With a very pitiful puff of horrific stench, an extremely ugly man with long blonde hair the color of white piss and light blue eyes the color of blue antifreeze for some reason and pupils the size of pencil tips appeared. Instead of clothes or something truly reasonable, such as suit or even a full body skin suit, he wore large bright red or crimson armor. The armor clanked to a stop and he unsheathed his sword, pitiful electricity crackled along the blade like a weak electric fence.

A taser has more of a charge than the strip of red metal poorly crafted, it could probably be snapped by a toddler touching it, the craftmanship was that awful. Honestly, normally there wouldn't be this much on a stupid sword but there's a point where it's a sword and then there is this garbage, it was just a jagged piece of metal painted red! It was even made of aluminum of all things, and the red paint was starting to crack.

The armor was actually just cardboard, despite the clanking noise that somehow came from it. He had used bright red paint to give it a shine, chrome red paint actually. To be honest, it looked like armor from a distance but once you got close it looked like poorly rendered armor from a 2003 game of some sort. There was still, of all thing, a price tag attached to both the armor and the sword, along with the paper crown, also red, atop his head.

The sword had the numbers 1250 on it with a small image of a person yelling, while the armor said 8888. The crown meanwhile had a little note with the same image and it said "I can't believe this idiot actually bought this XD". He looked like a poorly drawn OC, all in all, and that's essentially what he was. Laughing with glee he skipped towards the town like a little girl, effeminate giggles coming from his mouth.

While he skipped towards the town, someone began to sing The Hills Are Alive, though it was clear the awful OC man could not hear it as he skipped through the fields. A man in a pinksuit, wearing an old style dress, sang in a beautiful falsetto and followed him into the town slowly. As he sang, little birds and various animals came up to him, nuzzling him lightly before running off. With Pinksuit behind him, the man in the horribly bad armor managed to enter the town and gazed around at the ponies.

A huge grin appeared on his face and he realized where he was now, this was certainly Equestria! With a tea rful smile as he wiped away the tear, the an let out a nasally effeminate cry of "Moi waifus! I must find my queen for she and my family will rise!" He grabbed one of the ponies and nodded with a whisper said, "A suitable stand-in." Pinksuit shook his head sadly and began ushering the remaining ponies out of town from the OC man who began to rant as he tied up the small horse.

"As the patriarch, I must establish our rules, my queen," his nasally effeminate voice came forth and the pony paled, Pinksuit held up a sign in the background though. Let him go on, Help Will Be Here Soon. She gulped and nodded to the red man. "I am Genesis Valentine, you are my queen and we have never been defeated in battle! My family fights only with honor, of course, and as my queen you must too." She nodded for him to continue, a single tear falling from her eye.

Assuming it was from the beauty of what he was saying, Genesis continued, "I once fought with no honor, a long time ago. I was a scoundrel, a very bad man, because I fought with very underhanded tactics against someone of great power. Despite their honorific means of combat, I tried to destroy them. As a denizen of the night, the very embodiment of the witching hour, they ruled a great faction of many. I called them a great many things, mostly a corrupt baby person, despite their attempts to teach me the truth and help me in my endeavors. Indeed, I was once a man called Silver, for my hair you see, and this person and I had a great many battles though soon I found myself barred from their presence."

The pony stared at him, her mind racing at the ridiculous tirade the weirdly ugly creature seemed to be going on. She had to question if it was mentally challenged or something else. Did it lack common sense? Whatever it's problem was, it was severe. The other creature had said help was coming and she could only hope they weren't cahoots, though she doubted it because the pink creature was rather majestic.

When she turned her attention back, Genesis was still going, "I have fought a great many assassins in my past, in fact just earlier today and-" a deep baritone voice, majestic and brilliant to her ears interrupted the creature. It echoed deeply and sung in her heart like the dawn of a new era, a warmth like that of the fresh morning sun calmed her and when she faced he source a majestic creature with a head similar to her own was there wearing a crisp suit. The attire was far more fashionable.

"I'm never gonna give you up," it had said and she was entirely sure that it meant what it had said wholeheartedly. As she watched, the other creature in it's horrific form turned and faced the divine being she had seen.

"What brings you here, my good fellow? Have you come to join my royal family? There are many tasks required that are made to break your mind," Genesis stated in his ear-piercing voice.

"What is this ear-damning squall I hear coming from this red thing," the divine one asked, facing Genesis.

"I am Genesis Valentine, Patriarch of the Royal Family. Neither I, nor my wife, have ever been beaten in battle you see, do you wish to join my family," the red monster asked again.

"I've already beaten her," the divine one said.

"What?"

"I've already beaten her," it said again.

"What, no you haven't! You're just saying you did!" Genesis screamed in anger, "I've killed for less!"

Without any warning, the pink creature slid up and started to plead with Genesis, "No! Please don't kill him! Please don't him!" It said in a rather effeminate voice, though it sounded better than Genesis' own voice. She stared between the three creatures before her in utter confusion as Genesis pushed past the pink creature and swung the sword in it's hand. With a flick of his wrist, the divine one snapped it like nothing more than a twig and reached into his pocket, removing a small red creature.

The little thing titled it's head, "Not my queen, dis is not," the creature took a deep breath and a sonic boom raced forward and blew the red monster's armor and crown to pieces as it said "DE WAE!" The shout echoed for several moments and the divine creature faced her and nodded as he and the pink one walked up to the now half dead red monster. "I don't usually beat dead horses, but I'll make an exception," he began to kick the injured red thing which fell unconscious.

"So, why are you pink now, my good friend?" it asked the other creature.

"The pie horse." The divine one nodded at that response.

Genesis awoke with a start, only to find himself facing a mirror like some sort of cliché. What stared back was a brain and a pair of eyes floating in a jar. As it watched, Horse Mask approached with a grin and nodded, placed a label on the jar where Genesis could see.

He got ready to yell and Horse Mask shook his head, "None of that now, I'm not leaving you alone, don't worry!" he removed a small plush bean with pink hair from his pocket. "My one and only Haunted Astolfo plush. It called me gay once, and if you need it to, it'll suck your dick and call you gay. Have fun." He sat it on top of the jar and the little bean let out a cry.

"YOU SO GAY BITCHBOI GIMME YO DICK."

Author's Note