The King of Coin

While I waited for my cell mate to wake, I watched the two guards walk back and forth. They were both calico like, with white, brown, and black coats, and little tufts of hair between their ears, much like myself. They had leather looking armor, but surprisingly no helmets. One of the guards had a little blue glass sphere in his forehead, which I took note of.

I looked at myself, and was immediately reminded of a coyote. Dirt brown, with white spots. My muzzle was a pale tan color. I also realized that I was wearing my outfit from when I got arrested, although slightly modified. Brown duster, and a black long sleeve shirt. For whatever reason, I didn't have any pants, though it felt okay enough. I turned my head around and saw a tail wagging. I have a tail now, huh.

My arms were pretty long, as well. When I stood up straight, and reached down, I could almost touch my heels. I glanced at my cell mate, and sighed. They were still dead asleep, but I could see a little bit of black fur. A cat person, like the guards, and most of the others.

Waiting was boring. I walked over to my cell mate, careful of my shifted balance, and nudged them with a finger. It was massive compared to the small figure. My fingers were maybe each thicker than their bicep. The cat person stirred, and stretched out, back in the air like a house cat.

Going from the figure alone, it was definitely a female. Her forehead had a small, brown, glassy sphere embedded in it, which I figure meant some sort of social status, or perhaps a racial trait. She had a black coat that faded into white on the underside of her muzzle, and the front of her neck, and chest. She had coffee color stripes on her face and around her sphere. There were stripes on her neck as well, all the same brown.

She opened her eyes, and glanced over at me. "Great, I got a mutt for a cellmate. Now I have put up with these guards, and your smell."

Rude. I sniffed, and frowned. "It's not like you smell any better. That, and there's a whole bunch of cats around. You have it easy. What's your name, fellow?"

She glared at me, and stood. She had two cloths wrapped across her chest, one a pale blue, and the other a reddish-brown. It covered her, but left her navel open. Perhaps it was humid outside, like a jungle? She had white pants, I don't know the material, with leather wrapped around them at the thighs and ankles. She had some sort of wrap around her feet that protected it, but left the claws open.

Judging from the various empty spots, I figured it was meant to have some belts with it. I blinked, then she threw her arms out. Right, the question. "My name is... King. Yours?" I held out my paw for her to shake.

She just glanced at it, then back at me. "Coffee, and if I hear one snicker from you, I'm gonna slit your throat." I didn't snicker, externally. I just blinked, and lowered my paw. Rude.

I cleared my throat, and began exploring my senses, while Coffee got down on the ground, and began doing push-ups. I realized that I could feel the vibrations in the floor as she pushed, and as the guards moved. I closed my eyes and imagined the vibrations as white waves. Coupled with my hearing and sense of smell, I could still sense exactly where the guards were, and Coffee as she switched to sit-ups.

I was like a mix of Daredevil, Toph, and Beast. It was all pretty awesome. Except for the being in a jail part. Jail. I realized that this place had the same layout as Riften Jail, which meant that... I moved over to the wall far from the bars, careful not to step on Coffee, and began inspecting it. There were two broken shackles, which meant somebody important was really lazy and designed Riften and this jail exactly alike.

I bent down, and whispered to Coffee. "Hey, I might know a way to get out of here." She stopped, and looked up at me.

"I do too. You, being a diamond dog, punch the cell door down, and beat those guards up. I don't know how or why you're here, in Calico, but these cells aren't designed for your kind." So I was in Calico, home of racist, spotted cats. Lovely.

"Huh. I was thinking more along the lines of..." I pressed my ear to the wall and tapped it. The vibrations carried forward someways, then stopped. Which mean that there was nothing behind the wall. "I push on this wall, and we escape through the sewers. This wall doesn't have anything behind it, which means it's unstable." Judging from the footsteps above, we were underground, which meant that this wall really did lead to the sewers. And who said video games weren't helpful?

Coffee stared at me. "Really? Why would there be a hole there?" Huh, déjà vu.

"Gah, trust me. Just say the word, and I will push this wall down." She squinted at me.

"No, we should do my route, then use the sewer hole as an escape. Our belongings are out there, in various chests. I'm not leaving till I grab my stuff." I nodded. That made sense. I wondered what would be in my chest, if anything. Perhaps the stuff in my backpack when I got arrested?

The thought of carrying around a small Vinyl and Twilight in Equestria made me chuckle. "Alright! So it shall be. Say the word and I will break the door down." I shouted with vigor and stood up, beating my chest twice.

I slowly realized that every cat in the jail was staring at me, some with hands over their ears. I was a bit loud, wasn't? Coffee muttered something to herself, quiet enough that I couldn't hear it, and stood. "Go, now!"

I shrugged, smiled, and charged towards the cell door. I threw my fists forwards as fast as I could, and the door exploded off of it's hinges, and rested in the middle of the room. The two guards in the room drew strange black swords. The one with the forehead sphere's hand lit ablaze with a blue fire, even as the sphere began to glow blue.

So the gem-heads are like unicorn cats, but with gems! I threw my fist forwards, and it struck the normal cat's face, throwing her back to the other wall with a crack. Oof. The other guard's fire began to glow brighter, and condense. My Skyrim sense tingled, and I jumped to the side as a ball of blue fire struck the wall.

Coffee exited the cell, and threw a fireball of her own at the guard. The ball hit, and the guard's face caught fire, causing him to scream, and collapse. "Shit!" I threw my hands up. "You didn't have to kill him, especially not like... That!"

"He was going to kill me, now let's go!" She picked up a sword and walked towards the staircase. I groaned and followed.

Two guards came at us, both brandishing long swords. Coffee met the first one's blade with a block, then slashed him across the chest. I simply grabbed the other one by her head, broke her sword arm, and threw her over the railing. She's gonna be fine. Hopefully. I thought to myself.

More guards came around the corner, and threw fireballs as they came. I blocked one with my hand, which was a dumb idea in hindsight because my palm got burnt. I cried out and ducked behind the wall. I saw that Coffee had done the same. I grabbed the now-dead body of the guard that Coffee had killed, ignoring the cat smell, and threw it down the hall.

I heard a few shouts, and the fireballs stopped. Coffee and I charged down the hall, sword and fists swinging. I tossed one guard into another, and Coffee kept stabbing them with her glowing sword. I had to ask how she did that. I got a few nicks and cuts, but nothing too worrying. They just stung, like bigger paper cuts. After putting the guards aside, I took one of their swords, placed it in its sheath, and tied it to my bag.

After we finished catching our breath, we explored the jail, and found a series of chests. I popped some open, and found... a black bag, but it wasn't my black backpack. It was clearly meant to fit around my shoulder, and strap to my waist. Like a messenger bag with a belt attached. I put it on, and opened it. Inside, organized nicely, were professional lock picks, knives, screwdrivers, rope, and all sorts of other tools. Not only that, but I still had the pony figurines! I grinned, and closed the bag again.

Coffee had, as I thought, a belt around her waist, and two around her chest, like an 'X.' She had various dark brown bottles in her belts, as well as a pouch for bits. I nodded and closed my chest. We both went back downstairs by simply jumping over.

The other prisoners began shouting at us to let them go, but we ignored them, and walked up to the wall of our cell. "Well, ready to leave this awful smelling place, and enter an even worse smelling place?"

Coffee nodded. "Anything is better than a jail. Break the wall." I pulled my hands back, and punched forwards. It hurt as they struck the stone, but they still easily broke the wall. I covered my sensitive ears as the rocks all rolled down a slope, into a very foul smelling place.

I made jazz hands. "Tada! Sewer. I actually didn't think that was going to work." Coffee glared at me, then climbed through the hole with her nose covered. I followed.

The stench was awful. My nose was so good at soaking up the stench that covering it did nothing. I groaned in pain as my eyes watered. There were two pathways on the side of the tunnel, with a canal in the center full of flowing you-know-what. We walked through that horrid place for way too long, following the sewage flow. Eventually, I gagged, and picked up my pace.

"Oh my god, I'm going to be sick if we stay here for long. Let's hurry and leave!" Coffee nodded, and we rushed through the sewers, eyes watering, until we found a door leading outside. We silently opened it, walked through, and shivered in disgust.

I shook my head. "Never again. Never."

We exited the sewers, and I got my first look at the surface of Equus. It was... not pretty. Sand dunes as far as I could see, with mirages a plenty. It reminded me of pictures I had seen of the city of Cairo in Egypt...

I turned to my companion."Hey, Coffee, what is your species name? I saw that there were some cat people with gems, like you, and some without."

Coffee turned to me, one brow lifted. "How did you get to Calico without learning who lives there?" I shrugged, to which she rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm a sekhmet, I can use life magic. The gemless ones are bastets, and the ones that look like pegasi are sphinxes."

My eyes widened. Sphinxes are a thing!? I looked up and, surely enough, there were little specks of brown flying around in the sky. That is actually really adorable.

I rolled my mind over the names I was given so far. Cats, named after mythology, living in a desert city called Calico. Definitely the Equus equivalent of Egypt. Well, at least I could figure out a rough idea of where was. The Griffon Kingdom should be to the west, and the dragons to the south-west. Which meant we were going to have to cross a huge mountain range in order to get to Equestria.

I nodded. "Okay, I think I have an idea of where we are."

I turned around, then looked upwards at Calico's wall. From our perspective, it seemed to go on to meet the clouds, a great stone monolith. As stepped back, still looking at it, the sun peeked over, creating a very 2001 effect. I whistled.

"Damn. Those cats really know how to build a wall. Trump would be jealous." I nodded in approval of the wall, while Coffee looked at me like I was crazy. I looked over at her. "Well? Lead the way. That city probably is swarming with guards trying to find us by now, and I don't want to go to prison again."

Coffee stared at me for a moment, then turned her head. "Why should I trust you?"

I thew my paws to the side. "I just broke you out of prison. Now you admit you don't trust me!? C'mmon. C'mmon? C'mmon!"

Coffee drew her sword, which quickly lit up red. "I don't trust things I don't know, and I prefer the quiet method, not the 'grab somebodies face, and throw them over the railing' method."

I rolled my eyes. "I can be sneaky when I want to! I have done dozens of robberies, and I only got caught this last time because some paranoid person put a silent alarm there. That, and half the police knew my face. Point is, I don't like being the bruiser. I can pick locks, free run, smooth talk, I can be a rogue."

Coffee sighed and pulled a scroll from her belts. "It doesn't matter that you can do those things. I prefer to be alone. That way I am the only one I have to count on in a situation."

I gave her my best puppy dog eyes. "Pleeeeease? I don't know this area well. Can we stick together, at least until I can reach somewhere familiar?"

"How did you get here if it isn't familiar?"

"I was kinda wondering that as well. When I got arrested, do you remember them actually putting me in the cell? Because I don't. There's a big gap between today, and... yeah, no I can't remember the last time these grubby paws stole something. So you say you don't trust people you don't know? Well, hey! I don't know myself either! We can figure it out as a team!"

Okay, not exactly a lie, but still pretty dirty. Coffee gave me a dead stare that was becoming increasingly familiar, and unrolled her scroll. "Fine. I'll take you to Dragon Roost, and we'll split from there." I looked at the scroll, and saw a map of the Griffon Kingdom, and the continent of Mammalia around it. To the west was Calvarania, which Equestria was on. It was like the Americas, and Afro-Eurasia.

I looked at Dragon Roost and saw, with delight, that it was next to a country called High Roc, spelled like the giant bird. Both my Elder Scrolls, and Zelda parts were happy with that name. Bird pun meant bird people.

Coffee trailed her finger across the map. "Calico is here, which means we're going to have to go south to get out of the desert, visit Swiftbank, then travel west to Dragon Roost. All races are welcome there, which means we won't have any trouble blending in. We might want to be careful at Swiftbank, however."

I nodded like I knew what she was talking about. "Uh-huh. On estimate, how long do you think that will take?"

Coffee scratched her chin. "A week at most, depending on how long we stop."

I nodded again. "Cool. Random question, completely random. When you look at the moon at night, what do you see?"

Coffee looked up from her map, and gave me another half-lidded stare. "It's blank. Like it has been. For the last few years. Where have you been? You act like you don't even know where you are."

I tilted my head side to side like I was measuring something. "Ehh, not entirely incorrect. Planet of Equus, continent of Mammalia, Bastian Collective, City of Calico. See? I'm only slightly oblivious. Other than those broad strokes, though, I really don't know where I am. Well, we should be off.

I started walking south, determined to get to Swiftbank soon, because that meant getting to Dragon Roost soon, which meant getting to Equestria soon. But, as soon as I exited the shade of the massive wall, and the sun struck me full force, I cringed.

Wearing thick black sweaters was a no-no. I quickly stepped back into the shade, took my sweater off, and nodded. Now I was ready to go.

"King!" I looked in the direction of the voice, and saw Coffee a few dozen feet ahead, walking south. I yelped and ran after her on all fours, which I must say felt strange, but really invigorating. I was fast. "I don't like being with you, but I do have to admit that I owe you one. It would have been months before I got out of there. So, as long you stay nearby, I'll take you to Dragon Roost."

I smiled, and felt my tail start wagging again. "Thank you, Fee. Can I call you Fee?"

"No."