Irony's Tale

The wings of the big aircraft, a Boeing 777-223(ER), sway every so slightly as its massive rudder makes slight adjustments allowing the plate to float in gently for a landing. It’s just after six in the evening, and the sun is casting soft orange and red patterns over the Pacific Ocean. A stiff headwind during the first part of the flight got the plane running a little behind schedule. The planes captain and pilot in command, an ex US Airforce transport pilot, practically kisses the ground as the plane transitions from flight to grounded so smoothly, the passengers barely notice the vibration of the tires on the tarmac as the thrust reversers engage and the engines start to scream. The thrust reversers slow the plane from the landing speed of one hundred seventy miles per hour to a mere twenty miles per hour in short order. The pilot presses the brakes to slow to turn off the runway at a mere ten miles per hour.

Nuan smiles at her boss, who smiles back. “Wow, your hair really has changed.” He says softly, “Don’t worry, it’s not that bad.”

She starts, looking around quickly with a gulp, almost confused, “My hair? What’s wrong with it?” She reaches up and finds what would normally be chin length fairly thin black hair, has since grown and thickened into a fluffy pink mop with a very light pink stripe. Her shock is quite evident on her face, “Gah, what…”

He nods and gives a slight chuckle. “Yeah, and soon you are going to be sprouting a tail, probably within the hour, actually.”

“A tail?” She squeaks. She reaches back and feels her rump before sighing hugely. “You’re joking right? Ok, nothing’s there yet.” She leans back in her seat, looking outside the window as the plane taxis towards the gate. She looks back at her boss. “How do you know so much? About the ponies I mean. Before today, I thought they were just rumors, or some publicity stunt by some company, you know like the stormtroopers or rabbits marching down the street.”

“No, they aren’t rumors, they are quite real. We have one or two clients that have changed. Though they’ve asked us to respect their privacy and not advertise their existence too much. As well, the American government has been busy with scrubbing the net of their existence. I don’t understand fully but, they are some kind of an open secret, to be honest.”

Nuan looks down. “What’s going to happen to me?” She looks up at him, tears in her eyes.

“You will become a pony, it’s not that bad from what I’ve seen and heard. What happen beyond that entirely up to you, Nuan. You may decide to stay here in the States with the ponies here, some have been starting up colonies or communities in the USA. The largest I know about is in Montana. Though we’ll be on the other side of the state, I think we can make a few calls and you can at least meet their leader. Her name is Lightning Dust, I believe.”

Nuan frowns. “I don’t know that name. I do remember a Rarity and a Twilight Sparkle, I don’t know why I know those names. I never watched that pony show they had on the tele a few years ago.”

“From what I heard, Twilight Sparkle and her friends went home, they had to fight to take back their world from that Discord chap.” He leans closer. “Apparently, he’s the one who sent all of you here. The details that I’ve heard are rather fuzzy.”

She nods. “I only remember a few images, like some kind of nightmare,” She closes her eyes with a shiver and shakes her head. Then her eyes widen, lifting up an arm. “I… I just felt my ears move. Ears don’t move. At least not like that!”

“Pony ears do. We can see your coat color now too.” He reaches out and runs a finger along the soft fur. “Light blue.” He pulls out his phone. “Okay, we know your name is Kerfuffle, and you’ve got a two-tone pink mane and light blue fur. He frowns and types some more. “Hmm, well this is less than convenient.”

“What?” She looks up, people are standing up as the plane stops at the gate. “What do you mean?” She asks as she joins them, pulling her bag from the overhead bin. Her boss gets up, still working on his phone. Since he’s distracted, she pulls his bag down as well, which he throws on his shoulder distractedly as his thumbs continue on his device.

They walk forward, Nuan’s eyes widen, the stewardess that was helping her earlier is sitting in her jumpseat, her eyes vacant, unmoving. She waves her hand in front of the woman. “Hey, Melanie, you okay?”

The woman blinks a few times. She gasps. “Pickle.” She murmurs. She shakes her head, blinking up at Nuan. “What?” She looks down the aisle at the line of passengers waiting. “Oh, bother, what a time to zone. Jet lag can be a killer,” She leaps to her feet. “Sorry, Fuff, I’ve got work to do.”

The press of people pushes Nuan and her boss out the door of the plane and up the jetway. Her boss is consumed by his phone, he seems to be mumbling as he walks. Comically though, this does not appear to be an oddity as other passengers seemed more interested in their smart phones then what’s going on around them. As they get to the gate waiting area, he turns off to the side, letting the rest of the passengers by. With a soft grumble he looks over at Nuan. “I’m sorry, Nuan, but I’ve searched with your mane and coat color, and also by that name, Kerfuffle. I don’t see anything.”

“Huh? What does that mean.” Nuan asks confused, “Find anything?”

“From what I understand, the show is essentially real. The stories, the ponies, even some of the fan work. Somehow, some of the ponies retained the memories of their lives in Equestria, or something, and that made it into the show.” Shaking his head, he looks at his phone, “That being said I couldn’t find anything on you.”

“Oh…” Nuan looks down, an almost hurt expression running across her face.

“It just means you weren’t shown on screen for the show, you and ponies who know you, simply might not have gotten involved with the fandom.” He puts the phone in his pocket quickly. “No worries, we can talk to the other ponies when we get to Montana. But first. We need to get through customs.”

***

Central Pennsylvania is rather sparsely populated, farms and forests dominate the landscape through much of the state. There are places like the Bald Eagle State forest, the Susquehannock State forest, and many others. Along with a plethora of tiny towns, supporting the local farms scattered throughout. The pegasi pulling the chariot shift their course, the helmets they are wearing have a heads up display to allow them to see their course with their filed flight plan. Though today they are flying VFR rules, and therefore don’t have to file a flight plan. They do, however, have to still watch out for no-fly zones along their planned route. Though even those are fairly rare in this part of the nation. A bit east would be a far different story. Harts Fire is in the lead, guiding them towards his little farmstead. He’s a bit tired from the flying, and is actually looking forward to being grounded, for a little while at least. Not to mention the massive amount of stress over the last several hours. Some time resting sounds good to him. He glances back at the chariot, one specific form curled up on the diamondplate of the floor is going to have a long time recovering. With the loss of her father. Harts suppresses the urge to cry. He knows a lot of tears have been shed already this day. And there is a likelihood of many more in the coming days and months.

He points, and the pegasi knock off a quick salute in acknowledgement, they spiral down with him, shedding their speed rapidly as they come in for a smooth landing on the gravel road. He grounds on his front porch, and the pegasi pull the grounded chariot up close, then they coordinate to walk sideways, rotating the chariot to where the rear is facing the front door. Harts reaches up, unfolding his wings as the nearly comatose mare is placed in his forelegs. He uses his wings for balance as he two-legs it to the front door.

Apparently their arrival was observed as the door opens. “Harts, you got them!” The pegasus looks as though she’s about to leap at him, then she notices what he’s carrying. She looks up at him. “Where’s her dad?”

Harts sniffles a bit. “He’s dead. We were too late.” He blinks a few times, tears falling. “Damn it, why?”

She looks at him quizzically. He uses a feather of a wing to wipe away the tears. She nods. “We are ponies, not humans. Let me guess, it was a lot harder to cry when you were human, right?”

He nods.

She smiles. “Yeah, that’s our nature, Harts. We aren’t humans, and ponies do have our emotions bubble to the surface a lot easier. It’s simply our nature. Among ponies, at least how I remember it, crying is not a sign of weakness, but a source of strength. Remember, our ancestors were prey animals, before we learned magic, before we learned how to be one of the dominant species on our planet. Our nature is radically different than the humans we were before here. Crying, expressing emotions are not nearly as taboo as they are among humans.” She looks at the other ponies as they walk quietly by. “Don’t worry, ponies know if you need time to yourself, and will quite automatically respect your boundaries. Your body language is also quite different compared to humans.”

He looks back at a wing. “But I’m a pegasus.”

She nods. “And there’s a whole additional layer when it comes to pegasus body language. There’s almost a whole language in your wings. You don’t remember all of that now, but over time you will remember how to express yourself when it comes to your body. Ponies can have entire conversations when it comes to our body language.” She reaches out a wing, touching his cheek, though her cheeks heat. “That’s actually a very intimate act, to touch another pony’s cheek with a wing.” She looks down for a moment. “I’ve been thinking a lot since I changed back. I think I was some kind of scholar, I remember living in Manehattan. I remember working at a university.” She shakes her head. “It does help that you are a pretty cute stallion, though.” She turns, leading him into the house, her tail whisking from side to side, Harts eyes widen as he can see she’s definitely showing off her goods. Working with horses and ponies long before his change has given him some knowledge in how they communicate. He shakes his head. He needs to get Saffron into a bed before anything else. Let her body rest before she has to wake up back into the hell her life has become. Maybe he can do something to help her. He sighs as he kicks the door closed behind him.

***

Nuan looks at the line of people. The last hour has been just one long queue. Though she’s proud of herself, her tail did sprout on schedule. Though some of the humans seemed to be surprised by the turn of events. Her boss had produced a small pen knife, allowing her to cut a hole in her jeans so she could fit her tail through. She has no desire to run around pantsless any time soon. She looks up at him. “Why is this taking so long?”

He smiles. “Just bad luck, actually. Since our plane was late, we came in with several other overseas flights. Now, customs is rather swamped at the moment. Just be patient. It is moving at a decent pace.”

She takes a few steps forward. Lifting a cuff of her jeans. “I wonder what’s going to happen with this?”

That gets a smile. “With luck, you’ll grow four legs as a pony, and won’t have need for it anymore.”

“That would be awesome!”

“Quite.”

She turns and watches the group ahead of them head towards a podium. Another podium has their group of people start walking away. The worker waves them forward.”

“Wecome to the United States, passports and visa documentation?”

Nuan hands over her passport as her boss does the same. The worker barely notices them as he opens the little booklets. “Purpose of your visit?”

Her boss supplies the answer. “Business.”

He barely heard the answer. “Anything to declare?”

Her boss pulls out the paperwork for her prosthetic, as well as some other forms. Sliding through the papers, the agent the agent nods slowly, “And you have this in your checked…” he looks up at her boss then at Nuan and blinks. “What’s wrong with your hair?” He adjusts his glasses and squints at her. “And ears? Are those horse ears?”

“I think we prefer to call them pony ears, actually.” Nuan says softly, then blinks shutting her mouth quickly.

The reaction isn’t precisely what she expected. The human adjusts his glasses a second time, then he picks up a phone. “We’ve got a pony in mid transformation, coming off an international flight from the UK.” He says to whomever answered. He listens for a moment before putting the phone down. “Okay, we are going to have to move you over to secondary…miss?”

Nuan directs a panicked look at her boss as she heads the direction she was pointed to. He gathers up her bag quickly and follows, a bit of a smile on his face. “Did you think I was going to just go on without you?”

“Oh…no…heh…heh.”

That gets a smile. “Nuan. You aren’t just an employee here; you are a member of our family. We stay together. No worries at all.”

She suppresses the desire to breathe a deep sigh of relief. Having the tall man walking next to her makes her feel…safe.

Another customs official catches up to them and begins to direct them through the busy airport terminal, acting as an escort. Nuan has her laptop bag over her shoulder and is pulling her carry-on. She looks around at the enormous airport as she walks. It’s so big! The official opens up a door marked authorized personnel only and ushers them inside. She looks around at the new part of the terminal, some sort of large waiting room, with several doors for smaller offices, each with a number above them. Slowly she gazes around the room before her eyes settle on something unexpected, immediately she freezes in place she as her jaw drops.

An actual, fully transformed pony is sitting on one of the waiting roomchairs, along with a couple other humans. The pony is cream colored with a brown mane and tail. Enormous vivid green eyes blink slowly as the pony looks at the newcomers. She finds an empty seat a few seats away from the pony. The pony does offer a small smile, noticing her new mane and tail. Nuan yelps as she sits down, then twitches her tail to the side to before trying to sit down again.

“Just wait here. Someone will talk to you in a little bit.”

“Is… is that what I’m going to look like?” Nuan says looking at the other pony, “I’ve never seen one before.”

Her boss looks up and gives a gentle nod to the pony before looking down at Nuan, “Well in general, that would be an earth pony, we don’t know what kind you are yet, but generally shape and size, yes.”

“There are different kinds?” Pulling out her phone Nuan taps on it a moment then sighs, “And of course, I don’t have service here.”

Her boss smiles. “We’ll pick up some local sim cards. You don’t want to roam in the US, your data charges could get rather pricey. I believe they even sell the cards here in the airport. Shouldn’t be a problem.”

She slides her phone back in her pocket and leans back. Closing her eyes. She tries to let herself float, just trying to keep her mind free and thinking as she lets the time pass. Then she’s brought back to the present by the door opening again. She boggles at what comes in, another pony. A pegasus this time, judging by the wings folded at her side. The pony has a nearly white coat with a dark blue mane and tail. She’s wearing a blue one piece outfit that covers most of her body, with a yellow pattern along her chest and running down her body. Something about that pattern gets Nuan to shake her head. The pattern is somehow that is familiar to her, but the fashion just doesn’t seem right, it needs more color or something. The large green eyes of the pegasus rove across the assembled humans and the pony waiting. She zeroes in on the pony and trots over to her.

“Good evening, I’m High Winds.”

The other pony looks shocked for a moment before dropping her head down sullenly.

“Sprichst du Deutsch?”

A shaken head.

“Hablas espanol?”

Again, the pony shakes her head.

Then the pony switches to another language, it sounds more horse like with a whickering sound. The pony’s eyes widen as her ears perk high before she blushes and looks down. “I can speak English, usually. Some just don’t seem to understand me when I get…”

“Oh good, I am supposed to help translate along with my other duties, but German and Spanish are the extent of my language skills, along with Eponese.” She takes a deep breath. “You are damned lucky, you know that?”

“I was just trying to get to Dubuque. Princess Luna…” The pony says looking up almost panicked then ducks her head again, as the uniformed pony raises a hoof.

“The portal was only open for three days, we’ve got a good two years until it opens again. You know, you are lucky the airline isn’t pressing charges.” She huffs. “Did you really try to pass yourself off as an emotional support animal? Seriously?” She reaches out a wing and scoops up…something. Nuan looks closer, it’s some kind of red harness with white lettering on the sides. She frowns looking confused for a moment at the two.

“Michael was trying to be helpful, and I don’t have ID.”

“Michael, that’s the person you were with?” Winds asks, “And what’s your name?”

“Ron… Rain… Renae,” The pony skuffs a forehoof on the chair.

“Pony names sometimes are easier.” Wind’s says softly and sits looking at the young mare.

“I think its Charged Up, but I’m not sure.” Gulping once she looks down, “I just don’t know what to do, how to travel.”

“Chargie,” Winds says with a smile.

The pony blinks once tilting her head then nods, “That seems right.”

“Well, you have to do what everypony else has to do, go get new ID. The Congress passed the legislation saying that we are people just like every human. The President signed it, since it even affected his daughter. We have the same rights as any human here in the States. And of course, they are using the State department to pressure other nations to follow the same rules. We may be a semi-open secret, and a lot of humans don’t believe we are real. They think we are a hoax, or some Hasbro marketing campaign trying to drum up support for a new generation of toys.” She huffs again, though Nuan smiles, thinking of new pony toys might just be cute.

“What? Really?” The pony looks shocked at the pegasus, “How come I never head of this?”

“Umm, the not so liberal media? The information is out there, but I guess it’s just not getting around fast enough. So, what state are you from, or did you live in?”

The pony looks down. “Nevada, just on the border with California. A little town called Goodsprings.”

High Winds reaches out a wing to lift the other pony’s chin. “It’s okay, we’ll get an ID, and then go fly. You don’t need to stow away on a plane or pretend to be someone’s pet. Do you need money?”

The pony shakes her head. “Nah, I’m good on cash, bank machines don’t ask for ID so I took out what I could. I used to work for Goodsprings Heat Recovery, they paid well, and I had some savings. So, just get my ID, and then I can go?”

“Ok, you’re just going to have to trust the agents here. They will take your picture, ask you some questions about your history,” Wind says putting her huff under the mares chin to lift her head, “But you need to tell them the truth, ok?”

“But…” The mare gulps once looking nervous.

Wind shakes her head, “The truth, don’t worry, they won’t judge you for it, they just need to clear up missing persons reports and such.”

“Oh, then I can go?”

High Winds nods. “Uh, huh. But Dubuque isn’t going to be ready until the next opening of the gate, middle of 2022. If you want to be around ponies, we can help you head to Montana, or I heard something about a group of ponies in Texas, if you like the warm weather.” She smiles and the ponies hug quickly. “Just talk with the customs agent, in English please, they aren’t very good with eponese, the pony language.”

“Sorry, I don’t know why I keep slipping back to it. I know I should speak English and I try to but,” The pony tries to look innocent.

“It’s not really a problem, there are a few ponies I’ve met with that, umm, issue, usually those that had trouble getting along with or talking to humans all their lives, one of the other mares that works with me does that occasionally.” Looking at the agent then back to pony she smiles. “Good luck.”

The little mare smiles for the first time here, “You too.”

High Winds looks around, then pulls her head back flicking an ear as she focuses on Nuan. Turning she marches over, her tail swishing side to side as she smiles, “So, what’s your story?”

“Me?” Nuan squeaks.

Her boss leans forward. “Nuan here just started changing on the flight from the UK, we know her name, and her coat and mane colors. But I couldn’t find her online. It doesn’t look like she was on the show.”

Winds’ eyes widen. “Okay, that’s not all that uncommon. There are only five seasons of the show, and not everypony got featured. So, what’s your name?”

Nuan looks at her boss, then at the pegasus. “Kerfuffle.” She says softly.

Winds frowns. “Ok, I don’t know recognize that name. Course that doesn’t mean a lot either, Equestria was huge. So, why are you here?”

Nuan looks at her boss, “The customs agents told us to wait here.”

Winds giggles, “I meant in the USA. What brings you here?”

“Oh!” Nuan blushes slightly and giggles, “We are here for work, we work on prosthesis, a company called Open Bionic.”

Winds laughs. “The company that made that girl some bionic arms for that movie, Alita: Battle Angel?”

Her boss barks a laugh. “The same. I was involved on that team.”

Winds offers a grin. “Gotta love that English accent.” She shakes her mane. “Well, customs probably wants to talk to you since you are in the middle of your change. Might offer you amnesty since you are going to be a pony. I heard there’s a colony in the UK, but there’s a lot of ponies here in the States.” Looking between the two ponies, “Either way, I’ve got to meet up with Fire, and get back on patrol. 520th Keeping young dumb pegasi from getting pasted on an incoming flight is a never-ending job. Cheers!”

Looking back at the agent Winds nods once, “Just be patient and she’ll be fine. If you need help call, but I don’t think she’ll need someone sitting in the entire process.”

The pony trots to the door and exits quickly. Nuan looks over at her boss. “Amazing.”

***

I turn the key and the rumble of the engine of my beautiful car quiets. I’m only a couple of miles from the last camp. I’ve checked every one on the list Mindy gave me but this one. I quell the growing desperation in my chest. She has to be here, I’ve made it into each of the camps without being observed, and no, no turquoise pegasus in any of them. This one is marked as the biggest one in the country. She has to be here. I open the door and head to the trunk. I strap the saddle bags to my body and take a moment to cover my car with some branches. I’ve off the main road enough that casual observers won’t see her. And the branches will break up the outline enough that if she’s found, she would be considered abandoned. I sigh softly as I relax onto four legs. I’ve already checked my compass and map. The GPS on the phone works just fine, but there’s not really all that many detailed maps online, and my online connection kinda sucks right now. It’s kinda too much to expect LTE service in the middle of the jungle.

My hooves are silent on the ground as I move west from my car. It’s only a matter of hours until I crest over a ridge and I can see the camp. The armed guards walking around and the guard towers tell me there is illicit activities going on here. Though the casual way that the guards have their weapons slung also tell me that the government doesn’t mess with them very much. Likely because local officials are probably paid off. I had slipped across the border on a small side road. No stamping my passport with a Columbian stamp this time.

My hooves do make impressions in the ground as I walk. Though what is one more set of pony hoofprints? I’ve seen them using donkeys and horses as pack animals throughout my scouting. Human prints would be noticed, mine likely won’t. My darker coloring and the dusk lighting means my chances of being observed are quite minimal. I settle down and pull out my binoculars. The sun is off to my right, though it’s behind a hill, so no chance of reflections of the glass. I pan around, keeping my eyes peeled.

One thing really stands out, there’s a man walking with an equine. The height of the man, and the height of the equine next to him tells me it’s a pony, with brown fur and a bright blonde mane and tail. But panning along shows me her head is shaped like the equines of this world, not of Equestria. The body of the pony is covered with large saddle bags. Just another pack animal. I sigh and keep looking around. As the evening fades into night, large generators are fired up, bathing the area with light. This place looks like it’s busy all day and all night. That gets a grin from me. This has got to be a distribution point for the entire area. Even if Dust is not here. We can disrupt the flow of drugs from here. I observe for a while longer before I pull out the sat phone Mindy gave me. Yeah, this place is worth our attention, and we can punish Spectrum a little more, taking away some of their illicit, off the books, income.

I dial the phone and press it to my ear. A few seconds elapse as the system lashes up. Finally I hear the ring. “This is Mindy.”

I smile. “Mindy, we’ve got some business.”