So Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy and I tried to round up the town, but to no avail. The towns(ponies?) refused to come out from their homes. I was starting to give up.

"Well, this wasn't disappointing or anything." I say sarcastically.

"Oh Chase, you can't give up now." Twilight said, now noticing me sitting down on the ground. "Why are you sitting there resting when you're so close to the end!"

I plopped down on the ground, exhausted. I was sweating, dehydrated, and tired. I started to give up when suddenly, my hat blew in front of me. Huh, musta fell off when I landed in that tree. I picked up my hat and put it back onto my head and continued on my way.

I was having problems getting up. "Chase, what's wrong?" Twilight asked, concerned for my health.

"You okay man?" Rainbow asks.

"Oh gosh!" Fluttershy says. "He could hurt himself if he overexerts himself!"

"Sweaty... tired..." I say in between breaths, struggling to keep my balance and plopping down on the ground. "...water. Need water."

"Why don't you take off the jacket and gloves?" Twilight asked me. I then do so and take off my jacket and gloves, handing them to Twilight, who in turn grabbed them with her magic. Gonna have to ask her about that later.

"What happened after that?" Dad asks me.

"Bottom line is: the nurse basically scolded me for wearing a jacket in 90 degree weather, and in my defense, I didn't know how their world works." I explained, continuing my story.

A quick visit to the hospital later, some water and some rest, I was ready to go out again. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and I walked out of the hospital, relieved that I didn't overexert myself.

"Who should we try next?" Twilight asks me.

"Hmm. Maybe Applejack?" I asked.

"Applejack?" Dad asks. "Like the cereal?"

I laugh out loud before saying. "Not exactly, but that's what I thought too!"

I started laughing out loud, more so to myself than to my newfound friends.

"What's so funny?" Rainbow asks me.

"Your friend got that name from the cereal. Applejacks!" I say laughing.

Twilight and Fluttershy just rolled their eyes at me. We continued along our merry way down the dirt road. We walked continuously down the road until I could see a red farm, like the ones back home.

"This is Sweet Apple Acres! My friend Applejack harvests the best apples you will ever have." Twilight explained.

"Well, lucky for your friend, I happen to like apples. Well, next to grapes that is." I explain.

"Heehaw!" I heard a Southern accented voice shout out. For some reason I thought of the Engineer from TF2 (association am I right? anyone? no? screw you). What? Years of playing that game will do that to you! Alright, I'm getting off track here.

Anyhowsers, Fluttershy, Rainbow, and I walked, or in Rainbow's case hovered over to where Applejack was working. She had, I was guessing at the time, a yellowish mane and a matching tail with braids, a brown Stetson, green eyes, a light orange (I think) fur coat and three apples on her flank. Whatever.

When she first saw me, she had no idea what to make of me, but Twilight snapped her friend out of her thoughts and explained my situation to her.

"Well shoot. Makin' friends is easy!" Applejack said cheerfully. "Ah don' see why it's hard fer you."

"I tried making friends with the towns...ponies? Yeah, townsponies and they all ran off and shut themselves inside as if I were some kind of wild animal." I explain to her.

Applejack gave me a look. The "I think you're calling bullshit and I don't believe you. You better not be lying to me." look. That is the face she made, which I have dubbed... The Face.

I shrank back and said, "Twi. Little help please? She's giving me that look and I'm a little concerned here."

"What look?"

"The "I think you're calling bullshit and I don't believe you. You better not be lying to me." look."

"His story checks out. He told me himself. The whole town shut their doors on him like he was some kind of monster and left him. All alone. If you still don't believe him, ask Rainbow."

"Tell me." Applejack says darkly, leaning dangerously close to my face. Do you bleed? I added in my head, when she actually said: "Do you like apples?"

"Well, you're lucky that I happen to like apples. Well, next to grapes that is." I explain.

Applejack hands me an apple and I eat the entire thing. "It's alright." I say.

"What's wrong pardner?" Applejack asks me.

"Nothing, nothing. I just like the apple without the skin. Oh, and I usually give the core to my dog, who is not here with me now." I explain.

Rainbow, Applejack, Twilight, and Fluttershy look at me like I grew an extra head. "What? Am I really that strange to you guys."

"Actually, no." Twilight says, defusing the atmosphere by a little. "I think that you're the most interesting pon-err, person? Yeah, person around. Nice hat by the way."

"No one else, besides my parents or my friends back home, has said that about me before. And thanks, I got it from Disneyland. Fun place."

"Anything else we should know about you?"

"I'm a bit of a picky eater but I've been working on it." I say.

"Right then, on to Rarity I guess. Assuming she doesn't wig out." Twilight said.

"I have no doubt of that." I say. "Also, I'd like my jacket and gloves back please."

"Right, Rainbow was carrying those." Twilight says as Rainbow Dash tosses them back to me.

"Thanks." I say, putting my gloves and jacket back on.

Now, Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and I were now headed towards Rarity's place. It kind of looked like something I'd see in a Disney movie or maybe Europe. MAYBE.

"What did it look like?" Dad asked.

"I'll try my best to describe it." I say. "Now please, no more interruptions."

How best to describe her place. It's kind of like, well something out of a Disney movie, but it was different and not at all boring like those classic brick and mortar houses. Those houses in the town just didn't catch my attention, they were just so 'blah'. No. This one, on the other hand, actually stood out to me, like the topic sentence of an essay, it caught my attention!

Twilight knocks on the door about four or five times.

"Just a moment please." a feminine refined voice calls out.

"Rarity, it's us." Twilight says. "We've brought somepony to meet you."

"Alright darling, I'll be right down."

"Now um, how can I help toda---AHAHAHAHAHA!" the alabaster mare, who judging from the styled mane and refined tone, shrieks. "My heavens, I've never seen anything like you before! And what in Equestria are you wearing. Although the hat and facial scruff gives him an adventurer's look if he were to ditch the glasses. But the leather and boots, goodness just doesn't go with the outfit and the khaki is just screaming 'HELP ME'!"

"Nice to meet you too." I say sarcastically. "Now, if you're done insulting the ensemble that I normally wear on a job for my college's museum, we need your help with something."

"Whatever do you need my help with darling?" Rarity addresses me.

"Making friends." I say bluntly.

"Ooooh. Straight to the point, love it. Well, making friends is easy!" she says in a cheery voice, seriously, pony Mary Poppins everyone.

"For you maybe, but not for me. I tried befriending the townsponies, but they all ran off and shut their doors on me." I explain, straightening my snow covered hat out. Seriously, this world is bonkers.

"Well, that is just rude and uncivilized." Rarity says with a huff, hilariously sticking to her character.

"Today hasn't exactly been a warm welcoming for me." I say, scratching the back of my head.

"Well, you do need more friends. I'll see if I can assist my friends. And uh, you of course. Hehe."

"Nice place you have here." I say.

"Are you complimenting me or are you just saying that to change the subject, dear?" Rarity asks me inquisitively.

"No, no!" I say hurriedly, raising my gloved hands up in defense. "I really do mean it! Your shop-home caught my attention. Like the topic sentence of an essay! It caught my attention."

Twilight sighs and grabs me in her magic as I rambled on and on, with Rarity following behind us.

On the way to meet the last of Twilight's friends, I spotted an Earth pony, a pink one. The one I would eventually know as Pinkie Pie. Said mare turned around, saw me and gasped and bolted off at lightning speed.

"Not again." I sigh in defeat.

"Oh Chase, don't feel bad. That's just Pinkie being Pinkie." Fluttershy says.

"Twilight, can I ask you something." I am met with silence, but she allows me to ask my question.

"IS EVERYONE IN THIS DAMN TOWN A XENOPHOBE?!?!" I scream out.

"No. It's not xenophobia, it's just... oh, how to say this. There hasn't been a human here for decades." Twilight explains calmly. "Naturally, we haven't seen something like you in well... ever."

I let out a sound that sounded like a combination of a bored sigh and a yawn. "I see. I need a moment to... collect my thoughts." I say bluntly, walking behind my friends, putting my gloved left hand, my pointer finger just barely below my nose, in thought.

So, there have been humans here before? Who else knows about this? Maybe her mentor knows something? Further research is required, since 70% of all archaeology is done in the library. This is... unexpected. I've been sent here for some reason that I haven't figured out yet. Until I figure out how I got here and why I was dropped into Equestria, I'm going to keep my findings to myself. Something strange is definitely going on here. And I. Want. Answers.

Rainbow looks at me quizzically. "You okay man?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just lost in thought is all." I lie, which I didn't technically. Mind you, at the time I was contemplating how my situation was even happening at all. There are obviously powers at play here that I cannot possibly comprehend. Powers that I don't even know existed, and I need to find out what was going on.

"Alright. If you say so."

"We're here." Twilight addresses me. "Sugarcube Corner."

Again, I resisted the urge to laugh. I couldn't take the horse puns anymore. "Okay. If that house is made of actual candy I am frickin done here." I muttered under my breath.

"Pinkie makes the best sweets you'll ever have." Twilight trailed on, then stopped as she opened the door.

"Where is everypony?"

"SURPRISE!" the pink mare from earlier jumps out at me.

"HOLY CRAP!" I say, falling backwards and then picking myself up.

"Didjalikethepartydija?Huhhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh!"

Pushing the pink mare off of me, I said, "Pinkie, if that's your name. There's nobody here."

"Didn't you invite anypony at all?" Rainbow Dash asked.

At that last part, Pinkie froze mid-step. This pony confuses me to no end. In fact, the minute I met her, I just stopped bothering trying to figure her out. Pinkie darted around back and forth across the room. She literally searched everywhere, and how she's able to get into tight spaces is beneath me.

Twilight and I looked out the back of the bakery and saw a scrambled cluster of hoofprints, almost like they left in a frenzied panic. "Pinkie, I'm pretty sure that they ditched you."

Pinkie gasped. “What?! They ditched me on the welcome party I set up for your new friend?? Oh, that’s rude, rude, and beyond rude! UBER RUDE! I know every single pony in this town, and they suddenly had to act like that?! That’s two, two, two times the rude!”

“Wait a second." I interrupted. “You threw this party for me?”

“Yuppity-yup-yup!”

“Then, why were you gasping and running away from me earlier?”

“Ohhhhh! Right! That! Well, when I first saw you earlier today, I thought to myself, ‘I know every single pony in this town, but I definitely haven’t seen you before, so that makes you new!'! Plus, I was so scared because I've never seen you before, so I ZOOM! went to find the others to warn them about you until I saw you with Twilight and the others, and then I noticed that they were not scared around you, and then I was like, "(GASP!) Omygawsh! If Twilight and the others were already friends with that new thingy, then that thingy is my friend, too!'! So, I went (GASP!) and I left so could throw you this super-duper welcome party! Then, you came through the door and I was like, 'SURPRIIIIISE!', and you were like, 'HURRRR?!', and then Twilight told me that everypony ditched me, and then I was like, '(GASP!) Why would they do that??', and then you were like, 'Wait, you threw this party for me?', and then I was like, 'Ohhhhhh! Right! Well, when I first saw--'."

"All right, Pinkie Pie, I think we get the idea." Twilight silenced the pink chattycathy. Seriously, she is a menace to my sanity, if I had any at all.

I don't know what confused me more: the fact that the party pony already decided to become friends with an unknown being like me or the fact that she said all of that under one breath. In fact, I STILL don't know what confused me more.

“Anywayyyyyyyy, I’m Pinkie Pie! What’s your name, creature-that-I-have-never-ever-ever-ever-seen-before-in-my-entire-Pinkie-life? Huh? Huh, huh, huh?” she asked, smiling big. No. That's not creepy or anything.

I couldn't help but felt a little intimidated by the pink pony, but at the same time, I was amused by her.

"Chase." I finally answered.

“Hiya, Chase! Hey! That sounds pretty funny when you say it over and over again! Chasechasechasechasechasechasechasechasechasechasechasechasechasechasechase…”

"DON'T!" Twilight and I shouted in synch. Seriously, I cannot stand someone who needlessly repeats themselves over an over again. It's like listening to a broken record.

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie says, offering me a cupcake, which I gladly accepted.

"I'm grabbing another one."

“Sure! Eat all the cupcakes and sweets you want! It’s your party, after all!” Pinkie Pie smiled brightly.

My expression suddenly changed into that of confusion. “But... this is hardly even a party. There's only four of us.”

“A company of four is still a party!” the pink pony replied to my observation.

“Plus us,” Rainbow spoke, announcing the group's arrival. Everypony turned to Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash entering the room.

“Hooray! You came!” Pinkie Pie cheered.

“We will never ever miss your parties for the world, darling!” Rarity replied.

“Neither will I!” Rainbow Dash added in.

“You kin’ always expect me to come on by!” Applejack smiled.

“Um…me, too!” Fluttershy grinned.

“Now that everypony is here. Well, that is, not everypony in Ponyville... LET'S PARTAYYYYYY!!” the party pony shouted, launching herself in the air like a hyper pink, paper rocket.

"Where ihf efhrypomny, Pihmkie?" Rainbow asked with a mouth filled to the brim with cupcakes. Seriously, how is this possible? Rainbow should be choking right now!

"They basically ditched us." Twilight explains to Rainbow, with an exasperated sigh. "Apparently they were supposed to help Pinkie surprise Chase over there, but alas, they were too scared to stick around for the welcome party."

Rainbow then swallowed the cupcakes in her mouth before speaking again. "Are you bucking serious!?! They ditched him even when they were invited to one of Pinkie's parties??? Pinkie's bucking parties???? Wow. THAT is a new low. Way to bucking go Ponyville..." She sighed in annoyance and turned her focus back to me and talking to me.

The party pony then joined in and started rambling, to which I responded by tuning her out. Then she said something about getting more cupcakes and bolted off again. Something was bothering Twilight ever since she first saw me: How did he get here?

"Chase. Do you know how you got here?" Twilight approached me, but not intrusive-like.

"Sorry, I don't. It kind of happened really fast. (snaps fingers) It's all a blur." I say, gulping down another cupcake.

"Yeah. How DID you get here anyways?" Rainbow asks me.

"I... hmm." I look down at the ground in thought, then back at Twilight and Rainbow Dash. "I'm not actually sure how I got here. One minute I was in Nepal freezing my ass off and then..." I snap my fingers for emphasis. "I'm here... wait. I KNOW HOW I GOT HERE!"

I pull out the statue of the ghostly white alicorn from my satchel and show it to the group.

"Yeeeeah, You're going to have to take a seat for this." I say as everypony gathered around me.

"So that statue thingy brought you here and stopped you from dying?" Rainbow asked me.

I nod in confirmation.

"And that's what landed you in the Everfree Forest?" Rarity asks me.

"Yeah. Pretty much."

Pinkie tried to make a pun out of my story only to get silence as a response.

"I think the statue might have brought me here. I'm not sure yet." I said, setting the statue back in my satchel.

KNOCK, KNOCK!

"Hiya Princess Celestia!" Pinkie greeted before being knocked out of the way by an extremely surprised and yet extremely confused Twilight.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight says. "What're you doing here?"

Just then, a tall white alicorn with a flowing multicolored mane and matching tail gracefully stepped inside the establishment. Thankfully, she was already inside when the rain really started pouring. She was dressed with a shining crown, a glittering chestpiece with a purple crystal in it, and golden hoof covers.

"Well, I have a free hour, plus I decided to take a personal day off and come down to see how my favored student is doing. Surely you would have gotten a letter that alerted you to my arrival?" the alicorn grinned.

"Nnnnnooo?" Twilight said slowly, uber confused.

"I distinctly remember sending it through Spike. How did it not reach you?"

One cutaway later...

"That is a true mystery. I'm thrilled you showed up, on the other hoof. Isn't it kinda dangerous to travel by yourself?" Twilight asked worriedly.

"Oh, fuhgeddaboudit Twilight, everything's just fine and dandy! Besides, it's kinda nice to visit Ponyville once in a while without something ridiculously strange happening. Sides, a mare deserves to enjoy a little time to herself once in a while. I sincerely hope I didn't come at a bad ti-----" She stopped in her tracks, and her eyes shot wide open as she started back at me.

Silence filled the room. Twilight figured that Celestia would have probably reacted this way. A lump went down in my throat. The event was so traumatizing that the Universe himself had to go to a therapist because of this.

Twilight inched in tenderly. "Princess Celestia, meet Chase."

The princess finally broke out of her dazed stupor and finally asked Twilight. "Twilight. W-what is he?"

"He is a human." Twilight answered.

"I have never heard of or seen this creature before. I have reigned for over a thousand years. Yet, this creature is all so new to me! How could I not know of this? There has to be some kind of mistake."

Wait, did I hear that right, or did I really damage my hearing? More than a thousand years? DAMN! I was speechless.

"He was brought here just before you arrived."

"DANG! YOU'RE REALLY OLD!" I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I couldn't help it, it sort of slipped out.

Silence was my only reply. Each of my friends reacted differently, one of whom dived for cover. Princess Celestia on the other hand, stood where she was, staring at me, speechless. Did I say that?! I SAID THAT?!?! DAFAQ?! I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT?!?! WHY MOUTH?!?! WHY DO YOU BETRAY ME SO?!?!!?!

"ERR... uh, yet you look..." Oh no! THINK! THINK! THINK DAMN YOU BRAIN! I panicked on the inside. "Beautiful! YEESH DID IT GET HOT IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME?" I said while trying and failing to salvage the situation. Thank you brain, I'll never take you for granted ever again!

The princess still continued staring at me, but then she said as she blushed, "OH! Uh... thank you! Thank you very much." Everybody, including me, sighed in relief.

"That reminds me, Princess, would you like to join us?" Twilight gestures inside.

"Absolutely! I'd love to! What's the party for?"

"It's for Chase here." Pinkie chirps, pointing to me. "It's a Welcome-to-Equestria and First-Human-to-ever-come-here-with somewhat-of-an-Idea-how party!"

"Sounds absolutely delightful. A very kind gesture of you, Pinkie."

"What I'm here for!" she says cheerfully. What a Marey Sue. HA! Horse pun my foot!

The princess then made her way gracefully and elegantly inside. She then proceeded to sit herself right next to me. Immediately, I caught quite the whiff of whatever perfume she was wearing. She had quite interesting tastes. I coughed lightly.

"Soooo, 'Chase', do tell. Where are you from?" the princess asked me.

"I come from Earth."

"Fascinating. We call this Earth as well. A big coincidence, wouldn't you agree?"

I let out depraved laughter. "Yeah. Really big."

She had her purple eyes fixated on mine. Damn those are some beautiful eyes if I ever saw any. "How about your country?"

"The United States of America."

"That definitely sounds very promising. Your people must really work hard to keep your country running together, don't they?"

I exhaled sharply. "Yeah. Although there are certain... issues they don't agree on... it's very complicated and I don't really feel comfortable talking about it. I'd rather not bore you with the details."

"I completely understand." she says softly with an understanding demeanor.

"Uh.. err. thanks... uh... Your Majesty... err, Princess, um... oh fuck." I struggled with composing myself, as I had never met royalty before in my life, the only exception being on one of my adventures, although I was kicked out of the palace of the sultan.

"Oh, dear. Absolutely no need to trouble yourself with formalities. Just refer to me as Princess, or Celestia. Whatever floats your boat."

"Think I prefer 'Princess'." I nod.

"Very well then." My friends however were absolutely flabbergasted at the fact that their ruler quickly became acquainted with me. She was the kindest and most benevolent of all, so this wasn't a welcome surprise for them.

"Tell me Chase, are you a violent man?" Princess Celestia asked me, sort of whispering.

"Only as a last resort. Mind you, I'm an archaeology major and an adventurer, so I have to fight my way out of a situation or to obtain priceless relics. And I have killed before, which is why I have a pistol and a whip but only for self defense, but I assure you no harm will come to yourself or your subjects." I explain to her, with complete honesty.

"Thank you Chase, for being honest with me."

Princess Celestia turned to Twilight. "How did he get here?"

"He says that an alicorn shaped statue somehow brought him here."

"Interesting." Princess Celestia says, musing her thoughts. "Chase, do you still have it?"

"Yes. Actually, I do." I say, pulling the same statue out of my satchel and carefully handing it to her.

"Interesting. A strange statue and a strange visitor." she turns to me. "Sorry."

"T's alright." I say, waving a gloved hand up to show that I wasn't offended in any way.

"I shall have my mages analyze the statue. Well, I believe now would be the time for me to depart. I wish you all the best of luck."

Right before she left, she glanced at me once more, sitting in the midst of the group.

Must have been quite the adventure he's been put in. He's very polite for an interdimensional entity. Also handsome at that. She grins a little while blushing again. He called me 'beautiful.' Very kind of him. Kind of him indeed.

With that, she flew away.

I turned my attention back to my friends and thought: Well, that happened.

Author's Note

Me: What happens now?

Medic: Now? (cackles wickedly) Let's go practice fanfiction.