Irony's Tale

The other ponies are ready. I’m ready, my car is idling, the engine is grumbling peacefully. I’m on the road to the camp, less than a mile from its gates. Moon and the other ground bound ponies are aboard the three chariots they brought, and the pegasi of the assault teams are high in the air, ready for their part in the upcoming carnage. We’ve gone over the plan at least three times. A quick attack, taking out the guard towers and sowing confusion to give us the time to have the chariots land and the ponies inside them disperse. This is an all-out assault, Spectrum has no idea we are coming in. And we will keep them in the dark about it too. Two pegasi are detailed to knock out the radio communications. To the others in the illicit operation, this camp is going to simply go dark. My watch face glows softly, the second hand swinging around painfully slowly. I’ve been on four hooves, relaxed, for several hours. But now, I’m on two hooves, sitting in the driver’s seat of my beautiful baby.

Finally the second hand and minute hand meet for a brief instant, the sun will be up in a matter of minutes, it’s time to go. The radio speaker in my ear crackles to life. The pegasi are starting in on the assault, silently taking out the guards. I grin savagely as I plant my right foot and release the clutch. Dirt flies as my rear wheels spin, though they grab fairly quickly and I overcome the tendency of the rear wheels to break loose under such acceleration. The trees become a green blur as I streak down the road, part of me winces as I jar over the uneven road. The 442 was not designed to do off road driving, but for this road, the car is up to the task. It seems like only seconds before the large gate looms before me. I snarl savagely as the front end meets with the gate and crashes through. I can see my front end is bent up by the collision. I don’t care. I can fix sheet metal, it’s not a worry. I savagely twist the car to the left as I tromp on the brakes and pop the shift lever into neutral. It’s definitely go time.

In a textbook assault landing, the three chariots land, the pegasi pulling them shrug out of their harnesses and join the fray. I must be a sight, any damage from my previous fights has been repaired, my armor is pristine, my helmet on my head. I know my size and weight inspires fear. A few rounds impact my armor, though the magically strengthened metal simply has the rounds flatten against it. The impacts don’t even stagger me. I swing my mace at one human, getting him in the face, and crushing his skull. I yank my mace from the ruined body by putting a boot on the chest and yanking. I turn and notice something that gets me to stop in horror. A pony, what looks like a feral pony of this world, yet on the flank is a lightning bolt with three stars. “DUST!!” I scream. My legs churn up the space as I rush towards the human pulling the pony towards an old military surplus truck. Men on the back are pulling the pony inside as the man turns towards me.

Any words simply become howls of rage as I run, the man that was leading Dust is walking towards me, pulling out a pistol. I don’t falter as the first rounds impact, trusting my armor as I ready my mace. A human comes from my right, and I take him in the shoulder as I pass. Pulling the mace around in an underhanded swing as the first man had emptied his gun, he throws it at me as my mace connects with his groin. I can feel I’ve crushed his pelvis. He crumples to the ground, blood streaming as he screams. I complete the movement of the mace with a swing over my head, impacting his skull and splattering everything inside all over. I breathe a few times, looking for the truck.

Apparently the driver had panicked, and in a cloud of diesel exhaust, the truck pulls through the gate that I had ruined. I growl and whirl back to my car. The chaos around me is being handled by the assault teams. “Mindy, Moon Shadow! You finish off here, I’ll get Dust!” I shout into my mic as I sprint back to my car. I throw my mace into the passenger footwell as I slam the door. The engine is still on, so I stomp on the accelerator as I push the clutch to put the engine in gear. Popping the clutch has another spray of dirt coming from my tires, I pull a tight loop and accelerate. I shift through the gears as the distant tail lights start to get closer. A large bounce has me wincing, but I keep my right foot firmly on the floor as I get closer.

Rat-tat-tat-tat. The sounds of automatic gunfire causes me to cringe as a line of impacts hit the hood and windshield, which becomes instantly filled with holes. One or two of those rounds got my armor. I grin, that’s not going to stop me. The road is not paved like back at home, but is hard packed dirt. The kind that even a heavy rain storm isn’t going to do more than make a bit slick. But it’s relatively narrow. I slip to the left, trying to get up next to the truck. The driver sees me and pulls hard left, which has the benefit of throwing off the aim of the men in the back of the truck still trying to shoot me. The rending of metal shrieks in my ears as a line of bullets smack into the quarter panels and the passenger door. Oh, I’m gonna get revenge on them for more than just Dust, but for what they are doing to my baby here. I slam on the brakes for an instant and pull over to the right, slamming down the gas pedal trying to get in front of the truck. The other driver is pretty good, he gets the truck over, cutting me off, and I have to back off or I’d end up in the trees. I have a few moments as the men in the back are just trying to hold on for their lives as the truck and I bounce over a bad section of the road. How far are we from the camp? Five miles? Ten? I shake my head and swerve hard to get on the drivers side. The driver saw me too late, I’m almost even with him. Though I watch in horror as he turns the wheel towards me anyway.

I brace as the larger truck slams into my baby. I scream as I push back, turning my own wheel to keep from being pushed into the trees once again. He pulls away, then slams into me a second time, then a third. Each time I fend off his attack and stay on the road. Through my shattered windshield I can barely see, he’s got a pistol himself. He fires blindly, though some of the rounds do connect. The pop and whistle of pressure being relieved gets me to look at the front of my car, steam is spewing from my radiator. Damn! A glance down at the gauges shows that my temp gauge is pegged. The engine isn’t going to last long in this case.

I growl and down shift a gear as I slam on the gas. I’ve got to stop this, now! I go on the offensive, slamming the side of the truck, and grinning as the other driver lets off the gas for a moment. Okay, time to end this! I snarl savagely as I turn the wheel hard to my right and brake. The other driver tries a panic stop, but it’s too late. His front end slams into and rides up my right fender, the bumper ends up resting on my hood, the left front wheel is crumpled against the fender and both vehicles slide to a stop. I look down at the dash, the engine RPM is down to zero. Well, anything done here can be fixed. Gotta get Dust. I grab my mace as I kick the drivers door open and leap onto the hood. The other driver is fighting with his door, trying to get it open. I fix the problem by yanking the door completely off. My mace finds his head moments later, ending his misery. I step onto the roof of my car and stalk towards the rear of the truck.

Panicked voices screaming in Spanish greet my ears. I don’t know the language, but I can understand the gist of what they are saying. I can hear the metallic sounds of them dropping the tailgate on the truck. They recovered from the wreck fairly well. Two of them leap to the ground as I get around the back of the truck. One levels his AK at me and sends a spray of bullets into my chest from four feet away. In only a matter of seconds, his magazine is empty, and I stand there, looking at him.

“Nice try, my turn!” I growl as I pick him up. I swing him head first into the side of the truck. His screaming ceases as I turn to the second human. He’s in the process of helping the other men off the truck. I grab him and reach an arm around him. A quick twist has his neck broken and he tumbles bonelessly to the ground. A round pings off of my helmet as I reach in a grab another screaming human. I throw him to the ground and stomp on his chest. I look inside, four more humans are cowering in the bed. Though none of them are holding weapons. I leap into the bed, brandishing my mace. They chatter at each other, though I don’t understand the words. I snarl, raising my mace, which seems to break their will. They scramble past me quickly, leaving their weapons behind. I turn and watch them scramble from the truck and run into the forest as fast as they can. Even though they are druggies, I don’t need to chase them. The fight is finished.

A happy whinny gets my attention. Dust is straining against her restraints, trying to reach me. I look down, it looks as though I’ve had red paint balloons thrown at me. I reach down and loosen the breastplate strap, then I pull off my helmet.

“Oh, Dust.” I moan. “What have they done to you.” I get a soft whinny in response. A few strides and I’m kneeling down before her. I reach up a hand and unsnap the harness connecting her to a ring on the truck bed. She seems to be holding her mouth a little oddly, so my questing fingers find the connections for a bit. I stick my tongue out the side of my mouth a bit as I work to extract the bit. Dust happily opens her mouth as I pull the metal pieces away. As I get the bit extracted, I inspect it for a moment. It’s segmented and has some kind of hinge, I work it for a moment and it dawns on me, this is a bit to control a very unruly horse, pulling on it presses the spoon hard into the tongue, causing pain. I growl and toss the bit away. Dust shakes her head a bit and leans close, putting her forehead against mine and whinnying softly.

I feel tears come to my eyes as I hold her. She’s lost, she’s not the pony she was anymore. Her wings, her beautiful, precious, wings are gone. Her turquoise coloring, it’s gone too. Even her eyes have darkened to a soft brown from the golden color they were the last time I saw her. I pet her neck, though she seems to like it. And I can’t deny that she recognizes me like this.

“Irony.” Comes a gentle voice. “Where’s Dust?”

I’m beyond words at the moment. The sobs are coming hard. I simply clutch the pony, what was Dust, close to me.

Moon is patient, she waits as I slowly gain my composure. Finally I gesture to Dust. “She’s right here.”

Moon’s eyes widen. “That’s impossi---“ She stops as she notices the cutie mark. “No.” She whispers. “Is she lost to us?”

The pony has moves over to Moon and is happy nuzzling the smaller mare. “Well, apparently she remembers me.” She reaches out a hoof, touching Dust briefly. “What can we do?”

My mouth opens to respond. Then I stop. I have no idea what to do.

The clatter of hooves on metal announce the arrival of Cloud Kicker. She folds her wings at her sides. “Is that Dust?”

I nod somberly. “Chariot here?”

At Kicker’s nod, I lead the former pegasus to the edge of the truck bed. I hop out and gather her up. I grunt as I lift Dust, she’s actually bigger than she was. She’s up in weight with this transformation too, a solid four hundred or more. I gently place her on the ground and head over towards the chariot. I stolidly ignore the incredulous looks of the other ponies as I pull Dust onto the chariot. Moon silently joins us before the pegasi pulling it have us in the air. Mindy taps the pad on the dash as she builds and files a flight plan, back to Montana.

“Oh, Dust.” I moan as I sit down, the pony kneels down, then lays against me. Well, at least she seems happy at the moment, with us here.

***

Nuan is happy with her permanent implant. While the implant can be changed out, in case of damage or excessive wear, she doesn’t have to fit anything over her stump. So, one nice thing is, she can sleep in it. Charged Up is snoozing in the other bed. Nuan has been having trouble sleeping, thinking about what she’s been told about the change into a pony. Her conversation with the woman in Customs, as well as talking to Charged, has said that after her mane, ears, and tail, the next part is the transformation starts at the feet, and moves slowly up the body, by midday, she’s going to be having trouble walking as her hips change to the new shape for being a pony. She’s been looking at her one foot, and it hasn’t done anything. Charged had said that the middle toe had widened, and the others sort of melted together, and in a matter of hours, they became hooves.

Nuan feels around in her mouth with her tongue, that missing molar is back, and now all of her teeth are shaped differently, like that of a pony. So, she’s on schedule when it comes to her change. But why is her foot staying the same. She leans back and closes her eyes.

A loud thunk awakens her. Nuan blinks a few times. A glance at the clock next to the bed says that she had nodded off for… four hours, it’s almost five in the morning. She looks down and suppresses the urge to scream. Her prosthesis, which replaced her right leg, had fallen off the bed onto the floor. That was the source of the sound that had woken her up. And she is quite happy to have a light blue hoof and lower leg to replace it. But on the other side, her left leg is now ending at a stump. She blinks a few times. “Are you kidding me?” She murmurs softly as she lifts her left leg. Questing fingers run along the new furred leg, then she stops. She had a prosthesis before, in Equestria. She can feel the implant there, and the threaded fitting that she apparently had implanted before Discord got her.

She looks over. “Chargie.”

The pony in the other bed twitches an ear and murmurs softly. Nuan growls and picks up a pillow. “Chargie!” She shouts, throwing the pillow. It hits Charged on the head, getting her to shoot to a sitting position.

“I wasn’t sleeping, Cheerilee! Honest!” She slurs. Then she looks around the room slowly blinking. Carefully she props herself up on her side looking confused, her tail flicking slighty “Wait a moment. What? Huh?”

“Well that just begs more questions,” Nuan points to her hooves. “And, I’ve got a hoof now, but just one.”

“Woohoo! Hoovsies,” Charged hops off her bed and gets up next to Nuan, tilting her head looing confused. “Whoa, that’s just that wild.”

Nuan tries to keep tears from falling. “I got my right leg back, but I lost my left!”

Charged reaches out a hoof. “Does it hurt?” At Nuan’s shaken head, she leans forward. “Well, it looks like pony life and human life really are similar. You lost a leg somehow as a pony, and as a human.” She looks at the implant on the floor. “I’m guessing that your implant won’t work on the new leg or could even really be made to.”

Nuan rolls her eyes. “Ugg. Nope, I don’t think so, look at it, it’s almost double the length of what I’m going to need. Heck it isn’t even articulated right.”

Chargie shrugs. “Well, it’s good you work for a company that makes them. Right?” Then she ducks at a swung pillow. “Hey, was just trying to see the silver lining here. You were going to be making some anyway, can’t you just do one up for yourself too?”

Nuan flops back onto the bed. “Yeah, but I don’t have any crutches, and hopping with a leg that I don’t know how well it works. I don’t even have access to a wheelchair.”

Looking at her good leg, charged puts her forehoof against Nuan’s hoof, “We’re equines, strong legs are in our nature.”

Looking down, “Oh yeah,” She growls sarcastically, “that’s going to work wonderfully!”

Chargie shrugs. “Well.” She stops, looking at Nuan for a long moment before looking down at the prosthetic, then flicks her ear looking up with a smile, “It may be kinda weird, but I guess you could ride if you need to go somewhere.”

Nuan narrows her eyes. “Ride? Come on, ride what? I don’t have a scooter or wheelchair, heck I don’t even know where to rent one around here, or if I could.”

Chargie giggles once and turns sideways, “You can ride me if you need. And I won’t even Chargie you for it.”

Nuan’s eyes widen. “What?”