Clash of the Legends

Shining Armor sighed, his armor upon his stomach clinking together as his abdomen increased, then decreased, in size. His patrol squad, as with all other squads for that day, had a longer time to be spent on guard outside the dining hall. When I say squad, I mean 3 soldiers including him. And when I say soldiers, that translates to 'the most unlikely, randomly picked stallions'. The door they were guarding was unnecessarily tall, and, as with most other doors he sees in Canterlot, golden. Beneath his hooves a red carpet, stretching down the corridor until it was out of sight, and all around him were marble statues depicting the same constipated looking stallion carrying armor and weapons. He was opposite the door, positioning himself next to a window was most likely the dumbest thing he'd done all week. His dark blue armor was absorbiñg heat like a sponge, and his fur was matted with sweat.

Aerilon Drift, the only pegasus they had, fared no better. His Dark Sky Assault Team Of Her Majesty Celestia armor and black coat and mane meant he was practically a waterfall of sweat. On possibly the hottest day of the year, even the shade was like an oven cooking meat. Plus, the fact that his fur was short served him little in that he was practically melting. He was stood inside the hall. Not just for show, however. The three Princesses, Luna, Celestia, and Cadence were discussing important aspects of the economy, crime, punishment, and which guards deserve promotions. This room was even hotter. The fire was roaring, and they had the heaters on.

Scorch-Mane couldn't care less about the heat. He'd been to the west enough to know what the brunt of the sun's wrath could do. Despite not noticing the heat, his maroon coat was sticking together in places, and his mane was attaching itself to the inside of his helmet. Though he never let anyone see, his Cutie Mark was a shield with a sun above it. This was his special talent: Heat-Proofing. This meant his body was incredibly resistant to the blazing sun, and anything involving flames that could easily kill somepony was something he'd participate in. Hours had passed, and all three colts were extremely bored. Even though headsets were inside their helmets, the direct communication between them only served to speed up the rate at which they had run out of things to converse about.

"I'm telling ya," Aerilon said stubbornly. "They'll start arguing."

"They won't." Shining Armor growled. This argument had been continuing for hours between the two, with Scorch opting not to bother joining in.

"So," Scorch finally cut in. "Shining, you've known Cadence since foalhood?" At least it ends the argument.

"Yes." He replied. "She used to foalsit Twily. Then, we parted ways."

"Yeah. So you two...y'know...waited for your little sis to go to bed?"

"Yes."

"Alone. Two teens in a house."

"Yes..." a hint of uncertainty was in Shining Armor's voice, while Aileron was heard sniggering on the mic. Scorch and him were out of view of Shining, giving Scorch the opportunity to point at Cadence and Shining before making sexual gestures to his companion.

"And you...y'know..."

"What?"

"...Banged her?"

"WHAT?!?" Shining angrily hissed through the mic. Before any more insults could be launched, the  dynamic duo heard a loud smash. Whipping their armored necks around, steel plates grated as Sparks screeched out of the sliding metal. They looked at the table, the three princesses now holding each other dead to rights. Celestia and Luna were charging magic bolts from their excessively long horns, and glaring coldly at Cadence, both expecting her to join their side.

"You will not start this war." Celestia hissed with her friendly eyes full of venom.

"They send over bombers." Luna shot back.

"Stop arguing." Cadence whined.

"Oh hell, this ain't good." Scorch whispered over to Drift, neither shifting his concerned gaze from the potentially war starting scene unfolding in front of them.

"YOU!" Luna boomed at Scorch, who squeaked and cowered behind a shield. "ATTACKETH THY SISTER! SHE IS A CHANGELING!"

"Sorry," Scorch stammered, peeking out from behind his shield. "I don't have permission."

"But you do! From me!" She yelled.

"Ok."

"You lack permission from me." Celestia spoke in a calming voice. Scorch's desire to fight left, and he suddenly didn't want any violence.

"Ok."

"Why are we arguing?" Drift cried, standing next to Celestia and flailing his hooves and wings around in the air.

"Stop arguing." Cadence repeated.

"Then we have reached an impasse." Luna frowned, taking hold of Scorch by his hoof and pulling his gun from the holster with magic. She leveled the weapon at her older sister's head.

"Sorry, sis. Only one decision." She pullex the trigger.

Click.

"I don't keep it loaded. Who do you think I am, a decent guard?" Scorch smirked.

"We settle this the old way." Celestia growled. "Pick your partner."

Scorch didn't like where this would end up. There were millions of ways they might settle this. Swords, fighting, civil war, and in one unlikely turnout, chess.

Scorch wanted the last one. He hoped he wouldn't get Cadence, though.

Shining Armor might get jealous of his colthood marefriend.