Author's Note

This chapter felt like it took forever (primarily because it did; life doesn't like the aspect of enjoyment, haha). My primary concern was keeping it interesting, given it's much, much longer than my first chapter, and it becomes difficult to keep readers hooked if the chapter is too long. Since I do include interruptions in this "flashback" of sorts with dialogue between Twilight and Diplo, I went ahead and separated those interruptions from the actual flashback in an effort to make it more readable. Those interruptions will be separated by dashes (--), and the dialogue in italics.

2 - Just Doing a Job

"Four days ago, hmm?" Twilight queried, starting to write in her little notebook, staring at Diplo.

"Yes, four days ago," Diplo repeated.

This is a scene that took place four days before Diplo found himself in this magical land. It was all normal until Diplo discovered that some particular people weren't at CDEP for some damn cheeseburgers... or fries... or even drinks... miraculous. Perhaps they just wanted air to consume... perhaps they were plant people... or perhaps...

It was a usual day at the restaurant. The summer air was a steady seventy degrees Fahrenheit. The kitchen crew was rushing around to prepare orders. Diplo was stuck as the drive-thru cashier. He didn't mind, however; in fact, he loved the job.

"Hello! Good evening!" he cheerily spoke over the headset. A white van had pulled up to one of the drive-thru speakers. Silence met his greeting.

Thinking his headset had messed up, Diplo pressed a button twice and spoke again. "What can I get for you today?" he asked this time, seeing if they would respond... but they didn't. Instead, they pulled around behind a waiting vehicle, much to Diplo's confused curiosity. Perhaps the kitchen crew had gotten an order wrong at some point and the occupants of the van were coming back to right it. So the concerned Diplo waited until they had arrived at his window.

He opened the window with a raised eyebrow, a question ready at his lips, but before any words could escape from his mouth, the woman driving the van, dressed in a fine purple suit, reached a black envelope through the window.

Diplo was hopelessly confused as he took it. "I... thank you, ma'am?" he stammered, looking at the envelope and then at her, "What's this for?"

The woman merely nodded to him, before driving off, leaving a bewildered Diplo with an unmarked card in his hand.

Any rational person would've simply thrown the envelope away, to avoid having been blackmailed. But this was Diplo, and he was working a thankless job. What did he have to lose? He looked around for a moment before tearing the envelope open and pulling out the contents... it was an invitational card. It was made of a fine, silky paper, a deep purple with gold filaments around the sides. All it had was a phone number in the bottom half... and the US Seal in the top half. He closed the card and slipped it into his pocket, but his curiosity had been piqued.

"So wait..." Twilight had interrupted his story, looking up at him, pausing her writing, "You're telling me that you accepted an unmarked letter of some kind from somepony you didn't even know and who didn't even address you?"

"Well yeah," Diplo replied with a nod,"For all I know, they're just doing a job too, and I thought they needed me for something important! Would've been a change from my shitty job anyways... can I finish my story?"

"That was horribly foolish, Diplo. If you simply kept your muzzle out of it, you wouldn't have ended up in Equestria and this whole situation could've been avoided!" Twilight exclaimed, throwing her notebook down.

"Yeah, yeah, save the ridicule for later," Diplo mumbled, rubbing the back of his head and looking off to the side.

Twilight sighed and picked her notebook up again, dipping the pen in ink and returning it to the paper. "Go on."

When Diplo's shift had ended, he drove home and headed up to his room. He then sat at his desk and took the envelope out of his pocket. This odd letter had become of utmost importance to him, simply because he didn't know anything about it. He opened the letter again and simply stared at it for a moment.

"This doesn't make any sense," he muttered, taking off his restaurant visor and setting it on the desk next to him. He then put his elbows on his desk and rested his head in his hands, massaging his temples. He then looked at the number listed and decided to call it. Perhaps whoever answered would have an explanation.

He then sat up and whipped out his cellphone from his pocket, dialing the number and putting it up to his ear, resting his head on his other hand.

The number's owner picked up surprisingly quickly. "I'm surprised you actually called, Mr. Mattus," the voice said. It sounded female.

"Alright, this just got super awkward and I haven't even said hello yet," Diplo stated, looking nervously around his room.

"It's expected," the voice replied, "We have to ensure discretion here, so we take care to gather as much information as we can before inviting anyone."

"That's cool and all, but you see... I don't know what's going on, but you seem to. What am I being 'invited' to? Who even ARE you? Can I PLEASE have some insight?" Diplo asked, putting his hand over his eyes.

"You may," the voice replied, "We work for the government."

"Well, no shit. I gathered from the fact that this card had the freakin' US Seal on it," Diplo replied, raising an eyebrow though he kept his eyes covered.

"That it does. I was the woman who gave you the card through the window. I did not stop to speak to you simply because it would've attracted attention," the voice continued.

"You driving off was equally curious," Diplo said, "I work at a fast food place... you should know this. If any customer... well... 'customer' drives off suddenly, it's usually because we didn't do something right so we have to-"

The voice interrupted him. "I'm well aware of how a fast food restaurant works. Spare me the details. You were just doing your job, acting natural. That's what I wanted to see and hear... that's why you were invited to our meeting."

"Woah, there's a meeting now? Hold on, I didn't sign up for suits and ties and sitting around for hours on end listening to some idiot ramble," Diplo replied, removing his hand from his eyes and laying it on his desk.

"It's far more interesting than that, Mr. Mattus," the voice replied, "You won't have to dress up; we are not making that a requirement. I do think you'll find what we have to show you to be quite fascinating."

"The only thing that's fascinating is how creeped out I am right now," Diplo replied. He then banged his fist on his desk. "I never get creeped out!"

The voice merely lets out a soft chuckle. "It's not the worst reaction we've gotten, so it's perfectly alright. You may refer to me as Senator Ruth if it comforts you to have a name."

"It does... a little bit..." Diplo murmured, resting his head in his hand again and clenching his hair.

"Excellent," came the reply, "So I take it you'll be ready for us in the morning?"

"Wait, the morning? But I still-" Diplo started, sitting up.

"Excellent. We'll be at your house at 7 AM sharp," Ruth stated.

"Let me fin-" Diplo started again, but Ruth hung up on him. Diplo stared at his wall and dropped his phone onto his desk. "What the hell did I get myself into...?" he mumbled.

"You got yourself into quite a bit of trouble, I'm assuming?" Twilight interrupted his story again, reading through what she had written down. "So far, all this seems like is that you were ignorant to possible risks and now you're facing the consequences of your actions."

Diplo looked at her dully. "Right, I know I was stupid. You don't have to remind me."

"I'm not calling you stupid," Twilight said with a soft frown, tapping her notepad with the feathered part of her pen, "I'm just giving my analysis of your situation as you're describing it."

Diplo merely grunted, his ears drooping. "Anyways..."

The next morning, Diplo awoke to find himself riding in the back of a brightly lit, windowless van. It wasn't unlike a prison van, there was a small windowed portion in front of him that gave a view to the front seats. The doors to the back of the van were shut and most likely locked. He sat up abruptly and looked around, startled.

"Well, this definitely isn't my bed..." He mumbled as he took in his surroundings. There wasn't much to the van. It was clearly moving; he could feel the bumps of the road beneath him. Looking around, he saw that there were other people in there with him. Some of them were still slumped over, sleeping soundly. Others were waking up as well, blinking dumbly in the light. All of them were dressed in special white uniforms, full-bodied and lacking in pockets. Each had a number on the chest; Diplo's number was 18. Suddenly he felt quite violated... they had undressed and changed him without his consent. Looking down, he realized that he was harnessed to the seat; he also realized that this harness was locked; he couldn't get up.

"The fuck?" another one of the people mumbled, Diplo turned his attention and focused it on the one who had spoken. It was an older, chubbier gentleman across from him. He had a bald head and a brown beard that came about halfway down his chest. He was squinting at Diplo with piercing, green eyes.

Diplo merely raised an eyebrow, moving his arms and folding them across his chest.

"Of all the people I expect to see here..." the man grunted, "A young-un is the last one I'd expect to see in this position."

"Is... that so?" Diplo queried.

"YES!" he shouted suddenly, waking the other passengers, who sat up quietly and looked at the bearded man with judging stares. The man then started laughing.

Diplo merely stared at the man with a befuddled expression.

"Welcome aboard the government express!" the man laughed, slapping his thigh, "Choo choo, brother!"

"This is a van, you fat idiot," one of the other men, replied gruffly. He was a scrawny fellow, with a small mustache, pale skin and fuzzy black hair.

"Nobody asked you, you mini chicken nugget-looking fool," the bearded man retorted.

"Hey, whatchu say, lumberjackass?!" Chicken Nugget demanded, turning in his seat and glaring over at the bearded man.

"Quick change of subject before things get nasty... I actually don't know why I'm here," Diplo stated quietly.

"Well ya got the envelope, didn't ya?" the bearded man asked.

Diplo nodded.

"Hey! I'm talking to you!" Chicken Nugget shouted, only to be ignored.

"And ya called the lady, didn't ya?" The man smiled.

Diplo nodded again.

"Gaaahhh!" Chicken Nugget groaned, turning away and laying his head against the wall.

"So why are you asking why you're here?" the man chuckled, shaking his head, "you're here because you took an interest and the government willed it."

"Then why are YOU here?" Diplo squinted at the man, "you don't seem all too happy to be here... none of you do actually."

The man grunted and laid back, looking at Diplo. "It's a switch-up from the norm. I'm a fat idiot that looks like Santa; I don't have much a thrilling life. To have the government reach out to me via mail without a message is something new for a change. Heh, I can say you look surprised to be here too."

"Well, I definitely wasn't expecting a road trip..." Diplo muttered, folding his hands in his lap. "Where are we even going?"

"Why are you asking me?" the man retorted, "Do you really think I'm Santa and I know this shit?"

"No, but I might start calling you that now," Diplo scoffed.

"Fair enough," the man (whom shall presumably be known as "Santa" from here on out) pondered.

Diplo looked at the other passengers, who had sat in silence and listened to their conversation. He could tell they didn't really feel like speaking at all. He saw it best to leave them alone. The van jerked slightly, an indication it had stopped.

Diplo looked towards the back of the van, the shut doors, in expectation.

Sure enough, a moment later, they were opened, the bright morning sun emanated from the outdoors and into the van. The view indicated that they were at an airport; runways could be seen, with their markers. Even a plane or two could be sighted if one strained their eyes enough. Two well-dressed but tough-looking men stood at each door of the van, at attention.

"Good morning, gentleman," a familiar female voice rang out. The same woman Diplo saw the day before walked around the van and stood at the open doors, hands behind her back. She was dressed in a scarlet suit, with a black tie, and she wore a pair of sunglasses over her sharp gray eyes. Her jet black hair was tied up in a bun, and her small lips wore scarlet lipstick to match her suit.

"Senator Ruth..." Diplo mumbled, gazing at her and instinctively clenching his fist. She carried a cold air about her that he hadn't realized before. "And I thought I'd never meet any senator so long as I lived."

"Long faces and no responses?" Ruth smiled gently at the men.

"Well, Ruth, m'lady," Santa spoke up, "You essentially kidnapped us without warning. I ain't gonna be a very jolly Santa, and these men ain't gonna be very jolly elves."

The rest of the passengers stared at her quietly. Diplo began wondering if they were all mute.

"I do apologize," Ruth nodded, "But discretion is of utmost importance. What we selected you for is something that we don't want the public knowing about until it turns out successful."

"Hey, that seems a little suspicious there, ya fancy government chick. I came on the promise we were gettin' paid a good bit for this shit," one of the other passengers spoke up.

The others nodded, replying with their own little agreements.

"You will be, quite handsomely too," Ruth stated. Diplo almost admired her patience. "All we need is your cooperation." With that, she removed one of her hands from behind her back, holding up what appeared to be a remote. Behind her, a black military jet slowly rolled to a stop on the runway, a door on the side opening. A ramp extends down from the door and settles gently on the ground. Ruth then pressed a button on the remote, the noises of several clicks could be heard, the harnesses binding the men to their seats came unlocked and drew back, allowing them to get up.

Everyone in the vehicle, including Santa, stared at her inquisitively. None of them dared to get up and attempt running; it was too easy.

"Everyone come along now... single-file," Ruth instructed.

Diplo stood up with the rest of the men. He stretched, feeling his back pop. It did feel good to stand up after being in an uncomfortable sleeping position, followed by sitting for what seemed like a long ride.

The men grumbled softly among themselves, conversations Diplo couldn't make out as they got into a single-file line. Diplo followed suit, getting in the back, and grabbing his left wrist nervously with his right hand. The men slowly proceeded to walk out of the van and up the ramp onto the plane, Ruth watching them carefully. Diplo noticed they went rigid when they stepped out of the van and walked more quickly. He saw why as he stepped out; several armed men in body armor and official US colors stood outside the van. Each had assault rifles at the ready. These were men of the army, decked out like they were going to war, and Diplo found himself feeling like a prisoner of such. He could feel the eyes of each of the armed men on him. He shivered as he walked up the ramp to the plane, Ruth followed behind him, standing straight with her hands behind her back and her chin up, along with several of the armed men. They walked into the plane and off to the right, into a small passenger chamber, also windowless, of course, and brightly lit, like the van.

"Sit down in your assigned seats. Each seat has a number on it... Your seat will have the same number that's on your uniform... pure and simple," Ruth stated coldly, sounding almost robotic as she gazed at them. She paused at the entrance to the chamber as the rest of the men filed in. The men that were standing outside of the van stood next to Ruth to ensure that nobody attempted an escape. Diplo assumed they were her bodyguards.

The men obey quietly, shuffling around in the chamber and finding their seats. Diplo's seat was against the wall, he sat down and remained still, facing forward. He didn't recall a time when he felt so scared and confused. A soft beep could be heard as straps, similar to the ones in the van, came out of the seats and harnessed everyone so they couldn't get up.

"Hey, Ruth," Santa grunted.

Ruth raised an eyebrow, looking at him. "Yes?"

"Where we headed? You ain't told any of us that," Santa replied, looking back at her to the best of his ability.

Diplo turned as well, he was curious, but the other men faced forward.

"A facility near the White House," Ruth stated, returning his gaze calmly.

"What kinda facility? What for?" Santa queried, "Details, ma'am. I need em."

"A special project I've been running," Ruth smiled.

Something about her smile comforted Diplo, and he turned back around and relaxed.

"Go on," Santa grunted. Turning his head around was difficult for him.

"Interdimensional Travel. We're attempting to explore realities... that aren't our own. There's a theory circulating among our top scientists that our reality isn't the only one. It's believed to be that there exist some that haven't been discovered yet. So over the past few months, these scientists of ours have been working hard... they've been finding, theorizing, building, learning... exploring. They're doing their jobs... and they've successfully created what they believe is a functional portal," Ruth explained, beginning to walk up and down the center aisle of the chamber slowly.

The men, including Diplo, watch her quietly, listening. The quiet roar of the plane's engine could be heard outside; they had lifted off and were on their way.

Ruth looked around as she walked, making sure all eyes were on her before continuing. "Where you come in is simple... we need people to test these portals for us. That's the task we have for all of you. The numbers on your uniforms... are your subject numbers. For instance..." With that, she walked over to Santa and laid her hand gently on his shoulder.

Santa looked up at her with a confused expression.

"This gentleman right here would be referred to as subject 27," Ruth said, removing her hand from Santa's shoulder and continuing to march up and down the aisle, "Mice don't make suitable test subjects for a big project like this. Sure they're living beings and can experience a world... but they can't tell stories and all the little bastards will do is scamper off, never to be found again. That is... if they don't get fried by the energy a portal could generate."

Diplo shuddered at how calmly she was explaining this. He began to wonder what in the world... or out of the world... he was in for.

"I'll get this out of the way in case any of you are curious... we don't know if you'll be coming back," Ruth stated, "We can only expect the worst and hope for the best. We hope that each subject will come back safely with a story to tell... but should they never return... condolences will be sent to any immediate family or friends."

"Now that's a whole other level of fucked up," Chicken Nugget grunted, looking back at Ruth, "You gotta make sure we at least survive the shit if we can expect pay for it!"

"Should you listen to us and survive the tests and whatever reality you end up in... you will be paid quite a sum," ruth replied, calmly gazing at him.

"Well, how much?" Chicken Nugget asked quickly.

"A stable ten million dollars at least," Ruth replied, equally quickly.

"Well damn..." Chicken Nugget muttered, facing forward again.

"Do with this information what you will. We'll be at our destination before you know it," Ruth said, turning and walking out of the chamber, hands behind her back. Her bodyguards follow her, one of them shuts the door behind them.

Diplo looked at the floor of the plane, listening to the men begin to talk among themselves about what they had just learned.

The conversation was short-lived, however, as a sweet smell filled the air. Diplo noticed that it made him quite drowsy, he looked around and noticed that the other men were nodding off as well, looking equally confused. They were being gassed to sleep. This realization hit Diplo as he passed out.

"So they didn't use any kind of spell to put you to sleep... but a gas? I'm so confused..." Twilight said, looking up at Diplo with a befuddled expression, pausing her writing. She may as well have written an entire encyclopedia with how many pages she had scrawled on.

"Well... no... because where I come from, magic doesn't exist," Diplo replied simply, looking at her, "Neither do talking Alicorns... or weird monarchies with four princesses and no queen or king... This place is all literally the stuff of fairy tales."

Twilight frowned, lowering her notebook. "Well... so far this all seems very anti-climactic... except for the part about the portal... and why in the world are you calling one of these subjects Chicken Nugget? Don't you all have actual names?"

"Well the name just stuck, okay? And I like chicken nuggets... they're delicious..." Diplo muttered, looking off to the side.

Twilight sighed and shook her head, raising her notebook again. "Please... go on."

When Diplo woke up, he was in a room this time... a small, plain room. The first thing he noticed is that he was on a soft mattress with a thick, gray blanket, laying on his back and looking up at a bright light. He sat up and took in his surroundings. This had a window near the ceiling, evidently where people could watch him. It also had white walls, a door that led to a small, plain bathroom. There was a nightstand on each side of the bed, and a magnetically locked, stainless steel door that led to the outside.

"Good morning, subject 18," A male voice greeted him, startling him.

Diplo looked up at the window and saw that a younger man in a white lab coat with a slight tan, with spiky brown hair and brown eyes, was looking down at him.

"Good morning?" Diplo asked, "I slept through the night?"

"Precisely," the man replied, "the effects of the harmless gas you were given last 16 hours."

"Well, that's good to know..." Diplo muttered.

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dr. Alfred Hedgeh," he stated, smiling softly as his name appeared holographically in the window.

"Alfred... Hedgeh...?" Diplo snickered.

"Yes, Alfred Hedgeh," Alfred replied with a nod.

"Alright, Dr. Alfred Hedgehog, what's your plan for today?" Diplo smiled.

"Ghh... Not Hedgehog... Hedgeh..." Alfred grunted, frowning and crossing his arms.

"Sorry, bud. You're talking to someone with a sense of humor and your name reminds me of a show I watched as a kid," Diplo chuckled, crossing his arms as well and gazing up at Alfred.

"Right... I suppose whatever suits you is fine with me, so long as-" Alfred began

"Plus you LOOK like a hedgehog!" Diplo shouted, pointing at Alfred.

Alfred sighed and put his hand over his eyes. "So long as you're willing to LISTEN... we should be just fine. Don't get hedgehog stuck in your head... I'm going to have you thinking about much more shortly..."

"Oh, you amuse me..." Diplo chuckled, walking around in a small circle before spreading his arms out and facing Alfred. "...HOW?"

Alfred smiled and walked away from the window. Then one of the locked doors opened in Diplo's cell, and Alfred steps into it, followed by a suited, burly bodyguard. Alfred walks over to Diplo, slipping one hand into his lab coat pocket. His nametag glinted in the light of the cell.

"Well... as a member of the fast food industry, I think you should really find it quite simple to understand," Alfred said, laying his other hand gently on Diplo's shoulder.

Diplo merely stared at Alfred, not daring to attempt fighting him. Sure he could kick Alfred's ass, but the possible repercussions of such actions seemed too much.

Alfred removed his hand from Diplo's shoulder, then his other hand from his pocket, he clasped them together. "I'm just doing a job, subject 18... but in order for this job to be a success... I'm going to need your cooperation. Teamwork, if you will." He then unclasped his hands and turned around, wrapping an arm around Diplo's shoulders, grabbing his left shoulder and extending his right hand in front of him. "The difference here, however, is that we're not working together to fill bellies with cheap, chemical-laced meat. We're working together on a much, much larger scale. We're talking about entire possible worlds here, subject 18, universes!"

"Yeah, what's so interesting about that?" Diplo asked shortly, looking over at Alfred. He wasn't too terribly fond of Dr. Hedgehog being all buddy-buddy with him.

"What's interesting is that no other country has looked into such possibilities. The USA is the first!" Alfred smiled.

"Look... I don't understand the half of what you're saying," Diplo replied, gently pushing Alfred's hand off his shoulder and stepping back with a confused expression, "I work at CDEP, dude. You want me to answer questions about how I feel customer service is conducted? Yeah, I can answer em. Do you want to know how to make our products? I can probably answer that too. Management? Sure, I can share my opinions. But all this talk about other dimensions is the stuff of fairy tales and... and children's series!"

Alfred raised a hand to his chin and scratched it gently, deep in thought, like a logician contemplating the point of a bread sandwich.

Diplo held his hands up in the air, raising his eyebrows. "It just makes no sense, man. I'm glad you're all excited about it, and I wanna share your excitement too. The difference between you and I, though, is that I'm no science major, so I don't find this that... 'fascinating.'"

"Then look at it like this," Alfred said, removing his hand from his chin and pointing a finger at Diplo, "Suppose that... your manager walked up to you right now and said 'hey... I'm going to give you access to management powers, as well as the manager's power in other stores like your own...' What would be your thought process?"

Diplo chuckled and let his hands drop to his sides. "It's about damn time I got a promotion. That would be my reaction," he smiled.

"But you would take such an opportunity, wouldn't you?" Alfred asked.

"Any idiot would," Diplo replied, folding his arms across his chest, "Basically that means a bunch of people are at my mercy and I'm making a shitload of money."

"Precisely, subject 18," Alfred smiled, tapping Diplo's shoulder.

"Don't touch me..." Diplo grunted, brushing his shoulder off.

"Now here, instead of managers, it's our government, and instead of control over a few stores and their employees... it's potentially other countries wanting to get a piece of the action," Alfred said with a smile, stepping back and cracking his knuckles, "This is real power. That's what you're toying with here. Does that make sense?"

Now it most certainly did. Diplo found himself staring off into space, thinking about such a possibility. He remembered having fantasies of the like as a younger child, but the thought never occurred to him that this could happen at his age.

"So what say you?" Alfred smiled, pressing his thumbs together, "Are you willing to cooperate?"

"I hope you realize that you really sound like a villain here," Twilight glared at Diplo, pausing her writing.

"Well I did tell you I wasn't really a nice guy," Diplo said, folding his hooves across his chest and frowning, "What part of that went over your head?"

"This just means I'll have to get you out of the mindset that neither I nor any of the other princesses would allow you to 'collect data' on Equestria. Nor will I allow your friends to take over our land!" Twilight exclaimed, pointing her quill at Diplo.

"Hold up, my FRIENDS?!" Diplo growled, baring his teeth slightly and leaning forward, staring Twilight dead in the eye, "Those nutty-but-not-tasty-like-nuts scientists are NOT... my friends! I don't even WANT to take over this stupid place! Even if I did... I don't even know HOW to go about doing so!"

Diplo's sudden outburst caught Twilight off guard, and she lowered her quill back to her notebook, looking taken aback.

Diplo pointed a hoof at her nose. "So before YOU go and start throwing around crazy accusations like you're some sort of no-shit-Sherlock, maybe you should LISTEN to ME while I TELL YOU HOW THINGS WENT!" he exclaimed, stamping his forehooves on the ground, "I didn't come here to be yelled at, I didn't come here to be ridiculed, hell I didn't even come here because I wanted to!" After that, Diplo stopped yelling and calmed down for a minute.

"Are you done?" Twilight asked with a soft sigh, looking at him.

"Yeah, yeah..." Diplo replied, nodding his head from side to side, then looking at the ground, "Part of this is experience is my fault anyway. I should've been a little nicer to you. It ain't even your fault that I'm here... I've just... had a frustrating few days is all."

"I understand, Diplo," Twilight stated, starting to write again, "It doesn't give you an excuse to act so belligerent towards me."

"Right... right..." Diplo muttered, dragging a hoof across his face and setting it on the ground.

"Are you almost finished, at least?" Twilight asked, tapping her quill against her notebook, "I would like for it to still be daytime by the time your story ends."

"Yeah, I'm almost finished..." Diplo nodded, looking up and opening his mouth.

"Do make it quick. I want to at least teach you how to WALK here," Twilight grunted, raising her notebook and quill again.

"What about run?" Diplo asked, perking up.

"Later, when I can trust that you WON'T attempt to run from ME," Twilight stated, "You can't run if you can't even walk..."

"Yeah... fair enough," Diplo nodded, looking off to the side.

The next day, Diplo found himself grouped up with the other subjects, in a rather large and impressive laboratory. They had been ordered to head there by their respective scientists. Computers and monitors hung about the walls, with the US seal on each one, indicating that they hadn't been started yet. Stainless steel desks were spread about the room, each one had a large computer system hooked up on it, a few of the scientists were already typing away. In the center of the room stood an ominous-looking arch. It was sleek in design and had several wires coming out of the top and the sides, some of which went into the ground, and could be seen trailing to two of the desks. They looked to be primary controls. Each of those desks had a heavy glass shield of sorts around them as if they were expecting an explosion. A small monitor stood next to the portal, fixed into the floor of the room, with a small keypad and what looked to be an armored laptop set up on it. The men stared around the room, not quite sure what to make of all of it. Diplo felt like one of those mice that Ruth had mentioned two days before.

"Good morning, gentlemen!" Ruth's voice startled half the men as she walked through the heavy steel doors that led into the lab, with her two bodyguards. She sounded awfully cheery about sending these men to their potential deaths.

Behind her, a bunch of scientists, including Alfred, flood in behind her. The other scientists looked a little older, and half of them wore glasses. Alfred approached Ruth.

Ruth looked over at him, folding her arms and raising her eyebrow. "Is something the matter, Alfred Hedge..." she looked at his nametag, "...hog. Care to explain?"

"HE LOOKS LIKE ONE!" Diplo yelled from the crowd, causing the other men to turn and stare at him like he was a lunatic.

Alfred grunted and stared at Ruth dully. "I want him to go first. That's what's wrong."

Ruth chuckled softly. "Has he been giving you a hard time?"

"Quite... he keeps comparing me to a little spiny mammal," Alfred sighed, looking over at Diplo, "But going along with it was the only thing I could do to get him to cooperate. I even altered my nametag for him."

"Nice to see you'd go to such lengths to ensure our subjects stay willing to cooperate. That's good on you, Alfred. Perhaps we can change it back once we're through with this," Ruth smiled.

"That would be lovely, thank you," Alfred nodded, turning and walking towards the large portal frame, his hands behind his back.

Ruth smiled and turned towards the men. "Subject 18! Please come forward," she called out.

The men immediately separated and pushed Diplo forward. None of them were too eager to go through this experiment.

Diplo let out a small grunt and looked back at them. "Gee, thanks, guys."

"You're welcome!" Chicken Nugget said simply, "don't die!"

Diplo shook his head and walked over to Senator Ruth. "Yes... ma'am?" he inquired, looking up at her dully.

Ruth smiled gently at him, folding her hands in front of her. "Upon request, you're going to be our first subject today."

"I was right there and heard everything," Diplo stated, pointing back at the group of men.

"I know you were, I was just making sure you were paying attention, Subject 18," Ruth replied, "Now come." With that, she began walking towards the portal as Alfred started typing on the monitor next to it.

Diplo quietly followed behind, more irritated than afraid.

Alfred finished typing on the monitor and tapped a few times on the keypad, he then pressed a blue button above the keypad, and a soft whirring sound filled the air. The portal began to spark and light up a bright blue on the inside of the frame. The whirring increased in pitch until there was a bright flash, accompanied by a noise that sounded not unlike a crack of thunder. Everyone shielded their eyes until the bright light fade, and there the portal stood. The inside of the frame was lit up with a bright blue, and it looked quite watery, but it was transparent. A soft but eerie howling noise was coming from it. Alfred's hair was waving as if there were massive amounts of energy coming from the portal, and he took a few steps back and folded his hands behind his back, nodding to the senator.

"Well, Subject 18," Ruth smiled, "Don't hesitate. We would like to see if this works."

"Well if I come back looking like a thick, radioactive, sentient pancake without the syrup, I'll know who to thank," Diplo grunted as he lowered his head and walked forward, feeling the pressure of several pairs of eyes watching him.

Diplo stepped up to the metal platform leading up to the portal. He felt it then, the portal seemed to be emitting an energy that made his skin tingle, and that rippled gently across his hair. He heard an eerie howling coming from it as if a strong wind resided within its blue watery depths, but he could feel no such wind. He didn't get to feel the situation for long, though, Alfred stepped behind him and pressed a hand against his back, shoving him through. There was an incredibly bright flash, causing the other subjects and a few of the scientists to shield their eyes. The flash was followed by a loud, pulsing crack of thunder, which made the walls of the room and the monitors and desks shake.

Ruth stared quietly ahead, however, holding a hand above her eyes and squinting.

The subjects slowly uncover their eyes as the brightness faded, and gawk at what they saw.

Diplo was gone.

Senator Ruth slowly lowered her hand and folded her hands behind her back.

Chicken Nugget farted.

A heavy, awed silence hung about the room for a while, while the portal still stood, active, waiting for its next participant.

Ruth smiled softly as she turned to face the other subjects. "Alright, who's next?"

Diplo found himself in what appeared to be a white abyss, nothing around him, under him, or above him. He could almost feel the fabrics of reality tearing around him, he also realized he was moving... quite quickly too. He began to panic and tried to yell, but no noise of his could be heard. Suddenly all went black, around him, then there was another bright flash, and he found himself hurtling towards the ground in a colorful land unfamiliar to him. He didn't get to see too much of this colorful place before he collided with the ground, skidded a few feet, and passed out.

"And THAT'S... how I got here!" Diplo declared, throwing his forehooves out to the side with a small grin, "And when I woke my ass up, you found me, naked and alone."

"I see, Diplo," Twilight declared, setting her pen on the ground and beginning to look through her multiple pages of notes, "So to sum it up, you took a letter during your job, called someone, they kidnapped you, then they used you as a test subject to shove into an alternate reality against your will, correct?"

"Precisely," Diplo smiled, setting his hooves down and nodding.

"How exactly do you plan to get back?" Twilight queried, looking up at him with a curious expression.

Diplo merely shrugged. "Hell if I know. I haven't seen a portal appear out of thin air yet, so I don't really have a way of knowing. I have no way to contact anyone either. I can't do a rain dance to summon my fellow people, as nice as that would be."

"I'm positive it would be nice to head back home, Diplo. But from what you're saying, it seems that you're stuck here." Twilight nodded, teleporting her notebook and pen away, and standing up.

"Absolutely!" Diplo nodded eagerly, eyes widening slightly, "How did you know?"

"With no way to get home, you're going to need shelter and food until you figure out how to get there?" Twilight continued, walking over to him.

"You don't say?" Diplo gasped, putting his forehooves to his head.

Twilight sighed, glaring at him dully as her ears drooped slightly. "I'm being serious, Diplo. You're going to have to get used to Equestria if you can expect to return home at all if in one piece."

"I know, I know..."Diplo muttered, looking off to the side, before perking his ears up and smiling, "Are you gonna teach me magic? Maybe I could be a mage! I've always wondered how they stuck rabbits in their hats without suffocating the thing."

"Diplo, you are an earth pony..." Twilight muttered, shaking her head and closing her eyes. Even though she could tell that Diplo was being purposely vague and talking about magic's stereotypes, she had to smile, "even if I wanted to, I couldn't teach you the magic I use."

"Aww... so I can't make things float with my face?" Diplo murmured, his ears drooping as he frowned softly, sticking out his lower lip.

"No, Diplo, you can't make things float with your face," Twilight replied.

"Aww poo..." Diplo muttered, before perking back up, "Welp! I'm not going anywhere... what do you suggest, princess?"

Twilight smiled and walked around him, sitting next to him and patting his back. "I suggest right now that we get you up on your hooves and learning to walk."

Diplo looked at her with a confused expression. "Well then... you got friendly."

Twilight ignored him as her horn glowed, and she lifted him up onto his hooves.

"I suppose I could teach you through a song to start you off," Twilight smiled softly, before breaking out into a song, "You put one hoof... in front of the other-"

"Okay, that's gonna stop right there, princess," Diplo grunted, pointing at her with one of his hooves, "I'm not strutting any of my butt duster listening to that!"

Twilight let out a small giggle, putting her hoof over her eyes. "You're not an auditory learner?"

"I don't know what that means, but nah, not really," Diplo replied, setting his hoof down with a straight face.

"Ah, I see... perhaps you'd like the visual tutorial?" Twilight asked him. She stood up again. She then proceeded to walk around in a circle in front of him. "It's easy, Diplo. Front right forward, back left forward, front left forward, back right forward."

Diplo watched her quietly, before perking his ears up. "Ah! So just like a baby crawling!"

He then began trying to imitate her. He put his two forehooves in front of him and fell onto his belly with a grunt.

Twilight smiled at him. "I don't think that's how babies crawl. You'll get it, just keep trying." she paused her walking and looked back at him.

Diplo grunted and stood back up shakily. He really did feel like a baby of some kind, learning how to walk in a new world.

"Aw, come on, Diplo. You'll never get it if you act like that," Twilight smiled. She was almost amused now; she wasn't sure if she had seen a full-grown stallion struggling to learn how to walk. The way Diplo was attempting it made him look like a retarded monkey. Twilight continued to walk around in a circle, showing him again.

Diplo grew flustered and continued attempting to imitate her, slowly. Step by step he was getting it, but hooves were different from human feet and he didn't know how to operate four of them. Hell, he had trouble operating two at times.

Twilight began to hum, closing her eyes as she continued to strut around in her little circle. She was actually feeling rather grand after getting Diplo to attempt to walk, especially after the mental bore he put her through. She didn't notice him go strangely quiet. "Like I said, Diplo... it's not so hard, not at all." She opened her eyes. "I promise that..."

Diplo was gone.

Twilight blinked, her confident grin starting to look more stupid and nervous as her eyes widened. She stopped short. "Diplo...?" She quickly darted her gaze towards the door to the library, turning to face it.

It was wide open.

Twilight flopped onto her butt, staring at it with a nervous grin. "O-oh Celestia..." she stammered, "What have I gotten myself into...?"

Well shit.

--To be continued--