friendly game’.

But it had already begun. The most highly anticipated match this entire decade. Soldier, Medic and Derpy versus Engineer, Pyro and Pinkie Pie. May the best team win! Sniper was unfortunately excluded from the match for the sole reason that he’s a camper. No-one likes campers. Not even in this friendly game of football.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Spy. Somewhere in the Everfree Forest.

Spy had, upon given the chance, made his way from from the group. He was pretty smelly, due to the Jarate that Sniper threw at him earlier. He was luckily able to wash himself at a nearby river. It wasn’t an easy task getting there. Spy had to face multiple robotic Spycrabs on his way there. They weren’t that much of a threat and the Frenchman was simply able to avoid the stronger robots with the use of his Invisi-Watch. Cleaning himself up was his only goal at the moment. Now that he was done with that, he could make his way back to town and observe what ridiculous things the BLU might do next.

Spy was intrigued by this colorful world and its talking equine inhabitants. The very existence of magic fascinated him greatly. But there was one thing that piqued his interest even more. Fashion.

So Spy couldn’t skip the opportunity to take a visit at this boutique he just happened to pass. Perhaps some fashionable headwear is there to ‘loan’. Yes… There had to be.

Spy lit his cigarette and sneaked his way inside the building through the front door. Surely, at this early hour there was no one here.

“Mon Dieu!” Spy quickly equipped his Cloak and Dagger to remain permanently invisible as long he stood still. He was welcomed by the presence of two white unicorns, an incredibly small one and another larger one.

“Sweetie Belle! Did you leave the door open again? You have to stop daydreaming, dear. What if some pony just walked inside and stole my latest creation? I have finally been able to make a name for myself across all Equestria. I was simply dazzled by the fact that such a high-status pony such as Sir Hoofington of Manehattan would place an order at my boutique.” The largest one said.

“What?! I haven’t even been downstairs yet! You can’t blame everything on me, Rarity! You must’ve left it open yourself. Hey… What’s with all the smoke?” Sweetie Belle complained.

“No!” Spy whispered. He quickly swallowed his lit cigarette to avoid getting caught already. No problem, Spy was an expert.

“Smoke? Hmm, I don’t know. Close the door would you, darling? And… open up some windows.” Rarity ordered her little sister while she made her way to the kitchen, presumably to make some breakfast.

“Hmm hmm.” Spy chuckled as he rubbed his hands evilly. He thought he could take this opportunity to check out what this latest creation would be. Surely, a pony with a name as Rarity knew how to dress to impress and was aware how to finish an outfit, with a hat obviously. Of course these ponies were quite a bit smaller than the BLUs, but their heads were enormous. So surely, they’d be able to fit the same headwear.

Spy sneaked his way past Sweetie Belle and made his way to the fashion room, where presumably the magic happened.

And magic there was. Hats, hats everywhere. Of course, there was a large variety of pony suits and dresses, but those did not interest Spy in the slightest.

Spy uncloaked and checked out the various hats. He felt like it was that one time where he was able to score a ridiculous amount of points by infinitely destroying his own sapper when attached to an enemy building. Unfortunately, it gave the RED Engineer a stroke, though.

Spy started laughing like a maniacal pig and threw all of the hats he could find on the floor. He rolled in them in sweet delight. These were all his hats now! All OF THEM!

“Umm… Excuse me?” A voice asked from behind him. It was the little unicorn named Sweetie Belle.

“Mon Dieu! I’ve been spotted.” Spy reacted slightly startled. But this event did allow him able to think clearly again. Even a highly sophisticated man such as Spy couldn’t avoid going insane when confronted with such an amazing array of headwear. It was the BLUs’ only weakness.

Spy quickly checked his pocket. Yes, it was still there. “He-he.” He chuckled. He stuffed at least five random hats in his suit before making his way to the window.

“Zhis was quite a disappointment. But do not worry my little flower. I will return soon enough for ze real treasure.” Spy jumped out through window next before the young pony was able to react.

*Crack*

Oh, wow… That didn’t sound good. Sweetie Belle was more interested rather than frightened at this weird-looking alien. She peaked outside the broken window.

No… That didn’t look good at all. She saw the BLU Spy lying completely motionless on the ground.

“Are you alright, mister?” She shouted.

“Oui!” Suddenly another alien body appeared out of nowhere while the one on the ground simply vanished. Ah, he must be like a snake, shedding its skin. It all makes sense.

Actually it was the Dead Ringer allowing Spy to fake his own death, but ponies didn’t know what such a complicated Australium-powered device was just yet.

Spy ran off into the forest next after thrashing Rarity’s house and stealing a couple of hats. Sweetie Belle was confused, but also amused.

“SWEETIE BELLE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” Rarity was shocked after witnessing her room in a complete mess. There’s hats laying everywhere, and of course, the broken window was looking awfully suspicious. Unfortunately, Rarity was blind to what actually happened.

“OH, come on! I didn’t do that either, I swear!” Sweetie Belle begged for her innocence.

“Oh, really? Then who did, hmm?” Rarity asked sarcastically.

“Aliens. Bipedal, hat-wearing, snake-aliens!” Sweetie Belle was dead serious.

“…Go to your room, Sweetie. I’ll clean this mess up again.” Rarity rolled her eyes and sighed.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Applejack, Fluttershy and Demoman.

Some time had passed and both Fluttershy and Demoman regained their normal senses. Demoman was still slightly drunk, but the tea took the edges off. He was fine.

Fluttershy on the other hand was still pretty uncomfortable with an alien sitting inside her house. But Applejack guaranteed that despite the fact that these humans might seem slightly crazy, they meant no harm.

“So I bought a submarine, went all across the lake. And what do ye know? No bloody monster anywhere!” Demoman told one of his many adventures he had living in the Scottish Highlands.

“Uhh, why would ya want a monster to live in yer lake? That doesn’t really make sense.” Applejack asked.

“Are ye kidding me! It’s the thrill and the adrenaline ye get when encountering something unknown! Not even a bottle of Scrumpy can compare with that feeling.” The Scotsman explained.

“Oh, okay. Ah guess ah can understand that. Anyway, what’s yer job exactly?” Applejack wondered.

“Oh, I’ve had many jobs in the past years lass. But there’s one particular that’s been in the family for generations. As me name already gives away, I’m a Demoman or Demolition Man. I blow things up.” He explained.

Fluttershy was listening to the conversation the entire time and she finally summoned the courage to join in with the conversation. Just some small-talk, nothing can go wrong.

“Hmmmhm…” Fluttershy was so silent that not even she was able to comprehend exactly what she was saying.

“What, lass!? Ye gotta turn up the volume a bit!” Demoman said.

“I said…What makes you a good Demoman exactly?” Fluttershy peeped. Blowing things up sounded dangerous, surely this would be an interesting story.

“WHAT MAKES ME A GOOD DEMOMAN?!” The Scotsman slammed his fist in the table. “IF I WERE A BAD DEMOMAN, I WOULDN’T BE SITTIN’ HERE, DISCUSSING IT WITH YA, NOW WOULD I?!” Demoman seemed quite random once again. Poor Fluttershy was already cowering away again at the screaming Scotsman.

“Uhh, ya can keep the volume down yerself as well, pardner.” Applejack stated. Unfortunately, Demoman wasn’t even listening anymore.

“One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and KABLOOIE!”

“Ah think he’s drunk again…” Applejack said.

Demoman’s tone changed and he suddenly seemed quite a bit sadder. “I’ve got a manky eye. I’m a Black Scottish Cyclops! They’ve got more f-” He was interrupted.

“Yeah, Ah’m pretty sure he’s drunk again. Better get some more of that tea, Fluttershy. Ah’ll keep him busy.” Applejack said as she held her hoof against the Demoman’s mouth preventing him from saying anything inappropriate.

“Okay…” Fluttershy silently trotted towards the kitchen.

“Now what the hay is wrong with you? Ya can’t just keep drinking that much all the time.” Applejack said to Demoman.

“Oh, lass. It’s just helps me remember the past. For some, the future ain’t as happy as ye might think.” He explained.

At this same moment, Twilight Sparkle had finished abusing Fluttershy’s shower to clean herself up after the Sniper incident.

“Where’s Fluttershy?” She asked when she arrived downstairs.

“In the kitchen, gettin’ some more tea for this fella.” Applejack replied.

“So she’s not unconscious anymore? Good. I’m taking Engineer with me to the mayor’s office so we can discuss their ‘temporary’ visit here. I’m not sure if I should notify the princesses yet, though. Where are the rest?” Twilight Sparkle asked.

“Ah have sent ‘em all outside. Didn’t want to startle Fluttershy even more. There’s still a few missing, though.” Applejack answered.

“Good thinking. I’m sure we’ll be able to find them in no time. I’d just like to explain the situation to the Mayor as quickly as possible to prevent any more mishaps or miscommunications. I’ll be going now then. Tell Fluttershy that I’m grateful for her help, but I simply don’t have the time to sit around at this moment.” Twilight said.

“Will do. Good luck! Ah’ll take care of all of the guys around here. Ah’ll take Demoman here for a small walk to clear his head, then Ah’ll check on the others.” Applejack replied.

“Good. Good…” Twilight slowly made her way to the front door. She already knew that once she opened that thing, she would be confronted by another random action of the BLUs. Well, here goes nothing.

One opened door later.

Explosions, destruction, randomness. It was everywhere. Applejack just gave them a soccer-ball. How did it end up like this?

“I am fully charged!” Medic shouted.

“GO GO GO!” Soldier shouted.

Unfortunately Soldier was feeling like a Trolldier today and decided to rocket-jump away right at the moment Medic popped his uber-charge. Soldier crashed down seconds later behind the cottage.

“Dumkoppf! Come Fraulein. Get ze ball!” Medic quickly locked his charge on Derpy rather than Soldier.

“What… WHAT DO I DO?!” Derpy was extremely confused as her body started glowing bright blue and she felt more powerful than ever before. She rose up to the skies… and crashed headfirst against a tree. It exploded.

This gave the other team a chance to counter-attack!

Engineer was whacking his wrench, Nope-ing all over the place. From some certain angles, one would think his neck was expanding and contracting. Not even Sun-Tzu could argue with this brilliant strategy.

Pinkie Pie managed to get some help in the form of a party-cannon. She quickly grabbed whatever ammo it was that’s available. Wait… That’s it! BRILLIANT!

She stuffed Pyro inside the cannon. He gladly agreed to this obviously. After a thumbs up signaled by the Pyro, Pinkie prepared to launch him in the direction of the soccer-ball.

“WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?! Seriously!” Twilight shouted. This had simply gotten too far.

“We’re just playing a game of football!” Pinkie Pie explained.

“How is this playing football? You’re shooting rockets, lasers and cannons!” Twilight facehoofed. “You know what? I don’t care. Engineer! You’re coming with me right now. The rest of you just stay here and don’t break anything, okay? Do you all understand that?”

“Yes, ma’am! Ah hope yer not upset. We were just havin’ some fun.” Engineer stepped forward.

“I don’t want any more things to go wrong today. I think it has been enough. Come, we’re going to the Mayor’s office now to discuss your stay here at Ponyville.” Twilight said. So she and Engineer left, leaving the rest to continue their ridiculous game.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

The Everfree Forest. Scout and Rainbow Dash.

Both Rainbow Dash and Scout were still running for their lives. The robotic Demoknights were closing in of them, but no worries. They were almost back at Ponyville. Unfortunately, they were not going to be able to enter at the normal entrance since they were on other side of the forest. The closest way back in was via Fluttershy’s cottage, which wasn’t defended by Sentry Guns.

“There it is!” Scout and Rainbow Dash finally managed to escape the forest. The army of Demoknights remained motionless on the forest’s edge.

“Why aren’t they following us anymore?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Huh… I don’t know. They gotta be scared of me or something.” Scout replied.

“Oi, lads! What are ye doin’ over there?” A distant voice shouted. It was Demoman, accompanied by Applejack.

“Oh, Demoman! Look man, there’s like twenty robots right there!” Scout quickly warned his teammate.

From the edge of the forest multiple robotic Demoknights were shouting incomprehensible gibberish while flashing their metal crotches.

“Oh, me Lord! Well, better get the b- Wait… I-Is that an unusual hat?” Demoman suddenly changed the subject.

“Why, yes it is!” Scout said proudly.

“Congratulations mate! In all me years I’ve never been able to find one. Yer a lucky rascal, ya know that?” Demoman was pretty impressed and slightly jealous.

“Well, thank you very much, Demoman. Just for those kind words, I’m gonna give you this!” Scout reached out to his backpack and grabbed the Strange Bottle he unboxed from the other crate.

“… For me?!” Demoman asked surprised.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll like it.” Scout laughed.

“Oh, great joy! This Strange Bottle o’ Scrumpy will last me a lifetime! I can’t thank ye enough lad!” Demoman gladly accepted the gift.

“Are you sure ya should continue drinking now that ya have finally cleared up a bit?” Applejack questioned.

“Quit with yer fancy logic! There ain’t no problem a good Scrumpy can’t fix!” He replied while chugging down the bottle that didn’t seem to get any emptier. Strange items were strange indeed.

“Where’s the rest?” Rainbow Dash asked Applejack.

“They’re playin’ soccer in Fluttershy’s front yard. Can’t ya hear the explosions?” Applejack sighed.

“Why would they…Nevermind. Anyway, why aren’t those dumb robots coming over here?” Dash asked once again.

“Ah, yes. I heard Spy talk about those walking tin cans. Apparently they’re afraid of sunlight!” Demoman explained.

“Oh, that makes our job a lot easier!” Scout got ready to finish those annoying Demoknights.

“Oh no, lad. I haven’t blown up anything in months! Let me have my part of the fun, please!” Demoman asked.

“Fine, go ahead. But I’m stepping in if you take too long.” Scout replied.

“Don’t worry about that, mate! LEEEEEEETS DOOO IT!” Demoman did his battle cry and rushed towards the robots still standing like scarecrows at the forest’s edge.

“....T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cock-sure, prancin' aboot with yer heads full of metal!” Demoman shouted as he started lobbing some sticky bombs towards the pack.

“Come and get me I say! I'll be waiting on ye with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable, with an unhappy bloody end!” Demoman really loved quoting himself. The robots, however, remained motionless.

*BOOM*

Demoman activated his sticky bombs, blowing up the entire pack resulting in raining parts of metal.

“Oh, they're going to have to glue ye back together... IN ROBOT-HELL!” Demoman laughed while staring down at the remains of his foes.

“What did I tell ye? Nothing to worry aboot! He-he.” He chuckled again, proclaiming himself victorious.

“Uhh, you missed the big guy, man.” Scout said.

“Eh? What bloody big guy?!” Demoman asked.

But then he stepped outside the forest. The leader of the robotic Demoknights armed with a Half-Zatoichi. He was at least twice the size of any other of the robots. As he stepped outside the boundaries of the forest, the sun started having a negative effect on its metal skin. He started glowing up, almost as if he was burning. But the Demoknight didn’t care one bit and just kept walking forward.

“Oh lord. This ain’t going to be pretty. Scout, hand me my backpack, please.” Demoman asked.

“What are ya gonna do? Just blow him up like ya did with the rest of em.” Applejack said.

“No, lass. Some situations ye can’t just take the easy way out. Ye gotta do the one thing yer heart desires most. For true glory… and honor.” Demoman said as he equipped his very own Half-Zatoichi paired with the Chargin’-Targe.

“Ah don’t want to see anypony get hurt… Or y’all aliens.” Applejack stated.

“Don’t worry, lass. I’m a bloody professional.” Demoman said and stepped forward with his katana, not looking back.

He stood in front of the robot Demoknight who stopped its movement. They were about thirty meters away from each other. A perfect range for a charging duel. They’d both charge at each other and collide in the middle. The one that would get the first hit would be the victor. The loser would not live to tell.

“HAAAAVE AT THEM!” Both Demo’s shouted and began their charge.

Full of confidence, Demoman looked forward. He had the power of Scrumpy, therefore, he wasn’t worried in the slightest.

Demoman prepared to strike, but he was never able to. He tripped over a small rock and landed face first against the dirty ground.

The robot, however, just kept charging and managed to launch himself extremely high up in to the sky with the use of Demoman’s body.

Then he exploded randomly. Demoman had won! These robots must’ve really hated the sun.

“Victory! Drinks for everyone around!” Demoman cheered.

“Weren’t ya scared that ya might’ve potentially died there?” Applejack asked.

“Died?! Lord no. If I’d die, me Mum would bloody kill me!” Demoman explained.

“… Let’s just get back to the house, shall we?” Applejack said. And so they did! With Scout and Rainbow Dash returned, surely things can only go uphill from here on out.

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Heavy and super-mysterious pony. Somewhere at an unknown location.

“THE GREAT AND PO- I mean… I’d like to ask you if you’re happy with your newly acquired hat.” The pony asked.

“Da! Blue pony keeps promise. Was surprising to Heavy, but very good!” Heavy answered.

“So… You’re going to help me with my… little problem then?”

“Da! Little pony is now Heavy’s friend! We will have glorious times and adventures!”

“Good, good…” The pony started rubbing her hooves evilly. “He-he-he.” And she followed with a diabolical chuckle.

“Ha. Ha!” Heavy joined the laughter. “And Sandvich can be credit to team as well!” He stated.

“D-did you just pull that out of your pants? Throw that away. It’s dirty!”

“NJET! Do not insult Sandvich. If he is not credit to team, he will be credit to stomach.”

“Fine… keep your stupid sandwich. Come on, let’s go.”

And they walked off, as the citizens of Ponyville started getting ready for a new morning. Surely, nothing else would go wrong from this point out. It was all sunshine and happy times from now on!

Surely!

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/