A Different World

I don't really know what to think at the moment. After my complimentary dumb question, the captain had sworn the blacksmith and the rest of the guards to secrecy, wrapped a length of bandages around my mouth to keep me from talking further, and then dragged me out of the shop like the hounds of hell were biting at our heels. Or fetlocks. I know horse.

Everything moved so fast, one moment we were rushing through the streets, the next, we were walking calmly through the halls of the most magnificent palace ever created. I should know. I burned down all the ones on my home world. There were other horses here. Must be the dominant species or something. Strange. More and more females. Mares, I should say.

Well, there were others like me, here and there. Wearing similar golden armor to the guards who were escorting me through the palace. some even had mares riding atop them, bearing large lances. They all gave me odd looks. I'll admit, I probably smell funny. Haven't exactly cleaned this thing in five years. Haven't even removed it in the past two weeks.

Suffice to say, it was filthy and disgusting, and I was in desperate need of some hygiene. All the hygiene.

I was rudely snapped out of my thoughts by door coming out of nowhere and slapping me across the muzzle. I was about to pick a fight with it, when it seemed to hear more guards coming and sprinted away as fast as it's feet could carry it. A moment later the pursuing guards rushed past, all shouting something about "discord".

Then, as I watched the door and the guards disappear around a corner, a walked into a stationary door. My word, it was the size of the broadside of a barn. I used to work in a door factory myself, so I can really appreciate the quality of it. Someone really had a fondness for the Eastern French décor. Not that they could possibly know what France was. Or did they? I need to stop asking these questions.

The captain gently pushed me back away from the door and gave me a reassuring smile. Quite a far cry away from the hysterical mare that had dragged me through the streets just a little while ago. I hope she wasn't one of those bipolar girls. I could really use a pub, and an all-American bacon cheeseburger right about now.

And how about some manly companionship? The estrogen was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

The captain attempted to straighten her mane and uniform. Then she realized was wearing a metal suit and groaned before pushing the doors opened by herself and entering the room, bidding me follow, but the rest of the guards stay.

I did as I was instructed and found myself even more amazed by the magnificent throne room than I had ever been by the grand halls of the palace. Of all the things I have ever ransacked and destroyed, this trumped them all. I think I was on the verge of an orgasm at the sight of the all the shiny, beautiful things that lay before me.

"Your majesties," the captain said, drawing my attention to the throne itself. That's right, throne rooms are supposed to have people in them. Duh. I tend to forget that. Important people. "I, Captain Ivy, request an audience with you."

A chuckle sounded from the throne itself, a giant cushion, upon which sat to other mares, dressed in regalia or gold, silver, white, and blue. So simple, yet, outstripping many of the pretentious upstarts I've encountered. On top of that, they quite tall. Amazons is how I would rate. Strong, defining curves, faultless complexions, kind eyes and even kinder smiles.

The only reason I don't rate them a ten is because their boobs were too small. Granted, there was plenty to notice. But, that was it. You would just notice them. They didn't exactly draw your attention.

"What have you brought with you today, Dear Ivy," the white one asked, resting her chin upon her palm. She eyed me with quite a lot of interest.

Have been bowing the whole time, the captain stood up straight to give her report. "Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna, royal sisters of Equestria, today I answered a call about an abused stallion."

The two sisters gasped in horror.

"Continue." the blue one said in a dark tone.

"Already on patrol with some new recruits," the mare continued in an even tone, "we hurried to the place indicated by the mare who brought it to our attention. What we found was a stallion locked inside of a strange suit that inhibited his movement and sight, wandering the streets, lost."

The white one was scowling deeply, but remained silent, as did her sister.

"Our first attempts to help him escape were unsuccessful, as whoever put him inside of the suit had cruelly hidden the locks. Although he appeared to be wearing simple cloth, our blades could not cut them. We were forced to seek the help of a good blacksmith, who managed to remove the helmet without harming the stallion."

"She shall be rewarded," the dark one said promptly. "So, tell us, captain. Are you here to report a mare, or mares, going about and stuffing stallions into cruel suits, from which there is no escape without outside aid?"

"There is that possibility," the captain said, looking aside. Yeah, I'd like to know why we're here as well. Stupid rags on my muzzle. No one forced me to wear this stuff. It was simply necessary.

"Is this the stallion here?" the white one asked, flaring out a pair of wings from behind her back, nearly giving me a heart attack.

The bloody hell? Amongst other exotic curses.

"Tia," the dark one chided. "You have frightened him."

Tia? Oh, Celestia. The other must be Luna. Got the names now.

Celestia blushed apologetically. But didn't fold her wings. No, she then decided, hey, since they're already out, lets fly with them. I wasn't sure if I was scared or amazed. Scazed. Amared. Nah, those are stupid.

Anyway, Celestia flew, or glided, right up in front of me and laid a hand upon my cheek, smiling kindly. Just her touch seemed to calm me down. I call witchcraft.

"My, he is a giant," she said softly, leaning in close to nuzzle my muzzle. She was one to talk She still stood a good inch taller than me. "Why would any mare wish to torture such a fine specimen? Did he become violent, Captain?"

"No, your majesty," the captain responded.

"Then why is he muzzled?" Celestia inquired, feeling the rags with a look of disdain on her face.

"Well... you see... the thing is...," the captain tried to speak, but failed immeasurably. Finally she resigned and grabbed the rags in one hand and yank. "See for yourself, ma'am."

As soon as those things were off, I stretched my jaw as wide as I could get it. It popped loudly, relieving so much tension. "Ow. Finally. A simple 'shut the hell up' would have sufficed. Thank you very much."

Again, with the shrieking and pointing, and the disbelief. They seemed very prone to shock. I really hope it's not a trend. Or a running gag. That would get old.

"Fine... fine, continue your little lung exercises," I said, eliciting more cries of shock from the princesses and the guards. Not the captain. She seemed the only sensible one at the moment. "I'm just gonna finish taking off this stuff. Alone, apparently. As none of you seem inclined to help. Stupid hooves."

The captain, hearing my complaints, aiding me in the removal of the armor, which was very easy with the helmet, and with her hands. However, the moment the moment she managed to loosen the concealed straps and pull the stuff off my back, everyone set about in a new series of panicked cries, louder this time.

So loud, in fact, that it concerned the guards outside the throne room, prompting them to burst in to see what the problem was. Me apparently. This also lead to more cries of shock and alarm. I was getting really mad by this point.

Really, really mad.

"WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP?" I lifted my own deep voice ceiling, stamping a hoof against the floor.

There was immediate silence.

Looking about, I saw everyone had obvious blushes on their faces. It was hard to believe you could see a blush through all that fur. Again. Was it something I said? These horses are really bad at cluing me in about... anything.

As if I wasn't confused enough, the dark sister, Luna, seems to materiliz beside me, pull my head against her chest in a protective fashion, and shout:

"I hereby claim this alicorn stallion as the royal consort."

"Ali Baba Corn Wallace what now?" I asked, not exactly concerned about my current position. Though, it could be a lot more comfortable if she were more endowed.