Author's Note

Have you ever took some sort of sick enjoyment from fics like "My Immortal?"

This is my attempt at one of those.

Pony-Mortal (Mature)

You wake up You are Anon But you don;'t klike to be called thgat any more. You like to be called Shadow because it's 20% cooler.gay dildos

Awwww yeah. Was that funny guys?

You get out of bed at 8:10 because screw waking up when the alarm goes off.

You put on your blackest shirt and dark black and red pants with chains on them that your mom doesn't like that you wear but you like to wear anyway because they make you look cool and swim in the pussy.

You put on shoes and go into the bathroom and shower and brush your teeth because you mom always knows when you don't it's like she's magic or soemthing what thefuck.

After you admire how the way you look doesn't match the sad, burning hatred that you feel on the inside you go downstairs to say bye to your mom.

"Hi mom. Bye."

"Are you going to school?"

"Yes I'm going to school."

"You aren't lying to me are you."

"NO MOM I CAN'T LIE TO PONIES."

Yeah, my mom is a pony so what you got a problem with that I'll destroy you with my wooden katana I got from the anime convention downtown with my girlfriend.

"well okay I just asked because you havent been to class lately and I'm your teacher so."

"YOU AREN'T MY REAL MOM!"

Oh yeah, that's right. You are a human in a pony world, that's important too and stuff. That's a big spoiler is that Cheerilee isn't your real mom. Put the really sad scene here. You go outside leaving your fake pony mom crying like the little bitch she is and start to run oh yeah you are the Best runner ever just like your idol sonic the hedgehog. You start to run as fast as you can and you see your best friend Rainbow dash who you call Rainbro because it's coolest nickname ever.

"Hi Rainbow Dash!"

"Shadow you know I don't like to be called that anymore, call me by my real name."

"Oh yeah, sorry Greatest Fast Pony ever Miss Darkness Hooves."

"But just Darkness"

She decided that that name would be cooler after she painted her fur black and dyed her hair all whiote and stuff. It's cool because it made her even go faster, and so fast that they had to call her sonic Rain boom her sonic AWEESOMboom. She's pretty fast, but not as fast as you No not in a million years.

"I'll race you to Pony Topic!" she screams out loud just like her favorite band Blackveil Brides.

"OKAY!" you mimic and you both laugh hard.

She flys really really fast to the store that you always ditch school to go to and spend the money your mom gives you because you throw away the extra mountain dew bottles and wipe the cheeto dust off the keybioard when you are done with the computer because it made your dad mad and stuff. When she flys really really fast it makes a rainbow in the sky and you have to follow it So you race against rainbow dash but then you trip and you start rolling to the store and you can't stop going fast. You are rolling around at the speed of sound

Got places to go Gotta follow that Rainbow! (see what I did there guys isn't it so funny?) You push it to the limit and roll really really hard and you get into Hot topic and slam the door and rainbow runs into it really hard and it's funny but she didn't get hurt cause that would be bad and not funny at all. You open the door for her like a gentlemen like Your awesome friend Joe would do and he has two girlfriends but he cant decide which he wants but this is the story about Shadow becomes a hedgehog so I won't talk about that

Darkness walks through the door and Smiles at you saying thanks and you say your welcome m'lady because you are classsy as FUICK. The two of you walk to the vinyl album rack and laugh because who likes records anymore ami right guys? Thjen you find the most perfect shirt ever but its a whole extra dollar more than you have but Darkness doesn't have any money and even when you asked everypony (I have to use everypony because its a pony story) for a dollar nobody would give you one. They are all just jealous of your swagggy black and red chain pants that make your dick look really big.

But it's okay because that's when your girlfriend comes in and she looks all pretty and stuf but really pretty. It's Fluttershy. Who isn't a rapist because raping is really bad guys please no rape see im trying to tell you all that rape is bad WAKE UP SHEEPLE Fluttershy looks so super cute and stuuf because she dyed her mane and taill all blue and pets a lot of bunnies and has Angel bunny with her all the time but he doesn't like to be called angel any more he like to be called DEMON but he isn't really a demon but that bunny is super strong.But not aS STrong as you because you work out all the time with the weights you got for 5 bucks at the good will.

As soon as Fluttershy walks in you instandly take off your shit and show off your massive tattoo that you got with her face on it with the blue hair and she swoons which I don't know what that means but i know it isn't fainting because you shouldn't faint in a hot topic because you but cut your self on the edge f a belt or something (sorry I think that one got too long so i brought it down to this line)

She stands there with her demon and says Hi

"Hi"

Your heart goes all a flutter but not like fluttershy more just like beating really fast and fluttershy can't beat her wings really fast because she isn't fast but you are helping to teacher her to be fast bnecause she skip[s school too but she is still a straight A student WHO DOESN'T RAPE PONIES

"Hi"

You choke out as you flex your super amazing pecks and your 12 pack abs It's funny because it's kimnda like your favorite pokemon Absol and he is a dark type and stuff. "I got you this." fluttershy says and holds out her paw to you that has a wicked super awesome fedora with black and red CHAINS AND OH MY GOD ITS SO AWESOME

"Thanks bitch" you say trying to sound all cool because you refuse to associate with all those fedora neckbeard betafags

I bet they write stupid fanfiction about dragonball z or something I mean goku is cool and stuff but he is so last year but all of it is better than CUTE PONIES BEING RAPED

She runs up on all four paws and kisses you really hard and you get the biggest dick expansion and she feels it and goes

"Hi"

No wait

"Is that your big dick?"

"Yeah. That's my big dick."

"Can I touch your big dick?"

"I dunno. Darkness can Fluttershy use her paws to touch my big dick.

(Holy shit guys I have the biggest dick right now)

"I think so I mean I don't mind as long as you don't mind if I like it because I am not cisgendered like you guys."

"It's okay I respect your opinion even if you do like tumblr."

"This is why we are the best friend."

You kiss fluttershy on the lips and everypony in the place claps like seals and it's funny but I'm not going to make a retard joke becuase that would be mean to retarded people.

Thats when you feel her tongue in your mouth and you freak out because you never made out before and you say

"Hi. I THINK WE ARE GOING TO FAST IN THIS RELATIONSHIP"

"But you are the fastest!"

Then everyone gasps and begins to chant.

"You're too slow."

"You're too slow."

"You're too slow."

"You're too slow."

A chill runs through your bones as Darkness laughs at you. You run as fast as you can but Darkness catches you and takes hold of you. The blood in your veins freezes as black and white surrounds you, your face in the dirt. It grabs you by the hair and pulls, splintering pain screaming through your head. Forcefully, it smashes your face into the ground with all of it's might and you feel warmth run out and escape through your nose. You scream for help but it falls on deaf ears.

Your face becomes more and more broken and disjointed as her laughs echo in your ears The bones in your nose begin to meld into your skull as they begin to grind into a pulp. You stand in your bedroom, and the razor is on the bed Grab it you taste the metal by slashing it over your tongue and it slices into two clean pieces.

Blood pours out of your mouth as you descend the stairs to your crying mother You kick her in the face and she falls to the ground, begging for your help. Begging for death you oblige by slashing her throat. The red liquid floods onto the shag carpet that you played on as a child.

Her cries fill the room, but nobody will save her You smile and unzip your pants There is no hope. You will all die Repent You are nothing to me Failures, all of you