What feels like a year and then some passes by—in all actuality, it was only five seconds—and the blinding gayser beam diminishes finally. You'd expect to feel something different with all of this build-up, but you feel exactly the same as you had mere minutes ago. Your hand still wrapped around the dark omnihorse's horn, you blink away the spots dotting your vision and see... a not-so-dark omnihorse. Your ears ringing and you no longer feeling threatened—this horse turned into a midget for some reason, and we all know they're not at all scary—you let go of its rod and take a few steps back.

"What in the holy fuck just happened." You state, raising the palms of your hands as you look at them. Nothing. Nothing feels different; was it supposed to do that? I mean, it affected the living shit outta the now-midge-omnihorse, but you? Jack and shit, and Jack left town apparently. Your gaze turns up from your grabbers towards to the sextet that probably just tried killing you. "No, seriously. The shit just happened?" A shared awkward look is aimed at you, for like, a second before they look towards who you assumed to be Galaxy Hair. Cool, you're not important enough for them to care about your well being. You purse your lips. Well, fuck you too, guys.

Firefly flashes her horn and the crown of pure ugly-ass disappears somewhere, as do the necklaces the other five friends had sported. Trotting up, the wiki-says-mulberry-but-is-actually-lavender-or-something horse speaks with an aura of command. "Nightmare Moon, your reign of terror over Equestria ends now!" Her shout reverberates around the entirety of the castle, the aged rock and cement groan under the weight of her words. Also because they're old as fuck and old as fuck buildings do that.

Let's just say it was Firefly's voice because dramatic reasons.

The quivering form of the once-villain takes a few steps back from both you and Firefly, her eyes glancing between both of your forms. "I-I... I am so sorry..." Her voice is quiet, much unlike the seriously annoying other-her. So, yeah, props to that, you figure. Less of a headache. "I n-never intended to hurt anyp-anyone." She murmurs, her eyes brimming with tears, lingering on you for a second longer than your comrade-in-arms.

Hey, you did just as much as these six, you deserve that much. "Of course you didn't. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been trapped on the moon for a millennia, right?" Firefly's tone is laced with something sickeningly sweet. Like, sweet as fuck. She completely 180's as her cutesy face morphs into a glare and a snort escapes her nostrils. "Oh wait, that's exactly what happened." She rolls her eyes, looking over her shoulder to her four friends plus that white horse. "Can't believe it took these idiots to help me stop you." She huffs out quietly, shaking her head with a ghost of a smile.

By ghost of a smile, I mean her smile died like, two days after she was born. It's come back to haunt her.

You would take offence, but she was very clearly referring to those five standing idly by at the entrance. Still. As in they haven't fucking moved since they fired their beam of rainbows and artists' dreams. Applehat said something along the lines of being the elements of fart shit, but nothing else happened. You don't fuckin' know, you're like, a good twenty feet away. Can't exactly make the best judgement calls right now.

You smack your lips, looking down at the foodstuffs you'd brought along with you. "I just can't believe my pancakes saved our asses." You let out without thought and you hear a groan from Firefly. Probably in agreement, so yeah, you saved the day, Anon. Good job.

You lower yourself, turning your head back towards the midget and prepare to offer more words of wisdom. "So, you know where Galaxy Hair went? She owes me a buck forty for those 'cakes." Your question is abruptly ignored, however. A blinding light showers the interior of the castle—a golden shower per-se—causing you to clench your eyes shut; you grimace. Blackness, minus that red shit you see behind your lids whenever you're looking at a light, fills your vision and you struggle to reopen them.

"Ah, dearest sister. We see that your arrival was a success?" A new voice enters into the mix, one you're somewhat-but-not-really familiar with. Is it that fuckin' teacher? You swore you'd pay her back next Tuesday; it is way too early for a mafia call. The light before your closed eyes dissipates entirely and you slowly open them. The entire inside of the castle is filled with the light of day. The outside world is filled with the light of day. The—fuck it. Everything was filled with the light of day.

Before you, in all of her magical and white as fuck glory, stands Princess Cadence.

Her seriously fucking pointy tiara gleams with the sun shining in its fold. Directly into your eyes. You blanch and move a foot to the left. "Well, fuck you, too." You mutter out, raising a hand to shy away from the glimmering royal-wear.

"Princess Celes-er... your majesty!" Firefly's eyes widen and she lowers herself into a bow. A bow? Bow? Shit. You had to have failed English class, didn't you? Whatever.

Princess Cadence and her pastel as fucking fuck hair moves softly—it always moves softly, it just moved even softlyer this time—as she chuckles. "Ah, Twilight Sparkle. My ever faithful student. Please, let me have a moment with my darling sister." As she says this a second time, just like the first, no one is fucking surprised. I mean, there's a goddamned book on this shit, the fact she has a sister I mean.

Gasp, sister?! What a fuckin' sham, I swear.

"O-of course, your majesty. An-anything for you!" Some-fucking-how, she bows/bows deeper into the floor. Any more and you swear she'd just phase right through the thing. Probably can, too. What with her unihorse powers and all. What happened to 'take-shit-from-no-one Firefly'? You liked her more than 'totally-a-bitch Firefly'. You raise yourself from your sitting on heals stance—you goddamn slav—and take several steps towards the omnihorse duo.

A harsh whispering stops you in your tracks. "Stop!" Glancing over your shoulder, you see Firefly glaring up at you from the ground. The dusty ass ground. Ew. "The Princess asked for a moment to with her sis-"

"Yeah, don't care." You flip her off and continue walking. Eventually, you stand right next to the hugging two. You'd hate to break this moment apart—you really wouldn't—and you cough ~~politely~~ loudly to grab their attention. Luckily enough, that works out for you! "So, yeh, seeing as how I saved the world and all, I need like, a few hundred bucks to pay off a debt that you seriously fuckin' reminded me of."

Princess Cadence and Midgemoon stare at you questioningly before you feel a grip on your leg. You look down and notice a purple aura encasing it, which is strange, because, usually, their aura shit can't touch this. You decide to ignore it and go back to talking. "Just send the money when you can, cool? Cool." You finger gun the duo as Cadence gives you a deadpan stare. Kinda reminiscent of Princess Sunburn when you first met her. Wonder how she's doing?

Your leg is suddenly jerked backwards and you nearly fall on your face, barely catching yourself with your hands. "Oof!" You let out, feeling the aura around your pant leg pull at you. You look behind you and see a struggling Firefly, horn freshly alit, pulling at you with her unihorse powers. Shit, is that what the beam did? Remove the one thing you had against these fucking horses? Humanity and its will to crush dreams and magic?

Shit, are you going to be singing songs about random shit, like, flushing the toilet now, too?! Goddammit, Firefly! Why couldn't you have waited 'till after you were done distracting Galaxy Hair?! Both Cadence and Midgemoon share a chuckle, though Midgemoon's eyes seem less mirthful and more sorrowful. Not like you could really tell, though. You're more frustrated with Firefly at the moment to bother caring. Or noticing in general. "Lemme go, you fuckin' lavender piece'a shit, these two need to pay me, stat!" Not heeding your words, you're still forced next to the mare in question as she glares up at you.

"I don't give a hoot or a damn what they 'owe', you didn't do any of the work! If anything, they should pay me! And, you entirely ignored Princess Celestia's command! That alone should have you tried for treason against the crown." Wait, these princesses are actually royalty? You shake your head, no time for that now. You're about to open your mouth, but the purple aura, once gripping your leg, clamps tightly over your mouth. She continues to speak as yet another huff escapes her. "But because we haven't had a single act of treason in the last millenia, I swear to Celestia," her voice lowers with a sigh, her eyelids lowering, "if you try any of your shit again, I will cut you instead."

Yeah, definitely favorite horse. Even though she's a cunt, she's at least consistent with it.

...

...

...

So, what now? Do you just sit there and wait for this hug-fest to be over between the two sisters? Do you wait for Firefly to give you the all-clear? What?

Well, whatever. After this shit's over with, you're moving out. Fuck these horses—'cept Firefly—and fuck this town. Ungrateful sonsabitches, the lot of them. You save the day and this is the thanks you get? Basically tied down with Firefly but not in the married way but you've-become-a-total-bitch way?

Well, screw you too, Horseville. Try asking for your help the next time something like this happens! They'll miss you then, that's for damn sure.

Motherfucker... you could've been sleeping in today, but noooo. This was a fuckin' crepe-y day.

Author's Note

(AKA: The not half-assed, actual, legitimate ending)

Story time; I remember when I started writing this story. It was the first chapter, y'know? As everyone finished it, this somehow blew up and I was wondering fuckin' why? It wasn't obvious to me until various comments suggested they couldn't wait for me to continue.

I was seriously fucking confused at this point. So, I scrolled back up and spotted, in all of its orange ugly beauty, the 'Incomplete' tag.

I realized I done fucked up. Y'see, originally, this story was supposed to be a one-shot, but, me being me, too prideful to admit my mistakes, I decided to continue anyway and turned what was once a decent one-shot into a really annoying shit-fic. So, cool. Congrats me.

Motherfucker...

So yeah, I'm just now swallowing my pride and admitting that this was my fuck up. An unintentional, good/bad story. Because seriously, guys. If I'd've known this would've blown up when and how it did, I seriously would've kept it a one-shot.

I don't do so good under pressure.

Also, I lied, I did half-ass it.

You've been kekked.

Peace, fuckers.

I'll go over this shit later maybe. I don't fuckin' know, I'm twenty feet away from this thing already.