1000 Ways To Die

Date: November 7, 2019
Location: Human World, Great Deal's Studio

"Look what we got for you today a fully functional folding ladder."

Well look who's on television. It's Chestnut Magnifico. She wanted to be a great star on the big screen. Instead.

"This ladder is very sturdy let me show you what I mean." Chestnut said getting on the ladder.

She instead got a job as a television shopping host. Not the best way to show what talent you got at acting but it paid well. She had to start somewhere though right. Well, there was one problem with Chestnut. She.

*Clank!!*

"Waa!!"

*Bang!!" Clang!!*

Was a clutz. The ladder fell that she was standing on. "Ow!!" She was the most accident-prone shopping host anyone has ever seen.

Everyone saw her live and laughed at what happened to her. They even put a compilation online of her random accidents she's had. She hated everyone that made fun of her. She was famous for all the wrong reasons. She looked up online checking to see how to deal with her problem and even though she tried everything the websites told her to do she would always mess up miserably. We have a human named Derpy who is part of a group that helps with issues like this that can tell us more about it.

"A lot of stuff can happen in life. I've heard many stories of people actually having stuff happen to them on live T.V. I've heard of lights blowing out, power outages, letting out a swear word come out, and lots of injuries. Pretty much what we say in our group. We just don't know what went wrong."

Knowing what you now know about Chestnut maybe you think they would fire her. Well, that's some wishful thinking. People loved watching her get hurt. However, they didn't want her anymore. She had a contract though with the company saying she was able to stay for another three months.

"You fire me then you'll be in serious legal trouble! I hope you have a good lawyer!" She would tell the people working with her.

They didn't want her to get hurt anymore so after another incident she had they decided to make her try to sell a onesie. That product was perfect there was no way anyone can get hurt with that. Chestnut, however, was a master of mishap.

"This onesie is known as the Wonder Onesie. It's comfortable and you can move around very freely. If you order now, we will also throw in these aroma therapy candles." Chestnut said getting close to the candles and...

*Fwoosh!!*

"Woah!!! Ahhh!!! Help!!! It's on fire!!!"

The onesie she was wearing caught fire due to the candles. The people tried to put her out, but the water extinguisher was already used up with the other problems Chestnut had before. Yeah, it wasn't her first time on fire but.

"Ahh!! I'm on fire!!! Ahh!!!!"

It was the last time. After two minutes of struggling. She was burned to a crisp.

Nurse Redheart how did this women die.

"When this human caught fire, her skin started peeling away. Her hair follicles started burning away and her internal organs started failing. She had pain, shock, and dehydration which is a painful way to die."

Chestnut wanted to be a star. However, she was her own worst enemy. In the end the only the thing she had to fear...Was fear herself. Hey everybody the Wonder Onesie is now 50% off.

Way To Die #120: Onesie & Donesie