The Nightmare and Me

The day after Nightmare's birthday was sunny and bright. It smelled god awful. Then I realized that Todd isn't litterbox trained.

I facepalmed and scooped Todd off my bed. I carried him into the kitchen, hesitant to leave him alone. One thing I didn't count on is Nightmare making breakfast.

"Wh-what are you doing in here?" I asked, alarmed.

"Cooking. I was hungry," she gave me an odd look. "Hey, what's that behind your back?"

"Breakfast." I blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"It doesn't smell like bacon," she smirked and lit her horn, bringing Todd to her full attention.

"Yes. That is a new form of bacon. It's ah, UNCOOKED! Yeah, it's uncooked European bacon." I blinked at my own stupid response.

"No friggin' way. I've seen The Fox and the Hound." Nightmare shook her head in disbelief.

"Yeah, Europeans eat fox bacon."

"Well then Europeans are weird. I just want to snuggle and wuggle and cuddle and-" Nightmare rubbed her cheek against Todd's face.

The poor little baby mewled with hunger.

"Hey Nightmare, go Google what baby foxes eat." I said absentmindedly.

"What's Google? Laptop?" she said in confusion.

I literally facepalmed. I hadn't told her about the awesome power of the internet yet.

"A laptop is the black rectangle underneath the couch. Use your magic to flip the top half up and poke the power button with your horn." I instructed, for I am an internet wizard.

"Got it," Nightmare teleported herself into the living room.

"You know you can just walk!" I informed the smug black cheeseball that calls itself an alicorn.

"Yeah, I know. but that's boooo-ring." she drawled.

I heard something hum and then with a loud crunch and an electric-y sounding noise.

A moment later, nightmare called out from the living room. "I opened it up, except there's no power button and it's smoking."

Cursing under my breath, I dared to step outside the kitchen.

I saw Nightmare sitting on the couch with the computer on her lap. Except it was snapped cleanly in two and it was on fire.

"Dammit, Nightmare!" I exclaimed.

She turned her innocent blue eyes over to me. "I opened it."

"Pet foxes usually eat like, dog food and crap. But I would think that baby foxes eat milk, like baby milk." Nightmare read from the living room.

I bought a new laptop, a new one, and taught Nightmare how to use it. The old one was a piece of shi- crap anyway.

"I'm gonna do an internet!" Nightmare grinned and hit the enter button.

In a split second, I glanced at the search bar.

"Oh dear god, no!" I lunged for the laptop.

I was not fast enough.

"Hehe...hehehe....HARHARHAR!" Nightmare snorted.

I stood up. "How is Slenderman funny?" I asked her, disgusted.

She gave me one of her odd looks. "Slenderman? I searched for 'slender manes'. I want a haircut," she felt her starry mane. "It looks like it's getting a little long... and I want one that doesn't make me look like Snooki."

How she knew of Snooki I did not know.

"Um, okay. We'll get you a haircut soon. Todd was expensive." I glanced at the sleeping fox in the corner. The bowl of milk I gave him was half empty.

"How's Bacon doing?" she asked without taking her eyes from the screen.

"Sleeping."

"ERMAHGERD."

"What?"

"Look what I found."

I examined the screen. "I happen to like mashed potatoes."

"So do I."

I went back to what I was doing.

Cleaning fox crap up.

It smells lovely, if anyone wants to know.

"Hey Ana!"

"WhhhhhAAAAAAAAT?" I whined loudly.

"I'm famous! I Googled myself and awesomeness appeared. I'm truly the sexiest pony."

I couldn't see her face, but by her tone I could tell she was smug.

"Where'd you learn that word?"

"I can hear you talking to yourself at night."

Point taken.

"Er mah gerd, there's a music video for sexy?" she gasped.

"When I walk on by, girls be lookin' like damn he fly." I recited.

The music started playing.

I paused for a moment; I didn't know the other part of the lyrics. It came to my favorite part soon after.

"When I walk on the spot, yeah, this is what I see, okay. Everybody stops starin' at me. I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it- I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!" I proceeded to break out into a geeky dance on the white linoleum floor.

When the song ended, we jammed to The Living Tombstone and Wooden Toaster. Nightmare particularly liked 'Rainbow Factory'.

Hours later, it was ten at night. Nightmare was still Googling random crap such as hipsters and Dolan.

"Alright, kiddo, time for bed." I clapped my hands, snapping her out of the Internet-induced coma.

"Wha?" she blinked.

"Bed."

"But I'm not tired!" she whined.

"Go outside and fly-slash-run around the house once. Then come in." I instructed my pony.

She reluctantly closed the laptop and slid it under the couch. Nightmare plodded out the backdoor and spread her black wings.

Instead of flying around the house, she went straight up towards the moon.

The moon was bright tonight, the air was surprisingly humid for late September. Wind tossed dead leaves from the trees in the light of the moon.

With her hooves stretched straight in front of her, I realized what she was trying to do.

It was kinda strange that in the past year she's lived with me, I have not noticed once that her flank was a flawless coal black.

The blue armor glinted, throwing off sparkles into the velvety sky.

She paused, lighting her horn with deep blue magic. A tendril of the same hue wove it's way toward the moon.

I stood, watching, for the whole ordeal.

The tendril reached the moon and changed color drastically. The moon turned blood red in seconds, highlighting the craters.

In a flash of light, Nightmare glided down from her altitude. She snapped her wings shut and trotted forward to control her momentum.

She slightly turned her head to check her flank. I don't really know how to describe it other than it looked like the Cutie Mark from the show.

I picked her up, grunting. She was about a hundred pounds (that's about seven stones, mind you).

"That's awesome Nightmare. I'm taking you to bed now." I whispered to her as she slowly closed her eyes.

"Night, Ana."

"Night, Nightmare." I kissed her forehead lovingly.