Princess Luna's Dirty Secret

The next morning, Luna woke Derpy up. The two had dreamt of only each other and love. Derpy had to start on her mail route though, and Luna had to sleep in the day. Celestia wasn't in the castle, she must've left for that huge party at Sugarcube Corner for Angel Bunny's Birthday. Psssh, I'm not going to that party, where everyone will judge me, Derpy thought. And Luna hadn't ever been invited to a party before. So the two had to continue a regular day. But Luna didn't want to, the two had to have a steady relationship and get to know each other.

"Derpy, can't you ditch your mailmare job for today?" Luna begged. Derpy rolled her eyes and laughed.

"So is that a no?"

"Well, the thing is that I need bits and I need to work to earn them. So how about after I'm done with my mail route we meet here in the evening and hang out a bit in Ponyville before midnight, so Celestia won't yell at you again?" Derpy suggested while brushing her teeth. Luna thought that plan was perfect, she made the bed and headed for the bathroom, after saying bye to Derpy.

With Derpy gone, Luna was absolutely bored. Usually in the morning Celestia would be there for her. But Luna had to stop her affair with her own sister. Luna thought for a minute, she had to call Vinyl because she ditched her that night!

"Hello? Vinyl?" Luna whispered into the phone, afraid of Vinyl's reply.

"Luna? What the hell you want, you slut? I can't believe I saw you with Derpy!" Vinyl yelled full of fury.

"Derpy? Well, she's my marefriend now! What's your freaking problem? Did you think we were serious, you bi-"

"Don't call me bad names! I don't do a different mare each freaking night! What ever, now I don't even think we can be friends! You're just somepony that I used to know!" Vinyl yelled and hung up. Luna was confused, did that mare actually think that we were going together?

"What the hell! We just used each other once in a while, and I'm gonna stop my ways! Fine then, I'm just somepony! Somepony who's a princess! ARG!" Luna roared to herself. She was going to give Scratch a piece of her mind!

"That unicorn just thinks she can spread rumours 'bout me! UGH! Why do I have to do all this crap! I should've known that I must suffer consequences!" Luna was going to fly all the way to Scratch's apartment in Ponyville.

Derpy was distracted with dirty thoughts of Luna in her mind, as she delivered mail. She couldn't wait for their date that evening.

"Only one last package for Vinyl Scratch! Oh, her apartment is in Ponyville, so this won't be a long distance!" Derpy told herself. Her mail routes were going much smoother, she wasn't bumping into things that often. Huge accomplishment for Miss Hooves! Derpy flew into the lobby and found out that Vinyl lived on the 3rd floor, she took the elevator. Almost in an instant, she was at her home, Derpy rang the bell. Vinyl opened it, she looked angry, but you couldn't really tell because of those huge shades she wore.

"Package for Miss Scratch!" Derpy announced. Vinyl looked her up and down and growled as she grabbed her package.

"You're that somepony who was with Luna at the Heap!"

"No, I'm not a somepony! I'm a mailmare who has somewhere to go right now.." And with that Derpy quickly escaped into the elevator. Vinyl growled and jumped in, just as fast, and grabbed Derpy by the tail.

"You jerk! Because of you I'm heart broken! Come in here! I must show you my rage!" Vinyl pulled Derpy into her apartment and locked the door. Derpy was scared, extremely scared.

"You must pay! I loved Luna! I thought what we had was real! But you had to come in between, huh retard?" Vinyl slapped Derpy, and she started crying instantly.

"Shut up, idiot! I'm a talented DJ who is famous throughout Equestria, and you're just a retarted mailmare who makes less than minimum wage! I'm rich with bits! Why did you appeal to a princess, over me? Speak, retard!" Scratch screamed in Derpy's ear, making her whimper even more.

"I..I..I don't know... Maybe it's because I'm kind-hearted and I believe in true love? I don't care about how much bits anypony has? And I'm not a retard! That's mean to say! I was born with eyes like this.. Please, Vinyl let me go! Yes, Luna and I are together now! Just take in the truth, for once! Please don't hurt me!" Derpy pleaded while crying. Vinyl started to cry too, Derpy was such a cute, kind pony. Why was she being so mean to her?

"JUST GO!" Vinyl yelled through tears. Derpy trotted out of her apartment quickly, before the unicorn changed her mind.