1000 Ways To Die

Date: March 6, 2016
Location: Human World, Canterlot High

Here we are in the human world…

“Oh yes. Right there.”

Well, what have we got here? We have two high schoolers who can’t keep their hands to themselves. Meet Alizarin Bubblegum & Celery Stalk. Right now, Celery had his hand in Alizarin’s pants and under her white panties fingering her. They were behind a tree, and it looked like everything was perfectly fine.

“Hey, stop that right now!”

Alizarin and Celery turned around and saw Vice Principal Luna. She was not very happy what they were doing on school grounds. They both stopped and Luna walked off disgusted. Alizarin was wet and Celery was hard. They needed a place to get off. Then Alizarin saw something. She tugged on Celery’s shirt and pointed at a giant basketball balloon left behind from one of the school’s pep rallies.

They thought it was great place for a once in a lifetime quicky. Alizarin found the zipper and unzipped it quicker the Celery’s pants zipper. When she stuck her head inside there was a surprise.

“This is so…cool.” Alizarin’s voice sounded like Alvin the chipmunk.

Celery laughed and stuck his head in. “Wow…It’s full a helium.” Celery’s voice also sounded like one of the chipmunks.

They went inside zipped up the zipper and began making out with each other. Wrestling with their tongues for dominance. They were in their own laughing gas love chamber, and everything seem to be going fine. No one would disturb them here. Once they were about to take each other’s clothes off. They felt a bit lightheaded. These two should have hit the books a bit more. A helium filled place may be fun to play in. You just can’t live in it. Sci-Twi what is happening to them.

“The helium inside the basketball was making them go under anesthesia. They are slowly getting anesthetized shutting down brain functions. At the same time, they’re asphyxiating, and that is slowly going to produce a disorder of neurotransmissions in the brain. That is going to shut higher order centers in the brain, and lead to death.”

“Oh, I don’t feel so good.” Alizarin said.

“Yeah. Me too. Maybe we should. *cough* Get some air.” Celery said.

Their fun in this ball was not going the way they thought it would. They began to look for the zipper.

“Where *cough* is the zipper!” Celery shouted.

“I *cough* don’t know!” Alizarin shouted back.

These two spent their last moments disoriented, unable to find the zipper. They began coughing violently and unable to breathe.

*Plop*

Alizarin fell to the ground dead.

“Keep *cough* looking.” Celery said.

Celery was still looking for the zipper. Then after one more minute trying to find the zipper…

*Plop*

He fell to the ground dead next to Alizarin.

These two learned a valuable lesson today. Having fun in a giant basketball balloon is a bad idea. Celery wanted to score with Alizarin. He shoots but…He didn’t score.

Way To Die #146: Gasketball