Zecora's Excellent Adventure

by neorenamon

Honey Bee grumbled as she brought in a large bowl of Quaker Oatmeal to Zecora. She was still effectively pinned by all the orphans who just wouldn't let the adorable little zebra alone for three seconds. The child on her back had both hands gripping her mane in a somewhat annoying way.

She put the bowl on the floor before her which caused Zecora to blink.

"Are you sure you are not able," she asked, "to place this on a proper table?"

"Table?!" snorted Honey, "Does this look like the Ritz Carlton to you?!"

She leaned down to sniff the bowl before her, blow on it a few times, and then sampled a bite of it.

"This is a bit of a bland stew," she muttered, "but I imagine this will for the moment do."

"Glad you approve there, Martha Stewart," replied the woman as she stalked off.

"Don't mind Miss Honey Bee," said one of the orphans, "She's a snarky bitch."

"I'm not sure if I know a lot," she replied, "but a female dog Miss Honey is not."

"Oh, bitch got a whole lotta meanings, Miss Zecora. A whole messa them."

"You are poor as I can tell," she mused, "so you cannot afford spoons as well?"

"Spoons? How can ya use a spoon without no hands?"

"If you'd fetch a spoon for me, then you would surely see," she replied with a wink.

A moment passed before a spoon was passed up and dropped down in the bowl. Much to their amazement, she touched the end of it with her hoof and it lifted up with a load of oatmeal. They watched it go into her mouth before she swallowed.

"I told ya she was some magic unicorn bitch!" said random child proudly.

"I tell you that I have no horn," she replied dryly, "so I cannot be any unicorn."

The children watched her eat enraptured. They watched her until the bowl was empty.

"Have you nothing better to do?" she asked mildly annoyed, "Is this such a treat for you?"

"This is like the most special day in our lives!" replied one.

"This is surely good to know," she sighed, "one's standards can be so low." She yawned before she added, "I do not wish to be a creep, but is there a place for me to sleep?"

"We got some spare room in the bedroom!" offered one of the orphans eagerly.

"If you have space to spare, could one of you take me there?"

They nodded as they led her down the hall. When they led her in, she noticed that in one corner was an occupied bed and its occupant had an ice pack on their forehead. She walked over to look them over.

"Don't get too close," said a child, "She all is sick."

Zecora looked at one of them as she asked, "I don't mean to be so formal, but is your temperature normal?"

"Hell yeah," she replied.

So Zecora stepped up and placed her tongue on their forehead causing her to giggle greatly. Then she moved the ice pack and did the same to their forehead.

"I am now a believer. This one has a fever."

"What? You some kinda bitchass horse doctor?"

"You should cease with the bitchin," she replied, "Take me to this place's kitchen. I think I know what I must do, but I don't need help from ALL of you."

"Take her to the kitchen there, Little Rodney King," offered one of them.

So she followed him down the hall, down the stairs and over to the kitchen area. Using her nose, she travelled about the place gathering food, herbs and seasonings that she slowly mixed together in a bowl. Finally, she told Radney to take the bowl back to the others while she followed behind.

"This medicine requires no warning," she announced, "It will make one better by the morning."

"Fer reals?!"

"This sickness needs some treatment now, but all she must do is eat it somehow."

She sat up and began eating.

"This ain't no medicine," she muttered, "It don't taste like shit."

"If there's some illness treated with shit," she replied, "then this is surely not one with it."

"She all means that medicine don't work unless it tastes bad," offered another child.

"There's nothing more than let her sleep," she replied, "Make no sound. Not a peep."

Then Zecora walked around looking for a place to lay down. They pointed to a bed across the way from the sick child's sleeping place, so she climbed up there and curled up. She found the noises the bed made odd.

"What kind of noise does this bed make?" she asked, "Is this bed some kind of noisy fake?"

"What? Ya never slept on a spring mattress before?"

She shook her head 'no'. "I guess this will be alright," she replied, "so I bid you all goodnight."

...

A FEW HOURS LATER

...

Black Dynamite stopped by to see how the orphans were doing before he went off to do some... stuff... with the whores. He blinked as he saw a rather small zebra in one of the beds with five of the orphans sleeping on or around them.

"Someone has some mutherfuckin' splainin' to do... And by someone, I mean Honey Bee," he muttered under his breath before he went over to check on the sick girl. He put the back of his hand to her forehead and added, "Well at least the goddamn fever is broken. I guess she's gonna git a whole lot better now."

Looking at the zebra, he wondered where all the brass rings came from.

He sighed as he walked out adding, "There better not be any goddamn horsey shit around here..."