Two G's in a Pod

Two G’s in a Pod

Chapter 2: Nightly Escapades

By: Stillmatic and Lucius Seneca

Don and Will sprinted through the forest, smashing into branches and tripping over roots constantly, the very thought of park police pursuing them causing them to run faster. Will dodged around a tree, only to catch a low-lying branch on the bridge of his nose.

"FUCK!"

He stumbled to his feet, blood coursing from his now bruised and aching nose. Don laughed hysterically at the scene and promptly tripped over a rock, sending him tumbling down a small dip in the forest floor and into a creek of sorts. Will, not seeing Don vanish from sight, quickly had his sneaker catch on a gnarled root and soon he too was soaking wet, lying face down in the glacial water. The two climbed to their feet, neither in very good shape, and climbed the opposing bank before continuing their stumbling run through the darkness of the forest, flashlight dropped somewhere behind them.

Eventually the two gasping men slowed and came to a stop. Will slid down the trunk of a nearby tree and hung his head, "Fuck...this...shit..."

Don leaned against a tree, "The fucks up with your breathing? Asthma?" Will nodded, "Sucks."

It took a few minutes, but they eventually managed to regain their breath and calm down enough to breathe regularly. Will stood up, nearly falling in the process, and leaned against the tree as well. His companion looked around for anything, specifically his flashlight, but found nothing of interest.

"Shit," Don cursed, "We have no way of finding a way through." He pulled out his Blackberry and turned on its light, "Other than this, I guess."

Will sighed tiredly and looked around, "Where to? I can't even remember where we came from."

"Let's see..." Don aimed the semi-bright light at the ground, looking for their trail. He pointed to the left, "We came from that way, so let's go opposite then?"

Will waved his hand in a circular motion "We...could be..." he took a deep breath "...going in fucking circles and not know it."

"Let's keep going, because no forest goes on forever." Don stopped and thought about that, "Well... actually, if you're in the Red Forest and you- Nevermind. Let's just get the hell up outta here."

The twosome continued walking opposite from where they assumed they came until very faint lights could be seen just past the tree line in front of them.

Don squinted, "You see that?"

Walking faster despite his asthma, Will nodded "Yeah. Might just be some wack hallucination though."

The other man kept up, "How the hell can it be a hallucination if I see it too? How does that even make sense?"

"You ever see that movie Kangaroo Jack?"

"Yeah, but we don't have some goddamn ostritch or emo or emu or whatever jumping around and doing backflips all over the place this time." Don commented, "Besides, I think only ONE of us is high right now."

Will shook his head, "Man, that white guy thought he was in an SUV in the desert, sipping on some ice cold beverage."

Don scoffed, "Because he was a filthy cracker is why! Always dreaming of getting into their cars and sipping all sorts of fine shit.

Not bothering to argue the subject any longer, the duo broke past the tree line, breathing a sigh of relief in the process. Will narrowed his eyes at the lights which seemed to flicker and glow "What is that shit man? I can't see anything."

Don held up his phone, "Not much for me either... except for that big ass light over there!"

He pointed to the bottom of the valley in front of them, where a massive lamp-like object towered over a town of sorts, illuminating the nearby area in a non-intrusive fashion. They both stared in awe at the sheer size of it and wondered why anyone would even want such a tacky thing in their town. That is, until they snapped out of it and looked at each other.

"You wanna go check that place out?" Don asked, "I'm still not getting reception, we don't have much of a choice and this snow doesn't really make for good sleeping grounds." Will nodded, "Alright then... Ladies first, bitch!"

Don forcefully shoved Will with his good arm, sending him onto the ground and down the snowy slope.

"You motherfu-" Will was probably cut off as he reached back and grabbed Don's ankle, sending them both into oblivion.

Don, in the split second before Will's fat ass dragged him down the slope, grimaced and yelped, "FUCK!"

He fell on his ass as Will dragged him down with him, sliding down the snow and rushing past multiple evergreens. Will was launched off of a small bank, sending him airborne. He slammed down onto Don as they screamed out in fear for their lives. The older man then grunted as he  shoved his younger counterpart off and barely avoided a tree and an untimely death. A look of relief washed over Will's face as they eventually hit the bottom, coming to a stop and feeling cold once again.

Don stood up, "Huh. That went better than I thought. Thanks for dragging me down, you jackass."

Will wiped the slush from his face, "Fuck you, man. Look at this shit!" He gestured to the slush covering both of them "Fuckin' freezing! This is how hypothermia kills people."

Don just laughed at Will's angry tirade and they stood up, wiping the brown slush off their already soaked clothes. Neither cared much for their appearance any longer. Will's fairly long brown hair was twisted and matted with pine needles sticking out in some spots. Where his nose had connected with the branch, the skin had split and dried blood covered his face, mixing with slush and water, giving him the look of a man who had a good story to tell over a few beers.

Don fared slightly worse, arm still bleeding from the cuts. It was obvious the running and falling hadn't helped much. His dirty blonde hair was soaked, courtesy of melting snow and the previous stream. Their clothing was stained and soaked thoroughly, but neither seemed too bothered by the cold, perhaps from the adrenaline brought on by the running and sliding. Up ahead the town could be seen and the men limped towards it.

Will searched his pocket, finding his phone's touchscreen to be shattered. He pressed on the power button, sighed when nothing lit up, then tossed it aside in resignation, figuring it to be beyond repair. How Don's Blackberry had survived remained unknown, but Will was more focused on his aching ankle.

He looked over at Don and laughed suddenly, "You look like shit!"

Don shoved Will, "You're one to talk, ya ugly ass nigga." He gave a quick look to the town, "Shall we?"

"After you, sir."

"Bah," was all Don could reply with.

Both men began treading towards the nearby town, taking in its sights and overall design. The houses seems to be made of grey cobblestone or normal stone for the most part, which an exception of a log cabin every now and again. Smoke billowed out of various chimneys and all the stall were closed for the night. Grimy snow and slush cluttered the streets, which also seemed to be made of stone as opposed to black-top. They stopped at a two-story house made of a mix of timber and stone, nicely made and well-kept. Don squinted at the sign above the door and examined it, trying to understand the language.

"What... the fuck is that? I see some... Cyrillic? This is fucking Eastern Europe? We're fucking dead." He kept looking, "But what's that other shit? I've never seen that type of script before."

Will ran a hand down his neck as he looked at the sign "That's Greek, I think. Never seen the letters elongated like that before. Reminds me of calligraphy."

"Ew. I don't think you should be using the internet for that, you nasty ass son of a bitch."

"Hardy-fucking-har. It says 'to Stay'."

Don chuckled and pulled out his phone, "Gimme a minute, let me get down the phonetics here..." He then proceeded to decipher to the best of his ability, coming to one messed-up word, "Sss... Soom? Some? Wer... Were? Where?" He put two and two together to receive, "Somewhere? Somewhere To Stay?"

"That's really redundant." Will muttered.

"I was hoping the Cyrillic would say something like 'AAHH NOO CHEEKI BREEKI IV DAMKE!' Suppose we aren't lucky enough for that. What now?"

Will shrugged. "It sounds like a hotel or some shit." He looked at Don, "I don't have any money though."

Don smirked, "As Biggie Smalls once said, 'Who got your back? Who got the gat?' Don't worry," he pulled out a black leather wallet, "I got some ducats on me. Just don't expect to share a bed with me. If anything, you're going to sleep on the floor."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll have to pay you back." Something jabbed into Will's stomach and he grunted "Take your damn contraband. This shit is really fuckin' uncomfortable."

Don grabbed the bag of items and stuffed it into his backpack, "Baby. Come on, you first. I'd rather not attract too much attention in my current state."

Throwing his hands up in another bout of resignation, Will pushed open the door, ducked his head under the strangely small doorway, and entered the heated lobby of the small inn. A fire burned with quiet crackles nearby and a desk, built into the stone wall, faced the dancing flames. Will, still not looking anywhere near reputable, glanced around for the man or woman who should have been manning the desk.

His eyes froze on the small figure in the middle of the room. It would have looked like a miniature horse except for the fact that a horn sprouted from its forehead. There was a light swishing as the... thing swept the floor with a broom, with its back turned to the visitors. Will pulled back his head and whispered to Don who was just entering.

"What the fuck..."

Don's face contorted into disgust, "Who let a goddamn animal into a place like this? This is where people supposedly sleep!"

The thing whirled, a faint light glowing around the horn. Will backed up in response, seeing both anger and surprise on the grey animal's face.

"Let's fucking go man! That ain't no normal animal!" Will's voice had turned into a tremulous hiss.

Don halted him, "WAIT! There has to be something up here! Some nigga is manning the station and we're about to get at 'em and get a damn room!" He stomped his right Adidas on the floor, eliciting a wince from the animal nearby, "I'm fucking wet, I'm tired, I'm bleeding, and I'm hungry as hell right now! And in case you didn't notice," he added, "we got nowhere to go for god's sake!"

Will opened his mouth to reply, but another voice cut him off, "Just who the heck are you two?" Both men froze and looked over at the horse in front of them. Their eyes widened at the sight of its lips moving, forming the words they heard. "Actually, what are you? Why are you in my establishment?!"

Will looked back at Don, "Did it...Did it just...?"

Don's face fell and a distraught look crossed it, "... Dear god, I hope I'm hallucinating off those two percs I took..."

"I have no words,” replied Will, his face ashen.

"Oh," Don whispered back, "I was hoping you had some sort of idea of why this thing just ta-"

"What are you two? Never seen the likes of you before."

They looked at each other, yelled in fear, and bolted out the door, letting it slam loudly and echo across the block. Without any hesitation, both kept running until another horse thing appeared nearby, strolling in a care-free manner across the street.

"Good god, what's coming to the world?!" The older man muttered loudly.

The horse turned to them and backed up in a mix of shock and curiosity, "Sweet Celestia... Are you two those Diamond Dogs who were temping?"

Will shrieked, "The horror! The horror!"

They backed up while the stallion gained back his confidence and started walking towards them nonchalantly, "You know, it's really great you guys are so willing to help us out now and again. We may be able to locate those gems, but geez, you guys can dig through stone like nopony's business!"

Don poked his companion and spoke in a hurried whisper, "Let's dip! Now!"

Will made random gestures with his hands towards the stallion "Jewels! Y- yeah, that's what we're doing!"

Before the stallion could reply, the two men had already left, sprinting down the lit street, one hobbling from an injured ankle and the other cradling his arm. Will gasped for breath, mind racing as his legs pumped.

Will gasped for breath, mind racing as his legs pumped in an uncoordinated manner. Don ran next to him, eyes wide and hair flung back as the duo made for the forest and valley once again, unable to understand just what they had gotten themselves into this time. They ignored a mare trotted past them, calling out with a hoof to her mouth.

"Great work yesterday! We really owe you guys!"

Don waved in a dismissive manner, probably not even hearing what the pony had said. Will clutched his face as his mouth hung upon, "We're tripping acid, we're tripping acid!"

Don shook his head frantically, "I didn't take any!"

"Me neither!"

Will tripped on a piece of debris and was sent hurling forward and into the back of a cart, his weight knocking the rudimentary transportation from the blocks which kept it from rolling down the incline of the cobblestone street. It rolled forward and Will let out a flurry of curses as Don also threw himself into the wooden vehicle, perhaps thinking Will had formulated a plan to escape from the nightmare quicker.

The wheels spun faster as the additional weight sent it speeding down the hill. Will yelled loudly, "Jesus! Take the wheel!"

Don's legs hung out the back of the open wagon and he pulled them in desperately as the wagon gained speed, smashing through barrels and other miscellaneous objects on the sidewalks. The cobblestones underneath the wagon clicked as the wagon rolled over them, sounding like someone had set off a string of firecrackers beneath the two men.

Will gripped the front of the wagon and peered over and down the steep street "We went the wrong way!"

"Well, FUCK!"

Don's yell was mixed in with the shouting and calling as more and more residents piled out from their houses, intent on finding what had awoken them from their early slumbering. They watched as the two humans sped past, no more than a blur of wooden planks and wild hair. Will, still gripping the wagon, watched as the street dipped and rose, become bumpier and hazardous. Don managed to get into a sitting position and joined Will at the front just in time to see the street dip and rise once more, creating a cobblestone ramp of sorts. Will let out a gasp alongside his companion, who looked fairly frightened.

They cried out in unison, "OH, SHIT!"

The wagon was flung into the air as it hit the ramp. Both men clutched feebly to the wooden planks, but Will, not able to hold on, was launched from the wagon and flung away from Don who looked on in amazement and horror as Will cruised through the night sky in slow motion. The airborne high-schooler waved his arms and legs as weightlessness set in, but before he could appreciate the feeling, he slammed into a rooftop, toppled over the apex of the thatch roofing, and slid off the other side, landing with a loud thud several feet below.

Don, mind still operating in slow motion, turned his head away from the scene and watched as the wagon collided with the ground, splintering and hurling him forward like a ragdoll. Bits of wood, wheels, and nails flew by as Don was sent skidding across the slushy street, slamming hard into the side of a wall, allowing a large chunk of icy snow to slid from the roof above him and onto his body. He looked up in wonderment as the chunk of hard-packed snow struck him in the face and torso.

Will groaned in agony as he grasped onto a window sill for support, lifting himself just barely off the ground. He fell down and rolled over, gasping in pain as he crawled over to Don, who stopped moving a few moments ago. Will shook his friend into wakefulness after a few nudges and both winced from the pain. Don grasped at his head, feeling unwelcome warmth dripping down and dying the snow crimson.

"... Ouch..." was all he managed before slumping against the nearest object, that being a barrel.

Will prodded him again, "The pills man..."

Don shoved his hand into his right pocket and snatched out the bottle in question, unscrewing it and giving two to Will, and the same for himself.

He held them up, "Cheers."

"Cheers..." Will muttered.

They both downed the pills and waited for the effects to kick in. Several horses came by, watching in curiosity as both men set down against a stone house, waiting for pain alleviation. A horse with a faintly purple mane and a silvery coat that, surprisingly enough, shined in the light of the streets, stepped up to the two men and cocked her head to the side. They looked back at her in slight aggravation and sat there, unmoving but writhing in pain.

Don, as far as he could tell in his state, assumed there was a large cut on his head, and judging by the enormous pain he received with every breath, concluded a rib or two had been broken by the heavy snow chunk. Will's shoulder popped out in a less-than-likable fashion while his ankle throbbed and swelled rapidly.

The unicorn finally spoke, "Uh... What are you two?"

Neither responded, but the stallion from earlier did, "Oh, I was speaking to them just a minute ago. They're the temps."

She gave him a look, "Them? The temps? Are you sure about that?"

Don snorted, "Fuck it, let's get outta here now."

Will nodded, "Right."

Don stood up shakily rested against the building for a moment before grabbing onto Will's hands and pulling him up as well. The horses watched as their teamwork furthered, with Don slinging Will's arm over his shoulder to remove the weight off of his sprained ankle. They both bit their lips as aching pangs ran through their respective wounds. Slowly, both men moved away from the small crowd, with the female from earlier following closely. The other horses seemed to dissipate and head back into their homes.

They looked back at her and Will spoke up, "What?"

Don gave him a look, "Don't talk to the hallucination, that’s the first step to mental disease... I think."

The unicorn frowned, "You two can't keep walking around like that all night. You have to treat those, you know. Even Diamond Dogs can't heal that quick."

"Diamond Dogs..." Will muttered.

"I wish we'd just find a god damn hospital or some shit. Hell, I bet we could fix this shit ourselves. Well, maybe not the broken rib, but you know what I mean."

"Do you, uh..." She stopped, looking for the right word, "'Guys' want me to take you to the clinic? It's not far."

Will leaned heavily against Don "You talk to it. I don't want any goddam mental disease."

Feeling exhaustion set in even deeper despite the drugs, Don nodded tiredly "Yeah, a clinic sounds damn good right about now."

The unicorn smiled somewhat awkwardly "Well, it’s just down the hill which is lucky for you two."

"Diamond Dogs..." Will muttered under his breath once again.

"I'm Mica, the leading geologist here." replied the unicorn as she began to walk, leading the limping humans as fast as she could given their current state.

In fact, if it hadn't been for the percs, neither men would be going anywhere, let alone walking. Will, asthma still present, replied to the introduction with a leaden tone.

"Will... I’m Will and this is-"

"Don."

Mica smiled happily, aiding the two men as they walked slowly down the cobblestone streets and towards what appeared to be the clinic. It was a squat building, able to accommodate a small number of patients at any given time. A shingled roof and stone walls gave the building a less-than-cheery appearance, but neither Don nor Will cared much, far too concerned about their injuries. Mica appeared to be talking, but Will wasn't concentrating very hard on her and remained focused on the clinic mere feet away.

Don wasn't much different, stumbling along as he aided the gimped Will. Neither had been able to grasp the sudden events with much clarity and the events remained muddled. Just where were they? Why were animals talking? These were but a few of many questions which tumbled through the duos brains.