1000 Ways To Die

Date: June 17, 2009
Location: Canterlot Apartments, Rooftop

Well, look at this jackass.

"Yes, I Brain Mixer have created a death ray!!!"

Everypony this is Brain Mixer. He loved pulling wings off flies. He creates machines that destroy anything in its way. Mostly insects. He could have gone to college but decided to just make weapons that killed. Now that he has matured nicely into a geeky antisocial misfit. He still wants to kill things. Just like his name, his Brain was a mix-up.

"This is going to be killer!!" Brain Mixer shouted.

The homemade mad scientist came up with a design for a solar ray. He called it a Death Ray. This would put the burn on anything he aimed it at.

"I am Prometheus and I give you fire!!"

Using a parabolic dish covered with heavy-duty tinfoil the sun's rays would focus into a lazer light beam of destruction.

"Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!!!" Brain Mixer laughed like the mad scientist he was.

Finally, he waits until high noon since he knew the Pegasi were going to clear all the clouds and the sun would be scorching at that time. He decides to test out his weapon on top of his apartment building.

He starts out with a toy soldier dressed liked Shining Armour that when put in the machine's path quickly goes into meltdown.

"Yeah!! How do you like that Queen Chrysalis are you pleased!!"

Then the twisted scientist turns it against the insect world. He kills the grasshoppers on the roof and the butterflies he could find. It was doomsday for these insects. Then a visit from a curious neighbor decides to see what he's doing.

"Hey buddy what's this?" He asked.

"Oh just put your hoof right there it feels good." Brain Mixer tries to trick the neighbor to put his hoof in the machine's path.

The neighbor falls for it and gets burnt. "Ow!!"

"You're so stupid." Brain Mixer said laughing.

"Dick face!!" The neighbor shouted leaving.

All this burning and killing has made Brain Mixer hungry and he puts a bean can on the machine to burn.

"Yeah!! Burn you-!!"

*BAM!!!*

"AHHH!!!!"

The can exploded in his face knocking Brain Mixer out.

*Sizzle!!!!*

What's that sizzling noise? Something smells like something is burning...Oh, it's Brain Mixer. His head landed in the path of his machine and the back of his head was getting burnt. The sun made the machine have a scorching sunbeam that went up to 6000 degrees. Now that Brain Mixer is in its path it was like running a molten piece of steel. Right through his brain.

After two minutes it exploded his arteries and destroyed a fatal amount of brain tissue. Looks like he killed himself

Brain Mixer thought killing things was fun. But in the end. We got to have all the fun...Watching him die.

Way To Die #58: Brain Dead