A Darker Shade of Me

I want to die.

Sorry. My name is Darkstar.

I live in Canterlot. I’m twenty years old. I’m a pure white unicorn with a long grey mane and yellow eyes. My cutie mark is three black stars arranged in a triangle. I stand about five and a half foot tall. I’m slender. I want to die.

Now I’ve introduced myself, my therapist, Doctor Ruby Tuesday, says I should write this down. She says it’s good for me – for us – to write it out. We don’t know about that. We aren’t too sure. I want to be left alone. I want to die. We want to die. Ruby won’t leave me alone. Air Raid won’t leave me alone.

I’m never alone. She’s always with me. She talks to me in the mirror. She laughs at me. She taunts me. She haunts me when she’s awake. Even when she’s asleep, like now, I know she’s there. I can hear her dreams. All I want is to be left alone. She wants us to die.

I want us to die. I want her out of my head.

She wasn’t always there, in my head. There was a time when I was normal. There was a time when I didn’t have Darkie laughing at me, taunting me, haunting me, trying to kill me.

Doctor Tuesday says I should write down what happened. I don’t want to. I know thinking about it will wake her up and, I don’t want to wake Darkie up. I like Darkie when she’s asleep but, Doctor Tuesday says I should write down what happened while I am in control.

Who am I to argue if she says it’ll help? She’s the therapist.

Okay, here goes. Here’s how it started. I hadn’t long been nineteen. I remember that very clearly. I spent my birthday in Ponyville with my brother Brightstar and my friends Cyclone, Air Raid and Slingshot. But…anyway I’m digressing. I do that a lot. My mind wanders when I try and think straight.

My mind doesn’t like me doing that. It tries to stop me. It’s not easy mouth writing. I can’t use my magic to hold the pen, and my hooves shake. Even if there wasn’t a high level inhibitor locked on my horn, I couldn’t use it anyway. You see, the top two thirds were cut off and now I have no control.

It’s no fun making the walls bleed, or shattering every reflective surface because Darkie is laughing at me in my head, or levitating a knife to cut your fetlocks…okay, that’s a lie. The last one was and is a lot of fun. I like cutting myself. It makes Darkie very happy when we watch ourself bleed.

I’m sorry, I’m digressing again. Where was I? Oh yes. The beginning. Don’t be surprised if I switch perspective. Doctor Ruby says it’s natural with a traumatic experience to look at it third-pony, like it’s not you, like it’s a TV show or a play. I’m stalling. I’m sorry.

Alright. The beginning. Once I tell you, you’ll maybe understand why Darkie wants us to die, and why I want to die. Why I hate breathing in and out. Why I hate being forced to exist from one second to the next. Why I hate waking up and discovering that I haven’t died in the night. Why I hate my life.

You can’t call this a life.

Sleeping in a padded room in my friend’s house, laying on a bed with straps and padded buckles so I don’t hurt myself in the night, oh…digressing. Again. Sorry. Again.

The beginning of my misery, and the birth of Darkie.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"Hey Java, can I have another coffee please?” Darkstar asked as she reclined on her seating pad at her favourite table. Café Diem had ten outdoor tables, however this one was her favourite. Situated so no matter the time of day it caught the sun, yet the awning from the window gave her the right amount of shade – and best of all – two potted perennial plants that coincidentally blocked breezes to the occupier of the seating pad. Many years ago Darkstar had laid claim to this pad. This was her spot.

“You can, Darkie,” Java replied with a grin as he ambled over to her table with a tray on his back. “If you ask me as if I were a zebra.”

“C’mon Java I’m thirsty!” Darkstar gave the cream coloured earth pony her best sexy pout.

“Pout all you want, oh sweet young unicorn.” He smiled, wiping his deep coffee brown mane from his sparkling green eyes. “It’s February, your exams are coming up and you need to practise. So, come on, a. Ask me properly.” Java chuckled, taking a symbolic step backwards.

“Oh bu…fine. Here goes. unaweza…i na…kahawa…tafadhali?” She asked hesitantly, reciting the zebran phrase she had studied.

“Oooh so very close my little protégé,” he grinned a wide grin, “But ‘can I have another coffee please’ is actually unaweza i na kahawa mwingine tafadhali?”

“I wasn’t far away Java!” The unicorn pouted again at the prospect of no coffee. “You’re showing off, just because you trained with the Coffee Tribe…”

“Oh no need to pout Darkie, you’ll curdle the milk.” The earth pony laughed at her raspberry as he laid the full tray in front of her on the table. “You weren’t far away, true, but you were far enough away that Professor Rosetta would’ve marked you down, honey.”

Levitating the steaming cup of coffee to her lips in her yellow aura she blew the steam away. “Thanks Java, you’re my coffee guardian angel.”

“Thanks?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Ugh…” she rolled her yellow eyes with a faux disgruntled look, “Shukuru, then.”

“That’s better. You’ll ace that languages exam yet, Darkie, you see if you don’t.” Java smiled warmly at her as he strode away to serve a family of pegasi that just walked into his café.

Darkstar watched the stallion walk off, happily trading banter with his many customers who were huddled inside the café. Granted, not everypony wanted to brave the late winter / early spring sun outdoors, but to the unicorn it made no difference. This was her spot. Taking a quick sip of her hot coffee she smiled, ‘best surrogate dad ever.’ It was an unspoken thing between her and the middle-aged stallion. They hadn’t said it outright, there was no need to.

Taking a second sip of her favourite coffee – a caramel macchiato that she had not had to ask for – her phone beeped to alert her to an incoming email. Swallowing the caramel flavoured coffee with a happy sigh she used her magic to scroll through her phone’s menu to the emails and opened it up. “Ooh it’s from Cy! No…no I mean ni kutokana na Cy!” She exclaimed with glee at hearing from her friend.

‘Hey Darkie,

It’s Cy, I’m just letting you know I’ve gotten to Cloudsdale okay. The cab ride took nine hours! I know the damn place moves but did it have to be half way to Vanhoover? I mean, come on! And, yes, before you ask I had the roof up and the windows closed. The trip was as dull as anything, but at least the cab had wifi, I was able to play that new Angry Parasprites game they’ve brought out. By the way, my highest score is four thousand. Beat that whitey.

My apartment’s okay…there’s really not a lot to it but it’s better than a hole in a cloud I guess. Here, I’ve put a few pics in the attachments. Honest opinion tell me what you think hun – don’t be too honest though, ‘kay? At least the rent is affordable, by that I mean it’s cheap.

I’ve got an interview with the head of the Uni over here in a couple of days, but I really don’t think they’ll let me in with my record now. Who knows, I’ll ask anyway. If they don’t accept me I guess I’m job-hunting.

Look…Darkie…I know we aren’t exactly neighbours but don’t be a stranger alright? Call me, Skype me, Facebook or whatever. I miss you all already. Keep in touch Darkie.

I hate being away from you.’

Darkstar closed her emails with a flash of her magic and floated her phone to the table to replace it with the now half empty coffee cup raised to her lips. Draining the remainder of the cup she licked her lips clean of the caramel flavoured drink and idly picked up her phone again, this time scanning through her downloaded photos. She flicked through them until she found several new ones that were flagged as unseen. “Ooh this must be Cy’s new place…let’s have a look…oh…oh my…” Darkstar wrinkled up her nose at the state of the cloudominium Cyclone had managed to secure. ‘No wonder the rent’s cheap Cy,’, she thought as she scanned through the pictures of what appeared to be just a one-roomed studio flat. ‘Oh Cy…’

The white unicorn reclined on her seating pad basking in the few rays of sun that made it past the café’s awning and landed on her fur. It was a shame Cy had to move, but upon reflection it had been her own fault. After she had been arrested that had been the deal; leave Canterlot and the charges of child molestation will be dropped. As there had been witnesses that saw her kiss the little filly, she’d had very little choice but to move. What surprised Darkstar was the choice of location. ‘Oh well…it’s your own fault Cy.’

Sliding herself off of her seating pad and picking up the tray in her magic she trotted inside the café and down the doubled row of ten tables to the counter. “Hey Java, a refill please while I go to the mare’s room.” She turned to go having set the empty tray down but paused when she got no answer. “You hear me Java?”

“Hear what?” Java chuckled as he turned his back on his favourite customer to serve another pony. “I’ll hear you, Darkie, when you ask properly.”

“Oh come on Java! Every time, really?” she asked, slightly desperate both for the bathroom and for another caramel macchiato. He just carried on serving the other pony with an amused smile on his muzzle.

“You know the rule Darkstar,” Java chuckled as he gave the mare at the counter the drink she had ordered.

“Fine…um…tafadhali unaweza…i na kahawa?” sShe asked with a slight hint of frustration in her voice as she put the phrase together, hopefully in the right order this time. Judging by Java’s smile the unicorn had got it right.

“Oh…’please can I have a coffee’ now is it?” The earth pony smiled at her. “We have gotten polite haven’t we?” Sniggering to himself he turned and activated the barista machine. “Go take care of…whatever it is you need to take care of Darkie, I’ll leave your coffee at your spot.”

“Thanks Java!” With that the white unicorn uncrossed her hindlegs and made a dash for the mare’s bathroom, much to the stallion’s delight. She swore she could still hear him laughing as she reached the first stall and shut the door behind her.

Turning and seating herself on the white porcelain Darkstar heaved a gentle sigh at the fullness in her lower abdomen, the familiar feeling she got when her bladder was full. Spreading her hindlegs in the stall the white mare reached down and spread her labia open, amusing herself for the moment with the pretence that she was peeing for her brother’s enjoyment. ‘Brighty always did like watching me…shame he’s in Filly…’ she thought with a heavy sigh of pleasure as her sphincter muscles finally relaxed and her golden urine began to stream from her full bladder through her urethra. “MMmmm damn that feels good.” She murmured as her stream eventually started to end and with it her discomfort.

"Oooh my coffee!” Darkstar giggled, finally sliding off of and flushing the café’s toilet with her magic she re-emerged from the bathroom to see Java pointing to her spot outside.

“One extra-large caramel macchiato with chocolate sprinkles for my favourite studying unicorn.” Java grinned as Darkstar rushed behind the counter and gave him a tight hug. “Oof…it’s waiting at your spot Darkie.” the cream earth pony gasped through her hug.

“Asante Java, asante!” Darkstar yelled the zebran for ‘thank you’, virtually galloping outside to her table. The beautiful sight that greeted her made her heart melt with utter joy; not only was there an extra huge steaming mug of coffee, but there was also an amazing, gorgeous, fantastic caramel donut sitting on the tray like a queen next to a king. “Oh Java…I love you!” Sliding back on her spot she gave the donut a reverential lick, shivering with absolute pleasure. ‘Salted caramel…you sexy beast…’ she thought happily as she swallowed the flavoured icing.

Just as she was about to take a large – and thoroughly un-ladylike – bite out of the wonderful donut her phone rang. Seeing she was alone in her spot, nopony even sat next to her on the adjacent tables, Darkstar answered her call with her magic, automatically switching it to loudspeaker when she saw whom was calling. “Y’hello Raid, what’s up?” she asked, her tongue still a little heavy from the sticky caramel.

“Let me guess. You, Café Diem, salted caramel donut and a macchiato?” Air Raid’s amused voice sounded from the speaker.

“Uh…how’d you know that?” Darkstar answered with her own question as she floated the coffee to her lips in an attempt to wash the caramel from her tongue. Strange how it tasted slightly ‘odd’ this time.

“Shot, you want this one?”

A stallion’s voice came across the phone, just as Darkstar heard the sound of a powerful engine brought to life. “That’s your caramel voice, Darkie.”

“I do not have a ‘caramel voice’ thank you very much Slingshot!” the unicorn tried to sound indignant and failed, so contented herself with another sip of her sweet coffee.

“Sure you do Darkie,” she could practically hear the smile on the pink earth pony’s muzzle, “It’s the same lusty voice Raid uses when she describes your dances…hey! Oow!” He grunted as Air Raid nudged him hard in the ribs with her hoof.

Giggling like a filly she set her mug down and wiped her lips, “Raid just dig you in the ribs sweetie?”

“Yes…and it totally hurt!” Slingshot whimpered like a terminally injured ninety year old.

“Aw…you poor abused stallion. Darkie kiss it better when you get back, promise.” Darkstar purred in the best sexiest ‘bedroom voice’ she could make, smiling to herself at the imagined effect it was having on the pony holding the other phone.

“Y-you’d better promise.” the semi-aroused whimper was evident in his voice, even a thousand miles away.

“Down boy,” Air Raid sniggered at the wheel of the car as she joined the freeway. “Just letting you know we’re starting back now, we should be back in Canterlot in roughly eighteen and a half hours, assuming the freeway’s clear.”

“Hmm…so one in the afternoon now, you should get back say oh…seven thirty tomorrow morning then?.” Darkstar quickly worked it out in her head. “Hey…you driving now? Isn’t that dangerous Raid?”

“Nah…I got it on the hooves-free Darkie,” Air Raid chuckled as Slingshot let out an indignant ‘hey!’

“I don’t think Shot likes being called your ‘hooves-free’ Raid.” Darkstar laughed as she took another lick of the caramel from her donut ‘still tastes a little funny,’ she thought, but paid it no mind. “So hey, how was Filly?”

“Filly was awesome!” Air Raid cheered as she shifted up a gear, “We totally rocked it! Ten wins from fourteen races we got joint first over all in the tables!”

“Yes, I saw, very nice Raid, well done and all that; I’m sure your trophy is very shiny and lovely,” Darkstar dismissed off-hoofedly., “That’s not what I meant. Any sign of Wily?” she asked eagerly, taking a nibble of the donut and not noticing the taste anymore.

This time Slingshot answered. “No Darkie, not a whisper. We thought we saw a small yellow pegasus the other week when we had some down time, but that was just a half look from our car, that’s why we called you then. We didn’t expect Brightstar to come out here as well just on a hunch.”

“Ugh…fine, I guess. What’s Brighty doing anyway?”

“He’s staying out here a bit longer hun,” Air Raid said with a suggestive tone in her voice. “He says he’s looking for Wily, but me and Shot think it’s got more to do with this sweet looking lady griffon he met while we were in this pub a couple of nights back.”

“He’s chasing a griffon?” Darkstar asked, taking another slightly larger bite of her now half eaten donut and washing it down with the last of her macchiato. “I’ll never see him again!” she exclaimed with a giggle.

“She’s nice; Moonbeak, I think her name is. I got a picture of them both on my phone, I’ll get Shot to mail it you in a sec.” Air Raid grinned as she overtook a couple of slower electric cars. “Hey…how’s the search going back home?”

“Yeah…yeah it’s going alright…” Darkstar shook her head, fighting away a sudden feeling of room spinning nausea that washed over her. ‘Weird…’ she thought as she shook her head again. “I uh…I chased up that nurse, what’s her name, Eirene…well she put me onto this pegasus that works in the hospital cafeteria. I spoke to her and she described this purple unicorn that Wily’s dad met with. I did a little digging and she runs this care home in Canterlot. Raid I think I’m close, real close.”

“Darkie…be careful babe,” Air Raid subconsciously rubbed her muzzle with her free hoof while the other held the wheel, “remember what happened to me before we left for Filly?” she asked, referencing the occasion a week and a half before Hearths Warming Eve when they had both pounded on Cold Front’s door demanding to know exactly where Wildfire was, just to get the door slammed in their faces, Air Raid getting a fracture of her muzzle as she was standing slightly closer than her friend.

“Raid…oooh…” The unicorn stumbled her words as the café spun again, “I uh…I’ll be fine…I, I got this sw-sweetie.”

“Darkie?” Slingshot asked with concern at the sudden slur in her voice, “You alright?”

“I…I think so…I’m gonna go…home I think, too many…donuts.” Darkstar found her hooves were shaking as she stood up from her spot.

Slingshot gave Air Raid a look from his passenger seat, a look of ‘what’s she into now?’ A look that did not go unrecognised as the pegasus put her right hoof down, speeding up her Fiesta. “I’ll call you later hun when we stop for a break.”

“Yeah…yeah Shot…sure thing…” Darkstar hung up the call, floating her phone into her bag with her yellow magic, which for some reason began fizzing as she tried to maintain the levitation. “What the buck’s wrong with me?” she asked aloud, shaking her head again.

“Ah!” Java exclaimed with a wide smile as he appeared at the side of the table. “I’ll just take your tray if you’re done Darkie, unless you’d like another, on me?”

“Uh…n-no, no Java…I um…I’m gonna go home I think.” Darkstar staggered like she’d had three glasses of Luna’s best moonshine. Which she hadn’t of course, not since Dusk had elected to shut himself away from the known universe.

“Hey…” the cream earth pony said gently, reaching out a hoof to steady the young mare, “You okay Darkstar?”

“Y-yeah…yeah I’m fine…” she murmured as the world spun again, making her feel sick. “I’m f-fine. Thanks for the coffee…and thanks for the caramel donut too…”

“Donut?” Java wondered out loud as he watched Darkstar stagger away, “What donut?” He gave a shrug of his shoulders and thought nothing of it, ‘probably just one of her pranks,’ he thought with a smile. Well, she wasn’t getting him this time.

Stumbling along the street Darkstar leant against the wall as the world continued to spin; she swallowed hard, breathing through wave after wave of nausea that threatened to overwhelm her. Another step and her vision swam again, the sidewalk and the street blurring together to be indistinguishable from one another. “Wh-what…what’s wrong with me?” Taking a further step she tripped over the curb and landed in the gutter, her head in her forelegs in order to steady the world and stop it from spinning.

“Ugh…bucking hell…wh-what…” So preoccupied was she with keeping the world in the right axis and the contents of her stomach on the inside rather than decorating the street that the stricken unicorn didn't notice the white transit van that pulled up alongside her with a screech of tyres.

“B…Buck…” Darkstar gasped as she struggled to stand up, only to find that her legs wouldn't do as they were told. Somewhere a long way away in her conscious she registered a door slamming somewhere very close to her, off to her right flank, from the direction of the road. Again she tried to stand only for her forelegs to turn to jelly beneath her, unable to support her own weight. She heard two voices coming from her right…voices she’d never heard before. They were stallions though, she was sure about that. Two stallions and they were getting close to her. ‘Oh good…help. They can help me…’

“It looks like the drugs are working.” she clearly heard one say to the other.

“Yeah,” she heard the other agree with a nasty sounding laugh, “How dumb do you have to be to eat any old ‘donut’?”

‘Oh shit…oh shit, oh shit…’ Darkstar registered vaguely the menace in the stallions’ voices. Through the fuggy haze clouding her brain she caught the hint that she was very suddenly in a whole world of trouble. ‘I've been drugged…they did this to me…’ struggling with all the effort she could muster the unicorn tried to crawl away from the two stallions who immediately burst out laughing at her futile effort to get away.

"Hey!” A third stallion’s voice sounded out, a little further away than the other two, "Take all day, why don't you? We don't want anypony else on the street to notice us, idiots, hurry it up!" Darkstar froze in sheer terror. She recognised that voice. If she thought she was in trouble before she certainly knew she was now. Redoubling her efforts to crawl away she made it all of two feet before she felt a heavy hoof land square on her back, pinning her to the ground.

“He’s right, come on let's get her in the back.” As soon as she heard those words she felt a firm leg hook around and under her right foreleg, lifting her roughly off the ground and causing the whole world to spin out of control as she tried to focus on what was happening. Just as she started to slip and fall another equally strong hoof caught her under her other leg and lifted her again, forcing her towards the open van doors.

Realising finally what was about to happen Darkstar started to struggle against the stallions that currently held her upright. “Let…let me go!” She aimed a kick at the stallion to her left and a punch to the right, but drugged and held as she was there was precious little sting to the blows, and she was rewarded for her efforts by a swift punch to the side of her head that made stars explode in her eyes.

"Get in there you white bitch!” one stallion yelled in her ear, easily lifting her up and throwing her bodily into the back of the transit van while the other hopped up inside with her and pulled the doors shut with a resounding clang of metal on metal.

“Oow…ugh!” Darkstar rolled over in the back of the van, tasting metal and rust as her head banged off of the dirty floor. Landing on her back she saw the hazy shape of a stallion dove into her field of vision above her. Full of fear and panic the unicorn fired off a series of bright sparks and flashes from her horn. She tried to aim but found she couldn't even see straight.

“Nice light show.” was all she heard from the stallion before a stern kick impacted her abdomen, making her retch into the filth of the van’s oily grimy floor.

Fighting to keep herself as alert as she could, which under the circumstances wasn't very alert, Darkstar attempted another spell. Concentrating she lit her horn and in her panic cast her invisibility spell, feeling the familiar lightness take her as she faded from view.

"Oh no...where could she possibly be?” the unicorn’s voice sounded, nasty with sarcasm as he lit his own horn, sending a wave of freezing cold through the back of the van that instantly had icicles hanging from the ceiling. It caught Darkstar and made her cry in shock, interrupting her spell. Feeling for her the stallion landed a sharp jab at the base of her horn that made her squeal, cancelling out the illusion. Leaning over her the unicorn wedged his hoof against her neck, keeping her pinned down. Lighting his horn again he floated over a small golden ring.

Darkstar’s yellow eyes went wide with fresh panic as she saw and recognised the gold ring for what it was. “N-no…no please…please don’t, please…”

“You’re at University, right?” the unicorn sneered as he held her head still and floated the ring down the length of her horn and secured it with a savage twist that made her cry out. “Time to teach you a lesson.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

So, there you have it. As much as I remember. I was drugged and dragged into the back of a van. I don’t remember what happened after that. From what I was told and, from what I read of the police and the medical reports though, I’m kinda glad I don’t remember.

Hey Darkstar…it’s wakey wakey time…

No! It’s still my turn!

Ha…y’know ya can’t keep me asleep for very long. I’m you, remember, weakling?

I’m not weak!

Yeah? Then why were you so easy to overpower, huh? Weakling.

I’m not weak!

Yeah right. Admit it, you like it when I wake up. I make things exciting, I bring the fun in, don’t I? Weakling…

I’M NOT WEAK!

Oh no? Ha. Ha. Ha. Keep on shouting, and the nurse will come.

I’m…not…weak!

Keep on talking to yourself like this and she’ll strap you down again like last time. Then…you’d like that, right? All nice and snug, strapped to your bed like a weak loony…

I’m…not…

Crazy old Darkstar. Just like crazy old mommy…

I’m…weak! Darkie hold me! Please!

Shh…shh Darkie’s here now. Let Darkie tell them what happened next. Darkie make it all better. Trust me. Darkie will make it all better little one, Darkie will always. Be. Here. Always.

There. Now she’s gone away for a bit, before the nurse comes, I’ll tell you the rest. Darkstar hates this bit. That’s why she needs me. I’m the strong one, not her. She’s pathetic. I can’t stand that I need to share her body. Such a waste. Unfortunately I can’t tell you exactly what happened. I hadn’t been created until the weakling woke up from her pathetic little coma.

Anyway. The reports.

I was…Darkstar was…we…were raped by the three stallions who abducted us. Many times. We don’t know how many times. More than once each anyway. They left their cum in us.

I think Darkstar enjoyed it. Maybe a little. She’s a naughty little pony. Fucked her brother ya know. I know! Sick, right?

Anyway. They didn’t stop at raping her…me…us…WHATEVER! They broke four of her ribs, punctured her lung. They broke her left foreleg in three places. Who knows? Maybe the weakling tried to fight back? I doubt it. Her left hind leg was broken too, as was her jaw.

Now, tee hee, now, oh now we get to the really fucked up part. I love this part. They cut off the top two thirds of her horn and stabbed her twice in the gut. With her own horn! I know…messed up, right? Oh yeah, they fractured our skull when they did that. Probably screwed up her weak little brain. Which is why I’m here, so not all bad, huh?

Hey…the best part? You’re probably thinking it was quick, right Doc? Nah. Not so much. Darkstar don’t remember this bit, but I do. Get in real close. I’ll tell ya. See, a unicorn’s horn is made of a thickened keratin and it has a pliable, almost fluid, inner core. Ya have to really want to remove one. They used the flat slicing edge of a kitchen knife. A really, really dull kitchen knife.

I can tell ya, it took them at least twenty minutes. Two stallions held her down and the third did it. The amount of pain that poor little Darkstar endured was bad. Nasty bad. She screamed so much she lost her voice. You try removing a leg with a penknife, ya get the idea.

But they weren’t done, those stallions. Whoever assaulted Darkstar didn't plan on her surviving. She was found in the Warehouse District. She was very near death, really. Should’ve froze to death, but she didn’t. Guess she ain’t so weak after all, huh?

Well, look at that. I got me a pen in my mouth. The nurse should know better than to leave Darkstar with something sharp and pointy. Anything could happen, right? Tee hee, shall we see how fast she is today?

Taking the pen in my mouth I bite hard at the tip, snapping it and making a jagged edge. Looking up at the security cameras positioned in the corners of the room I smile. Inwardly I bet Jewel Joy will take ten minutes to get through the little barricade that Darkstar put there before she woke me up.

That was nice of her, right?

Right?

Giving the camera a wink I plunge the jagged edge of the pen deep into my right fetlock, just above the old scars that are there just under my white fur. As dark red blood trickles from the torn capillaries, I do it again and again, stabbing the lower foreleg as hard as I can while the nurse tries to open the door to our room. She’ll be a few minutes yet. Plenty of time to bleed some more.

It’s satisfying, looking at the crimson, smelling the coppery tang as the blood pours over our foreleg and our hoof. It stains the padded floor as I stab us again, and again. The pain…wow…the pain is exhilarating! As Nurse Joy finally breaks the door open, I stab the pen in so far it stays in our foreleg. She doesn’t look happy. I guess it’s a few hours strapped to the bed for us. Oh well, I’m feeling sleepy now anyway.