Author's Note

Don't take this chapter to seriously. I know they probably would have died with many of these traps but I just wanted to do this one for the holidays.

Flim And Flam (Sort Of A Way To Die)

Date: December 13, 2017
Location: Human World, Sweet Apple Acres

It's close to the holidays the time for love and the time for giving. Well, if you're Flim and Flam then it's the time for deceiving and the time for stealing. Flim and Flam wanted to steal the Apple Cider from the Apple Family at Sweet Apple Acres.

"Are you ready for tonight Flam?" Flim asked

"Of course I am," Flam said.

They had a plan to steal it tonight if only they knew that The Apple Family had an idea of how to stop them from stealing the Apple Cider. Rainbow Dash overheard their plan on that day and told the whole Apple Family.

"This cider belongs to us and we're going to defend it." Applejack said setting up traps for Flim and Flam. She knew they were coming. Apple Bloom and Big Mac were going to help as well "They aren’t gonna get it." Applejack said.

The Apple Family got ready. Apple Bloom went to the basement and opened up a wheeling tool chest. She only took out a blowtorch and an electronic stapler which are for the first floor of the house. Applejack went down to the basement, pouring a can of green liquid-like soap all over the floor by the shelf filled with paint cans. She takes a pair of pincers which were connected to the electrical AC box and connected them to the pipes behind the sink. Big Mac opened a trapdoor he made near the front door of the house and hid it under a doormat. He got a rope and soaked it in kerosene He then went up to Applejack's room and put it there for later. He also got a cement powder bag and tied it to another rope and opened another trapdoor to the basement and threw the rest of the rope down there. Apple Bloom set up a blowtorch to activate if someone pulled the string to turn on the lights for the kitchen. She tightened the faucet to the sink and filled a bucket near the sink with flammable liquid. Applejack was helping Apple Bloom tie yarn to paint cans and a rope to a black pipe near the stairs. They began to set up more traps with all the stuff they had. Granny Smith was making sure everything was set correctly.

Finally, it was time Flim and Flam came at night ready to steal their Apple Cider. Apple Bloom, Applejack, And Big Mac saw them, and it was time to take their plan to action.

"Let's do this you go through the front and I'll go through the back and be quiet. We don't want to get caught. If we do well, we got crowbars that we can swing. Let's try not to use them though." Flim said.

Flam nodded his head and Flim went to the backdoor while Flam would try to go through the front door.

Flam was about to try and open the door, he literally yanked the knob off of the door, revealing that it was tied to white yarn. "Eh?" he said with a puzzled look. He began pulling the yarn out of the doorknob hole. He kept pulling not knowing was that the yarn was actually connected to an electronic stapler that was hanging on the door and the staple could only be pulled by a trigger through the hole above the knob hole. The yarn was wrapped around the trigger. When Flam could no longer pull it, he tried pulling as hard as he could to get the rest of the yarn out, so he could enter the house. He tried pulling himself with his foot on the door, but it didn't work. So, he turned himself around, so his back was staring at the door.

As soon as he makes one final yank, the trigger was pulled and.

*Clank!!*

Flam felt a really sharp pain in a rear-end and screamed, "Yeooooow!!!!"

Flam slowly rotates himself to the door. He had a staple that was connected to the yawn on his rear end. As he rotates, the yarn was beginning to wrap around his left side which was causing another staple to shoot out of the hole.

*Clank!!*

"Oh!" This time, the trigger was pulled, and the staple with the yarn shot at his manhood He fell to his knees.

*Clank!!*

Unknowingly causing another staple to shoot out as he pulled onto the yarn. This time the staple and the yarn hit underneath his nose. Flam was in so much pain he fell on the ground on his back. Apple Bloom's trap worked.

Finally, Flim was at the backdoor and tried to open the door but it was locked. "Heh locked is that the best they could do."

Behind the door, Applejack was setting up a trap for Flim. She had the yarn tied to the lock. And that yarn was over the door and was connected to a zipper of a large bag full of heavy tools. Applejack was done tying the yarn and ran off.

Flim heard her. He didn't need to be quiet anymore knowing they were awake. He kicked it wide open, chuckling in triumph. As the door was slammed open, the yarn caused to pull the zipper bag open.

*Bang!!*

Letting out a bunch of falling heavy tools. Landing mostly on Flim's head and caused him to fall on the floor in pain. One wrench that was hanging briefly in the ceiling.

*Bang!!*

"Uh!" fell on his head knocking him out.

Flam was lying on the ground, pulling the staple off of his face. As soon as he pulls it off, he glared at it in anger, thinking angrily of The Apple Family for what they had done to him. "That's it no more going in quietly!!" He dropped the staple and got up on his feet with a growl. He pulled the staples and the yarn off of his rear end and his private part, recovering from the painful sharp injury.

*Clank!!*

Flam kicked the door open with all of his might. He made an evil confident grin. Looking around the living room as if the coast was clear. "Flim I'm inside!"

Flam makes his first step into the house. "Woah! Ahhhh!!"

And fell down the trapdoor Big Mac left open hidden under the doormat.

*Boom!!*

He fell and landed roughly on his front. He was covered in dust after landing on the ground. He lifted his head up and carefully rotates his head as it was making vertebrae crackling sounds. Then, he quickly tilted his head to the right.

*Crack!!*

Letting out one final crack.

"Aaah," he sighed loudly in relief before fainting.

Flim slowly got up on his foot with his forehead still hurting from the tools that fell on his head. He continued walking in the house cautiously. He walked and saw nothing out of the ordinary. He thought maybe it was just one trap they set up. He saw the lights turned off in the kitchen and decided to turn them on. However, what he didn't know was that this lightbulb had its top cord connected to a blowtorch that was hanging above his head in the ceiling.

As soon as he pulled the cord.

*Fwoosh*

The blowtorch blew fire on top of his head. Flim took a few simple steps in the kitchen. "Is it getting hot in here?" Then looked up and saw flames coming from his forehead. "Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah!" He tried to turn on the sink, but Apple Bloom tightened it. Then he saw a bucket near the sink that looked like water. He had a brief wide smile. When he lowered his head down into the bucket.

*Boom!!!!*

The whole main kitchen exploded in a flash of light. After the explosion, there was steam flowing out of the windows. As Flim slowly lifted his head up from the bucket he made a very deep hateful glare with his teeth covered in ashes. His face was covered in ashes and his hair was gone and had a bad burn spot where it used it be. He realized that the water was actually a flammable liquid.

"Wow, I heard that. I hope it didn't mess up the kitchen that much." Big Mac whispered.

Down in the basement, Flam wiped some of the dust off of his face. He slowly rose up from the ground since his back was hurting from the fall. As soon as he was on his feet he bends over and swung himself up.

*Crack!!*

Giving his back a loud crack. "Wow. A trapdoor." He said looking up the trapdoor he fell down. He tried to find a way out of the basement he saw the stairs covered in nails, so he decided to find another way out. Suddenly he noticed a rope hanging in a distance. It seemed like the only way out. So, he decided to head there. As soon as he was about to get to it, he suddenly began to lose balance on a puddle of green liquid-like soap Applejack put. "Woah! Hey!" He looked as if he was dancing around on the puddle. He managed to freeze himself for a brief period of time. But unfortunately, when he slightly moved his arms began to swing around backward so fast losing his balance. Then, he leaped into the air. "Wah!" Landing on his back. Then he was instantly sliding on the soap puddle toward the shelf that was filled with paint cans. "Wahhhhh!!"

Once he hit the shelf it began to tip over.

"Uh-oh," Flam replied, having his arms shielding his face.

*Bang!!* *Splash!!*

The shelf fell on him along with a bunch of cans of multicolored paint that splattered all over him and on the floor. "Aaaaaah!" Flam replied with his white-painted tongue out in disgust. He wiped some of the white paint off of his closed eyes as he spits some of it out of his mouth. He wiped his eyes one more time before opening them. Then, he pulled himself out of the shelf that was lying on top of him. Then, he got up on his feet, standing on the puddle of the multi-colored paint by the spilled cans. He was disgusted with how he was covered in paint. He noticed a roll of paper towel above him and shoved it to his face, wiping it clean so he could see better. As soon as he removed it. He noticed a sink in the basement.

What he didn't know was that Applejack was kneeling beside the AC electrical box and the pincers were connected to the pipes behind the sink.

Flam thought it would be good to use water to clean himself up. But when he placed his hands on the faucets.

*Bzzzz!!*

"Agh!! Ahhh!!" he was suddenly electrocuted. Shaking massively as his body was surrounded by electrical sparks.

Applejack decided to turn up the electricity.

"Agh!! Ahh!!" Flam's hair stud upon his head and mustache. "Ahh!!"

"AHHH!!!! AHHH!!!!" He was briefly turned into his skeleton form with his jaws dropping a couple of times screaming like a girl.

Then Applejack turned off the AC electrical box and ran off. Luckily, she had safety boots on so she could go up the stairs covered in nails.

As soon as the electric box was off Flam was still trembling due to electricity with his eyes widened. He lets go of the faucets as he still shakes as if he was having a seizure. He fell on his knees before falling backward. "Ah!!" Letting out a yelp.

Flam was pouring cold water on his singed forehead with water he found in the fridge "Ah that hurts! Oh, I'm gonna feel good getting their cider this year!"

He said pouring more water on his forehead.

Down in the basement, poor Flam was still shaking and steaming from the electrocution he had endured. He weakly crawled around the crate area where he sees a hanging rope in a distance. He was whimpering weakly. Then, he got up on his feet still shaking in shock. He slowly walked toward the hanging rope from another trapdoor before him.

"Flim?" he whimpered in a trembling tone. He looked at the rope carefully before placing his hand on it. He pulled it lightly. He looked up in the hole curiously. He tested the rope again by pulling it again. This is what he was hoping for. To make sure that the rope was tied to something solid so he could climb up to the first floor. He pulled it a couple of times again to test it again and it worked. "Heh heh." He chuckled with two other pulls.

Feeling confident of climbing up the rope, he replied, "I'm coming up!"

Then Flam jumped up to climb on the rope, but unfortunately, his feet only fell back on the floor and due to his weight, he noticed that the rope began to fall from the ceiling. He looked up and noticed that the rope was actually tied around a 100-pound bag of cement powder which was falling down fast toward his head.

"Uh Oh."

*Poof!!*

The cement powder hits him in the face and caused him to fall on the ground, spreading flowing dust around him.

The bag popped opened spilling most of the powder on him. Flam was laid on the ground for a moment, but then he sat up now covered in powder.

"I'm gonna murder this family. Achoo!!" He sneezed due to the powder dust-up in his nose. He had enough and started setting things up creating his own step-up ladder-like tower, so he could get out of the basement. He had been carefully piling some of the large possible sturdy items on top of one another, leveling them up to the hole. Last but not least, he took a metal bucket off of the wall and placed it by the bottom of his tower.

"Yes!" he replied.

It wasn't easy to climb, but Flam was nearly out When he was halfway out of the basement as he held onto the edge of the floor. He suddenly felt his tower falling off of him, scattering all over the floor. Now, poor Flam was hanging onto the edge of the hole wriggling his legs in the air. "Agh! Ahh!" whimpering with sobbing sounds.

"Hey were upstairs idiots!!" Apple Bloom shouted.

When Flim heard that he headed to the stairs and saw Flam and helped him out of the hole he was stuck in. Then as they tried to go upstairs Flim stopped him "Wait. This could be a trap. Watch this." He looked up the stairs and shouted, "Let's get them." He pressed his back against the wall and stomped his feet to make running step noises on a stair.

Apple Bloom heard it and tossed one paint can that was tied to the stair rail with a yarn. The paint can be swung down at them, but it missed them. Then, Flim shouted "Oh! They busted me right in my mouth, Flam. That's one."

"Don't worry, Flim!" he replied with a grin, "I'll get them!" Then, he made a couple of footing step noises on a stair.

Applejack now hearing the steps, took another paint can and tossed it down. The paint can swinged by them missing them.

They were snickering "Ow! Right in the schnozz!" Flam said grabbing the paint can to stop it from swinging as he and Flim chuckled hard. Their plan actually worked this time.

"That's two. Now come on let's get them."

Then, they began to run up the stairs, but then Big Mac held up a long large heavy black pipe over his head. Its sides had to be tied up to the rail with two ropes, so it could swing equally. Then he swung it down.

Flim and Flam suddenly noticed the pipe swinging at them with their eyes widened as they stopped running.

"Oops," Flam said.

*Bang!!*

"Ahhhh!!"

The swinging pipe hits them causing the screaming idiots to fall off the stairs, and they both fell into the trapdoor by the entrance of the house landing on their backs on the floor of the basement. They lay on the floor, paralyzed in shock and pain, looking up in the ceiling.

"That's… three…" Flam said weakly.

Apple Bloom used shears to cut the ropes that left the pipe hanging, causing it to fall and roll down the stairs. Then, the pipe was sent falling toward Flim and Flam

They noticed it as Flim said in a whimper, "No…"

*Clang!!*

"That's… four…" Flam said in a weak painful tone.

Down in the basement, Flim and Flam had been spending a while, building the same tower that Flam had constructed earlier.

"Come on Flim," Flam said.

"Flam, are you sure this is safe?" Flim asked.

"Yep, I've worked all of the kinks, She's Solid as a rock," Flam said. They began climbing on the tower carefully. It wasn't as sturdy as Flam claimed. But when they finally got out of the hole, they heard the tower collapsing on the floor behind them.

"Like a rock, huh?" Flim said sarcastically.

Then, they heard Applejack's voice from the second floor. "Hey! Do you guys give up? Have you had enough pain?"

Flam heard her and replied, "Never!"

Apple Bloom, Applejack, and Big Mac where in Applejack's room they used the rope near Applejack's window and tied it to her bed and all went down with it

Flim and Flam finally made it to Applejack's room and saw the rope near the window. They looked outside.

"Nice night for a neck injury." Apple Bloom said.

Come on, Flam."

Flam noticed Flim climbing down the rope, "Uh. I dunno."

"I said, come on!" he urged. "Come on, you big sissy!"

Then, Flam started to climb down after him whimpering in fear like a baby because he's afraid of heights. Then Flam smelled something.

"Flim. Do you smell aftershave?"

That's not aftershave that's kerosene. The rope is soaked in it." Flim said.

"Now why would anybody soak a rope in kerosene?" Flam asked.

Then Granny Smith came out who was hiding outside this whole time and lit a match she had.

"Hey, Flim and Flam! You won't be getting our Cider this year." She said lighting up the rope.

"Go up!" Flim shouted.

" Waah!" Flam shouted.

The blaze was conducting to the wet rope and began rising up fast towards them. They began climbing up on the rope as fast as they could before the flame gets to their feet. But the flame had caught up to Flim's feet as they were burning his shoes. He caught up to Flam who was a slow climber. They tried climbing back up, but the flame was catching up quickly to them and the rope was getting too hot to hold on to. So, they have no choice but to let go.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" They shouted.

*BANG!!!!!*

They landed on the ground knocked out.

The whole Apple Family cheered and called the cops to report a break in. The police came and arrested Flim and Flam. Apple Bloom waved goodbye to them.

When the 25th came around there was Cider for everyone in the family and their friends.

Way To Sort Of Die #114: No ~~Place~~ Pain Like Home For The Holidays