Marathon

AN:

Of course the 156 years are going to have their status set to at least "vaguely defined".

It's doubtful that you'd want to hear about every little thing Evan did.

There's no way I could write the style of this fic anywhere near as good as that one is.

And I promise to put in less AN's. There's a lot of them, sorry.

It's just a really nice way to put in tidbits that can't be part of the actual story OR in the story description.

If you have a better idea, please tell me. Seriously.

Rain.

More rain.

And yet more rain.

The clouds block out the sun and moon.

The pegasi don't control the weather out here.

There's thunder and lightning.

Such phenomena so familiar.

And yet they look different.

Evan could look directly at the powerful streams of energy.

You may think they look cool.

You have no idea.

Imagine that they didn't leave afterimages.

Imagine your eyes could see the stunning difference between the light and the dark.

Imagine your ears could hear the thundering roar with the harmonic frequencies far beyond a pitiful 20khz.

Imagine all the water dripping down over you.

Finally, imagine that there's nobody to tell you to go inside or stop lazing about.

Nobody.

Bittersweet solitude.

Evan sat there on a hill. It had been a month since he first came to Equestria. Quite a few more monsters had met their match in him. He was glad he kept the shovel. It made a highly effective melee weapon, which was good because otherwise he'd use far too much of his precious, expensive ammo. His mind was not currently on the subject of ammunition or even the fact that the prices on the TARDIS slowly changed over time, somewhat like a stock market. His mind was on Canterlot.

Oh, Canterlot. The current location of the dear and rather distraught Celestia. He assumed she was distraught anyways. Anyone (Anypony in this case) should be so after sending their sister to the moon. While there was no direct contact, there was plenty of indirect evidence. Such as the fact that the sun and moon both moved very erratically and a little bit too fast and jumpy.

Something had to be done, and yet Evan didn't really feel like answering questions about bananas. He was proverbially stuck on a fence. He had to come to a decision. A decision that could change his life and possibly the whole world. He had to choose the right one, consequences be double-hoof bucked by AJ and BM simultaneously.

He chose to sit there on the cliff and think positive thoughts at Celestia.

Ten seconds later with a loud CRACK and BOOM and a very loud but mental yelp, Evan got struck by lightning and fell off the cliff. About three seconds later he tried to eat the grass but found that his helmet did not have a mouthpiece. Evan was quite glad that he had shields, though they functioned rather oddly in what they did and did not block. He thought furiously "OWW! Okay okay okay I'm going! Whoever just hit me... oww. My shields are down again."

===A few inches to the up-right-diagonal-ish direction of reality===

"Sorry. I was getting bored. The poetic thoughts are nice and all, but Mr. Black promised me entertainment. Wait. Why am I talking to you? You can't even hear me..." said a pink pony. No, not that one. This one has a trollface cutie mark and a knife. And a fancy computer. VERY. FANCY. COMPUTER.

===Back to reality===

Still smoking slightly, Evan marched off to Canterlot to talk to the wonderful Alicorn of Canterlot. No, no yellow brick road. A brown dirt road with plenty of mud at the moment. While he walked, he checked the TARDIS prices again. As usual, there were little tiny changes in the prices of everything except the one thing he needed to get home. Of course. He flashbacked to the moment when he got to feel the fun way what thousands of volts across your entire body feels like. Specifically the fact that he still couldn't talk.

After a few minutes of thinking once more for solutions, he remembered that he forgot to close his TARDIS window. He was about to do so when he stopped. He could buy anything in the freaking multiverse. Time to feel the rush of being blatantly OP. After searching he found what he desired. A headset. This glorious hopefully voice granting piece of hardware cost 870m. A significant chunk of his now 7392m but definitely worth it. Generic Quests were useful but strange. He didn't like doing them, but the results were incredible. He was now a whole two millionths of the way there!

yay!

He purchased and carefully installed the device. Carefully switching to his upgraded guitar (extended psychic touch field sensors now instead of psychic buttons. Who knew?), he prepared a certain chord. What was heard next by the spartan, a few trees, an owl currently attempting to digest a mouse and a lone friendly Vashta Nerada, though none of them cared, was...

(•_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

Music to their ears.

"Sir, why are you levitating a tree branch?"

"I already told you! I'm invisible and holding the tree branch so ponies can see me."

"Listen, sir, you may not see the Princess. And you do not want to."

"What's the worst she'll do to me, send me to the moon?"

That one got an angry glare.

"Oh. Yeah. Right. Umm, look. I really want to talk to her anyways."

"I will not permit some crazy unicorn through."

"I'm not a unicorn. Do you see a TK field around the branch?"

"I do see the blur."

"Blur? What? Oh. Those are my invisible hands!"

"Egad! One of those human cultists! Begone!"

"Okay, now you've just made me mad. Forgive me, princess."

The branch was dropped and the Royal Guard was clobbered once solidly with Evan's trusty shovel. The guard's partner returned around the corner from his coltsroom break. He saw the unconscious stallion and the tree branch adjacent, and guessed a branch must have been blown by an unusually strong wind. He rolled his eyes and stood at attention while he waited for his compatriot to awaken. Little did he know the shenanigans that had and were about to occur.