A Darker Shade of Me

It’s dark. Actually it’s pitch black. I can’t see a thing.

I only know I’m awake because I’m blinking. I still can’t see anything though. Am I even awake? To be honest, I don’t really know. Then again, I must be. No dream can match this reality I’m living in right now. Then again, is this reality? I don’t know for sure…sorry, I’m digressing. I do that a lot.

I don’t so much have a train of thought as I have a derailment.

Anyway. I was sleeping. I like sleeping. When I’m asleep I’m free of her. Darkie leaves me alone when I’m asleep. I don’t know why and I don’t care. Hmm…why did I wake up? It’s dark in my room. Actually it’s pitch black. I can’t see a thing.

Why did I wake up? Not today I mean, whenever today is, I mean months ago now, from the coma. Why? Why did I wake up? Tartarus if I know. Is this Tartarus? Hmm…my own personal Tartarus, now, there’s an idea. Maybe I’ll talk to Doctor Tuesday about it at our next session together.

I like Doctor Tuesday. Darkie likes Doctor Tuesday. She lets us play with the knife. We like the knife. We named it. We called it Symphony. Symphony listens when we talk to it. Symphony likes us. She likes it when we play with her. She likes it when we stroke her handle, when we kiss her spine and her blade. We love Symphony’s carved wooden handle. Doctor Tuesday even had her name embossed in gold lettering. It looks good against the dark wood. Symphony has a twelve inch blade, made from a fifteen layer Damascus steel. The pattern is beautiful. We love Symphony…

Oh…I’m digressing again. Sorry. Where was I? Oh yes…waking up. Why did I do that again? I was in a coma. The coma was lovely. I was playing with my mum. Shining Star loved to play catch with me and my brother, well, she did before her incident. We were fourteen – we as in Brightstar and I, not we as in Darkie and me – when mum was committed to the asylum in Canterlot.

She was an illusionist, like we are. She was even famous, a bit. Mum supported Trixie on her magic tours, played assistant, she even helped her start up her first permanent night club in Canterlot. We liked Trixie’s Place. It was fun. We’d go there with mum. Then the inevitable happened. She lost control of her illusions. She couldn’t tell what was real and what was an illusion she’d created. It happens to all illusionists.

Oh…sorry, I was talking about why I woke up. Air Raid did it. She whispered a poem to me in the hospital. One of her favourite lines from a play she likes. What was it now? Oh yes, we remember;

“Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.”

Our revels now are ended. We are such stuff as dreams are made on. Huh…if that’s true then by my dreams I must be one crazy mare. Mad. As mad as my mum. Any day now they’ll take us away to the nut farm. It’s only due to Air Raid that they haven’t yet.

Air Raid. My friend. My carer. That bitch! I know she doesn’t care, nopony cares! NOPONY CARES!

That’s it Darkstar. You tell them. Tell them all. They don’t care. They don’t love you the way I love you.

You don’t care either!

Yes I do my love. I love you Darkstar, you’re my super special somepony. You’re my star in the darkness, you know that, right my love? Actually, why is it dark, Darkstar? It’s not just dark. Actually it’s pitch black. I can’t see a thing. Why? Are your eyes closed?

Hmm…no, no your beautiful yellow eyes are open, so why is it dark? Why, Darkstar, why? Why?

I DON’T KNOW!

Don’t shout at me. You hurt my feelings.

I’m sorry.

I don’t think you are.

I am! I’m sorry!

Are you? Are you sorry?

YES!

I’m afraid I’ll have to hurt you now.

Why? Darkie, I said I was sorry! Please don’t hurt us!

Shh…shh…sweetness. Darkie’s here now. I need to hurt you, don’t you see? I have to hurt you. Everypony who claims to love you hurts you. Then again…everypony who claims to love you ends up leaving, don’t they?

That’s not true!

No?

NO!

Oh really? Where’s mummy? Mummy hurt us when she left. She ‘loved’ you. Where’s Brightstar? He said he loved you. Darling brother said he loved you when he was rutting you stupid all those times. Where’s he now? Where’s Air Raid? She ‘loves’ you, but where’s she? Off racing. She loves her career more than you, just like when she left Wildfire.

That’s not true!

Yes, it is. All those ponies claim to love you, and they’re gone. I really love you. I’m here. I love you, Darkstar. Do you love me?

No.

Yes, you do. You love me. Say you love me. Say it and mean it. Say you love me and I’ll leave you alone. Say it.

I love you Darkie!

I know you do. I love you Darkstar. Now, it’s dark. Why is it dark? It’s so dark. Actually, it’s pitch black. I can’t see a thing. Why?

I looked around. It was still dark no matter which way I looked. Very, very dark. I was in my room. That much I know. How long had I been in here? Bucked if I know, really. It’s dark, so that means it’s somewhere between eight p.m. and eight a.m. that’s when the lights go out. See, built into the padded ceiling are three strip lights that give off natural light, because there’s no windows in my padded room.

Ah…so, that’s why it’s dark. The lights are off. So, why am I awake? Why is she awake? Why are we awake? It’s dark, so it’s night-time.

Ooooh. Agonising cramps in my abdomen. That’s why.

I need to pee. I really, really need to pee. Memory comes flashing back like a tidal wave. NGGGGH bad choice of words. I haven’t peed for…let me think now, the lights have come on, gone off, come on and gone off again. That makes um…something like two days.

Two days since I last took a pee. Luna, it hurts!

Instinctively I try to get up. I can’t. I can’t so much as move an inch. Why can’t I move?

Oh yeah…I’m strapped down to my bed. I forgot. Can you believe I’ve been rabbiting on all this time in the pitch black without trying to move? Ponies’ll think I’m mad! MAD! Me!

Damn though…these straps are tight. Funny thing, I’ve only just realised they’re tight. It’s a good thing my mattress is so soft. It’s a cloud you see. Enchanted under the sheet covering it. Good thing too, I’ve been on this bed for oh, let’s see, three days now. Nurse Joy likes the straps. She punishes us with the straps when we’re bad.

She punishes us a lot. We’re bad a lot.

They’re good straps too. Very tight. Two go in an X across my chest that meet a horizontal one going across my chest. This runs to hoof cuffs buckled tight around my forehooves. These are strapped to buckles at the side of the bed frame. Lower down my body are straps around my upper thighs that are buckled to straps that hold my upper hind legs, shoulder-width apart and down on the mattress. Lower still, are hoof cuffs buckled around my hind hooves that are buckled to straps that are fastened securely to the sides of the bed.

So…there we are. Fully exposed on the bed and I still need to pee! I can’t though. We can’t. If we pee without Nurse Joy’s permission she’ll punish us. I think she hates us.

I tried telling Air Raid that Nurse Joy spat in the food she made us last time, before she left to race in Baltimare, but Air Raid didn’t do anything. I tried telling her she brushed my mane too hard, but Air Raid didn’t do anything. All she did was speak to Nurse Joy. All that did was earn us two days on the bed and Nurse Joy used the brush and spanked my inner thighs till they almost bled.

I know not to upset Nurse Joy.

BUT I NEED TO PEE! Oh Luna I need to pee so bad!

“Nurse Joy!” I scream into the pitch black room. Of course I get no reply. Not even an echo.
“NURSE JOY!” I scream again and uselessly try to struggle against the straps and the hoof cuffs. I know she can see me. I know she can hear me. There are four cameras in the room, one in each corner of the room looking down, recording all the time, transmitting to the living room.

“NURSE JOY! PLEASE!” I know begging is pointless. I’m writhing on the bed as much as I can. Sweet Luna it hurts! My bladder hurts so much! “NURSE PLEEEEEEEEEASE! I NEED TO PEE! PLEASE!”

I wonder if she’s laughing at us? Laughing at me? I’m crying now, tears running hot, salty tracks down my cheeks. I know she’s watching. Nurse Joy loves to see us cry.

Distraction. Think about something else. That’s the thing to do.

By the right side of the bed is a recorder. I’m not allowed to have pens anymore since Darkie stabbed my fetlock the other day. Doctor Ruby Tuesday arranged the recorder instead so I can talk out things that bother me, or things we need to talk about.

I know what I’m thinking. Why don’t I talk into the recorder and let Doctor Tuesday know I’m being punished? We tried that. Nurse Joy hears us and just deletes what we said. Then she punishes us.

Record.

There. The green light flashing in the dark lets me know the digital recorder is working. What the hay do I say now? What’s bothering me besides my aching distended painful bladder? How much I want to die? How much I want the pain to end? Or do I talk about how alone I feel. Yes, that. I’ll talk about the first time I was abandoned.

Abandoned by Brightstar and by Air Raid, shortly after I woke. I was at Air Raid’s house, this house, but this room wasn’t padded back then. It is now.

Okay, here we go…

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

“I was just about to make breakfast, would you like pancakes or waffles?” Brightstar asked, his own smile about as false as his friend’s was.

“Did you…um, sleep well, Darkie?” Air Raid asked, taking the empty coffee mugs to the sink.

“Pancakes,” Darkstar muttered simply, shooting her brother a foul look that threatened to curdle the milk he was going to make the pancakes from. Pointedly ignoring Air Raid she looked down at the black marble island top as the stallion got up and floated out the eggs, flour and milk to start cooking the pancakes.

“Darkie...” Air Raid asked again, this time a little louder, “did you sleep ok…”

Without looking up from the island top Darkstar quietly interrupted her. “Shut up...you two were talking about us…”

With his back to his sister and very grateful that he had something to occupy himself with, Brightstar replied, “Well, yeah, I was talking to Raid about you staying in Canterlot instead of moving to Fillydelphia. You grew up here, so it’s more familiar to you,” he said as he flipped the first set of three pancakes in the pan.

“Liar...shut up!” Darkstar shouted, still resolutely looking at the marble top. “You don't want us, we heard...told you he'd hurt us…”

Air Raid sat back down and slowly reached her hoof out to the white mare. “D-Darkie, no...that's not what we said at all, hun.”

“Darkie, please calm down,” Brightstar sighed as he served the pancakes to a waiting plate and started to cook three more. “If you really want to move, then say so!” he exclaimed, angry that they’d been overheard earlier, and at how his sister was talking. He desperately wanted to grab her and shake her, but he knew that was out of the question. Instead he settled for slamming Air Raid’s cupboard doors as he put away the flour.

“Yes...we'll be calm, we’ll be quiet just for you,” Darkstar muttered sullenly. ‘They don’t want you. Not your brother or your friend. They hate you. They hate us. I’ll keep you safe…trust me, Darkie.’

“Darkie...we were talking...” Air Raid said hesitantly, her hoof still on her friend’s withers, being utterly ignored. “You can always stay here if you want to, you know that.”

“Okay then!” Brightstar called out, switching off the electric oven. “Pancakes are ready. You want maple syrup, Darkie? We have strawberry jam too.”

“Maple syrup,” Darkstar murmured, almost inaudibly, her yellow eyes glued resolutely downwards as if scared to look either of the other ponies in the eyes. ‘They hate us, you know they hate us…they’re scared of us…we aren’t normal…you’re a freak!’

Brightstar shrugged as Air Raid gave him a concerned, questioning look with a nod to the sullen white mare. “Syrup it is then!” he said loudly, levitating up the three plates, knives, forks and maple syrup in his magical field. “We can eat in the dining room, get some use out of it.”

“Just cuz I usually eat here in front of the telly…” Air Raid stuck her tongue out at the royal blue stallion as she slid herself off of her seating pad and moved around to gently nudge the white mare’s shoulder. “C'mon Darkie, you'll feel better with a full belly.”

“We'd feel better if we were wanted,” Darkstar said petulantly as she stood from her pad and followed after the lime green mare towards the dining room. ‘Crazy…that’s what they call you. You’re crazy Darkie…’

Brightstar brought up the rear with the food and utensils floating in front of him. “We both want what is best for you, and that is for you to live with one of us.”

Upon entering the dining room Darkstar sloped onto the nearest seating pad to her and propped her elbow on the mahogany table to hold her head up. “What if we wanted to go home?” she asked, already sure of the answer she’d get.

Air Raid sat opposite her at the other side of the dining table and breathed through her nose, almost snorted, “You can't, we've discussed this!”

Darkstar wasn’t disappointed, she knew she wouldn’t be. “Because we're...crazy,” She said glumly.

“Raid, if she is that desperate to leave us then who are we to stop her?” Brightstar asked almost rhetorically as he floated the food to the table and magically set the cutlery beside each plate. “She is an adult,” he said, taking his own seating pad while shooting his ‘adult’ sister a sideways look that screamed he thought anything but, “But it will be you that's doing the leaving Darkie, not us.”

In silence Darkstar started to eat her first pancake, ignoring the knife and fork she picked it up in her much-weakened yellow aura and took a bite of it that way instead. Although the inhibitor siphoned off most of her magic, enough made it past the lower level ring to just manage a foal-level levitation…if she concentrated really hard. “We don't need them, go home...no, it'd be just us...” she argued straightaway, cocking her head as if she were talking to a pony next to her rather than in her head. “So? I'll keep you safe...no!...but...NO!” she shouted loudly, making the other two flinch as she thumped the dinner table with her forehoof. “Raid...we'll stay here, please.”

Halfway through his own pancake Brightstar tried very hard to hide the relief on his face. “You've made a good choice there sis. Raid is one fast pony.”

“Hmm…” was all the sound the white mare made as she picked up and ate her second pancake. ‘Your own brother doesn’t want you…who wants a crazy half-unicorn?’

“Yes!” Air Raid pulled a hoof-pump over her pancakes, “Girlie sleepover, every night!” She whooped with glee, genuinely happy to have another body in the house, even if it was a little wacko.

“Yes, I can just see it now,” Brightstar chuckled, rolling his yellow eyes at the thought as he picked up his pancake.

“Yeah…” Darkstar said very quietly, “we'll have fun.” ‘You see it the same way you see our mom in me…crazy little pony!’

“Um…anyway, Moon will arrive at three this afternoon,” Brightstar said brightly, catching his sister’s instant switch and wanting to change the subject. “We can go out for dinner if you’d like?” he asked optimistically.

“That's a good idea Bright,” Air Raid agreed, the lime green pegasus also glad of the subject change. “Darkie you can finally meet her!”

“We've met her...” Darkstar said simply, her tone strangely flat, devoid of any feeling. “We remember when we were asleep.”

“Sweetie, that's not what I meant...” Air Raid began before the troubled unicorn interrupted her.

“We know what you meant,” Darkstar said, cutting across her friend somewhat mechanically. “Don't want it....” she muttered as she looked at her third and last pancake sitting on her plate. “We want it over...hush! ...we've had enough!” she shrieked, sudden feeling re-entering her voice. ‘End it…we’re crazy…it’s for the best.”

Completely misunderstanding Brightstar thought she meant the pancake, “It's okay, you don't have to eat it all.”

“I'll take your plate, Darkie,” Air Raid offered helpfully, not wanting her friend to exert herself.

Darkstar held up her white hoof as she stood from her seating pad. “We can do it, Raid,” she said with a distinct grimace as on the first attempt of lighting her horn the magic puttered out like a snuffed candle, not making it past the inhibitor.

Air Raid shared a quick concerned look with the royal blue stallion, “Darkie, it's no trouble…”

“We said…” Darkstar muttered dangerously before stomping both forehooves in a violent flash of temper. “Sisi. Tunaweza. Kusimamia!” She had her white furred muzzle pulled back in a snarl as she screamed, her bright yellow magic surging past the inhibitor, creating her old illusion of her voice sounding at a pony’s ear, this time it appeared at both Air Raid’s and Brightstar’s at once, stunning them both with her sudden vehemence. “We. Can. Do. It…” she gasped, all at once considerably calmer as she lifted her plate in her weakened magic.

For a few long, quiet moments neither of the other two ponies made a sound, they were hesitant to even breathe. Presently Brightstar released the breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding. “You have come a long ways with your magic, you um…you think you can take a second?”

Darkstar shot her brother a scathing look, “Of course we can.”

“I know you can, sis.” Brightstar forced a smile as he finished the last bite and left the fork off of his plate.

Struggling to levitate over the second empty plate, Darkstar floated it to her own she stacked them together. Squeezing her eyes together and shaking with effort she lifted the plates in her fluttering yellow aura and trotted to the kitchen as Air Raid finished her last mouthful, and shared a meaningful look with Brightstar.

Brightstar looked back at her and over at the closed kitchen door with a shrug. “Her magic is coming back and that is a level five inhibitor she is wearing.”

Air Raid averted her grey eyes with a deep sigh. “Bright…I’m…I'm really worried, Bright,” she groaned, while in the kitchen Darkstar despondently set the dishes in the sink.

“I'm worried too, but we need to give her time,” the stallion agreed. “I hope you understand, but I'm happy she’s here with you.”

“Bright, of course I understand, like I said, I'm grateful for the company,” Air Raid admitted, still looking away from her friend. “Since…since Wily it's been too quiet here on my own.”

Darkstar shook as she rested her head against the kitchen cupboard door, tears in her eyes. ‘I was right…they don't want us...I told you…’

“She will be safer here with you,” the unicorn asserted as he used his magic to float all the cutlery on top of Air Raid’s plate. He knew he was more or less signing over his sister to his friend, but he really didn’t know what else to do. He cast his gaze around the seldom used dining room, searching for inspiration from the hardwood wall panels or the deep red carpet. Nothing sprang to his aid. “I know Moonbeak would welcome her in Fillydelphia, but it is a strange city for her, Raid.”

Air Raid caught his meaning at once, and her empathy for him shot up a million degrees. “And, you have little Athena and Zephyr to think about.” The lime green mare gestured with a hoof to her friend. “You've seen just how easy it is to set her off, with it just being you and me.”

Crying now with her eyes open Darkstar shuddered as the tears rolled down her white cheeks. “Of course they don't want us...nopony wants us...” she gasped out in between each wet sob. ‘They don’t listen to us…they don’t believe us…they don’t care, they just want us quiet so we don’t upset them.’ As the poisonous little voice whispered in her head her hoof came to rest on a kitchen drawer, the one in which Air Raid kept her knives. Pulling it open she saw the long, sharp, stainless steel blade of the carving knife glinting up at her. “We're just…a burden…” she cried through her tears of despair.

Brightstar nodded eagerly. “We would of course figure out something if we had to, but this is the best solution for her.”

Air Raid smiled over at her friend, “You know I'll look after her hun.”

“We...we're just a burden...” sighing deeply Darkstar channelled what little power she still had and lit her horn, lifting the knife in her unstable magical field. “Bright doesn't want us...we're crazy...we're mad...yes we are…” with that desolate, empty thought in her head the white unicorn reared up to her hind legs to place both of her forelegs on the black marble-topped work surface in the kitchen and rested the blade against the backs of her forehooves.

“Hun...she'll be safe here, and you know you can visit whenever,” Air Raid said reassuringly, then burst into giggles. “I'll even tidy up for you first.”

“We aren’t a burden…” Darkstar sighed as she slowly, very slowly, drew the knife in a long deep cut over both of her fetlocks. “Sshhh…it's the best way, Darkie, it’s done now.”

“I hear what you're saying, Raid, but you have a life too,” Brightstar smiled, “take her to the track, and if you need bits we can send you some.”

Air Raid laughed out loud, “Take her? She can sit next to me on the hill run.”

“Aaaah...” Darkstar sighed with pleasure as she stood, almost mesmerized, watched the crimson blood start to flow from the long clean cut she had just made across her forelegs. “See Darkie? Doesn't that feel better? Y-Yes...do it again…” she encouraged herself as she struggled to pick up the blood-stained knife in her magic and slashed her fetlocks once more.

Brightstar joined his friend in her laugh, both ponies in the dining room blissfully oblivious to the drama unfolding in the kitchen. “I think she'd like that, zipping around the track with some crazy mare.” He chuckled at Air Raid’s pout, “Might put Slingshot out of a job.”

Air Raid snorted out a laugh, “It might stop him being such a thorough ass though.”

“MMmmm....so much better…” Darkstar sighed, dropping the knife with a loud metallic clatter as she slumped to the tiled floor.

“Hey…” Air Raid’s laugh died suddenly on her lips, to be replaced by a look of deep concern, “is it me...or has she been gone a while?”

The closed kitchen door did absolutely nothing to muffle the loud, resounding clatter of the knife as it impacted the ceramic tiles of the kitchen.

Brightstar’s eyes went wide with panic. “Darkie!” Without thinking he immediately teleported to the kitchen, and a split second later Air Raid heard a panicked, “Ghaaa! Raid! There’s so much blood!”

“What?” Air Raid leapt up to her hooves and galloped through the door to the kitchen. “Darkie!”

Slumped and bleeding against the lower cabinet door Darkstar looked up at her brother dancing on his hooves in an utter panic, and at Air Raid’s stunned expression with a tired smile. “Sisi ni...si mzigo…”

“Raid…do something!” Brightstar shouted, now in a full panic.

Quickly sizing up the situation, ignoring the stallion for the moment Air Raid knelt in the growing pool of blood by the fallen unicorn and stroked her grey mane from in front of her eyes. “Bright, those towels, bring them over,” she instructed clearly and calmly, pointing with her wing to indicate the ones she meant. “I'll hold them tight on her, quick!”

With Air Raid knelt in front of her Darkstar muttered, “Sisi kupumzika sasa...” her yellow eyes began to droop, growing too heavy for her to keep open.

“Darkie no!” Air Raid yelled, her own panic threatening to take her. “Stay awake!”

Brightstar meanwhile, still prancing in a panicked dance that would, under any other happenstance be funny, was frantically trying to find the towels the green mare had asked for. “What towels!?”

Air Raid didn’t look up. She didn’t take her eyes away from the white mare, not once. “The tea towels, there, to the left of the stove!” She pointed again with her wing to the two cream towels. “Now!”

“What do I do?” Brightstar yelped as he finally grabbed the requested towels in his magic. “Raid, what do I do?”

Focused on the bleeding white unicorn Air Raid used her wings to hold Darkstar's cut forelegs above her head to hinder her circulation, slowing down the flow of blood. “Wrap one each around each leg, over the cuts, tight!”

‘So much blood!’ Obediently Brightstar used his magic to wrap the towels and help the pegasus support his sister’s legs. ‘So much blood…’ he tried without success to put the scene from his mind and detach…but there was so much blood…he wobbled, unsteady.

Satisfied her friend was, for the moment, in no immediate threat with the towels magically tied tight around her fetlocks, Air Raid at last chanced a glance over at her brother and saw him unsteady, “HEY! Snap out of it!” Noting the faint tinge of red already on the towels, she started to feel the panic. “Nine one one, now!”

Acting as if in a daze Brightstar released his hold on his sister’s raised legs and used his magic to float over his phone to him. “R-Raid…is she going to be okay?” he asked, a mix of fear and confusion in his voice as he dialled the emergency services.

“Sure!” Air Raid found the lie came remarkably easy to her lips as she knelt in her seldom-used kitchen, her lime green knees stained crimson with her friend’s blood, holding her legs up in the air. “Just get on that ambulance, we got this, right?”

Unsupported Darkstar’s head slumped forward so her chin rested on her chest as a tiny little trickle of red seeped from under the towel on her left leg. “Let...us...go…” she was so faint she practically exhaled the words.

“Help! Ahh, my sister is bleeding! Ahh, oh…” Brightstar flustered into his phone, almost giving in to his building hysteria as he hurriedly gave the operator Air Raid’s address – he had to try twice, the first time he gave them his Fillydelphia address – in the Upper Residential District. “Hurry!” he pleaded desperately. “Oh…oh I don't know…” to Air Raid he asked, “Is…she breathing?”

“Yep!” Air Raid called out, “She's still here, both of the crazy bitches!”

“We want…” Darkstar gasped as again her yellow eyes drooped to below half open, “Sleep...”

“NO!” Air Raid screamed, bringing her left hoof across her muzzle in a hard slap.

“Yes! I don't know, there is blood everywhere…” utterly distraught Brightstar slumped to the tiled kitchen floor, his fluttering aura barely able to hold his phone to his ear. “Please hurry, I can't lose her again.” The operator hung up, but still he held his phone up to his ear.

“How long?” For a long few minutes the stallion didn’t answer, prompting Air Raid to yell out, “Bright! How long‽!?” Brightstar held on to his phone, staring off at something that wasn’t there, looking anywhere other than at his stricken sister. He didn’t answer, his mind wanting very dearly to shut down and pretend this nightmare was just that, and that he was still asleep in his chosen room at Air Raid’s house. “Brightstar!” she screamed the question this time as she squeezed the towels harder,. “How. Bucking. Long?”

Recovering slightly Brightstar’s yellow eyes managed to focus on the lime green mare. “Soon…she said soon.”

Air Raid was about to chew out her friend for being so utterly and completely useless, wondering briefly if things would’ve gone differently had Moonbeak been here to command and direct him, better than she herself had done, when the sound of distant sirens reached her ears. Sighing with relief that professional help was almost here the lime green pegasus bit back the scathing comment she had been about to unleash, “Bright, go out there and guide them in, 'kay?” she directed clearly, pointing to her door for emphasis.

Giving his friend an unsteady look, as if he’d just been pole-axed, Brightstar shook his head, trying to clear whatever fog was there. “I…I can do that…” With a considerable amount of effort he heaved himself to his hooves and walked out of the upmarket apartment with the enthusiasm of one walking to his execution.

‘Luna dammit!’ Air Raid thought as she turned back to Darkstar with an angry snarl. “Damn you Darkstar! What in the name of Tartarus were you thinking?” she spat, seriously fighting the urge to add a black eye to her friend’s current injuries. After seven months of sitting by her bedside, praying for her to wake up, renting the next bed to her for over two hundred days that had cost her over one hundred and five thousand bits, Air Raid was determined she wasn’t going to die here on her kitchen floor. “Darkstar!” she yelled in her face, roughly shaking her.

Jerking her eyes open Darkstar looked through the lime green mare rather than at her. “There's no light...they always say there's a light…”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

“Record, Record.” There, now that’s stopped. I really can’t remember what happened next, I was passed out, you see. I remember what happened after I woke up. Brightstar, loving brother, ran back home to Fillydelphia. He didn’t even stick around to see me wake up. As for me, I was taken to Ponyville and assessed by Doctor Ruby Tuesday. After that, Air Raid employed Nurse Jewel Joy to look after me…

Oh no.

Nurse Joy…

I really couldn’t help it. Please understand. I couldn’t help it. I’d needed to pee for two days! Thinking of her…well, my bladder gave up. It had held on for two whole days, so really, I couldn’t shout at it, could I? My abdomen just hurt so damn much! It started as a trickle, and I really, really tried to hold on. I really did. But…once it started, well, that was it, wasn’t it?

I pissed like a pony who hadn’t taken a piss in two days. It seemed endless. I couldn’t see it, of course. Even if the lights had been turned on, I couldn’t see it, not with the padded straps on the bed holding me down like they were. I heard it and felt it though. A steaming, hot river of pee flowing out between my spread open thighs. I could feel it spattering all over my hind legs, pooling on the mattress under my ass. I imagined it staining my white fur bright yellow.

It felt wonderful to release it all, it really did. I sighed in utter relief as all the pain and cramps disappeared, as if by magic. I almost cried, it was so wonderful.

At least, it was until the door to my room was thrust open, revealing a triumphantly smirking Jewel Joy standing in the lit doorway, framed and silhouetted by the bright light washing in from the hall. “You weren’t given permission,” was all she said to me.

I apologised. I cried. I begged. All this I did while Darkie laughed in my head, the puddle of pee grew cold under me and she came closer. Menacingly closer.

“You filthy unicorn!” she shrieked in my face. “You useless piss-soaked bitch!” I tried to turn my head away, to look the other way, but she is an earth pony, and stronger than me, even if I wasn’t strapped down. Jewel Joy held my chin in her forehoof, forcing me to look at her. “I’ll have to clean you now, you disgusting mad freak,” she grumbled as she unstrapped the hoof cuffs from the strap across my chest and clipped them together with a six inch chain before removing the straps over my chest and my thighs.

“If I had my way I’d leave you to rot in your stinking puddle!” she spat in my face. Figuratively and literally. I just laid there, too weak and too scared to move.

"I can't though, can I?" Jewel Joy grumbled more to herself than to me. She had by now released the hoof cuffs around my hind hooves from the straps holding them down to the bed. “If you have sores all over you, then she’ll know, even though Celestia knows that Air Raid’s almost as dumb a bitch as you are.”

I protested at this. Even as she clipped the cuffs around my hooves together. She could insult me, but I wasn’t having her having a go at my friend. Jewel Joy just laughed at me and ordered me to shut up.

“Don’t worry though,” she nastily laughed at me as she hoisted me up and draped me over her back, “Nurse Joy’s been preparing a bath for you all day long!”

A bath? I didn’t dare believe it! A bath…well, perhaps I’d misjudged her. Darkie however warned me quietly not to get my hopes up. Well, duh I knew that, but come on! She was giving me a bath! Baths were awesome, even if I was hoofcuffed. Why was I hoofcuffed again?

When we got into Air Raid’s spacious bathroom I realised just why I was hoofcuffed.

I also realised why it had taken her all day to prep the bath for me.

The large bath toward which I was being carried was three-quarters full and it was packed with countless ice cubes, all bobbing about innocently on the surface of the water. Immediately my yellow eyes went wide and I tried ineffectively to struggle off of the nurse’s back.

I begged and pleaded as she slowly walked up alongside the waiting ice bath.

How can something inanimate look so evil, anyway?

Again, I begged and pleaded with Nurse Joy. Again, she didn’t listen. “Dirty bitches need to get clean.” With that, she shifted her body weight and I rolled helplessly into the freezing ice cold water, splashing it about as I resurfaced.

My screams lasted a good ten minutes.

Nurse Joy just stood there, watching until I stopped. All the time she held that nasty smile. “I think thirty minutes should be enough to replace the mattress sheet, don’t you?”

Thirty minutes! Already I couldn’t feel my hind hooves and my teeth were chattering.

“Yes…thirty minutes…” Jewel Joy laughed at the look of shock on my face then, she tied a blindfold tight over my eyes. “That’s to put you off trying to get out before I let you out.” I heard her hoof steps disappear away, leaving me stuck and shivering in the freezing water. As I shivered, colder than I had been in forever, I just hoped Air Raid would come home soon.