Serious Sam - My Little Encounter

The farm was completely overrun when Sam, Twilight, Rainbow and Starlight arrived. Harpies were harassing the Apple family, who couldn’t fight back with their limited resources. Throwing apples at monsters only worked with careful aiming. Rainbow flew in immediately to deal with the harpies, while Starlight took care of the headless zombies. Of course Sam didn’t stand idly either. He found a shotgun resting against a barrel. He joined the fight by blasting a headless zombie into pieces.

“Thank Celestia you came!” blurted out Applejack “I thought we were goners for a moment there.”

“Yeah, let’s make these monsters goners!” Rainbow shouted enthusiastically while uppercutting a harpy.

The family went back to throwing apples at the monsters. Sam, after blasting a gnaar’s head open, saw that and it perplexed him.

“Wait, what are you doing?” He blurted out “Are you trying to fight them with apples?”

“What exactly do you want us to do?” Asked Applebloom, while loading a bucket of apples into a big improvised slingshot.

“This!” Sam then picked up a hammer from the ground and thrown it right into a gnaar’s eye, which broke apart in a large gooey splash. The ponies winced at the sight.

“Or maybe” Sam continued, “just kick them in the face. I hear horses can kick pretty nicely.”

“Well, I don’t know about you” Granny Smith chipped in, “but I don’t wanna get close to those things!”

“In that case,” Rainbow shouted from above, “I could use some help up here!”

They saw another flock of harpies coming in. This time however, they were carrying kamikazes.

“Incoming!” Rainbow warned the others.

Sam looked up and knew what was going to happen. He looked around and got an idea.

“Hey, you unicorn gals!” He pointed at Starlight and Twilight. “Take care of the falling kamikazes! You, rainbow horse! Take care of the harpies.” He then stepped up to Big Mac. “What do you say big fella. Do you think you can carry a valiant knight into battle?"

Big Mac looked surprised for a second, but then he gave a cheeky grin. “Eeyup.” He said.

The others were holding the enemy back nicely. Starlight shot down the falling suicide bombers and Rainbow smacked up the harpies. Twilight was just standing, looking around, like she was afraid. Starlight noticed that and couldn’t help but comment.

“Aren’t you gonna help us?” She asked.

“No, I think you’re doing fine without me.”

“Come on Twilight, your power could really come in handy right now.”

“Oh no, no, no. How would it look like for the princess of friendship to fight in a battle?”

Starlight paused for a moment, to give Twilight a disappointed look. “Seriously?”

Twilight just smiled nervously. Then she saw a small flock of harpies fly in from behind the barn. They sneaked in while Rainbow was busy beating their brethren and managed to get dangerously close to the ponies. And they were carrying kamikazes.

“Look out!” Twilight shouted, as the harpies dropped their load simultaneously. There was no time, Twilight blasted one of the falling kamikazes with a laser, which then promptly exploded. And because they were all really close together, it caused a chain reaction and the entire flock exploded. Blood, body parts, feathers and dead harpies showered down onto the battlefield.

“Nice shot!” Starlight complimented Twilight, but Twilight wasn’t as impressed. She just had her first kill. And that thought haunted her.

But there was no time to waste mourning. The monsters were still coming, though their numbers were dwindling. Suddenly, Sam riding on Big Mac’s back crashed out from inside the barn.

“Come on my trusty steed!” Sam shouted. “The battlefield is calling us!”

“Eeyup!” Big Mac replied and began running towards the incoming monsters. He trampled many of them, while Sam was bashing along with Twilight’s sceptre. Then he turned around and picked off some of the survivors with his shotgun. A bull jumped out in front and charged at them. Big Mac charged back at it. Sam saw what was happening and grabbed a pitchfork from a conveniently placed pile of hay. He let out a loud drawn out yeehaw, and with the right timing, he stabbed the bull with the pitchfork, killing it instantly.

That was the last one of them. Everyone gathered in front of the barn. Rainbow panting from kicking so many harpies in the face, Applebloom unloading a wooden board with nails in it, from the slingshot, Starlight blowing the smoke off her horn and Sam and Big Mac fist-hoof bumping. Only Twilight was distraught.

“Alright, that was a lot of fun,” said Sam, “but I gotta go. I’ve got a forest to wage through.”

“Wait,” Applejack interjected, “are you going to go alone?”

“Yeah, I always do.”

“I reckon somebody should go along with you.”

“Nah, you should stay here. Somebody’s gotta take care of further attacks.”

“He’s right,” Starlight stepped in, “we can’t just leave Ponyville like this.”

“Right,” Sam agreed, “I’m just gonna...”

“But I think Twilight should go with him.” Starlight continued.

“What?” Twilight yelped.

“We can’t leave Sam to himself either. He might get lost in the forest.”

“But I can’t just go into the middle of the battlefield!”

Starlight smirked. “You’ll be fine. Besides, Fluttershy said they captured Discord with some magical beams. I think your help will be needed.”

Twilight sighed. “Fine.” She said and teleported next to Sam, who has already stepped into the forest. “You’ll need somebody to break the magical chains on Discord. So I’ll just tag along.”

“Fine with me,” Sam replied, “but I’m not gonna comb innards out of your hair.”

They walked silently between the trees. They haven’t encountered any monsters for a while, so they had time to talk. They didn’t really take advantage of that, though. Sam was busy looking between the trees, preparing for an ambush and Twilight was staring in front of her hooves, thinking back to the fight at the farm. Sam looked at her for a moment and saw her distraught face.

“You know,” he said, “you really don’t need to be here. I can take care of it myself.”

“No, no,” she said, “you’ll need someone to break Discord out of the spell.”

“Fair enough.”

“I’ll take care of Discord, you take care of the monsters.”

“Not a very fair way to cooperate. If you’re here, you might as well use your forehead-gun.”

“No, I don’t want to take anymore lives.”

Sam laughed. “It’s not like you have a choice.”

“But I’m the princess of friendship! The princess of friendship can’t just go around killing things. That wouldn’t be very friendly, now would it?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Mental isn’t very friendly either. He could use some friendship, right in-between his eyes.”

“But, isn’t there another way?”

Sam laughed again. “No. Some people are just assholes by nature. They’re not going to bend to the power of friendship.”

“I used to think that too, but then I made so many unlikely friends. Discord is a perfect example! He used to be a very nasty being. But he changed.”

“Look, I’m sure that’s true, but you got to remember. We are dealing with savage monsters, cybernetic mutants, cloned alien beasts, brainwashed mercenaries, magical monstrosities, the undead and whatever the hell Mental is.”

“But...

“I’m sure some people can be persuaded. But sometimes, when somebody wants mayhem, you just gotta bring it to them... And shove it right up their ass!” Sam explained and made an upwards motion with his fist.

Twilight fell silent.

“Ooh, would you look at that.” Sam broke the serious atmosphere, as he spotted a chainsaw in a small clearing. “What brings you here, my love?”

Twilight looked at him funny for a second, but then she saw green eyes light up in the darkness.

“Timberwolves!” She shouted.

“What?” Sam was confused for a second, then he embedded his chainsaw into the head of the charging timberwolf, which spewed out myriads of splinters. He paused for a second, to read a message in his cranial computer. “Oh, I get it. Timber-wolves!”

A pack of timberwolves charged at Sam, from between the trees. Then a pack of skeletons have also charged at Twilight from behind.

“You take care of the kleers,” Sam suggested, “I’ll take care of the lumber-work!” He then revved up his chainsaw and slashed away at the timberwolves.

Twilight looked at the kleer skeletons charging at her. She was scared and she didn’t want to repeat what happened at the farm. But she stood her ground. She charged up her horn and blew one of them into pieces. She looked at the skull landing in front of her hooves. She took a step backwards and then looked at the rest of the kleers, with a newfound determination. She began blasting them apart, one by one.

The kleer had no chance against Twilight’s magical beams. Soon, a carpet of bones covered the forest floor. After blasting apart the last one, Twilight looked back at how Sam was doing. He was doing fine. He sliced at the timberwolves’ feet and shouted “Timber!” each time a dismembered timberwolf fell to the ground. Twilight flew in to help him.

After the cloud of splinters settled, they heard Discord’s cry, followed by an enormous lightning across the sky.

“Discord!” Twilight yelled, then ran between the trees. Sam ran after her.

Twilight stopped, as the forest come to a clearing. There was the ruined castle of the two sisters in front of them. Lightnings sparked from a bright light inside the castle, with an occasional bigger one followed by a painful yelp from Discord.

“We’re here.” Said Twilight. “Oh, I hope we’re not too late!”