Death By Puns (And Tentacles)

The next day at the old castle, everypony was hard at work. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were draping tapestries and doing the high up chores, while Rarity did her best to spruce things up as Applejack removed a bit of the clutter and Pinkie Pie scrubbed the floors in the silliest way possible.

“Looking good, everypony!” said Twilight as she oversaw things, “Let’s keep this magical makeover moving!”

“Good old Spike is here, ready to do his part!” Spike said from behind Twilight wearing his little backpack and ready to go, though Twilight was a bit distracted so didn’t pay him much mind, partly because she always felt awkward the day after she and him did ‘things.’

Nearby, Applejack was putting up apple-related pictures on the wall, though it was unclear as to why she thought those were appropriate for a castle.

“A little more to the left!” Pinkie advised her as she scooted by, gliding across the floor on cleaning sponges, then took another pass when Applejack tilted it the wrong way, “No, the other left!” Applejack tilted it back and Pinkie quickly added, “Awesome! That’s perfect right where it is! On to the next painting!”

“You sure you don’t need any help?” Spike asked Applejack.

“Nah, that’s okay,” Applejack smiled and patted his shoulder.

“We have everything under control!” Pinkie said quickly as she passed by again, this time splayed out and scrubbing the wall with all four hooves. Pinkie was good at many things that involved spreading her hooves.

“Dash?” Spike looked up at Rainbow.

“I’m good!” assured the pegasus.

Spike sighed, coming up behind Twilight again, “Isn’t there anything I can help you with, Twilight?”

“Don’t worry about it Spike, it’s all good!” said Pinkie quickly as she scooted by on her hind legs, still scrubbing.

“I think she’s right,” Twilight smiled to Spike, “It looks like we’ve got it, Spike.” Twilight turned to the others, “Looking great everypony!” then back to Spike, “Why don’t you find a quiet spot and finish reading your comic? Aren’t you right at the part where Hum Drum was about to stop the villain?” She pulled the comic from his backpack and unfolded it into his hands.

Spike narrowed his eyes and ran to catch up with her as she walked towards her next task. “Hum Drum never stops the villain. He’s just there for comic relief and the occasional outlet for sexual tension.”

As if on cue, Spike stepped in a bucket of soap water. He dropped his comic and struggled to get the book off, writhing about in a silly fashion as he did.

“Rarity, let me give you a hoof with that!” Twilight said as she walked away, leaving him to his antics.

“I could do it!” Spike offered as he kicked the bucket off and up into the air. He didn’t know what ‘it’ was, but he’d do anything involving Rarity.

“That’s okay Spike, “Twilight assured him still. “Go and read your comic.” She winked, “Just make sure to use either a washcloth or your mouth, so we don’t have something else to clean up.”

“Pony power!” Pinky giggled as she passed by again, this time scrubbing the floor with her head as all fours waggled in the air. “Wheee!”

Spike sighed, then turned around just in time for the bucket he had kicked to land on his head. He walked away, realizing quietly that he and Hum Drum were very much the same.

Having found a quiet room, the same one where Twilight had found the princess diaries before, he flipped through the comic book to find where he had been.

“Mane-iac kills Batmare... finds out about the orb... Mane-iac breaks into the museum... Okay here we go...” Spike smiled as he started to read sitting back onto a cushion and prepared to whip out his dick, but rolled his eyes shortly after, “Ugh, what a surprise! Hum Drum is in the way again while the Power Ponies do all the work! I guess I know what that feels like.”

He then gasped though when he turned the page again, the next one appearing to be blank.

“Wait, what?” he gasped, “How can that be the end? What’s... that?” He looked more closely as he noticed tiny text, “’You can... retr’ What? ‘You can... return...’ Urgh! I know I saw a magnifying glass lying around the last time I was here...”

Spike left the comic on the floor and went to look about the room.

“Spike? Where are ya, Spike?” Applejack called from nearby as he searched, though he was a bit too distracted to pay attention to them now.

“We’re breaking for tea and biscuits!” Rarity called out, “Maybe we can fit in a bit of a quickie too?” Hm, that was strange, that second line usually brought him running right through walls if he had to. He must have really been distracted.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes at Rarity, then yelled out “Spike!”

Spike was too entranced by the comic, having found a magnifying glass. He was going to answer them, but wanted to know what it said right away so he could tell them. “’You can return to the place you started when the Mane-iac has you defeated.’” Spike read, “’Take a closer look to take your final adventure in this book.’ What does that even mean?”

Suddenly the book bristled with magic, a bright light glowing within the pages as it hovered.

“Whoa, cool!” Spike exclaimed, pretty useless as he stared at the obviously dangerous magical artifact.

Unluckily for Twilight and the others, they came around the corner in time to see him with the book, and more specifically getting sucked into the light, as if he was being pulled into the book itself somehow.

“Heeeelp!” Spike screamed as he braced himself and tried to pull back before he disappeared within the pages.

“Spike!” Twilight ran and grabbed for him, barely grabbing his tail in her hooves before he disappeared and trying to pull him back, only to be pulled within herself.

Rainbow did the same to Twilight, grabbing her about her flanks as she was pulled in. Applejack then grabbed Rainbow’s tail in her mouth, as she was prone to doing, almost strong enough to tug them all back out, but not quite enough. In desperation, Fluttershy grabbed Applejack and Rarity grabbed Fluttershy, but that just doomed them all to the same fate. Pinkie Pie as well, seeing her friends going in, simply hopped in after them with a ‘Wheee!’.