Clash of the Legends

Tension had built up in the room like radiation during a nuclear meltdown.

Three of Equestria's most important rulers were aiming destructive magic at each other,prepared to eliminate the others due to whether they should begin a war with Griffonia or not. Only two others were aware of the potentially deadly events that might unfold; Lieutenant Aerilon Drift, and Lieutenant Scorch-Mane. They had mics, but dared not use them lest they get hit by a burst of flame from one of the Monarchs. The two guards were shuffling their hooves slowly away, attempting to take cover behind a fallen chair or side table. Eventually, Aerilon plucked up the courage to make a move.

"Shining Armor," he whispered hastily. "Your childhood marefriend might be about to kill the other two."

No sooner than the last syllable left his lips, the sweating Shining Armor bucked down the huge gilded doors and charged at least 50 meters in less than 5 seconds. He made a lunge towards Cadence, opening a window for Scorch and Aerlion to tackle the other two to the ground. The mares grunted in pain and began ordering them to stand down, but they were already laid out on their bellies with their horns being gripped in a position where a sharp tug would rip it off their heads. Several minutes passed as the trio held down the monarchs, with what little training they'd had saving two other important figures from being incinerated by the other. Eventually, they stopped struggling.

"Errr," Scorch said uncertainly. "Halt, I suppose?"

"What happened?" Shining said, ignoring the lieutenant.

"We demand you release us." Celestia smiled at the other two, winking at them. From the look of it, she had a plan.

"Negative," Aerlion stuttered. "You have violated, er, your law. Your stolen goods...no, that's not right."

"You attacked a high-ranking mare?" Scorch cocked his head at his teammate.

"Something like that, yeah..."

"What comes next? Now pay yourself a fine. Or it's a get-out-of-your-own-jail-free card."

"Basically, they've got monarch-ic immunity." Shining Armor laughed.

"Are you handsome colts quite finished?" Luna soothed.

"No." Scorch frowned down on her.

TWO HOURS OF ATTEMPTED SEDUCTION LATER...

"...I've told you, I don't fancy you." Scorch yawned. The carpet built up such a warmth underneath them, that the two princesses (save Luna) and two guards (save Scorch-Mane) were all lying next to each other, sleeping at such a late hour as 1.00 in the morning. Luna was used to it, she did stay up during the night each day. For her, everypony elses dinner was her breakfast. They had steamed mushrooms, she had some toast. Celestia was lying on her back, her leg sometimes  twitching, and her being naked made things more disturbing. The image of a Solar Princess sleeping naked next to  her personal guard was going to be etched into Scorch's barely trained mind.

"I know you're tired," Luna was speaking in a voice as calming as she could possibly muster. She fluttered her yelids at Scorch, who was still incredibly young (in cursed-to-be-immortal standards), as he was basically the same age as Luna. He was fine at first, until he decided it would be fun to piss off Discord. "Let me take your worries away. I just know you'll love this..."

She reached up, restraining him with magic when he let go of her horn to check his Facehoof account on his Lemon iPhone and she slowly began circling his shoulderblades with her hooves. He tensed, but then relaxed as the warm sensation took over his body.

"Imagine your paradise..." she whispered in his ear. She turned her head, allowing her mane to flap gently in his face, before turning her head again and gently nuzzling and breathing down his neck. She was very reluctant to turn off her magic, as he had rugby tackled her with incredible ease. But as she turned off the magic field and lowered him to the floor, he simply slumped to the ground, his non-functioning wings flapping down and spreading out on the floor.

Luna smiled.

'Success,' she thought to  herself. She slowly flew near him, cooling him with a breeze from her wings, before cutting her acting and groaning. Before she was a princess, what little fun she could have was spent with the other fillies and colts on her street. One of them was Scorch-Mane. When he went to confront Discord for his bullying rule, he simply cursed him with immortality and corrupted his originally friendly mind. However, as soon as she became a princess, she, along with her sister, forgot their friends and lived high. Scorch was like Zoidberg.

Ponies only liked him when there was nopony else to like.

She slowly walked to Cadence and shook her awake. Her mane was a mess, her eyes were tired, and she looked outrageously tired.

"Really?" She whined sleepily. "At this unfaustly hour?"

"I got him." Luna declared proudly.

Cadence had a look of surprise and boredom on her face. She stared for a few seconds, before shaking her hooves sarcastically and emitting a tired 'woohoo'. She then gathered herself up, said goodnight, and teleported to her room.

Luna did the same for her older sister, and before she left to watch the night explained that Celestia had her legs apart, she was twitching, sleeping next to her favourite guard and she was naked. Celestia growled at Luna before feleporting back to her tower. Luna rolled her eyes and trotted to the door. Raising a hoof and pushing it open a crack, she stopped and turned. 3 of the princesses' best guards were sleeping in the hall, which looked like a cyclone hit it. She couldn't leave them there, it's unroyal. She decided the only place they should go is to their barracks. Realizing that was too far, she charged a mass teleport spell and dropped them somewhere odd.

On the archer perch.