A Different World

Okay, let's clarify a few things. I was in the body of a horse. A hooved beast of burden that walks around on all fours and likes apples. While i have seen a few others like me in this world, most of the population, so far, were a bunch of mares who stood upon two legs with hands and... yes, hooves below.

How nice, they don't have to suffer the horror of stubbed toes either. But, on the other hand, I'm going to miss hands. At least I could grip something with them. Am I going to have to graze now? I hope not, or else this feast they've laid out before me would just be the cruelest thing since the Kardashians.

"Is it to your liking?" the one named Celestia asked, an excited look on her face.

"The food just got here," I explained to her. "I haven't even gotten a chance to take a bite yet."

"Oh, silly me," she blushed and looked aside. Her sister rolled her eyes and pushed what looked like a bowl of mashed potatoes. "Sorry... it's just um... you can talk."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I asked as I bent down to sample the mashed potatoes. I almost cried as soon as a I tasted it. Not becasue it was super delicious, which it was, but because it was the first proper food I've had in years. But I sucked those tears back inside, refusing to show weakness.

"Well, it's just very unusual," Luna told me, pushing a platter of jello towards me. My word, if I didn't know any better, I'd say she was trying tell me something. "In fact, it's impossible."

"Apparently not," I responded, sampling the jello. No one seemed to mind the fact I was sticking my face into the food. As if it was normal to have someone eat in this fashion at the dinner table. "After all, I'm living proof."

"Indeed," Luna said, nodding slowly. "Though tis a wonder you can do anything at all. You're so thin. How long have you been without food?"

"Oh... a couple weeks," I answered simply, moving onto what appeared to be a stack of pancakes. Holy... did I ever mention that pancakes are my favorite food ever? Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Potatoe, plain, beer-batter, I love them all. Unlike those hypocrite waffles.

"A couple weeks?" the sisters gasped in horror.

"I swear, the echo in this place in uncanny," I responded. Drat. Hunger made me eat those pancakes in record time.

Celestia quickly joined her sister in pushing food in my direction. Are they Jewish or something? No, that wasn't a slam on the Jews. Ever eaten at a Jewish friend's house as a kid? The mother will not let you leave the table until you gain at least ten pounds.

"How are you still alive?" Celstia asked, amazed. "Most stallions might have died from such neglect."

What? Did they think I was some pushover. I didn't conquer half the world by letting a little thing like personal health get in my way. Then again, I suppose they wouldn't know about that.

"I guess I'm just tougher than most stallions," was my response. You know... now that I think about it... I haven't been getting any answers, at all. Ever since I arrived in fact. Yet, here I am, answering all of their questions like some magic eight ball.

"What mare birthed such a mighty beast?" Luna inquired thoughtfully. Okay, that was flattering. I'll answer one more question.

"A very tenacious one," I told her, whilst trying to wipe my face with a hoof. "I am the third of five sons, with four sisters."

There was an audible gasp.

"Your mother gave birth to five sons?" Celestia asked.

"Yes indeed." Dang it. I answered another question.

"While only having four daughters?" Luna asked. "That's almost unheard of."

"Why?" I asked. Yay, a real question.

"Because, on average, a mare usually produces two sons, with nearly a dozen daughter during a full reproductive lifecycle."

That explanation brought up more questions. But I wasn't interested in those wacky alien reproductive trivia. I have other things I need to know before thinking below the belt.

"So, a mare can produce that many?" They nodded, seemingly eager to answer my question. This was good. "Then why haven't I seen very many of my kind?"

They became perplexed. Great.

"I don't know what you mean?" Luna inquired, giving me a sideways glance. "What do you mean, you haven't seen many of your kind?"

I rolled my eyes. Surely that was disrespect to royalty, but I didn't happen to care at the time. "You know, what I am. I've seen a few of my kind around your lovely palace. Some of your guards were riding them."

Celestia blinked. "Are you saying your not a pony? And that there are others in our ranks?"

I considered that. "I thought for sure I was a horse."

Everything became quiet. The servants, guards and princesses all stared at me in horror. Oh dear. Did I just ruin the status quo? I really don't want to be on the run again. It's no fun. But I was prepared to defend myself from all forms of attack.

Except a pair of great hugs that threatened to comfort me. I really wish I knew what was going on. That way I could respond properly. I hate not knowing what to do.

"Did the mare who abused you sell you out for prostitution as well?" Luna asked as she squeezed me something fierce.

"What?" I asked, baffled and befuddled. I thought about that for a minute. "Oh... wait a moment. You thought I said, whore. No. I said I was a horse."

The two sisters, still hugging me, leaned back and looked at me oddly.

"A what-a-what?" was Celestia's intelligent question.

I groaned. Never before have I had to explain what a horse was. "A horse. A four legged equine creature, typically used as a pack animal to haul carts of produce or carry people from one place to another."

"Sounds like an awful life from whereever it is you hail," Luna stated. "No decent mare simply uses their stallion in such a fashion. Not without proper reward at least."

"Well, owners typically just give them some shelter and hay to lay down," I explained. "The horse gets a small little stall to sleep in during the night, and the owner gets..."

That's as far as I got before the two princesses got really mad.

"What vile creatures dare treat stallions as slaves," Luna growled, a sword now in her hand. I don't know where it came from, but I really hope she doesn't start swinging it about like a maniac. "They are our sons, brothers, and fathers. To be reduced to such undignified roles as such calls for a thorough investigation to judge our nation's morals."

"On this I agree," Celestia growled menacingly. "How could we be so naïve? It was only a matter of time before some mare thought that using stallions as slaves would give her a life of ease."

"When we find her, she shall be hung above the gates of Canterlot by her thumbs," Luna declared, rasing the sword above her head. This caused the servants and guards to cheer loudly.

Meanwhile, I'm still sitting at the table, completely at a loss for what's happened. Save for a few key phrases that stuck in my head. Let's review.

I was talking about myself. Then they go on about stallions being their sons, brothers, and fathers. I'm a stallion. They're mares. Of all the horse people I've met today, they've all be female. Except maybe those several quadroped creatures I saw out in the halls. I didn't notice, as I don't have desire to see another guy's tackle. Plus, they were wearing barding that covered them fairly well.

Hmmm. There's something here I can't quite put my fing... hoof on.

Well, let's see I can't convince them to give me a bath before they start their crusade.